Hello,

U av saaid it all dear, its very scarce to c a guy who will take ur kid as his.

You love him n u knw he loves u too

Don't trust d guys claiming to marry u with ur kid because nja guys can't cope with such situation If u don't want to be a second single mother

Pray to God to provide for d faather of ur kid. At times money can maake us leave d right path n fall astray

Urine, please contribute.
Thank You.

I

Is finance the only reason?

If so, what steps have been to better the situation since his family also support him

G

Your baby daddy sounds like he's got his head screwed on correctly.
Maybe you should give him a little more time as long as he doesn't stop being practical and starts building castles in the air.

Does he contribute the little he gets sometimes towards taking care of your baby?
If his family think he's spendthrift, then maybe you need to talk deeply with him about that.
That can ruin a marriage.

Why would you leave a guy who reciprocate you love for another guy?
If I may ask, do you actually love the guy...?
I understand your decision now will have a strong impact on future. I advice you should keep on persuading your boyfriend about marrying you. It is better that way

deylookme:
Thank you for your advice.

My baby's dad has siblings and they are ready to sponsor our wedding even if it's tomorrow. We asked them to give my boyfriend to set up his business again but they said they'll only do that if he's married because he gives a lot and if he's not married, he'll squander the money in "charity".

He said no that he won't accept that, that he wants to pay my bride price himself to avoid their constant interference in our lives. He also feels they will not give him the money when we are married.

He told me that they said I'll leave him soon because according to them I'm beautiful, young, ambitious and intelligent so they are advising him to impregnate me again.

let me ask u the following questions

1. why should my siblings agree to fund my wedding when I am not sure of the next meal I will provide after the wedding.

2. Does having another baby really change someone who will eventually leave?

3. Are there some sort if genuine evidence on the ground that ur ex will accept ur baby.

4. how easy is it for you to leave ur baby's dad and why? emphasis on how and why,compare it to the how and why of ur ex.


if you ans these questions genuinely, you might have settled it all.

6

deylookme:
Thank you for your advice.

My baby's dad has siblings and they are ready to sponsor our wedding even if it's tomorrow. We asked them to give my boyfriend to set up his business again but they said they'll only do that if he's married because he gives a lot and if he's not married, he'll squander the money in "charity".

He said no that he won't accept that, that he wants to pay my bride price himself to avoid their constant interference in our lives. He also feels they will not give him the money when we are married.

He told me that they said I'll leave him soon because according to them I'm beautiful, young, ambitious and intelligent so they are advising him to impregnate me again.

I peronally can't take Donations to wed a gal so I think ur bf is ryt

Come to think of it, can't u guys just do little thing ur bf have power to do or must ur wedding be expensive? Majority of wedding ppl spent millions to do these days dnt last.

Both of u shld plan n do little thing n continue living happily till God ans u guys prayers. I don't knw ur religion tho but we muslims can wed with a token since the main thing iss to join u guys legally aand the reest ceremony iss additional.

But dnt knw if u r the one presuring him to do wedding or he is the one hoping to plan a big wedding

You have someone whom you say is everything you want in a man. And whom you have been tied to (through your son). And then, you have another whom you can not even vouch for.

The way I see it, its no rocket science. Except of course, you're being pressured into being desperate for marriage.

Here's what I think you can do, since both families support both of you. Ask that the two families meet and be formally introduced. And then get it sealed at the registry which I think doesn't cost a fortune and let a priest bless your union here. The expensive church thing can wait till the trumpet sounds.


Wait for who will come and tell you that you're not legally married.

@ Do not leave your baby's father . From the picture of what you have painted about him here , he is a responsible man , only that at present he is down but not out . I think , you have a lot to do to help him stand on his feet financially . Does he has a skill ? When I say skill , I mean innate knowledge about something , an area of knowledge he can pass its aptitude test without reference to some quantified knowledge based on what is written in a certain paper called certificate . If he has a skill and is a master in it , then believe you me that his way to financial freedom is 80% solved , and it only means that both of you need patience to get off to good financial standing and to consummate your marital union . Once more , stick with him , I foresee better future ahead for both of you .

if

.

Y

deylookme:
Honestly he's not a spendthrift but he can't turn a blind eye to a suffering person, sometimes he can go to the extreme. He knows what he should do for his kid and I and the little he gets, he does just that.

Then give him some time.

Although that part of never turning a blind eye to a suffering person is best suited for comfortable people.

I have an uncle who would use his business capital to pay rent for some families and at the end of the day,he would have nothing left.
Needless to say,it caused a lot of problems in his own family because he wouldn't leave anything as a fall back in case he had a family emergency.
He would even go around in public places looking for who to help.

He could meet someone in public transport, fall for their sob story and take him/her with him to his ATM to withdraw money and assist.
His wife couldn't be sure if they have 1 million naira today whether it will be there tomorrow because he will always find someone who's child is dying and needs the money badly .

Nice candidate for scam artists

At a point it became clear that it was a kind of condition he had that he couldn't help .
So wifey separated Her finance from his to prevent total lack whenever he goes on one those his helping sprees.

I can tell you it is a sweet character but one that can cause big problems when you have family needs to take care of first:

Imagine losing a child because you didn't have initial deposit to place her/him in the hospital during a health emergency? Do you think the marriage will still be sweet?

That could happen.

I hope his case is not extreme like that of my uncle but he still needs to learn to give within his means and plan first before spending.
You can talk to him about it.

deylookme:
we are not planning a big wedding. Wedding isn't our problem, it's sustaining one that is the issue because we know it can be hell if there's no money

hmm if dats the case, an adage says "what a child will eat, God as already provide it before birth"

I am talking all these because I was once in ur. Shoe and me n my baby mum managed to struggle to succeed. What matters is love n understanding.

If both of u want to be together forever I blv u both knw d next step because Majority of rich couples u see out there didn't marry while rich, God will start accepting ur praayers if both of u r meant to be together. Destiny can not be changed.

deylookme:
it's the major reason. He had a running business initially but made bad investment choices and he lost everything.

He needs capital to start all over again which he doesn't have but his family is insisting he gets married before they can loan him the needed amount.

Then it's obvious finance is not the "major" reason.

Think about it and talk it over with him

As for your ex, run away from him cos he thinks he's doing you a favor

deylookme,

I feel your pain because I had to deal with a similar issue some days ago. First things first, you have to take your ex out of the picture, he's an ex for a reason and with the way our family system is messed up in this part of the world I wonder how easy it will be easy for you to raise your child in another man's house. It's like postponing trouble to a later date.

With all the things you've said, I can't see any negative thing about your baby daddy. All you have here are kind and positive words, so why do you want to give up on him? Family pressure? Societal pressure? In the real scheme of things you have to understand that it's your life and letting outside pressure get to you might ruin you. If you say this man is good, why can't you be loyal and stay by him, fight with him, work together as a team. Life is a tricky place and tables turn, so you can't give up on him. Loyal people NEVER loose. Love is hard work, love is crazy and crazy people rule and change the world.

There's this man I know, a former governor in this country. There was a time in his life he was broke, wife left him, lost his job, met this woman that was 10+ years older than you @ the moment, single and not married. You know what? This woman stood by him despite the pressure, never married another man, in fact she gave him the only car she had while she opted for public transportation. Fast forward the man married her, became governor, she had a baby and they are living life to the fullest. This is not a nollywood story, I am a witness to this. You need to have faith, you need to tell your man that despite the challenges you have faith in him and trust me my sister you won't loose out.

Great men have turbulent journeys through life, few people are loyal during these journeys but they never forget those people. God bless you

cc: DaLexyAnn

.

I pick your baby's father of the two you mentioned here. Your ex has been trying to come back for a decade now. So even before you started dating your baby's dad, there was a reason you did not get back with him. Don't be led by desperation to do something you'll regret.

With that being said, your current boyfriend has his own K-leg too, if he's not comfortable in the next 10yrs, will he still keep you waiting? I only hope he really wants you and is not just stringing you along. And you can be sure he won't change his excessive giving habit after marriage, so be prepared.

Gal,lets be realistic.
He won't change when more money comes in.
This is who he is. Either accept or leave.

Now if u accept,how do u curb it?

I propose u open a joint account with him.
He don't withdraw without ur notice likewise u. And no atm for now.

If he likes d idea, u r good to go. If he don't, be rest assured that he won't like it after d I do and u r back to square one.
Goodluck

cococandy:
Your baby daddy sounds like he's got his head screwed on correctly.
Maybe you should give him a little more time as long as he doesn't stop being practical me start building castles in the air.

Does he contribute the little he gets sometimes towards taking care of your baby?
If his family think he's spendthrift, then maybe you need to talk deeply with him about that.
That can ruin a marriage.

Phew! You're a breath of fresh air ma'am. God bless you.

I think u should give Ur Baby Daddy sometime. I'm not really in support of pple sponsoring ones wedding b4 u give them reasons to control Ur home. Its not easy for a Man to bring up anoda's child, so let Ur ex remain who he is 'an ex'

.

cococandy:


Then give him some time.

Although that part of never turning a blind eye to a suffering person is best suited for comfortable people.

I have an uncle who would use his business capital to pay rent for some families and at the end of the day,he would have nothing left.
Needless to say,it caused a lot of problems in his own family because he wouldn't leave anything as a fall back in case he had a family emergency.
He would even go around in public places looking for who to help.

He could meet someone in public transport, fall for their sob story and take him/her with him to his ATM to withdraw money and assist.
His wife couldn't be sure if they have 1 million naira today whether it will be there tomorrow because he will always find someone who's child is dying and needs the money badly .

Nice candidate for scam artists

At a point it became clear that it was a kind of condition he had that he couldn't help .
So wifey separated Her finance from his to prevent total lack whenever he goes on one those his helping sprees.

I can tell you it is a sweet character but one that can cause big problems when you have family needs to take care of first:

Imagine losing a child because you didn't have initial deposit to place her/him in the hospital during a health emergency? Do you think the marriage will still be sweet?

That could happen.

I hope his case is not extreme like that of my uncle but he still needs to learn to give within his means and plan first before spending.
You can talk to him about it.

some ppl sha ,must u gv advice due to ur own style or lifestyle of living? The poor will be rich one day if God wishes n d rich can also b poor any fvcking time. My God of wonders.

Deylookme , dnt. Just tag ppl in ur tread due to u see one or two comments of them. This is ur life n ur future

agarawu23:
some ppl sha ,must u gv advice due to ur own style or lifestyle of living? The poor will be rich one day if God wishes n d rich can also b poor any fvcking time. My God of wonders.

Deylookme , dnt. Just tag ppl in ur tread due to u see one or two comments of them. This is ur life n ur future

What is this?

ileobatojo:


What is this?

who I go ask?

deylookme:
I love him a lot that is why I'm seeking opinions to make sure I'm not blinded by love

Do you know what is stopping him from asking you out to marry him?

Op, you have the best pieces of advice here so pick the most suitable and run with it.

But don't forget to involve God though.

Best of luck.

ileobatojo:


What is this?

Effect of too much Xmas wine.
I just ignored it because I didn't even understand what he was trying to say