Personally, I cannot stand it if a guy sees me poop. I
won’t even let any man into the loo while I’m in
there. Take it or leave it. I am Naijasinglegirl and I
don’t poop!
And neither should u! You’re a woman—have some class. And as much of a double standard as it is, he’ll be turned off by it. I am a master at bathroom etiquette. None of the guys I ever hung around with knew I pooped. I gave them the impression that
when my body needs to undergo metabolism, I vomit out my waste through my mouth or an angel visits me every night to empty my bowels.
Rules to follow:
There are two major factors to consider which are
sound and smell. Our nose and ears functions in a
mutually exclusive way. That’s why there’s need to
turn down the volume of your car stereo when you
are trying to locate a mixed up street address. That’s why its more dangerous to release a silent fart during a catholic mass service than it is to fart at a club.
SOUND
This section is for when the smell is not a factor, but
the sound is. For example, you know he wont be
going into the bathroom soon (perhaps because
he already went) but the walls are paper thin. If
you’re at his place in the morning or evening, you
can turn on the faucets, and showers, then pretend
you’re brushing your teeth vigorously to mask the
sound of your ploping. If he asks you why there’s so
much noise in there, tell him running water calms
your nerves.
If appropriate, the best thing is to tell him you are
going to take a quick shower. This is great because
he thinks you are doing it as “prep” for “wowie time.”
However, beware of two things:
1. The smell will be worse in a humid environment so
use cold water.
2. Do a super fast wash-up afterwards because of the
whole aforementioned “wowie time” thing he may
be expecting.
Flush as you plop. That’s pretty self explanatory. If its not going to be super weird for you to flush four or five times, then time your plops to the same time as the loud flushing noise.
Beware: TIME PROPERLY!
The loud part of the flush is not for a few seconds
after you’ve pushed the lever.
Put some toilet paper into the toilet before you begin.
This absorbs the poop and thus prevents that telling back splash noise. Beware, it will smell worse if you use this method because the specimen is not
submerged fully into the water.
Extra Tip: Turn on the radio to the maximum volume
or slot in one of those TerryG’s loud cds when your
bowel starts giving you signs. Before you leave him
in the bedroom or sitting room, tell him you
absolutely love the TerryG’s song playing. Then after two minutes of dancing or singing along loud, excuse yourself. Chances are, he’ll leave the radio up until you come back.
SMELL
Smell is a tougher thing to conceal. At times it gets
so bad his nose won’t only be traumatised. He might start hearing the smell of the poop. I’m sure you wouldn’t let it get to that cos you are a princess and barbies don’t poop!
But if it happens, smell is all you need to worry about when the area he is sitting is far from the bathroom and the sound wont carry. If this is the case, here are a few tips:
Before you get in there, pre warn him by giving him
signs like
“Boo, are you perceiving that awful smell from your
bathroom area? Let me go check it out.”
“Boo, let’s play hide and seek. I pick the toilet to
hide.”
“Boo, is someone working on the drainage outside?”
“Boo, what’s that smell? Did a rat die in here?”
Lock the door!
Do your deeds as FAST as you can!
Use the bathroom spray or, insecticide. Tell him you
are helping to disinfect his bathroom if he asks.
BEFORE you drop one AND after. Most people wait
until after. Do not make this mistake. Crack a window or light a match (I usually move around with a matchstick). These are both “tell tale poop smell” concealers.
If possible, don’t walk out of the bathroom till the
smell goes out except you are walking out with a
lawyer. LoL
That way, the smell has a chance to dissipate by the
time he needs to go in there again.


If multiple flushes aren’t a problem, take advantage.
The less time poop is sitting in the toilet, the less
chance is has to stink up the room.
If all else fails, accept that he will know you pooped.
As unattractive as it might be, all mature men know
that all humans poop. If he makes fun of you or sues you for a smelly poop , tell him to grow up. If he won’t grow up, he’s not mature enough for a
relationship so its okay to break-up cos of a natural
process like pooping.

http://naijauncut.com/2014/09/24/naija-girl-teaches-other-girls-how-to-secretly-shit-in-their-boyfriendlovers-house/

chai...
I am a victim of this method of pooing
my girl spent 5 days in ma house and I
didn't catch pooing throughout her stay.
when I asked her she said she finds it difficult to
poo at a place that's not her home. and I believed butmarvelled.

I even went online to search how not to poo for 5 days, but couldn't find any
concrete answer. cos I for one poo every day. at least once

pooing is not sexy at all

Hehehehhe...This one na "POO" thread

penquin: pooing is not sexy at all

When last did u poo? Cos I know u don't like doing things that are not sexy

@Kachisbarbie pls come over here,Ur attention is Highly needed!

priscaoge:

When last did u poo? Cos I know u don't like doing things that are not sexy

in toilet as am typing

penquin: in toilet as am typing

*CoversNose*

And I know it must be "FLUSH ME NOT" kind of poo


*Zooms Of d Thread*

priscaoge:

*CoversNose*

And I know it must be "FLUSH ME NOT" kind of poo


*Zooms Of d Thread*

yea


it's not sexy u know. haha

All dis strategy for just pooing
Thank God am a man o
Chukwu aju!

Btw Op, wats happening on ur Dp?

God help you if its a latrine or shot put

...hiohiohiohio...


Funny thread....


Hmmm....Can i do this??....That means I wont press phone and read magazine again??....

I thought beautiful angels don't poo,and if they do it turns to gold.

Kachisbarbie:

yels

*and unibenstudent her bodyguard stands behind her*

Kachisbarbie:

yels

Lmao

What format do u use while Pooing

Kachisbarbie:

taah, you are very dangerous and illegal.

@priscaoge : all of the above

am certified to guard you with my life..madam

For how many days will u continuing hiding
I ma self I bring tissue paper for ma babe to shiiit, she will even ask me to accompany her self so wat re u hiding
Wen I was growing up I tot de fine ladies don't mess or shyyyte but ma pretty sistas made me to had a retink

Kachisbarbie:

taah, you are very dangerous and illegal.

@priscaoge : all of the above

Lmao...U see Y I called u...Hehhehehe I know say u don apply all d format

Why the lies. Be urself jare

All these in the name of poo? You cant cheat nature, baiby. D loo needs d poo, jst give it to it when u are called to d loo. Dont be greedy; free d waste and enjoy that sense of freedom. Abi u wan die!
I'l look my gf in d eye and say: get d fhuck into d fhuckin toilet , drop d fhucking poo, 'freshen' up and come and give me some thing to knack in my bedroom. Dont give me that fhucking super-human trait there!

LaurelP:
Btw Op, wats happening on ur Dp?

just my question too. Serenityspot must answer.

All this wahala just to poo??
I give up!