THE DAY PALMWINE ALMOST KILLED ME!!!

I am teetotaller, and will always be one. OK!is pammy alcoholic? Well, that's for you to decide, but I remember the day I almost got killed because of palm wine , I was around 7 years old. We were living in a storey building, and my two brothers will always sit on the balcony's block most times, and they could almost bend to view what was going on downstairs. Which kid doesn't emulate such "wonderful" feat? But I was just few inches tall, a bench aided me anytime I wanted to do my own stunt, I made sure nobody was around, or else they will "kill joy". Ase, na die I wan dey so.
This beautiful evening on a weekday, I think a public holiday. I was all alone in the balcony. Downstairs is this man that repairs bicycles (God bless your good soul Baba repairer), and often times a palmwine tapper comes around for repairs of his rickety bicycle, of course he comes around with newly tapped wine. It seemed they were engaging in a lively argument at the other end of the floor, like two Ibo men, Baba repairer and this palm wine tapper. I was standing on the bench, with my tiny legs, trying to see who the Ibo men were, because that was my first time of hearing unfamiliar sounds at the stand. IN A FLASH (tell your neighbour "in a flash", the back of my knees scratched the end of the outer decking of the balcony and I was downstairs assuming a kneeling position. I was like they that dreamt dreams!!! The bench that acted as support had fallen off my knees of course, I had exceed the "peep limit", or how did you think I got downstairs! Gymnastics I tried getting up, but my knees were glued to the pavement, I couldn't believe, I mean I was this strong kid. The drunkards closer to me were not even aware, they were still arguing at the top of their croaked palmwine-drunken voices. A woman at the other house, Iya Wale was the one that called my name, she had seen me at the balcony few seconds ago, but now saw me downstairs. She missed the stunt, but she heard a sound, and saw a bird-like 7-year old kid that descended . It was her (or is it it was she? Na lautech I go, awa ogboyinbo o) that let out a scream of "egbami o o!ye!funmiloye".I was looking at her like kilo se iya Wale now? For I only needed few more attempts to get up and return from wherest cameth I . It was the noise that brought my mum, my sister, my brother, and my brother's friend that just came back from some journey and was gisting them at the inner backyard. The drunks were still arguing.
I couldn't even talk, and it was hard pulling me up, I was glued, I had defied a limit of gravitational pull and upthrust. I cannot recollect how many pails of water that got poured on me before the pavement Unglued me. I was piggybacked to a chemist (lordlead ,may God bless your departed soul ma'am), and she prescribed some drugs, but I was fine, and I got finer.


BUT MY SOCCERDREAMS GOT ABORTED....for years after, months before my J.S.S.C.E , I noticed constant pains on the knees after having trekked the normal school-home kilometers.


God's name is blessed that I didn't turn cripple. E for no funny o, because I can't sing, I for become funmo ayefele.