Your ex is not meant to lurk inside you, defying your
current partner’s sperm and waiting to break forth in
miniature form

If you were to spend time in a maternity ward listening to proud new parents, you’d definitely hear
them discussing their offspring’s genetic heritage. Does
the new baby have her eyes or his? Could that be
great Uncle Charlie’s nose? What you won’t often
witness is the father turning tenderly to the mother
and murmuring, “Hey, he looks just like Phil! You
know, your ex? With the motorbike, and sociopathic
tendencies?” But new research suggests that this
scenario is more plausible than it sounds.
It has been shown that newborns may resemble a
mother’s previous sexual partner, after scientists at the
University of South Wales observed an instance of
telegony – physical traits of previous sexual partners
being passed down to future children.
The researchers found that, for fruit flies, the size of
the offspring matched the size of the first male the
mother mated with – not its biological father. It is
thought that molecules of the semen produced by the
first partner might be absorbed by the mother’s
immature eggs.
“We don’t know yet whether this applies to other
species,” explains author of the study, Dr Angela
Crean. Too late, Dr Crean! I’m already working my
way through a mental Powerpoint presentation of my
exes and trying to work out whether I can travel back
in time with a box of Durex.
The idea of our unborn children resembling partners
past might initially fill us with horror, no matter how
amicably your relationship ended. Your ex is not
supposed to lurk inside you, waiting to burst forth in
miniature form. This idea is scarier than Alien.
I’m sure plenty of prospective mothers feel incredibly
guilty about the fact that they might be, unwittingly,
about to fill the world with children who blow their
nose on their sleeves, claim they have a moral
objection to booking restaurants, and pronounce the
eighth letter of the alphabet “haitch”.
However, if the hypothesis holds, it might not be
entirely bad news. Whether we like it or not, the
people we choose to date, and sleep with, reflect
something of ourselves. It’s easy to write off past
relationships in the same way we shudder at old
pictures in which you’re wearing embellished,
stonewashed denim. “Past me was such an idiot!” I
often think. “I’m much wiser now.” But we ought to
give our old selves more credit for doing what seemed
right at the time – or at least acknowledge the fact that
every decision which feels right now could seem just as
foolish in five years.
If your children do share some traits with your former
partners, it probably only shows the way that you
were previously nurtured affects their nature. You’re
human, and just as you’ll face difficult choices and
make mistakes after they’re born, the way you
behaved before they were born could impact on them
too. Essentially, you have to accept that your old
partners had admirable qualities which drew you to
them in the first place, and that you’d be happy to
pass them on to a child - or you have to admit that
your current partner might also have bad qualities,
and you’d be better off if you didn’t have children
with anyone.
Despite the fact there’s still no solid evidence that the
study applies to human reproduction, small children
and exes can be equally irritating. You might, sleep
deprived and frazzled, look at the freshly bathed
toddler who has just started to massage their scalp
with spaghetti hoops and think, “My ex used to make
me feel this weepy and panicky! This must be his
baby!” – when they don’t really have anything in
common, just that your former partner used to act like
a big baby and your infant child actually is one.
Ultimately, it’s down to you to teach your child to be a
responsible citizen and happy human being. You may
not have had the power to change your ex’s worst
habits, but if the theory of telegony is true, you can
find some satisfaction in taking control of the way
their descendants behave

Source: http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/oct/02/baby-looks-like-ex-research?CMP=fb_gu

ummm...wot sud i say

Very interesting. I wonder if this pertains to animals.

This ain't good for business

This is not funny

Hmmm nothing wey una no dey research
Absorbed sperm ni
Fermented akamu ko