It is one thing to choose the right partner in marriage; it is another thing to choose the right approach to courtship. A wrong approach to courtship, particularly Christian courtship, can have a negative impact on the right choice. Therefore, believers that are in courtship must be Christian through and through if they would eat the good of the land of marriage (Isaiah 1:19). An important lesson for ladies to learn is that, a man is at his best in courtship. He would call you by different pet names. He would tease you and make you feel secure. These are the normal sweet words you should hear in courtship. However, when the wedding ceremony is over, his hidden shortcomings will be exposed because he can no longer hide them. The saying that “love is blind” is true but marriage is the tool to open the eyes of the blind lover. You will discover the real personality of a man or woman after the wedding ceremony.

For courtship to be Christian in nature, the admonition in Job 1:5-8 must be our watchword. Courtship between two children of God must not be handled childishly. It should be handled with maturity as expected of a serious relationship. There are many false doctrines flying around and children of God must beware of them. For example, some people believe that once you are in courtship, you can begin to co-habit, doing all sorts of ungodly things together. They call it “trial marriage”. This has no place in Christianity. It is LovePeddler-mongering. More often than not, after these so-called brothers have had their fill of the so-called sisters, they dump the sisters for those they regard as “reserved and self-disciplined”. In the same vein, there are terrible wolves in sheep’s clothing among some so-called sisters too. They try to make unsuspecting naïve brothers get them pregnant and the result is what we call shot-gun marriage. This is a marriage not properly prepared for. Christian courtship must be characterised with sincere gestures. It involves sharing past and present experiences with your would-be wife or husband. It should look beyond the present to future aspirations. You should lay your future bare in the hands of Jesus Christ. Though there may be sincere disagreements during courtship, these are not strong enough reasons to break the courtship. However, if a courtship is full of troubles that you are almost getting suffocated with sinful or legalistic demands of your partner, you need to have a rethink of the relationship. This situation calls for fresh prayer. You may have made a mistake in the first place.