Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. - Literature (4)

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Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. - Literature (4) - Nairaland

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Nairaland Poetry Club (Launch Thread) (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by noble4d(m): 6:07pm On Nov 24, 2014

laykorn:
Let's start from the first stanza.

Your hand is heavy, Night, upon my brow,
I bear no heart mercuric like the clouds, to dare
Exacerbation from your subtle plough.

Ayamlaykorn

Your hand is heavy, Night, upon my brow,

The poet admit he does not possess the power to control the night.

I bear no heart mercuric like the clouds, to dare
Exacerbation from your subtle plough

The poet emphasize on the envious attitude of night towards the day. The poet sees himself as a victim of the night. The period when evil plans are carried out.

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by noble4d(m): 6:08pm On Nov 24, 2014

noble4d:

Your hand is heavy, Night, upon my brow,

The poet admit he does not possess the power to control the night.

I bear no heart mercuric like the clouds, to dare
Exacerbation from your subtle plough

The poet emphasize on the envious attitude of night towards the day. The poet sees himself as a victim of the night. The period when evil plans are carried out.

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by venivedivici(m): 6:33pm On Nov 24, 2014

Oahray:
I have no idea why he even used 'fluorescent' as a noun.

The first line is vague to me. I think the other lines points to the dying of the light, and thus no reflection by the waves of the not-so-calm sea. It sounds like a sailor's point of view. But I doubt it. Might just be a complicated metaphor.

Ordinarily, the sea shimmers in the moonlight, unless the clouds are covering it. That makes sense in the light of the first stanza, where the clouds do not feel sleepy and retire for the day.

He could have used fluorescent as a substitute noun for light. I.e. Fluorescent lamp or bulb, to connote the reflection of sunlight on the sea.

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by Dklef(m): 6:37pm On Nov 24, 2014

Abiolainfo:

Is this a poet or a rap rhyme Adonbelieveit

smh

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by Abiolainfo: 6:40pm On Nov 24, 2014

Dklef:
smoke my hemp

It's hightime you stop taking hard drugs tongue

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by Pdizzle(m): 6:45pm On Nov 24, 2014

Good evening, o ye poets

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by venivedivici(m): 6:45pm On Nov 24, 2014

Also, I see you guys have thrashed the first stanza as regards theme, but we shouldn't overlook the poetic devices too.

"your hand is heavy" contains two of these: first, alliteration, which is a successive use of consonant sounds in a line of poetry (/h/); as well as personification, which is the attribution of human qualities to abstract or inanimate entities, as seen in "your hand is heavy, Night"

2 Likes

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by Dklef(m): 6:47pm On Nov 24, 2014

lool.. wats apenin here

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by ayozainy(f): 7:17pm On Nov 24, 2014

Oahray:
Ayozainy, I see you

Oahray:
Ayozainy, I see you

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by Nihilist: 7:23pm On Nov 24, 2014

laykorn:
Woman as a clam, on the sea's crescent

Ayamlaykorn

The Clam is a kind of shellfish that sits half-buried in the sand of the seashore, opening up its shell to allow prospective prey enter it and springing shut to trap and consume it's food

I believe that the sea's crescent refers to the shoreline where clams are often found especially at low tide. And Wole is trying to paint a picture of the sea at night where the night sky cannot be distinguished from the sea in the horizon. So that the night can be said to 'sit' on the shoreline similar to the clam

I saw your jealous eye quench the sea's Fluorescence, dance on the pulse incessant

The clam opens and shuts(just like an eye) to trap and consume food. Except the night falls(shuts) to consume any form of light bouncing off the waves of the sea. Also as the clams move(or dance) with the ebb and flow of the waves of the sea, so also does the night 'dance' on the moving waters.

I have no idea why he decided to give the night a feminine character, though it might be linked more to the marine references and the tropes of the feminine water goddess

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by OMA4U(m): 7:25pm On Nov 24, 2014

Stepsse:
the mercuric lik the cloud means he is not as brave as the cloud that can stand any night or cold....he's simply trying to personify the cloud there

Very correct!

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by OMA4U(m): 7:27pm On Nov 24, 2014

JigsawKillah:
This Man's words sha
I better start getting my vocabs up

A poet needs to be armed with literary dictions. word is our arrow.

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by OMA4U(m): 7:28pm On Nov 24, 2014

noble4d:

Your hand is heavy, Night, upon my brow,

The poet admit he does not possess the power to control the night.

I bear no heart mercuric like the clouds, to dare
Exacerbation from your subtle plough

The poet emphasize on the envious attitude of night towards the day. The poet sees himself as a victim of the night. The period when evil plans are carried out.

Confirm! Are we learning?

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by EverestdeBliu(m): 7:37pm On Nov 24, 2014

Dawinlove:
love or lost
I missed my first love
*I missed the way I was scared to speak to her
*Is it to hug or kiss,my thousands fear
*I missed my favourite words-is it I love you or?
*I missed my feelings
*I missed my heart
*Fainting Home alone cos I wanna see you
*I missed how I treat you
*How we made love
*How we spoke with each others
*I missed my emotions
*I missed the tears I shed
*I missed the promise I made--Is it to marry you or
never to leave you
*I remember the day I saw you
*Just with another man
*I remember all the promises and tears
*This make me ask the question
*Is it lost or love?

Nice scribble but I guess u meant 'lust' @ d last line "is it lost(lust) or love'

1 Like

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by OMA4U(m): 7:38pm On Nov 24, 2014

Who noticed the intertwined lines between stanza two and three? And the direct use of enjambment.

Read stanza two without break to three.

I saw your jealous eye quench the sea's/florescent, dance on the pulse incessant/Of the waves. (observe this full stop). And I stood, drained/Submitting like the Sands, blood, and brine/coursing to the roots. (another full stop) Night, you rained...... Continues to the next stanza.

This is brilliant use of enjambment. Stanza two to four are meant to be read straight, to aid the flow.

2 Likes

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by Nihilist: 7:44pm On Nov 24, 2014

OMA4U:
Who noticed the intertwined lines between stanza two and three? And the direct use of enjambment.

Read stanza two without break to three.

I saw your jealous eye quench the sea's/florescent, dance on the pulse incessant/Of the waves. (observe this full stop). And I stood, drained/Submitting like the Sands, blood, and brine/coursing to the roots. (another full stop) Night, you rained...... Continues to the next stanza.

This is brilliant use of enjambment. Stanza two to four are meant to be read straight, to aid the flow.

Wow that's a really good observation. Highlighting his use of enjambment also highlights the complexity of this verse.

There's some pretty heavy imagery in those stanzas

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by Stepsse(m): 7:47pm On Nov 24, 2014

OMA4U:

Very correct!

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by kid7soccer(m): 11:22pm On Nov 24, 2014

Crack sounds, great light luminate the clouds as hail falls from the sky. I can hear the roar of thunder like a great beast on rampage seeking for it prey, dirt dances in the air from one end to the other. The wops and waps of the wind forces the trees to dance to a systematic rhythm only known to their hearing as the grasses wave their leaves in vain directions. As water falls from the sky, shooting stars appears on the ground. Hash and rush from all conners as people try to save themselves from the brutal surge of the rain. Can this ever stop, the firm of trees are falling, the hardest of rocks are cracked open. What will become of us when the flood is gone, no one knowns, we are all in a wait till the hazard of the flood ends.

wat do u guys tink about this

1 Like

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by OMA4U(m): 11:44pm On Nov 24, 2014

kid7soccer:
Crack sounds, great light luminate the clouds as hail falls from the sky. I can hear the roar of thunder like a great beast on rampage seeking for it prey, dirt dances in the air from one end to the other. The wops and waps of the wind forces the trees to dance to a systematic rhythm only known to their hearing as the grasses wave their leaves in vain directions. As water falls from the sky, shooting stars appears on the ground. Hash and rush from all conners as people try to save themselves from the brutal surge of the rain. Can this ever stop, the firm of trees are falling, the hardest of rocks are cracked open. What will become of us when the flood is gone, no one knowns, we are all in a wait till the hazard of the flood ends.

wat do u guys tink about this

Prose or Poetry? Nice one whichever way!

1 Like

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by Nobody: 12:28am On Nov 25, 2014

I guess this is the club laykorn...i hope i'm welcomed.

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by Lightmark(m): 1:20am On Nov 25, 2014

TheBeginning:

I really want to be part of this club. Really!

am poet and want be here

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by Lightmark(m): 1:34am On Nov 25, 2014

Poetic Highness

Burning and shinning with magical wisdom
mind dances in the midst of wild thoughts
imaginations; my dearest friend
Erotically; aroma of destiny
it's no new news that my muse amuses their
muses.

Sounds of great victory
still my source of inspiration
seeking seeds of wisdom
my scrolls contains secrets to future sciences
Get insane with as my pen rewrites history
Zeus bows to the voices of my heart

Heart hovering around sacred poetry
conflicting ideas; my only crisis
Generations yet unborn gets inspiration from this
living inscriptions.
Sing to me of me,
my heart imperishable.

2 Likes

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by Seempliehuman(m): 1:35am On Nov 25, 2014

how do I join?

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by Nobody: 6:44am On Nov 25, 2014

Jennimma:
I guess this is the club laykorn...i hope i'm welcomed.

We're honoured to have you here Jennimma. Please send a WhatsApp message to this number to be added to the club group on WhatsApp. 08039594156
This is the assignment and timetable thread.
www.nairaland.com/2013247/nairaland-poetry-club-assignments-week-1
Please your suggestions are really appreciated and needed too. We're still in a planning phase.
Ayamlaykorn

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by Nobody: 6:47am On Nov 25, 2014

Lightmark:

am poet and want be here

Seempliehuman
Lightmark
Please send a message to this number to have on you the WhatsApp group. 08039594156 This is the assignment and timetable thread. Your suggestions are welcome and needed too. We are still in a planning phase. www.nairaland.com/2013247/nairaland-poetry-
club-assignments-week-1

Ayamlaykorn

1 Like

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by Nobody: 6:54am On Nov 25, 2014

For Week 1,this is the assignment and timetable thread.
All discussions remain in the chatroom.www.nairaland.com/2013247/nairaland-poetry-
club-assignments-week-1
Thanks
Ayamlaykorn

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by Nobody: 7:13am On Nov 25, 2014

laykorn:

We're honoured to have you here Jennimma. Please send a WhatsApp message to this number to be added to the club group on WhatsApp. 08039594156
This is the assignment and timetable thread.
www.nairaland.com/2013247/nairaland-poetry-club-assignments-week-1
Please your suggestions are really appreciated and needed too. We're still in a planning phase.
Ayamlaykorn

alright.

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by OMA4U(m): 8:25am On Nov 25, 2014

Lightmark:
Poetic Highness

Burning and shinning with magical wisdom
mind dances in the midst of wild thoughts
imaginations; my dearest friend
Erotically; aroma of destiny
it's no new news that my muse amuses their
muses.

Sounds of great victory
still my source of inspiration
seeking seeds of wisdom
my scrolls contains secrets to future sciences
Get insane with as my pen rewrites history
Zeus bows to the voices of my heart

Heart hovering around sacred poetry
conflicting ideas; my only crisis
Generations yet unborn gets inspiration from this
living inscriptions.
Sing to me of me,
my heart imperishable.

Wow! Wow!

1 Like

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by donifez(m): 3:38pm On Nov 25, 2014

SMOKY LINES

Get me a foil or paper... for i wanna set the cloud ablaze,
call me a convicted criminal...but i still leave my spectators dazed,
your neglection..my inspiration..how funny life can be,
with one puff...i come alive like am stung by a bee.

Some say am a sinner...are you a saint,
with blood on your hands...looking for whom to paint,
cast all your sins on me...so the lord said,
so i puff my sins to him..watching it sail.

Pharisees ye are,Poking me with a force,
you cast a dice for me..watching it toss,
yet your crime assails mine..who is at a loss,
puff with me and be at peace...feel like a boss.

This poem is dedicated to all nairaland poets..

3 Likes

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by ayozainy(f): 6:53pm On Nov 25, 2014

I NEED JUSTICE
***************
The joy of who I am
has taken its toll on me
my humanity abused
my innocence shredded
*********************
My unclothedness is put to shame
***********************
an injury on my person
my pants is a flag
modesty, virtue, humility
Where did you go?
*******************
I walk, bow, in shame
********************
Pity has fled for good
inspite of who i am
the sorcey knife
has pierced my frail heart
**********************
My soul is bleeding
******************
My one and only
We danced and sang
Had I known?
I would have fled
****************
Come to my rescue
*****************
I have lost my way
My compass is faulty
A dark forest i walk
My eyes see no light
******************
I need direction
*******************
The pain within me
Makes me a living - dead
It just dawned on me
I have lost it
*******************
It is gone for good
*********★********
I need a gun, a matchete
Where will I get it?
I need it fast
To kill this bloody beast
********************
I have had enough
*******************
It is time to light,
my candle in the dark
for I see no more
than darkness in me
*******************
Sun, Moon , shine
********************
My only companions
Shine all together
Make this planker blind
but show me my way
********************
Make Him dance
*****************
The mad dance
For he must dance
The dance of the beast
The bloody beast unclad
*****★****************
He must pay
My gun is loaded
I fear no one
for I am water and fire
*********************
Clear the way, I am coming
*********************★
My heart beat so fast
I have lost the strength,
to move further
I need justice
****************
Does justice exist?
****************
Who is the judge?
to precide my case
I need no one
for I am my judge
***★***********
Justice must prevail
******************
Give me what I want
Justice alone I seek
for my heart to be free
so I rest in peace.
*******************

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by donifez(m): 6:58pm On Nov 25, 2014

ayozainy:
I NEED JUSTICE
***************
The joy of who I am
has taken its toll on me
my humanity abused
my innocence shredded
*********************
My unclothedness is put to shame
***********************
an injury on my person
my pants is a flag
modesty, virtue, humility
Where did you go?
*******************
I walk, bow, in shame
********************
Pity has fled for good
inspite of who i am
the sorcey knife
has pierced my frail heart
**********************
My soul is bleeding
******************
My one and only
We danced and sang
Had I known?
I would have fled
****************
Come to my rescue
*****************
I have lost my way
My compass is faulty
A dark forest i walk
My eyes see no light
******************
I need direction
*******************
The pain within me
Makes me a living - dead
It just dawned on me
I have lost it
*******************
It is gone for good
*********★********
I need a gun, a matchete
Where will I get it?
I need it fast
To kill this bloody beast
********************
I have had enough
*******************
It is time to light,
my candle in the dark
for I see no more
than darkness in me
*******************
Sun, Moon , shine
********************
My only companions
Shine all together
Make this planker blind
but show me my way
********************
Make Him dance, (the mad dance)
*****★********************★*
He must pay
My gun is loaded
I fear no one
for I am water and fire
*********************
Clear the way, I am coming
*********************★
My heart beat so fast
I have lost the strength,
to move further
I need justice
****************
Does justice exist?
****************
Who is the judge?
to precide my case
I need no one
for I am my judge
***★***********
Justice must prevail
******************
Give me what I want
Justice alone I seek
for my heart to be free
so I rest in peace.
*******************

wow..so nice..i love the story line..great concept.

Re: Nairaland Poetry Club Chatroom. by ayozainy(f): 8:00pm On Nov 25, 2014

donifez:

wow..so nice..i love the story line..great concept.

Thanks

[quote author=donifez post=28342456]

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