Mynd44:
Hmmmm.
Depends on how reasonable the adviser is. No matter how perfect your marriage is, you will need someone to talk to if not for advice, just to get stuff off your mind

sucezTP:


Hmmmm...Pls, give example of that "someone"!
Is it your mum, dad, mother-in-law, father-in-law, gf, bf,....?

Mynd44:

The factor here is how reasonable the person is. Hell it could a friend you are older than sef

JEITO:
Is this the "new hit"

Anyway back to the topic; sure we learn in marriage so external advice is important but the source matters.

For me, I won't advise young married couples to seek advice from their friends(those about the same age with them) on matters of how to handle marital challenges(especially early marriage crisis). It is better they seek advice from much older/religious couples.

That's a major reason why marriages have sponsors: as a sponsor your job is not to support the couple with money for their wedding, but to be a role model/mentor to them. They should be able to come to you for counsel anytime. Couples too shouldn't go for just anybody as sponsors! They should be people with successful marriages.

You can seek advice from your parents but not on every matter because there's this tendency of some parent to be biased in favour of their child in the marriage. Another reason why it may not be too good to always rely on your parent or family member for counsel is that your partner may begin to feel like there's a gang-up with ur family against him or her. This is not to say you shouldn't seek advise from your family members, because am sure most parent want the best for their children but the blood you carry usually have a way of favouring its own.

For me I'll advise couples to seek advice from their sponsor(or mentor couples), religious/spiritual heads(pastor and his wife or your imam and his wife), their parent/trusted family members, well respected older couple that they have close relationship with not just any old couple.

But all these should be after you have talked with your partner about the issues, and nothing positive seem to be coming out. And also after you have prayed over the matter and it is as though, nothing is changing before you take it outside: you must not be quick to take every matter that happens inside your house to the outside.

JEITO:
Is this the "new hit"

Anyway back to the topic; sure we learn in marriage so external advice is important but the source matters.

For me, I won't advise young married couples to seek advice from their friends(those about the same age with them) on matters of how to handle marital challenges(especially early marriage crisis). It is better they seek advice from much older/religious couples.

That's a major reason why marriages have sponsors: as a sponsor your job is not to support the couple with money for their wedding, but to be a role model/mentor to them. They should be able to come to you for counsel anytime. Couples too shouldn't go for just anybody as sponsors! They should be people with successful marriages.

You can seek advice from your parents but not on every matter because there's this tendency of some parent to be biased in favour of their child in the marriage. Another reason why it may not be too good to always rely on your parent or family member for counsel is that your partner may begin to feel like there's a gang-up with ur family against him or her. This is not to say you shouldn't seek advise from your family members, because am sure most parent want the best for their children but the blood you carry usually have a way of favouring its own.

For me I'll advise couples to seek advice from their sponsor(or mentor couples), religious/spiritual heads(pastor and his wife or your imam and his wife), their parent/trusted family members, well respected older couple that they have close relationship with not just any old couple.

But all these should be after you have talked with your partner about the issues, and nothing positive seem to be coming out. And also after you have prayed over the matter and it is as though, nothing is changing before you take it outside: you must not be quick to take every matter that happens inside your house to the outside.

sucezTP:


Ok then! In my own opinion, third party shouldn't be encouraged in a marriage, and if need be, let that person be your spouse.
Yea, there are times you will surely need someone to talk to, but any decision you make at that point can either make or destroy your marriage cos not everyone you think is reasonable is actually reasonable. Above all, God first!

Dygeasy:
Do you know there are times you'd wanna shoot that spouse of yours and the only thing you'd want to do then is just talk to someone to pour your heart to? You can't exclude a third party. It's nearly impossible. The person just has to be resonable.