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Is Your Pastor A P.imp Preacher? Take The Test - Religion - Nairaland

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Is Your Pastor A P.imp Preacher? Take The Test by Nobody: 5:41pm On Dec 03, 2014
Does This Pimplicious Shoe Fit Your Pastor? Try it On And Let’s See!


Listed below are all of the characteristics of a P.imp Preacher. Be mindful that Pastors display different degrees of control therefore a pastor may be assertive, but not abusive. If you can identify three or more characteristics of your pastor in the list below then he very well may be a – P.imp Preacher. Take The Test and confront yourself…

1.My Pastor Loves Tithes.
2.My Pastor Loves Titles.
3.My Pastor Has issues respecting boundaries.
4.My Pastor often quotes God – but his quotes are not found in scripture.
5.My Pastor started the church flat broke and now he drives a $120k car.
6.My Pastor’s anniversary day takes place over an entire month.
7.My Pastor utters Prophesies based on material things.
8.Wife of Pastor is more than just the wife of the Pastor.
9.My Pastor has created impenetrable church cliques.
10.It takes my pastor 7-10 Bible Verses to make one point.
11.My Pastor’s Theological incompetency is leading to a redefining of Jesus Christ.
12.Members have to graduate various stages of spiritual enlightenment that he created.
13.Right before he enters the sanctuary 6 other people lead the way.
14.My Pastor makes you fearful of leaving from under His Spiritual Covering.
15.My Pastor often shares stories of people who left the ministry and died or their lives took a bad turn.
16.My Pastor constantly tells members to remain Kingdom-minded, which translates to “Focus On Our Church And His Vision Only!”
17.The members who Give more are Valued more by My Pastor.
18.My Pastor is right – even when he’s wrong.
19.Success in ministry is based on how many members assemble each Sunday.
20.My Pastor now has one church location in the inner city and another location in the suburbs.
21.My Pastor no longer has time to preach funerals because his other title is Sr. Pastor, so he now assigns all burials to the Assistant Minister.
22.His jewelry cost more than your car.
23.I can’t remember the last time I witnessed him outside feeding the homeless.
24.We are required to stand when he enters the church.
25.My wife is conforming to his opinion of a good woman or my husband refuses to come to church.
26.I can’t remember his last private sector job.
28.The Benevolence Ministry requires that you fill out an application.
29.The first pew of my church is reserved for the important people.
30.My Pastor doesn’t even know my name - but has seen my W2.
31.My Pastor told us all of his wealth came from private investments, but none of those investments were in place before he started preaching.
32.All of my Pastor’s sermons are about getting to another Level and My Destiny, but never about feeding the hungry people on this current level.
33.My Pastor preaches constantly about giving money and sowing my best seed, but I never see him give money or sow his best seed into any of the members.
34.The church front office employees are all family members of the pastor, and some of them make three times my salary.
35.I have a gut feeling that my Tithes are also financing his other women, and Child Support for children conceived outside of his marriage.
36.My Pastor has changed the Church By-Laws rules to make it impossible to fire him.
37.No one in the Church can find the original By-laws that were in place before we hired the current Pastor.
38.I get the feeling Pastor is waiting on one of the Deacons to die so he could have Absolute Power!
39.The money from sales in the Book Store is the Pastor’s pocket money.
40.His gated community has a 24 hour security guard - and my name is not on the list of approved visitors.
41.The only Chapter and Verses ever preached in the Book of Malachi is Malachi 3:8-10
42.Every week my Pastor ask us to sow a Seed, but the name of the Seed changes every week according to his needs.
43.Three out the six lines on the Tithing Envelope are all for the Pastor, and the one line at the bottom is for the First Lady.
44.We use to have a van that picked up the Elderly members - now the van remains parked on side of the church.
45.Before every sermon we have to hear a 30 minute lecture on how much he loves his wife - but I already know about his fling with my Hairdresser Tamika. She made it a point during my last visit to tell me all about it.
46.I can no longer afford Revival Week.
47.I am still not sure how he became an Apostle, and I am too afraid to ask.
48.We have a Building fund, but most of the members do not own their own homes.
49.I think I have paid more in Tithes than I have saved for my kids college tuition.
50.My Pastor’s favorite saying is “Give until it Hurts.”


For your results and analysis go to ;


http://pimppreacher.com/post/86039545160/is-your-pastor-a-love-vendor-preacher-take-the-test

1 Like

Re: Is Your Pastor A P.imp Preacher? Take The Test by holatin(m): 5:44pm On Dec 03, 2014
haaaaa
All that are associated with 99.0003 of nigeria pastor.
Quit worshipping pastor
Worship the lord ur God only

1 Like

Re: Is Your Pastor A P.imp Preacher? Take The Test by ITbomb(m): 6:00pm On Dec 03, 2014
If any of your Pastor score 60% in these, run for your life
Re: Is Your Pastor A P.imp Preacher? Take The Test by truthislight: 12:23pm On Jan 25, 2015
ITbomb:
If any of your Pastor score 60% in these, run for your life

Lol. Which of them is very far from those ?

I sincerely doubt there is any of them.

A closer look will convince you.
Re: Is Your Pastor A P.imp Preacher? Take The Test by made2fit(f): 8:39pm On Jan 26, 2015
My pastor is guilty again as usual. Pls. I need to leave my church. It is imperative that I do. I cringe inwardly most times when he preaches. I can no longer bear the gross distortion of scriptures for personal benefit. But what should I say, what will be my reason? I'm a commited worker, everyone will start to visit and ask questions. I don't want to lie. What do u think I should say? How do I leave quietly, with family and all? I don't even have another church. I'm just tired of all these manipulations.

3 Likes

Re: Is Your Pastor A P.imp Preacher? Take The Test by made2fit(f): 8:53pm On Jan 26, 2015
His sermons are becoming more and more secular. Last year alone, he spent more than half of the year on a 'series spree': making of money, benefits of sowing, money management, sowing into your destiny, how to sow and reap etc. He has started dis year again with first fruits etc. I feel sorry for the congregation cos they are not growing. I make up for these by listening to sound and balanced messages from other servants of God and studying on my own. In short, I'm leaving. I don't care anymore.

4 Likes

Re: Is Your Pastor A P.imp Preacher? Take The Test by truthislight: 2:31pm On Feb 03, 2015
2Tim. 4:3-5

For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.
4 They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.
5 But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.
......................................

Many people don't have love for the truth (God's word) hence they end up believing the lies that is being speed.

2Thessalonians 2:11,12 :

For this reason God sends them a powerful delusion so that they will believe the lie
12 and so that all will be condemned who have not believed the truth but have delighted in unrighteousness.
Re: Is Your Pastor A P.imp Preacher? Take The Test by paulGrundy(m): 2:53pm On Feb 03, 2015
truthislight:
2Tim. 4:3-5

For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.
4 They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.
5 But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.
......................................

Many people don't have love for the truth (God's word) hence they end up believing the lies that is being speed.

2Thessalonians 2:11,12 :

For this reason God sends them a powerful delusion so that they will believe the lie
12 and so that all will be condemned who have not believed the truth but have delighted in righteousness.

BERNIMORE what's up? Its been a while. Where have you been?
Re: Is Your Pastor A P.imp Preacher? Take The Test by Nobody: 3:39pm On Feb 03, 2015
Lalastica, you know how you dey help us do am na
Re: Is Your Pastor A P.imp Preacher? Take The Test by paulGrundy(m): 4:37pm On Feb 03, 2015
truthislight:


Lol. Which of them is very far from those ?

I sincerely doubt there is any of them.

A closer look will convince you.

Abi oh! Even the governing body of watchtower society is not far from these.
Re: Is Your Pastor A P.imp Preacher? Take The Test by ladon1: 8:53pm On Feb 03, 2015
Yea, i know one pastor that is very far from that list.
1. His concern is that all his members are saved and sanctified by the word if truth and he also encourages his members to move unto perfection. unfortunately many people don't like to worship there because they hate to hear sound doctrine. His name is pastor w.f kumuyi of deeperlife church!
Re: Is Your Pastor A P.imp Preacher? Take The Test by PastorKun(m): 8:32am On Feb 04, 2015
ladon1:
Yea, i know one pastor that is very far from that list.
1. His concern is that all his members are saved and sanctified by the word if truth and he also encourages his members to move unto perfection. unfortunately many people don't like to worship there because they hate to hear sound doctrine. His name is pastor w.f kumuyi of deeperlife church!

Kumuyi also collects unbiblical tithes from his members so he has compromised and would definitely be on the list.

1 Like

Re: Is Your Pastor A P.imp Preacher? Take The Test by vooks: 9:25am On Feb 04, 2015
Luke 18:11 (KJV)
The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican



ladon1:
Yea, i know one pastor that is very far from that list.
1. His concern is that all his members are saved and sanctified by the word if truth and he also encourages his members to move unto perfection. unfortunately many people don't like to worship there because they hate to hear sound doctrine. His name is pastor w.f kumuyi of deeperlife church!
Re: Is Your Pastor A P.imp Preacher? Take The Test by truthislight: 8:45pm On Feb 04, 2015
1tim. 6:9-12 :

Those who are determined to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.
10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.
11 But you, O man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.
12 Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

Yeah!
That ^ explains a lot.

A closer look at them says a lot about who and and what they are even their sermons.
Re: Is Your Pastor A P.imp Preacher? Take The Test by paulGrundy(m): 7:23am On Feb 05, 2015
truthislight:
1tim. 6:9-12 :

Those who are determined to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.
10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.
11 But you, O man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.
12 Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

Yeah!
That ^ explains a lot.

A closer look at them says a lot about who and and what they are even their sermons.

You have made a point BERNIMORE, but there is something you forgot to add:

Deuteronomy 18:22
New International Version

If what a prophet proclaims in the name of the LORD does not take place or come true, that is a message the LORD has not spoken. That prophet has spoken presumptuously, so do not be alarmed.

^^^ any group prophet that prophesies the end of the world, and it does not happen, he is false.
Re: Is Your Pastor A P.imp Preacher? Take The Test by truthislight: 8:20am On Feb 05, 2015
"Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work lawlessness." (Matthew 7:22-23).
.........................

From the above, it is obviouse that the use of Jesus name is no prove of acceptance by God.

Yes, they said the did all sort of powerful works using the name of Jesus Christ. Hence, they did mention Jesus name.

From that ^, we can deduce that the use of Jesus is not a mark of approval.

Entering anywhere bacause they call the name Jesus is a recipe' for desaster as Jesus put it:

"Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? " (Matthew 7:22).
..............................

All should Shine thire eyes unless they are a direct beneficiary from the loot.
Re: Is Your Pastor A P.imp Preacher? Take The Test by paulGrundy(m): 11:41am On Feb 05, 2015
truthislight:
"Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work lawlessness." (Matthew 7:22-23).
.........................

From the above, it is obviouse that the use of Jesus name is no prove of acceptance by God.

Yes, they said the did all sort of powerful works using the name of Jesus Christ. Hence, they did mention Jesus name.

From that ^, we can deduce that the use of Jesus is not a mark of approval.

Entering anywhere bacause they call the name Jesus is a recipe' for desaster as Jesus put it:

"Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? " (Matthew 7:22).
..............................

All should Shine thire eyes unless they are a direct beneficiary from the loot.

So on point BERNIMORE! cheesy I love that! Most especially the bolded. People shine your eyes. Deuteronomy said any prophet that says a thing and it did not come to pass,he is not speaking for God hence is a false prophet. [size=19pt]Any group that prophesied in Gods name that the world would end in 1914, 1975 is a false prophet and is after your pocket, run from them![/size]
Re: Is Your Pastor A P.imp Preacher? Take The Test by truthislight: 11:54am On Feb 05, 2015
Isaiah 5:20,21 :
Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.
21 Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and clever in their own sight.
Re: Is Your Pastor A P.imp Preacher? Take The Test by truthislight: 12:13pm On Feb 05, 2015
When people refused to work as the bible say Christians should, they become a reproach to the name "Christian".

lots of people saying they are Christian pastors or christians are not into it for the love of God but for the hope that they will become rich via miraculous means, as such, to satisfy that intention, they get themself involve in all sort of extortions to be rich.

If people should keep simple eyes, it is then and only then that their minds will be clear to see and free themselves of the exploitation of "wolf".

Matt. 6:22,23:

The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are simple, your whole body will be bright.
23 But if your eyes are wicked, your whole body will be dark. If then the light within you is dark, how great that darkness is!

A wicked eye is a greedy eye, when a Christian now has a greedy eye, what else do you expect ?

frosbel:
Does This Pimplicious Shoe Fit Your Pastor? Try it On And Let’s See!


Listed below are all of the characteristics of a P.imp Preacher. Be mindful that Pastors display different degrees of control therefore a pastor may be assertive, but not abusive. If you can identify three or more characteristics of your pastor in the list below then he very well may be a – P.imp Preacher. Take The Test and confront yourself…

1.My Pastor Loves Tithes.
2.My Pastor Loves Titles.
3.My Pastor Has issues respecting boundaries.
4.My Pastor often quotes God – but his quotes are not found in scripture.
5.My Pastor started the church flat broke and now he drives a $120k car.
6.My Pastor’s anniversary day takes place over an entire month.
7.My Pastor utters Prophesies based on material things.
8.Wife of Pastor is more than just the wife of the Pastor.
9.My Pastor has created impenetrable church cliques.
10.It takes my pastor 7-10 Bible Verses to make one point.
11.My Pastor’s Theological incompetency is leading to a redefining of Jesus Christ.
12.Members have to graduate various stages of spiritual enlightenment that he created.
13.Right before he enters the sanctuary 6 other people lead the way.
14.My Pastor makes you fearful of leaving from under His Spiritual Covering.
15.My Pastor often shares stories of people who left the ministry and died or their lives took a bad turn.
16.My Pastor constantly tells members to remain Kingdom-minded, which translates to “Focus On Our Church And His Vision Only!”
17.The members who Give more are Valued more by My Pastor.
18.My Pastor is right – even when he’s wrong.
19.Success in ministry is based on how many members assemble each Sunday.
20.My Pastor now has one church location in the inner city and another location in the suburbs.
21.My Pastor no longer has time to preach funerals because his other title is Sr. Pastor, so he now assigns all burials to the Assistant Minister.
22.His jewelry cost more than your car.
23.I can’t remember the last time I witnessed him outside feeding the homeless.
24.We are required to stand when he enters the church.
25.My wife is conforming to his opinion of a good woman or my husband refuses to come to church.
26.I can’t remember his last private sector job.
28.The Benevolence Ministry requires that you fill out an application.
29.The first pew of my church is reserved for the important people.
30.My Pastor doesn’t even know my name - but has seen my W2.
31.My Pastor told us all of his wealth came from private investments, but none of those investments were in place before he started preaching.
32.All of my Pastor’s sermons are about getting to another Level and My Destiny, but never about feeding the hungry people on this current level.
33.My Pastor preaches constantly about giving money and sowing my best seed, but I never see him give money or sow his best seed into any of the members.
34.The church front office employees are all family members of the pastor, and some of them make three times my salary.
35.I have a gut feeling that my Tithes are also financing his other women, and Child Support for children conceived outside of his marriage.
36.My Pastor has changed the Church By-Laws rules to make it impossible to fire him.
37.No one in the Church can find the original By-laws that were in place before we hired the current Pastor.
38.I get the feeling Pastor is waiting on one of the Deacons to die so he could have Absolute Power!
39.The money from sales in the Book Store is the Pastor’s pocket money.
40.His gated community has a 24 hour security guard - and my name is not on the list of approved visitors.
41.The only Chapter and Verses ever preached in the Book of Malachi is Malachi 3:8-10
42.Every week my Pastor ask us to sow a Seed, but the name of the Seed changes every week according to his needs.
43.Three out the six lines on the Tithing Envelope are all for the Pastor, and the one line at the bottom is for the First Lady.
44.We use to have a van that picked up the Elderly members - now the van remains parked on side of the church.
45.Before every sermon we have to hear a 30 minute lecture on how much he loves his wife - but I already know about his fling with my Hairdresser Tamika. She made it a point during my last visit to tell me all about it.
46.I can no longer afford Revival Week.
47.I am still not sure how he became an Apostle, and I am too afraid to ask.
48.We have a Building fund, but most of the members do not own their own homes.
49.I think I have paid more in Tithes than I have saved for my kids college tuition.
50.My Pastor’s favorite saying is “Give until it Hurts.”


For your results and analysis go to ;


http://pimppreacher.com/post/86039545160/is-your-pastor-a-love-vendor-preacher-take-the-test
Re: Is Your Pastor A P.imp Preacher? Take The Test by paulGrundy(m): 2:56pm On Feb 05, 2015
truthislight:
Isaiah 5:20,21 :
Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.
21 Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and clever in their own sight.

Luke 6:42
New International Version

How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? [size=21pt]You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye[/size], and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.
Re: Is Your Pastor A P.imp Preacher? Take The Test by vest(m): 9:44pm On Feb 05, 2015
^^^true talk

1 Like

Re: Is Your Pastor A P.imp Preacher? Take The Test by paulGrundy(m): 10:26pm On Feb 05, 2015
vest:
^^^true talk

1 000 000 likes and 3 gbosa!!! for you. grin grin grin

BERNIMORE/truthislight hope you heard.
Re: Is Your Pastor A P.imp Preacher? Take The Test by brocab: 2:56am On Feb 06, 2015
I remember the times young men and women would train to be pastors, just for the money side of things.
I was never trained to be a pastor, and I never had the desire to be one.

After the Lord showed me about the lie about tithing, I realised so many good Christians are being deceived by the enemy, the sad part about this story, they are being brainwashed in believing what is false-is truth.
Over the years, the tithing faery has destroyed the minds of Gods people believing without love without word that Mammon {Money} is the key to success.
A old Beatles song Money can buy love.

The bible is clearly telling us in scripture, first seek the kingdom of God, and "Jesus' will add what is needed to each of us.
What was old is now new, we don't have to rely on giving our tithes to the temple, we don't have to rely on the Levi priesthood to sacrifice our first fruits, and we don't have to rely on given an offering to God by law.

That was all taking care of when Jesus offered himself, sacrificed himself, and paid' the full price once and for all, for the remissions of our sins, after he was crucified on the cross, he took death away and gave as life.
So those who believe have crossed over from death to life.

The old covenant was written by God for the Jews to obey the law.
Tithing was a law given before Jesus had changed the old covenant, making an new covenant, which was of necessary for Jews and also for Gentiles to believe and obey.
Tithing will never meet the criteria of the Gentiles, Neither did circumcision or uncircumcised, so the lord made away to accept both tribes.
And as easy as this sounds from an old tithing law, meeting us half way he gave us this opportunity to be blessed as freewill givers.

We are now working as a team, Jews and Gentiles are one with Christ.
O/Testament the Jews had nothing to do with the Gentiles and the Gentiles had nothing to do with the Jews.
It was Jesus who had made away for all' from each tribe, that those who believe will have life.

When Jesus arrived, he took us from death to life.

How simple does this sound..
truthislight:
When people refused to work as the bible say Christians should, they become a reproach to the name "Christian".

lots of people saying they are Christian pastors or christians are not into it for the love of God but for the hope that they will become rich via miraculous means, as such, to satisfy that intention, they get themself involve in all sort of extortions to be rich.

If people should keep simple eyes, it is then and only then that their minds will be clear to see and free themselves of the exploitation of "wolf".

Matt. 6:22,23:

The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are simple, your whole body will be bright.
23 But if your eyes are wicked, your whole body will be dark. If then the light within you is dark, how great that darkness is!

A wicked eye is a greedy eye, when a Christian now has a greedy eye, what else do you expect ?

Re: Is Your Pastor A P.imp Preacher? Take The Test by truthislight: 3:22pm On Feb 06, 2015
Revelation 22:11,12 :

Let the one who does unrighteousness continue to do unrighteousness; let the wicked person continue to do wickedness still; let the one who practice righteousness continue to practice righteousness; and let the holy person continue to be holy."
12 "Look, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to each person according to what they have done.
..................................

Amen!

1 Like

Re: Is Your Pastor A P.imp Preacher? Take The Test by paulGrundy(m): 6:33pm On Feb 06, 2015
truthislight:
Revelation 22:11,12 :

Let the one who does unrighteousness continue to do unrighteousness; let the wicked person continue to do wickedness still; let the one who practice righteousness continue to practice righteousness; and let the holy person continue to be holy."
12 "Look, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to each person according to what they have done
..................................

Amen!

1 like and a BIG amen to that. cheesy
Re: Is Your Pastor A P.imp Preacher? Take The Test by Nobody: 7:52am On Feb 07, 2015
Based on the points listed in the original post, my pastor is NOT a p*imp preacher.

(1) (Reply)

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