Hi, I'm a newbie here and I'm looking for a marriage Counselor. I would prefer a counselor as opposed to a person with a religious affiliation. I just want a neutral party to talk to. Thanks in advance.

virgo2014:
Hi, I'm a newbie here and I'm looking for a marriage Counselor. I would prefer a counselor as opposed to a person with a religious affiliation. I just want a neutral party to talk to. Thanks in advance.

Online or Real life??

Online would be preferable but I'm open to either

virgo2014:
Online would be preferable but I'm open to either

Mail me.

My dear every Nigerian is a marriage councilor. Just throw your question out here.
You will read the good, the bad and the ugly. Trust me when you randomly pick the good ones each and apply it, it is as good as the one the marriage councilor would give.

Just try it. But since you are new on this forum, Do not write that your wife is staving you of sex or you will receive answers like
1. Sex na food?
2. Better give your life to christ
3. Divorce her
4. Are you sure you are man enough? Etc.

The best marriage counsellors are the couples involved in the marriages.
Everyone else. . . . Na BUSY BODY O!

*back to my sweeeeeet h-american work jare*

Hmmm...... how do I tell the person I'm with that although we've talked about forgiveness and moving on that I still find it hard to look the person in face or that their "I love you's" are quite meaningless now. I don't even believe that saying it back even means anything to them either.

Imagine going through your spouse's phone and seeing that his chat with coworker has gone above and beyond what a professional relationship should be. The coworker declaring her love for your spouse and his reply being "that's its the sweetest and nicest thing anyone has ever told me". In other words my declaration for love means nothing to him.

The whole genesis of our problem began when I got a FB message from an aggrieved spouse telling me to call my spouse to order because he has been having erotic chats with his wife (I bloody wish I was making this up). I followed up to make sure this wasn't a case of someone trying to put "sand in my garri" and well he told me what date the message was sent along with the time stamp on it. According to my spouse that chat was last year (he's not been consistent because he told me it was 2 years ago) either way we were still together back then.

Now I'm trying to be as logical as possible, why would the aggrieved spouse be angered by something that happened two years ago, if its not happening anymore you can just let sleeping dogs lie abi? If it happened as far back as 2012 when neither of us was married (checked his FB profile and saw his traditional marriage took place last Decemeber) why would the guy be so pissed off as to send a message not just to him but both of us (I hope u guys are following my logic here). Anyway the main issue here is that I'm now finding it hard to believe anything my spouse says.

As I said earlier we discussed and I really want to move forward and rebuild the relationship but I am finding it so difficult to do so. I just keep going back to his chat with his coworker and this incident. He apologized and assured me there was nothing going on with his coworker. He went as far as deleting her contact from his phone but they still get to see each other everyday at work and who knows what goes on there. I'm just torn and I want this to be truly behind us but how do I move on? I want to trust him again but its so hard to do