I Will Never Go To Church Late Again!!!! :-\ - Jokes Etc - Nairaland
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| I Will Never Go To Church Late Again!!!! :-\ by Fabdedon(m): 2:56pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
8:38 Pm saturday **IF a China phone alarm doesnt wake you up then you must be dead** ewoooh that person must be truely dead mah try am sha....lol.. . . Arrrrrhhhh gosh.... 7:45am shit!!!! Which time i go take reach church now eh..? Hope say that my clothe don dry..? I think say i put alarm self...?Where that china phone self? ...choi Truely am dead... . . Mah waka fast joor before church go close at least my show body for there.... . Few meters to the church i heard... Priest: May the peace of the lord be with yoooou... Ewoooohhh watin i go do now oooo * mah form say i go church say i just de come back make i just brance one shop so if people pass i follow suit? * let me just go for the second mass with my church mind... * mah turn back will come back for evening mass...hmmm. All this toughts were just going on through my mind ..until i heard the melodious beat coming form one angle of that street.. Menh i was touched...up till tomorow i dont know how i found my self inside the church but i noticed my self dancing Azonto towards the church ...... ***This where the whole trouble started**** menh today nah today!!!...you need to see me dancing different dance step didnt even knew when i shouted... '' church kelele..you dey feel am eh...Ngozi e show...? While dancing as a quiet observer i noticed three things and am sure would get the answer today... 1... Why is it that if girls want to dance the only part they tend to move haphazardically is thier back side...eh..? Is that part of the body used for dancing? Seriously its distracting.. Somepeople are not able to focus nah... . . 2... The choir sang..... my hands are blessed........any one i touch... as i was about to start touching nah.. I noticed people started touching theirself first? Seriously i was totaly confused... people can be greedy eh... . . 3 the choristers voice was so nice that i was about reaching an attained frequency to connect with the wave directing towards the glory of God...i noticed there was something repeling me.. Habah.. Whats that?.. i tried listening close i heard the chorister singing with phonetics... **Email her ooo..email her....email her oooooo...Jehova email her... Ayinekene Gymnastics email her ooo email her.... How on earth do you want me to connect with God choi...eh.. . ............Fast Forwards................. Pastor : Any new custormer...sorry Any new Member.. Me..: if i stand up eh..make Buhari win 2015 election Pastor: Any new member here...!!!! .....I for no stand up ooo..... Just the eyes wea people pour for my body i just realise say truely the Lord is bigger than all my problems.. .....i stood up...... Pastor: this one you are reluctant to come out hope the devil is not using you to manifest and stain the ministry... Me:ahhh Pastor how can i.. Pastor: who knows we must be ready at all times... Recieve it brrrruuuuuuhhhhh . . Immediatly i realised its not actually the brrruuuuh(mouth wind) that carries the anointing..its the MOUTH ODUR.. Pastor: you sturborn spirit i command you out...!!!!! ... I just turn look the usher..watin he want mah do nah, i no sturborn... As i just dey kpese...the next thing i heard was.. Get me the HOLY CAIN...... What have i done to humanity?...different toughts just enter my mind... +Watin carry me enter this church? +Why i come late? +How come that china phone no wake me up? +Am i possesed truely possesed? +The cain go dey big,short,long,thin? +What actually brought me here..? + Why no wait for the second mass? +I for even go back self...!! As i wan think the last one.. + How i go take escape..nah im i recieve one tremendous stroke wea fit make a strong bad man Loyal... Thats when i found out that Truely his the master planner... . .Ssslakatahh...another stroke.... Me: Ramakatanumistrenobis...(i never knew i was talented in speaking in tongues) ..By that time tears don de form for my eyes...nah im i remember say i don collect like 4 girls number when i dey dance so i need to baf up.. The big boy in me came back... Pastor : I say recieve it... Zlaaaataaaah Me:Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?"why has thou forsaken me...!!!! . . Even till now i dont know i left the church premises but what i can remember is that i was waving saying '' Thank you Jesus ...thank you Jesus....'' . . When i came home i went to a near by store to buy some things the next thing i saw a girl walking up to me... Girl: Brother Paschal, i hope you enjoyed today's service... I was like... Me: The thunder that will Fire you and that you church has definately seen Matches.... . . . Happy sunday peepz ..wishing you a nice week ahead...!!!! 6 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: I Will Never Go To Church Late Again!!!! :-\ by Kylekent59: 3:42pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
Dnt use the church as a joke. It is a holy place |
| Re: I Will Never Go To Church Late Again!!!! :-\ by absky5(m): 4:10pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
Lwkmd oooo....op u made my noon 1 Like |
| Re: I Will Never Go To Church Late Again!!!! :-\ by Fabdedon(m): 5:34pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
Kylekent59:owk thanks will not do it again.. |
| Re: I Will Never Go To Church Late Again!!!! :-\ by mesoade(m): 7:16pm On Nov 16, 2014 |
You got me cracking . . Esp. "email her ooo" 2 Likes |
| Re: I Will Never Go To Church Late Again!!!! :-\ by tugo(f): 3:11pm On Nov 17, 2014 |
[color=#990000][/color]LolzzzzzZzzzzzz lovely. |
| Re: I Will Never Go To Church Late Again!!!! :-\ by Nobody: 4:07pm On Nov 17, 2014 |
;DHahahahahahaahahahahahahha... ;DHahahahahahaahahahahahahha.haha. |
| Re: I Will Never Go To Church Late Again!!!! :-\ by Shoboloyok(m): 4:41pm On Nov 17, 2014 |
| Re: I Will Never Go To Church Late Again!!!! :-\ by Fabdedon(m): 7:04pm On Nov 17, 2014 |
Shoboloyok:thanks the site terms and conditions are too strict..my post fall victim of some tho... E hard pass Jamb Gan 1 Like |
| Re: I Will Never Go To Church Late Again!!!! :-\ by Shoboloyok(m): 9:32pm On Nov 20, 2014 |
Fabdedon: |
| Re: I Will Never Go To Church Late Again!!!! :-\ by Shoboloyok(m): 9:32pm On Nov 20, 2014 |
Fabdedon: Lol |
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