Me and my boyfriend met during our service year and we have been dating ever since.I love everything about him and I was looking forward to when we will get married.Recently,he told me he wants to go back and read medicine because that has always been his dream. Am happy for him but am worried about when we will settle down.Am not getting any younger and I don't think I can wait till when he finishes the course before we marry.My friend was of the opinion that he wants to dump me that's why he is doing all that so I will get upset and leave the relationship.pls I need mature advice on how to handle this issue.

I pity for you.
you had better call him to define the relationship to avoid waiting in vain.
#who knows? you might be the only one in the reship.#jux saying#

focusM:
Me and my boyfriend met during our service year and we have been dating ever since.I love everything about him and I was looking forward to when we will get married.Recently,he told me he wants to go back and read medicine because that has always been his dream. Am happy for him but am worried about when we will settle down.Am not getting any younger and I don't think I can wait till when he finishes the course before we marry.My friend was of the opinion that he wants to dump me that's why he is doing all that so I will get upset and leave the relationship.pls I need mature advice on how to handle this issue.

the chances of you marrying a fellow corp member is about 2%. the woman he's likely to marry is in JSS3 preparing for junior WAEC. you & this guy don't have the same schedule. look elsewhere for a guy that is much older and ready to settle down.

stop dating your age-mates.....

Dear OP,

Please don't give yourself a headache, running stomach and undue stress because you are trying to figure an answer you can get by simply asking questions.

Just ask him, where that decision of his leaves you both. Ask questions about your future to avoid wasting your time. Don't be afraid to. This is the mistake many ladies make, they assume they will come off as desperate If they ask such questions. No dear! It shows you are a serious lady who knows where she is going and wants to be sure she is on the right ship, with the right captain.

Tnx so much evina,I will try to ask him,just that sometimes it makes you sound desperate.@Coogar,I have heard of many people that met during service getting married everyday.There is no straight rule when it has to do with issues of love.

focusM:
Pls friends,am disturbed,I met my bf during service.we are good friend and love each other very much.[b]We plan to settle down soon but the problem is my boyfriend has no job yet and many ready guys have been asking me to marry them.should I [/b]continue to wait or just accept one of them?Am 26yrs old.I really don't want to break my boyfriends heart because so many pple know we are dating.am just imagining how he will feel when I post my wedding pix on FB and he will have to explain to all his friends why I left him.also,u can't trust anybody,I may end up waiting for him and he still leaves me and marry someone else.He is 28yrs old.My mum said he is still very young and may not settle down till 3yrs time and I can't wait that long again.pls help me,any one with useful advice.

So dear what is your story? Him pursuing his dreams or guys asking for your hand in marriage?

edwife:


So dear what is your story? Him pursuing his dreams or guys asking for your hand in marriage?

good question

Edwife,can't you see the flow in the two post?You seriously have nothing to say so pls keep your mouth shut let others who want to give their advice do so.

focusM:
Edwife,can't you see the flow in the two post?You seriously have nothing to say so pls keep your mouth shut let others who want to give their advice do so.

You obviously lack manners,where is the flow here? You are on a public forum seeking for advices and opinions -i don't dig up,but i noticed you opened two threads with different contents,so i needed to check your background and know how to go about your story,but you resulted in being uncouth.

Too many inconsistencies in your story,here is another thread you opened today

[quote author=focusM post=29348658]My boyfriend just told me he really wants to go back and read medicine because that has always been his dream.After service,I was thinking that we will settle down after at least two years but this medicine issue is killing me.When will he finish the medicine so we can marry.When I told my mum,she said he is trying to dump me,but I don't think so because he asked me if he could pick the direct entry form and I told him to go ahead.I feel like ending the relationship because I can't wait for him to finish the medicine.Am just confuse,medicine is a serious course and he may not think of marriage till after the course.please I need very experienced and mature advice.Thanks
N/B am 26yrs old and he is 28 and we just finished serving.

F22RAPTOR:

good question

am surprise u guys are being so confused.Common sense is not common at all.

edwife:


You obviously lack manners,where is the flow here? You are in a public forum seeking for advices and opinions -i don't dig up,but i noticed you opened two threads with different contents,so i needed to check your background and know how to go about your story,but you resulted in being uncouth.

Too many inconsistencies in your story,here is another thread you opened today

I opened the second thread because I thought the first one wasn't successful.I can see u are out to frustrate this thread that's why you are going about saying negative things.

focusM:

I opened the second thread because I thought the first one wasn't successful.I can see u are out to frustrate this thread that's why you are going about saying negative things.

That's what you should have said at first and not being defensive and insultive.You are the one looking for an advice here,and be ready to answer any question thrown at you, i only asked a simple question here.

I have no intention being negative,life is too beautiful for such....unlike people liking your posts,not surprise of nairalanders bitter residents....



Enjoy your thread,i am out!

Op, people have dreams they wanna fulfill but the timing of the dream in this case is a cause for concern. You dnt go making such statements like: " when are we going to marry na" or "So you want to dump me" or "Are you not going to marry me". No. Dnt say those. you phrase your question in a way without coming out as desperate. Just ask him what his intentions/plans are for the relationship, if he wishes the relationship can continue and then move it to the next level. Be straightforward in your questions and replies. Regardless of the replies he gives you, Let him know that you are in for a serious relationship leading to marriage and the timing of his dream will surely affect the future of the relationship then allow him to give a reply to that. Do not in any way plead for anything or try to convince him to change plans because you would come across as desperate trying to coerce him to marry you. If a man truly sees you in his future, he himself will make provisions on his own for you without being told/convinced.

edwife:


That's what you should have said at first and not being defensive and insultive.You are the one looking for an advice here,and be ready to answer any question thrown at you, i only asked a simple question here.

I have no intention being negative,life is too beautiful for such....

Enjoy your thread,i am out!

Hey sorry i had to quote u here,, errmm are you LILIAN?

focusM:
am surprise u guys are being so confused.Common sense is not common at all.

ahhhhh....I'm very sorry madam. seriously I meant no harm. I know you are afraid, desperate and confused ( i mean in a good way no insults intended). There are a lot of questions running through your mind abt ur future with ur boy friend. Reading all ur replies, I see the kind of person u are: 1. you know what u want and you go for it. you are precise and very focused.
2. You have made ur choice already, you are only looking for support not advice.
3. in your present state of mind there is no degree of assurance that would be sufficient enough to convince you to continue with the relationship.
So just get married to one of your suitors and don't feel guilty about it, you are not getting any younger. Your boyfriend will get over it. trust me.
Note: No responsible man wants a trouble maker as a wife. Seriously check urself.

cocospice:

Hey sorry i had to quote u here,, errmm are you LILIAN?

Don't know any Lilian,no I am not

Is his wanting to study medicine your ONLY reason for thinking that he may want to dump you or is there anything else that makes you think so? I can't imagine that he wants to study medicine or claims so to dump you but I am wondering how you reached this conclusion.

edwife:

Don't know any Lilian,no I am not

Ok sry to bother you, she's a friend stays in the uk and fair.

If you can wait for him to go back to school and study medicine before marriage, then I must confess that your patience is out of this world. However, let me warn you - the wait may be disastrous!

Errrmm

Coogar already told you the plain bitter truths.
Move on....and don't forget to say no to se.x to the next guy.

focusM:
Me and my boyfriend met during our service year and we have been dating ever since.I love everything about him and I was looking forward to when we will get married.Recently,he told me he wants to go back and read medicine because that has always been his dream. Am happy for him but am worried about when we will settle down.Am not getting any younger and I don't think I can wait till when he finishes the course before we marry.My friend was of the opinion that he wants to dump me that's why he is doing all that so I will get upset and leave the relationship.pls I need mature advice on how to handle this issue.

una never start ur friends don dey come in.....

It's only one person that can ans Ur question and address Ur fear, and that's Ur BF. Talk to him to know his plans for you. U don't have to plead, beg or even try to cajole so u don't sound like u are desperate.

Btw shouldn't u be developing urself too just like he's doing instead of just waiting for marriage to happen. In d process u might even meet a lot of interesting pple. U are still young @ 26