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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily (4473 Views)
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Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by makasimatics(m): 9:53am On Dec 31, 2014 |
I am the last born of my family from the east side of Anambra State. I am loved as well as cared for by my siblings. I graduated newly from University of Port Harcourt ,and presently waiting for service. Now in the village for Xmas, my brothers' wife always raises her voice on me virtually each time she wants to ask me something . On 29th the morning, I was sent to onitsha to drop my dad. As I got their,my dad used ATM after which I collected 4000 naira from him in order to fuel the car. Then I called our wife on the phone,telling her to allow her sister to give me 1000 naira from the money she was having so that I might be able to purchase 5000 naira fuel. She then concurred. But as I came back, she rushed to the car so as to check if actually, I bought the exact amount I claimed. When I got down from the car,she started questioning me ( with her voice on the tree). She doubted if I really bought 5K fuel,but immediately, I walked out on her which really got her angry. Now every member of the family is blaming me. To them,i must say sorry to her. But I believe that respect is vice versa. She would have used a gentle voice. Should I say sorry? 2 Likes |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by sammer4life(m): 10:06am On Dec 31, 2014 |
Nairalanders...... Nairalanders...... |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by dominique(f): 10:09am On Dec 31, 2014 |
Regardless of your age, you must not allow anybody intimidate you. Even if you you did not spend the entire money on fuel, N1000 is not too much to overlook for her husband's brother. She's just being silly and petty. What is her husband saying about how she treats you? 7 Likes |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by Nobody: 10:09am On Dec 31, 2014 |
Learn humility and respect. She's obviously older than you. Walking out on her doesn't show respect. She may have good reasons to question your antics. If you don't like it, get your own accommodation and leave home. You are an adult. 5 Likes |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by makasimatics(m): 10:14am On Dec 31, 2014 |
dominique: Well, my brother is not around. I don't just understand the woman. She shouts easily on me irrespective of the people there. |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by makasimatics(m): 10:16am On Dec 31, 2014 |
kITATITA: Well,its ok. I understand u. I have in mind of getting my own house in the village as soon as I have a job |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by PapiDShipCapt(m): 10:22am On Dec 31, 2014 |
Have you explained to your brother of her attitude towards you lately? And did he make any attempt of addressing the issue? Is your brother insisting that you apologize to her? In what way and manner is he sending the message across to you? Reason this out and you will know weda to limit yourself from them or not. I.M.O: wives are supposed to be reserved and respectful to her inlaws regardless of age because she is new to d family. You shouldn't have walked out on her sha. So say the "am sorry" word to her and also let her know that you don't like being shout at she shouldn't take that attitude into 2015. 4 Likes |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by PapiDShipCapt(m): 10:25am On Dec 31, 2014 |
dominique:You said my mind |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by Nobody: 10:28am On Dec 31, 2014 |
makasimatics: I like your thoughts. But things are not always the way you think. When you get a job, are you going to walk out on your boss if he/she questions your integrity? You are likely going to get insulted in your workplace more than you've been insulted at school and home; and there's nothing you can do about it. While I encourage you to fight for your right, sometimes it is wiser to be correct than to be right. 5 Likes |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by Nobody: 10:39am On Dec 31, 2014 |
Just say the five letter word to her, at least for the sake of peace. Maybe she feels her husband, your brother, loves you more than her. Some women sha. 1 Like |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by makasimatics(m): 11:14am On Dec 31, 2014 |
kITATITA: Yeah I get u. U are right brother. I like that |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by makasimatics(m): 11:15am On Dec 31, 2014 |
MzPreshie: Really sister. It may be so. I don't know. But I should be careful |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by makasimatics(m): 11:17am On Dec 31, 2014 |
PapiDShipCapt: Have not told him. But will tell him as soon as he homes back. |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by dominique(f): 1:07pm On Dec 31, 2014 |
makasimatics: Maybe she still sees a little kid in you. You have to prove otherwise in your demeanour. It will be better if you can find alternate living arrangement pending the time you go for youth service. I wish all the best. 1 Like |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by Nobody: 2:34pm On Dec 31, 2014 |
You did right by walking away, it would have been worse if you stayed and exchanged words which was probably what she wanted. Old age is not a right to be rude and loud. Before reporting to your brother, I advice you wait till things are calm and speak with her one on one. 1. Ask why she feels you can only hear her if she shouts or talks in a condescending manner 2. Ask if there is any reason she doesn't think you deserve some regard Tell her you are willing to respect her and have no issues with her if she also gives you some respect and stops shouting at you when she talks. 8 Likes |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by Chillis: 3:38pm On Dec 31, 2014 |
aisha2: I didn't read all you wrote but I believe you are right. Op follow this advice . 4 Likes |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by Nobody: 3:42pm On Dec 31, 2014 |
Chillis: Lmao you no serious |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by Nobody: 5:14pm On Dec 31, 2014 |
You should have just bought the 4k fuel and not call her, some peeps don't know how to avoid trouble. Walking out on her shows that you don't have much regards for her, apologize to the woman and maintain your lane next time. 2 Likes |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by Agrika: 5:16pm On Dec 31, 2014 |
You don't have any iota of respect in you, u walked out on your brother's wife while she was still talking to you and you still get mouth to talk, I bet you if it was ur gf that the same thing, u won't hv noticed...are you not "big" enough to even afford that 5k not to talk of 1k... 2 Likes |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by soulglo: 5:18pm On Dec 31, 2014 |
dominique: That would make him a liar and a thief. Bad advice. Even N1 should not be taken from someone under false pretense @OP She was obviously disrespectful but she's simply suffering from what many Nigerians suffer from. The sickness were they believe that as long as the person is older than you then they must be right. Don't quarrel with anyone but use this as motivation to do what it takes to leave their house and be independent. You sound like a respectful person from your post. Don't let anyone drag you down to their level. 4 Likes |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by adebisicutie: 5:24pm On Dec 31, 2014 |
You're not wrong for walking out on her, most Nigerians unfortunately fail to realize that respect begets respect. If you had stayed you would probably have said something insultive so sometimes walking away is the best thing. Why would any sane person start shouting at their in law and questioning your integrity over 1,000 k Say the sorry so peace can be restored but let her know that raising her voice at your and questioning your integrity was disrespectful. If she's a smart person, she'll also apologize but if she dosent just stay away from her 4 Likes |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by lilmax(m): 5:47pm On Dec 31, 2014 |
@op gain respect..... |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by cococandy(f): 6:07pm On Dec 31, 2014 |
Gbam soulglo: 1 Like |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by SAMBARRY: 6:22pm On Dec 31, 2014 |
dominique:gbam |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by SAMBARRY: 6:22pm On Dec 31, 2014 |
Another gbam adebisicutie: |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by chimajii: 6:25pm On Dec 31, 2014 |
adebisicutie: The right thing to have said is 'Insulting' not 'Insultive' |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by makasimatics(m): 7:19pm On Dec 31, 2014 |
dominique: Thanks. Have made a peaceful decision. Its well |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by makasimatics(m): 7:20pm On Dec 31, 2014 |
aisha2: U have spoken as one with wisdom 1 Like |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by makasimatics(m): 7:23pm On Dec 31, 2014 |
Agrika: Right u are. U talked on the basis of all things being the same |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by makasimatics(m): 7:26pm On Dec 31, 2014 |
soulglo: Thanks |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by Agrika: 10:11pm On Dec 31, 2014 |
makasimatics:No mind my mouth, just apologise to her just to fufil all righteousness, some wives no be am I swear. 1 Like |
Re: Advice : My Elder Brothers' Wife Quarrels Me Unneccesarily by dinachi(m): 10:55pm On Dec 31, 2014 |
Say sorry but calmly tell her that her attitude was the reason you ignored her and walked out because you did not want to be disrespectful by exchanging words with her. 1 Like |
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