Emmysteve:
How you go dey mess for church Kon dey happy.

you never hear say some people dey look for mess to mess?abeg leave me jo

I kept N20 in offering box. Bow down your heads let's pray. In Jesus name .AMEN. Father forgive me!!!

witnessed a 1million naira donation..



broke ass niggaaz grmbling


i shall get there o

Superstar007:
My pastor asked how much I bought
my iphone6 . And I told him 25k
instead of 200k cos I didn't want him
to know I had that amount of money
on me.
Now he just gave me 50k to buy the same phone for himself and his wife.
Please, what should I do?

hehehehehhehehehehehe


you have buy market

Beehshorp:
our choir was superb toda so during gospel acclamation they sang "alleluia to the lord God ominipotent reigneth " then at the end
the preist was like " there is no word like ominipotent but omnipotent" and d congregation was like boo boo to the choir

damn! That was cruel!!!

farano:
Here's mine. Towards the end of the service, the man of God said 20 ladies should come out and receive special blessing. Mehn come see race for inside church . We were more than 100 that came out o. Then after the prayer, he told some ladies to go back to their seats and selected few of us. I started wondering, "what's this man up to"?

Sharply, He brought out books written by him and CDs produced by him and told us to go round the church and sell them You can't say no now after receiving blessing from him . We did just what he said. Chai! I almost stumbled in the church today...Which kind new style be this one?

lol

na only u waka for church o

farano:
Here's mine. Towards the end of the service, the man of God said 20 ladies should come out and receive special blessing. Mehn come see race for inside church . We were more than 100 that came out o. Then after the prayer, he told some ladies to go back to their seats and selected few of us. I started wondering, "what's this man up to"?

Sharply, He brought out books written by him and CDs produced by him and told us to go round the church and sell them You can't say no now after receiving blessing from him . We did just what he said. Chai! I almost stumbled in the church today...Which kind new style be this one?

im sure many were thinking to themselves, today na today God is going to bless me with a husband!

Look at them yabbing church and they call themselves christians! I pity una generation f00ls

D praise n worship ws lik a bday party....mak I pause here for nw

Where them sis like me wey they enter toilet time for offering cos them no sabi dance. Na so I wan enter toilet today during offering
But them lock all toilets today, come see me see dance
I never knew I could dance o

victorazy:
Look at them yabbing church and they call themselves christians! I pity una generation f00ls

Even Jesus cleansed d temple. Quit displaying ur ignorance

kolidave:
Hmmm. I never finish service. Make I finish service come back con comment. I dey come oooo,you hear Wait ooooo!!!! Modified... The interesting thing is they shared rice in my church today and I ate one with 2 meat..... no need to worry bout lunch. #DancingShoki

No vex Oº°˚˚°ºo. Buh shey nah cele u D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣ go?

The difference which was an experience to behold was a dress code that has a touch of green.It was colourful.I mean the ladies I use to admire in church almost arouse me with boobies dancing in their either white or green top.#celebratingnaija.

otijah:
today man of God vex say he will collect the offering in his palm so he can identify those with 10 and 20 naira offering, o boy u need to come see confusion for church, all those guys with 20 and 50 naira just dey confuse, cause e don tey wey d man dey complain about that kind of ofering to God. People just dey run outside as ofering time reach even me

Can't just stop laughing meehnn

otijah:
today man of God vex say he will collect the offering in his palm so he can identify those with 10 and 20 naira offering, o boy u need to come see confusion for church, all those guys with 20 and 50 naira just dey confuse, cause e don tey wey d man dey complain about that kind of ofering to God. People just dey run outside as ofering time reach even me

Can't just stop laughing meehnn wetin dy pursue u?

Hishuula:
I be Muslim sha....yesterday as we no get moni buy ram na only musoro (he-goat) we wan kill so the rope cut naso musoro take tear race o,all my friend wey neva see am con join us dey find am dem con dey ask say Shea na cow or na ram.to talk say na musoro na wahala so I just dey use anoda talk cover am and you know say to catch musoro hard pass how u go take catch cow self....I'm telling you till now MUSORO Neva come house o & since that yesterday our pot just dey stranded

Lols this got me laughing uncontrollably

[quote
author=MNDY post=26885825]This happens everyday in church! The pastor's
countenance is that type that hardly smiles and you find hard to
differentiate between whether he is angry or happy!

He usually bashes the tithe defaulters strongly whenever it is time!
Calling them cheats & thieves in an Igala phrase that is extreme and
very very derogatory - "Obala Degwu."

Hilarious in each occurence but very disrespectful! Some of the
defaulters take it lightly, others don't! He on the other hand is very
serious about it![/quote] Obala degwu je li, Lmao. No one should be cajole or force to pay tithe

spanzed:
why

I was exhausted from yesterday... At my Muslim friend's place.... Did stuff I ain't never done before... And then I was so tiiiiirrreeeedddd. And I woke up realllllllly late.....

Nwogbe:

Can't just stop laughing meehnn wetin dy pursue u?

o boy na 20 naira I hold.

Here's mine: As an Anglican member and a Choir Cross Bearer precisely. Congregation were standing as we were reading from the Liturgy "Order of Holy Communion" and I did the same. But I was just busy looking around instead of reading, without knowing that someone(our chief ursher) was watching me.....and demonstrating to me that I should be reading. Bt the reading part has ended bfor I could adjust. After the service, the next thing she did is calling for brief meeting with the youth....and my own case was part of the topics with other two phone seazed from the youth as well. I was just laughing as she was speaking.(with the fact that I know she's referring to me)

Hishuula:
I be Muslim sha....yesterday as we no get moni buy ram na only musoro (he-goat) we wan kill so the rope cut naso musoro take tear race o,all my friend wey neva see am con join us dey find am dem con dey ask say Shea na cow or na ram.to talk say na musoro na wahala so I just dey use anoda talk cover am and you know say to catch musoro hard pass how u go take catch cow self....I'm telling you till now MUSORO Neva come house o & since that yesterday our pot just dey stranded

Lolz @ "Stranded Pot"

Superstar007:
My pastor asked how much I bought
my iphone6 . And I told him 25k
instead of 200k cos I didn't want him
to know I had that amount of money
on me.
Now he just gave me 50k to buy the same phone for himself and his wife.
Please, what should I do?

Buy them China iPhone

kika23:

I was exhausted from yesterday... At my Muslim friend's place.... Did stuff I ain't never done before... And then I was so tiiiiirrreeeedddd. And I woke up realllllllly late.....

Ok but u no dats no excuse...u deserve strokes of the cane from ur pastor

Bobbysworld28:

Even Jesus cleansed d temple. Quit displaying ur ignorance

Wait make Jesus come clean u again f00lish lost sheep.

Bobbysworld28:


Area Mummy...... as in mum to Area Boys?

lmao, First thing that crossed my mind too.

The Strangest of happenings I've seen during a church service in my over twenty something years being in the house of God dis-graced my eyes today.

I left church with this embarrassment by people who call themselves Christians and a Pastor disobeying orders and teaching his members to do same.

In fact, until this pastor leaves this Church, I may not step in that church ever again.

Pffffft, I'm already pissed just by thinking about it.

[@Amuga] You may be Igala by tribe from your reference to the "Obala Degwu"! Is your "Amuga" the one Igalas bear?

victorazy:


Wait make Jesus come clean u again f00lish lost sheep.

C'mon, that's harsh. How do you know you're not lost also, do u think he'll realise his mistake with the way you're addressing him?

Three7Ty9:
The Strangest of happenings I've seen during a church service in my over twenty something years being in the house of God dis-graced my eyes today.

I left church with this embarrassment by people who call themselves Christians and a Pastor disobeying orders and teaching his members to do same.

In fact, until this pastor leaves this Church, I may not step in that church ever again.

Pffffft, I'm already pissed just by thinking about it.

What did he do cuz u can be the one wrong

Today service was one of the best talking about niga @ 54 all ages spoke key amongs others were 9ja @54 what is the way forward

darmochy1:

C'mon, that's harsh. How do you know you're not lost also, do u think he'll realise his mistake with the way you're addressing him?

Yee is true I was harsh on him.
I am not lost and can't be and if u can't see it then ur...... Sorry.

How can unbeliever throw a stone and so called christians will be bashing on pastors and chrches as if Bible never told us that "not all that calls me father! father are my sons."

krall:
Farano which church?

Wait let me remember




April, 2008
Pastor said all the single ladies come out to the altar for prayers...
Battalion of pretty and non pretty ones flooded like ants.
Then he said all the single men come out.... They also did..

All of them stood there gazing and "eyeing" one sister or the other and expecting a session of hot prayers to start, when the pastor looked.. and looked... and looked.... and out of anger said "infact, ushers ensure that no man here leaves without a woman!!!! also make sure every woman should select one man here and befriend!!!
How will we have fine women in this church and these men will still marry outside."

Commotion ensured and Two sisters in the choir ran and grabbed brother taiwo who previously gave a testimony of acquiring a brand new duplex in an estate in lekki...

End time Church bro.