Most people would like the idea of a one-sided open marriage. Where they are able and allowed to cheat but partner isn't allowed to.
That's true human nature.
We are both selfish and possessive.

EfemenaXY:

No relationship is absolutely stress free, be it marriage (monogamous / polygny), parent & child, siblings & siblings, employee vs employee, and even between friends. For every relationship we embark on, no matter the nature, the participants must put in the effort to make it work. Same goes for marriage. So if one feels it's stressful, then why get hitched in the first place? Especially for the guy?

Agreed. However, the stress level varies, and most times, it's dependent on the type of commitment. Also, getting hitched these days is more ceremonial than what the institution was created for, in the first place. Hence the spate in divorce rates. So, to keep the ceremonial status for the sake of the children, why not take away the primary reason why most marriages fall apart - infidelity?

Also, a lot of Nigerian families practise open-marriages without knowing it. There are tons of naija families I know with mums in the UK, and dads in Nigeria. They are technically still married, but haven't seen each other for more than a decade. And both parties are aware of the "shenanigans" happening. However, the "marriage" is still intact.

True. But just because some people find it difficult to control themselves, doesn't mean being able to keep their emotions / passions in check is an unachievable feat - even for the under 40's. There's a thread on here discussing about whether all married men cheat. There've been responses from those who don't that have spoken for themselves.

Honestly, you can't really judge based on the sanctimonious drivel a lot of dishonest folks spew on here, just to protect a fictitious image. The experience is the reality. If you're a guy, especially if you're a bit successful in what you do, women will also throw themselves at you. It comes with the territory. And it's a tad bit difficult to keep everyone at bay because women come in different shapes, and sizes - and you'd be tempted, even if it's just once. That's the reality out there.

Are you talking about your average West African / Nigerian married woman? Keeping multiple ss.exual partners even whilst married? Where would such a woman find the time to meet up with all of them and yet run her matrimonial home?

I think this is exaggerating things a bit. If you're referring to the video of some ladies claiming to keep 2, 3, or more boyfriends on the go...those were single ladies saying that, not married women o!

I messed around on here yesterday with a research link which asserted that: women tend to be more open to multiple se.xual partners than men. And another one shows that Nigerian women are the most promiscuous in the world. Far more promiscuous than Thai women. Bear in mind that Thailand is more or less Sodom and Gomorrah when it comes to se.x. Hence a lot British men love going there, and a lot have moved there. And even those who can't live there, always end up coming back with Thai wives.

Yes, we Africans/blacks are bit more conservative. However, that's just pretentiousness. And it doesn't negate the inconspicuous things we do behind closed doors. When you're observant, you'll see a lot of things

Someone must have hurt you really bad for you to state this. The little you've posted up ^^ speaks volumes. Having said that, it's part of life though, isn't it? No one's perfect and we all make mistakes. The important thing is to learn from them so as not to fall victim to them again. Now this is one way of looking at it, which is what I think you've done / are doing.

But you can't go through life expecting the worst. Yes, bad things do happen, but that doesn't mean everyone else outside of your family is a wolf in sheep's clothing. You've still got to take a chance on life. Being too (not sure of the right phrase to use here) "much in control" might make you just miss that other person that would have really complimented you...I think I'm digressing a bit. Re:the bolded part of your post sounds like an emotionally cold, cold way to a marriage. Marriage should be full of warmth and happiness. Yes, there'll always be ups and downs, but having someone you can comfortably trust your life with is just....indescribable. You're young. You've still got loads of time

Never say never

No one hurt me. I just somewhat grew up that way...and the environment also probably contributed to it. I have got a strong mentality, and when you're like that - you become addictive when you let people in too deep, due to the tenacity and wanting to go all the way in whatever you do. The gift and the curse. Basically, I noticed that early, and the way I create a balance is by not getting too involved with people, which is what trusting people is all about. Imperfection is human, and you can't just put yourself in a vulnerable position like that, especially when your temperament doesn't have the coping mechanism, to deal with an emotion that can become an addiction to you.

Anyway, there's always an exception to everything. However, at this stage of my life - based on my experience, knowledge of who I'm, my temperament, and interactions - putting my all into a fallible being, a mere mortal isn't one thing I'd want to risk. Blood/DNA relations are different because of the in-born connection, and that will always be more powerful than whatever flaws/imperfections they have got.

Now this bit, I don't get.

What's more important, the matrimonial home / bed, or you and your spouse's body? Shouldn't she belong completely to you and you her? Why do you find the idea of someone sharing her most sacred bits with you acceptable, but yet your home should be off limits?

The spouse's body belongs to her. And she has dominion over what she does with it. However, the matrimonial bed belongs to the two parties involved.

Open marriage can never work for me, I love too seriously for such.

I can't even imagine my partner with another woman behind my back, let alone being in the know about it, I can't take it cha cha.

An open marriage can only work in the real world if you don't give a toss about your woman.


Just imagine this:-

Wife- honey, I had it with with my boss today in his office, he's dikkk was longer and he handled me the way no man has ever done.

Husband- *landed her a thunderous slap..gbosaaa, forgetting they had an open marriage agreement*

Open marriage would be a nice idea .
The idea my husband watch me drill another dude b would be wonderful and vice versa.




























































GOD FORBID!!!!!

^^^Lol.....after you don make mouth finish see wetin you come write at the end ....na so you dey posessive reach?

lynpetra:
Open marriage would be a nice idea .
The idea my husband watch me drill another dude b would be wonderful and vice versa.




























































GOD FORBID!!!!!

I love you Lypetra. Please gimme a chance.

Open marriages work if there is communication amongst both partners.

You cheat, I cheat. No feelings and we both come back to each other and love each other as dearly.

The problem with open marriages is that people forget they're human. Feelings almost always develop.