John Pavlovitz [pictured here with his family] is an 18-year local church ministry veteran.

He is currently the pastor of a house church community called North Wake House Church, and also a volunteer at North Raleigh Community Church.

He is married to wife, Jennifer, and has two young children, Noah and Selah. He’s also a keen blogger, and a blog that he posted last week – entitled ‘If I Have Gay Children: Four Promises From A Christian Pastor/Parent’ has gone viral and prompted thousands of comments.

The reason? Because he believes he would treat his LGBTI children with exactly the same love and support as if they were straight, and would pray that they weren’t the victims of ignorance or hatred.

‘I was prepared for some people to applaud it, and for others to condemn it,’ he said afterwards. ‘That's what happens whenever you put an opinion out there. I was fully prepared for the waves of both support and hostility that accompany any vantage point, especially on a controversial topic like this.

‘What I was not prepared for in any way, were the literally hundreds and hundreds of people who have reached out to me personally to thank me for bringing some healing and hope to their families; for giving them a message they rarely get from Christian leaders.

'Many parents, children, and siblings have confided in me – some for the first time anywhere – telling of the pain, and bullying, and shunning they're received from churches, pastors, and church members.

‘They have shared with me their stories of exclusion, isolation, of unanswered prayers, of destructive therapies, of suicide attempts, and of being actively and passively driven from faith, by people of faith.

‘This is why I do what I do; to let people who've been damaged or excluded, feel seen, known, and loved.’

Read Pavlovitz’s post below, and check out his blog at johnpavlovitz.com.

 

If I Have Gay Children: Four Promises From A Christian Pastor/Parent

Sometimes I wonder if I’ll have gay children.

I’m not sure if other parents think about this, but I do; quite often.

Maybe it’s because I have many gay people in my family and circle of friends. It’s in my genes and in my tribe.

Maybe it’s because, as a pastor of students, I’ve seen and heard the horror stories of gay Christian kids, from both inside and outside of the closet, trying to be part of the Church.

Maybe it’s because, as a Christian, I interact with so many people who find homosexuality to be the most repulsive thing imaginable, and who make that abundantly clear at every conceivable opportunity.

For whatever reason, it’s something that I ponder frequently. As a pastor and a parent, I wanted to make some promises to you, and to my two kids right now…

1) If I have gay children, you’ll all know it.

My children won’t be our family’s best-kept secret.

I won’t talk around them in conversations with others. I won’t speak in code or vague language. I won’t try to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes, and I won’t try to spare the feelings of those who may be older, or easily offended, or uncomfortable.

Childhood is difficult enough, and most gay kids spend their entire existence being horribly, excruciatingly uncomfortable. I’m not going to put mine through any more unnecessary discomfort, just to make Thanksgiving dinner a little easier for a third cousin with misplaced anger issues.

If my children come out, we’ll be out as a family.

2) If I have gay children, I’ll pray for them.

I won’t pray for them to be made ‘normal’. I’ve lived long enough to know that if my children are gay, that is their normal.

I won’t pray that God will heal or change or fix them. I will pray for God to protect them; from the ignorance and hatred and violence that the world will throw at them, simply because of who they are.

I’ll pray the He shields them from those who will despise them and wish them harm; who will curse them to Hell and put them through Hell, without ever knowing them at all. I’ll pray that they enjoy life; that they laugh, and dream, and feel, and forgive, and that they love God and humanity.

Above all, I’ll pray to God that my children won’t allow the unGodly treatment they might receive from some of His misguided children, to keep them from pursuing Him.

3) If I have gay children, I’ll love them.

I don’t mean some token, distant, tolerant love that stays at a safe arm’s length. It will be an extravagant, open hearted, unapologetic, lavish, embarrassing-them-in-the-school cafeteria, kind of love.

I won’t love them despite their sexuality, and I won’t love them because of it. I will love them; simply because they’re sweet, and funny, and caring, and smart, and kind, and stubborn, and flawed, and original, and beautiful… and mine.

If my kids are gay, they may doubt a million things about themselves and about this world, but they’ll never doubt for a second whether or not their Daddy is over-the-moon crazy about them.

4) If I have gay children, most likely; I have gay children.

If my kids are going to be gay, well they pretty much already are.

God has already created them and wired them, and placed the seed of who they are within them. Psalm 139 says that He, ‘stitched them together in their mother’s womb’. The incredibly intricate stuff that makes them uniquely them; once-in-History souls, has already been uploaded into their very cells.

Because of that, there isn’t a coming deadline on their sexuality that their mother and I are working feverishly toward. I don’t believe there’s some magical expiration date approaching, by which time she and I need to somehow do, or say, or pray just the right things to get them to 'turn straight', or forever lose them to the other side.

They are today, simply a younger version of who they will be; and today they’re pretty darn great.

Many of you may be offended by all of this, I fully realize. I know this may be especially true if you are a religious person; one who finds the whole topic disgusting.

As you’ve been reading, you may have been rolling your eyes, or clicking the roof of your mouth, or drafting familiar Scriptures to send me, or praying for me to repent, or preparing to Unfriend me, or writing me off as a sinful, evil, Hell-bound heretic… but with as much gentleness and understanding as I can muster; I really couldn’t care less.

This isn’t about you. This is a whole lot bigger than you.

You’re not the one I waited on breathlessly for nine months.
You’re not the one I wept with joy for when you were born.
You’re not the one I bathed, and fed, and rocked to sleep through a hundred intimate, midnight snuggle sessions.

You’re not the one I taught to ride a bike, and whose scraped knee I kissed, and whose tiny, trembling hand I held, while getting stitches.
You’re not the one whose head I love to smell, and whose face lights-up when I come home at night, and whose laughter is like music to my weary soul.
You’re not the one who gives my days meaning and purpose, and who I adore more than I ever thought I could adore anything.
And you’re not the one who I’ll hopefully be with, when I take my last precious breaths on this planet; gratefully looking back on a lifetime of shared treasures, and resting in the knowledge that I loved you well.

If you’re a parent, I don’t know how you’ll respond if you find out your children are gay, but I pray you consider it.

One day, despite your perceptions of your kids or how you’ve parented, you may need to respond in real-time, to a frightened, frantic, hurting child; one whose sense of peace, and identity, and acceptance; whose very heart, may be placed in your hands in a way you never imagined… and you’ll need to respond.

If that day should ever come for me; if my children should ever come out to me, this is the Dad I hope I’ll be to them.

http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/read-what-christian-pastor-promises-do-if-his-children-are-gay270914

Naija pastors should take a cue from this pastor.
Happy Sunday nairalanders.enjoy ur Sunday service and preach more love instead of hate and war.peace

The world is surely coming to and end.

ananwune: The world is surely coming to and end.

It's all in ur my mind, dear.

Trust me in 200yrs the world will still be here.

beryl04:

It's all in ur my mind, dear.

Trust me in 200yrs the world will still be here.

lol
yhu wish... with the events occurring now
we are already in the End times ...

ikes9:
lol
yhu wish... with the events occurring now
we are already in the End times ...

What events are u talking about ?
That homosexuals are no longer condemned and despised or that witches are no longer burnt at d stake?
Please do tell,we're all here to learn...

It would be far easier for someone like this to convert me fully to a Christian than any of the so-called Christians that roam about Nairaland.


I'm so happy I read this.

ananwune: The world is surely coming to and end.

yea, and it's obviously starting from your home.

ikes9:
lol
yhu wish... with the events occurring now
we are already in the End times ...

What events?

Infact, what event can be greater than the Black Death of the past? yet the world didn't end. Na gay people go come end am.

masonkz: It would be far easier for someone like this to convert me fully to a Christian than any of the so-called Christians that roam about Nairaland.


I'm so happy I read this.

There will come a time when the Christian faith will be all-inclusive.it's starting to happen already in d west and tho Africa is slow ,she'll catch up in say, 100yrs.
The rate this African's are popping out gay kids who's to say that a generation will not come up sooner to demand their rights.it happened with d baby-boom of the 1920s and 30s America and soon people started demanding their rights ,of course,throw in education and enlightenment.
Change's gon' come my bro ,just not right now.too much rot in d system.

The pastor is definitely not well in the head. It is well established and in the bible, both old and new testaments that God detests homosexuality. Wonder how or why some people becomes Pastors.

The pastor is definitely not well in the head. It is well established and in the bible, both old and new testaments that God detests homosexuality. Wonder how or why some people becomes Pastors.

Imagine, saying God put the seeds of homosexuality in children when there were born.

ananwune: The world is surely coming to and end.

Story! Same thing was said in the 14th century (Black death Era), World War I & II, Mayan Calendar e.t.c and we are still living. No be today e start abeg!

lanrefront1: The pastor is definitely not well in the head. It is well established and in the bible, both old and new testaments that God detests homosexuality. Wonder how or why some people becomes Pastors.

Imagine, saying God put the seeds of homosexuality in children when there were born.

Same thing ur fore-fathers told d white men in 18th century, that their gods instructed them to kill children of multiple births.
Today ,d birth of twin children is celebrated with much fan-fare.thing is Africans like u are mentally too slow and it'll probably take ur grand-kids to see how Stu.pid u were and that's a fact.

lanrefront1: The pastor is definitely not well in the head. It is well established and in the bible, both old and new testaments that God detests homosexuality. Wonder how or why some people becomes Pastors.

Imagine, saying God put the seeds of homosexuality in children when there were born.

When is it going to dawn on u black iiidiots that this bible u guys hug and quote copiously was actually written by humans with flesh and blood like u gnnats?

The offsprings of the people that wrote the bible are even wiser now than swallow everything written in there hook, line and sinker! Wake up people.for how long are u iiidiots goin to be spoon fed?


Drop d bible for once ,go to school and do some research and find us a cure for ebola fooool!!!

Another humanist.
While the bible commands dealing in love with others,it also warns against being tempted.
And it never justifies sin.
Will this pastor read the back of the book where it says where his kids will end up?

beryl04:


When is it going to dawn on u black iiidiots that this bible u guys hug and quote copiously was actually written by humans with flesh and blood like u gnnats?

The offsprings of the people that wrote the bible are even wiser now than swallow everything written in there hook, line and sinker! Wake up people.for how long are u iiidiots goin to be spoon fed?


Drop d bible for once ,go to school and do some research and find us a cure for ebola fooool!!!

i laugh wen i read quotes like this.
Wiser now? If the world is wiser why is it even more confused than ever? Where is d wisdom in d world? Is it in smart weapons and tech we've made. They hav their good and bad, is it in 24 hour news tht is always bad?
Or the wars always raging somwhere?
Or the norm of marraige breakups , open infidelity,
unbridled greed,
youths swept into vice much earlier than b4? How is the world wiser than b4?

lanrefront1: The pastor is definitely not well in the head. It is well established and in the bible, both old and new testaments that God detests homosexuality. Wonder how or why some people becomes Pastors.

Imagine, saying God put the seeds of homosexuality in children when there were born.

sombody needs to teach som off these pastors sense.
He's substituted the bible standard for feelings.

asalimpo:

i laugh wen i read quotes like this.
Wiser now? If the world is wiser why is it even more confused than ever? Where is d wisdom in d world? Is it in smart weapons and tech we've made. They hav their good and bad, is it in 24 hour news tht is always bad?
Or the wars always raging somwhere?
Or the norm of marraige breakups , open infidelity,
unbridled greed,
youths swept into vice much earlier than b4? How is the world wiser than b4?

And even with all these happenings,how do u reconcile it with showing love to ur gay child if and when u have them?
Or do u believe that marriage equality or gay rights is d cause of all the problems u highlighted above?
Wudnt it be far better to be a humanist who treats all people regardless of gender,race,and sexual orientation with love and respect than being a hate-filled,bible or koran hugging bigot that wudnt hesitate to play God at the slightest sight of something he doesn't understand?

Listen mister man ,there's nothing u can teach that pastor above cos he has already proven by his words ,actions and convictions that he is a superior being than u !

A life without love is not a life worth living. U are obviously ignorant like the next African.