freshdude2:

1. You sure bout that ma'am? I for one tend to avoid violence majorly because of reprisals. I'm apprehensive of grudge-holding people.

2. Well, that's not necessarily wrong. The thing is treat the disease not the symptoms. Here's what I mean:
Case One: Couple have an argument, it gets heated and before you know it, wife slaps hubby, hubby slaps wife. Note this is the first occurence of violence in the marriage. However, from that point on, during any heated argument hubby becomes first aggressor. He's tasted blood nd decides he likes it. What is to be done?
Case Two: Couple have arguments which always end in wifey tongue-lashing hubby. Hubby has endured this for years and in year four of marriage he has reached his endurance limit and as argument ensues wife goes about normal routine except hubby doesn't let her climax he ends it with a punch to her lips to stop "hurting" words coming from them. Again, what is to be done?
Case Three: Hubby is a psychopath, the only words he wants to hear from his wife are "yes and amen". Hubby makes a statement, wifey has a difference of opinion not rude, not discourteous. Hubby slaps/punches/head-butts/etc wifey. What is to be done?
Case Four: Hubby is a psychopath, the only words he wants to hear from his wife are "yes and amen". Hubby makes a statement, wifey has a difference of opinion rude/contentious/confrontational/etc. What is to be done?

I await.

Brother, I honestly do not know where you're going but please its never cool to beat a woman no matter the level of insult she hurl at you.

This is my opinion though.

bukatyne:


Who are the 'them '?

If you are curious for the answer, call the 'them' from their homes to answer

This is the third time as far as am aware that this thread is coming up. Before anybody can say anything 'they' will come and start yapping:
He's a beast
He's a bastard
Its not cool to hit a woman.


We know all these things. What we want to find out is why they do it because whether we like it or not they do it. Let's find the reason it is done even though we don't agree with it, then maybe we can find a solution. Shikena.

Talon05:

Brother, I honestly do not know where you're going but please its never cool to beat a woman no matter the level of insult she hurl at you.

This is my opinion though.

This is exactly what I'm talking about. You haven't answered his question bros. And with all due respect your statement is false. There are some situations when you want to beat the hell out of the woman. Some factors can be involved. What is it that drives a sane man over the edge to raise his hand against his woman and what can be done to prevent such situations?

No p @ Bukatyne

Talon05:

Brother, I honestly do not know where you're going but please its never cool to beat a woman no matter the level of insult she hurl at you.

This is my opinion though.

Congratulations on your opinion. But the question that requires answer that you are yet to provide is what is to be done in each of these situations. You are going to be married soon. Stop quoting textbook to me and give concrete practical answers. Otherwise, the sidelines will be a good spot for you.

Talon05:

Brother, I honestly do not know where you're going but please its never cool to beat a woman no matter the level of insult she hurl at you.

This is my opinion though.

Congratulations. And we are happy for your opinion. The question that requires answer is, what is to be done in each scenario. Stop quoting textbook for me and give practical answers.

xynerise:

. Get used to beating?

Abi nw. Nothing wey you talk go change a lady's heart. All she will keep glamouring na love. If that should be the case, she should just start learning to cope with it.

5minsmadness:
^^^^^@freshdude dem neva still answer u? Na to dey type anybody that does that is a beast, anybody that does that is an animal dem sabi.

hehehe. Let's see where this thread goes.

1. These re d kind dt d Bil scenario works real well. Or just wait till d next tym he ends d argument wit a slap n slap him wit a six inch heel. Infact even d old fashioned reaching for d pestle wil do. The aim of tackling these group is to remind dem that blood doesnt taste dt good wen is urs being tasted.

5minsmadness:

This is the third time as far as am aware that this thread is coming up. Before anybody can say anything 'they' will come and start yapping:
He's a beast
He's a bastard
Its not cool to hit a woman.


We know all these things. What we want to find out is why they do it because whether we like it or not they do it. Let's find the reason it is done even though we don't agree with it, then maybe we can find a solution. Shikena.

If you have a problem with they, Biko call them out for them to answer.

Don't quote a post directed at me to lash your them

Thanks

2. The nervous breakdown category re usually harmless after d deed if d right action is taken afterwards. If not they will do it again, if they feel they can get away with it. By all means do not keep this a private matter. Tell his parents n urs too. In fact during n after the beating shout n cry so hard that the neigbours hear. Be dramatic abt it, if u can do d 'u wil kill me today' thing best. When asked wat brought abt d red or black eye by neigbours, colleagues friends esp his do not tell a silly lie, say exactly hw u got it.
Go to d hospital for treatment, d hosp u guys use oo, even if d bruises or pain can be managed at home. U musnt do al these, just a few that will tell mutual acquaintances hw he 'heads' d family.
D aim is to shame them into never repeating it. B4 u guys finally reconcile, u guys shld visit ur counsellor at d church for therapy on how to xpress his hurt feelings n d woman shld better bridle her tongue.
If after all these he breaks down n beats u up a second time. U hd better leave, d third is usually fatal.

freshdude2:
Congratulations. And we are happy for your opinion. The question that requires answer is, what is to be done in each scenario. Stop quoting textbook for me and give practical answers.

Only cowards beats women, it's no suprise you're one, sisi.

Shirley07:

Only cowards beats women, it's no suprise you're one, sisi.

Congratulations non your new found insight on my person. And it's sissy not sisi but, you already knew that didn't you?

bukatyne:


Just seeing this; will respond when I get home

Hi, not home yet?

freshdude2:
Congratulations non your new found insight on my person. And it's sissy not sisi but, you already knew that didn't you?

Whatever. Just come of the closet and stop stinking the place with your double life.

freshdude2:
Congratulations non your new found insight on my person. And it's sissy not sisi but, you already knew that didn't you?

Whatever. Just come out of the closet and stop stinking the place with your double life.

bukatyne:


If you have a problem with they, Biko call them out for them to answer.

Don't quote a post directed at me to lash your them

Thanks

U r creating a mountain out of a mole hill.
U asked me a question. I quoted u in reply.
I'm not looking for quarrel.
I'm not lashing out at anyone.
I just feel its high time we discussed the matter instead of quoting 'textbook replies' like freshdude rightly said.

Nawaoooo the op asked " a physically abusive person" and not a husband. Anybody can be physically abusive be it male, female, husband, wife, brother, sister, father or mother. Lot's of women abuse their housemaids, that strong elder brother that beats up the younger sister at any slightest provocation can he really change?

3. For The 3rd category. The woman shld just leave. No one shld really co-habit wit a psycopath.

@freshdude n 5minmadness i bliv ur Q has been ansad. Can i nw go ahead n say dt any man hu beats his wife on acct of her tongue is just a weak insecure man who assures himself of his manhood by beating up his wife. No matter d category u try to place him under.

Chomzy19:
3. For The 3rd category. The woman shld just leave. No one shld really co-habit wit a psycopath.

@freshdude n 5minmadness i bliv ur Q has been ansad. Can i nw go ahead n say dt any man hu beats his wife on acct of her tongue is just a weak insecure man who assures himself of his manhood by beating up his wife. No matter d category u try to place him under.

The basic facts still remains that the wife or ladies should understand the temperament of his man and not go all out to abuse him with her caustic words or nagging abilities

Because she believes that he will not raise up his hands to beat her



Because have seen cases where a very loving husband got annoyed and did slap his wife because she believes he will not beat me and I will explore this situation to mah advantage



You have to understand him and know when to stop and when the man has had it up to his limit

Everyone has limit and no woman should exploit that

Shirley07:

Whatever. Just come of the closet and stop stinking the place with your double life.

Intellectual and pragmatic discourse is always welcome. Your limited mind is already stinking up the thread. Feel free to watch from the sidelines. You don't have to comment on every thread.

dre11:



The basic facts still remains that the wife or ladies should understand the temperament of his man and not go all out to abuse him with her caustic words or nagging abilities

Because she believes that he will not raise up his hands to beat her



Because have seen cases where a very loving husband got annoyed and did slap his wife because she believes he will not beat me and I will explore this situation to mah advantage



You have to understand him and know when to stop and when the man has had it up to his limit

Everyone has limit and no woman should exploit that

True words. However if in an argument i feel its too much. I stop talkin n step out. I dont start slapping them. I think men shld learn that too.

freshdude2:
Intellectual and pragmatic discourse is always welcome. You're limited mind is already stinking up the thread. Feel free to watch from the sidelines. You don't have to comment on every thread.

Leave me alone and embrace your gay side, I'm not your nemesis.

Chomzy19:
True words. However if in an argument i feel its too much. I stop talkin n step out. I dont start slapping them. I think men shld learn that too.

It's easier said than done.. .....
We have different orientation to all things


What some guys will back down from.. ... Some wouldn't
What some will just look at a move away.. ... Some wouldn't

It's not that those guys are bad.. .... It's because that what they have known to be the norm and grow up with





Best bet is for the lady to make her points know, push the button but don't take it too far, don't push him to the walls because he can react and his reaction could explode

Shirley07:

Leave me alone and embrace your gay side, I'm not your nemesis.

Shirley, you need help. You're incoherent, babbling and mumbling to yourself, boxing the wind, hallucinating. This is either a nervous breakdown or the beginnings of insanity. Either way you need tests and, please, get a shrink.

Anyone who hits the other person in a bid to assert their position or any weird reason they do so is just a weak and silly person

If you feel your position is being threatened, the best and viable solution is to walk away as long as you are not been held down...

There is no excuse for physical abuse cuz the abuser usually knows what they are doing and no matter how much they claim to have changed, the signs are always there and it will manifest sometimes when their insecurity cannot be buried.....

It's very possible, but the abuser must be willing to change their violent behaviours. Behaviours are learned, and can be unlearned.

I though this is contrary to popular opinion, but it's the truth.

Heck yeah!
When he or she meets a more ABUSIVE terror!

Yes, a physically abusive person can change depending on what made such a person become physically abusive in the first place. I'm going to use husbands here as my example since it seems the thread is favouring that direction.


SCENARIO 1.
Some men do not enter marriage with the mind of beating their wives. However as marriage progresses and stress piles up, they become irritable and sometimes frustrated. They realise that they are no longer in control of situations as much as they were before marriage. They feel restricted and the burden of being responsible to the family and society as a married man bears down on them. Such men, if they cannot handle this stress, become perpetually angry and lash out at the slightest inclination.

The situation above is further compounded when such a man marries a quarrelous wife. Coming home from a hard day at the office only to meet a ferocious tiger of a woman who will tell him he is not up to his mates because he does not have a new car, he should stop squeezing his face and provide 'chop money' for the house, he should find money to give her to buy that new high heeled shoe that costs n70k, his mother is the one disturbing them because she is a witch etc etc, will further depress his psyche and make him want to lash out. Some men might 'walk away' at this point with the woman screaming behind his back that 'he is not a man'. But some other men would have had enough at this point. He might scream at her to shut up but she'll simply scream back that he should make her shut up. The tirade will continue until the man gets physical and slaps her. Suddenly he is a physically abusive husband. Nobody wants to know how it came about that he slapped his wife, all they know is that he is physically abusive because all men are potentially physically abusive.





Solution: He should talk to his wife. Let her know the way she talks to him vexes him. Explain to her how she can pass her message across without being verbally abusive.
He should also learn to control his temper. Realise his wife is prone to being verbally abusive and let her know when she starts using hurtful words.
Both couples should realise they are facing the challenges of life together. It is neither of them's fault that they are going through these challenges. A united front will make the challenges easier to overcome.
Communication is the key. Sometimes people misunderstand what other people mean when they use certain words. A colleague of mine says 'don't be silly!' to almost everybody at the office. He means it as a joke but a new person might take it the wrong way. Communicating with and understanding your partner leads to less friction between you two.

freshdude2:

1. You sure bout that ma'am? I for one tend to avoid violence majorly because of reprisals. I'm apprehensive of grudge-holding people.

2. Well, that's not necessarily wrong. The thing is treat the disease not the symptoms. Here's what I mean:
Case One: Couple have an argument, it gets heated and before you know it, wife slaps hubby, hubby slaps wife. Note this is the first occurence of violence in the marriage. However, from that point on, during any heated argument hubby becomes first aggressor. He's tasted blood nd decides he likes it. What is to be done?
Case Two: Couple have arguments which always end in wifey tongue-lashing hubby. Hubby has endured this for years and in year four of marriage he has reached his endurance limit and as argument ensues wife goes about normal routine except hubby doesn't let her climax he ends it with a punch to her lips to stop "hurting" words coming from them. Again, what is to be done?
Case Three: Hubby is a psychopath, the only words he wants to hear from his wife are "yes and amen". Hubby makes a statement, wifey has a difference of opinion not rude, not discourteous. Hubby slaps/punches/head-butts/etc wifey. What is to be done?
Case Four: Hubby is a psychopath, the only words he wants to hear from his wife are "yes and amen". Hubby makes a statement, wifey has a difference of opinion rude/contentious/confrontational/etc. What is to be done?

I await.

Case 1: It shows the husband has not forgiven the wife or/and always had the streak of violence in him. The man is still a violent person in my books and should be treated as an abusive spouse. I will say separation till the husband changes

Case 2: The husband's punch was a result of accumulated hurt and I can relate with him. I really see no problem in this because the wife will probably stop lashing hubby. They both apologize and the wife learn the lesson that hurting hubby with her mouth has consequences

Case 3: Separation till the husband changes

Case 4: Same as case 3. Saying the husband is a psychopath means it does not matter if the wife is rude or not

@5minsmadness, what if this approach doesn't yield the desired result?

5minsmadness:

U r creating a mountain out of a mole hill.
U asked me a question. I quoted u in reply.
I'm not looking for quarrel.
I'm not lashing out at anyone.
I just feel its high time we discussed the matter instead of quoting 'textbook replies' like freshdude rightly said.

You should have started from the bolded

I am looking for quarrel either. I did not even know he/she was missing

freshdude2:
Hi, not home yet?

Got home around 6:50pm, made dinner for my baby.

Did not respond because there was no light and I will have to use my phone which I was avoiding initially