|Join Nairaland / Login / Trending / Recent / New|
Stats: 1060706 members, 1230353 topics. Date: Sunday, 19 May 2013 at 10:47 AM
|My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by tarababy: 10:30pm On Dec 23, 2012|
I have been married to my hubby for 5 years now.For the past two years anytime we have disagreement or quarrel,he would spit on my face.I have had a heart to heart discussion with him to stop this disgraceful habit and he promised to stop but still did it four days ago.
Even my mum came all the way from Nigeria to plead with him here in England to stop spitting on me. Anytime I call my mum about this matter,she would start crying saying my husband is laying a curse on me and nothing good will come out of me if he continues.
I am losing interest in this marriage because there is no hope that he would ever change.I do not think any normal man would spit on his dog,let alone his wife.
He says he sees me as a poo at that moment and that his why he does it.HE is the type that loses his temper easily and would do nasty thing,which he later regrets .He is a forty year old man,who has refused to grow up.
married and matured minds in the house, do you think am wasting my time with this man?
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by nitrogen(m): 10:52pm On Dec 23, 2012|
Nawa o, this is strange! Why are some men like this now?
@op, please, be cool, can you guys settle this in a family meeting? Like your family and his come together and a premise is reached. The premise will be that any other time he tries that again, it is a divorce straight (only you will know that it is just to scare him, at least you wouldn't want a divorce), I think that will scare him, since it is a family thing. To be frank with you, this can't be settled within both of you and its getting escalated, if something is not done soon, he'll pour poo on you someday.
NB: this is only possible if you guys normally come home like once in a year, if not, then I fear that that up there is not feasible.
Above all, be prayerful.
E kpele ma, that's marraige for you, coming together of two different persons with diff (animalistic) characters.
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by coogar: 10:56pm On Dec 23, 2012|
tarababy: I have been married to my hubby for 5 years now.For the past two years anytime we have disagreement or quarrel,he would spit on my face.I have had a heart to heart discussion with him to stop this disgraceful habit and he promised to stop but still did it four days ago.
spit on your face? is he a king cobra?
what a disgusting attitude.........didn't you check his background before walking the aisle with him? i think you should gather his friends/colleagues and bring the matter up. let them put some sense in his head. it's so dehumanising to be spat on....ewwwww!
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by ileobatojo: 11:15pm On Dec 23, 2012|
I'm sorry I don't know whether to laugh or cry at this your story.
So he suddenly started spitting on you after 3 yrs of marriage. Abeg where did he learn this tactic from? Did he copy it from someone else who does it to his own wife? Strange disgusting shyte.
Wo in fact let me move aside so better people can come and advice you. I'm still too busy being amused by your story. Ehn ehn! People are seeing things in this world sha.
The only 2 things I can tell you are
1. Your mother's story about nothing good coming from you is just that, story. There is no curse nothing. It's just a ret*arded disgusting act, that's all.
2. Have you tried conducting your arguments from a distance? Have you tried slowly backing away when the argument starts? Abi how many yards can he spit? Lol. Yee, mo gbe o!!!
Have you tried spitting on him too?
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by debrief08: 11:20pm On Dec 23, 2012|
I have been spit on before so I understand. Even our then Pastor refused to believe me.
Anyway, you have to decide what you want. Know that whatever you did that led to a disagreement, no disagreement should be settled like this.
It is rude and disrespectful, He has issues and that is an extreme tantrum throwing method. I don't know what to tell you, You are not responsible for his bad attitude, nothing you do will keep him happy, even if you are not the one who upset him, you will be the constant dumping ground for his venom.
He is in London so it is easy for him to get help, tell him to get help if he wants to keep your family together.
I wonder about your own esteem, work on building it, I wonder how it will be after 2 years of being spat on.
Sorry about what you are going through but you need to sit up and stop crying, NO ONE deserves to be spat.
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by ileobatojo: 11:20pm On Dec 23, 2012|
Lmao! Honestly, my first thought was, why did she go digging in the gutter when looking for a husband? But then I wondered why the gutter in him would lay dormant for 3 yrs. Strange shyte.
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by coogar: 11:25pm On Dec 23, 2012|
husband @ 40 behaving like a spoilt brat.....
i don't think he's nigerian! nigerian men don't spit on their wives. "we" take care of our spouses. yet, we might throw tantrums here and there but nothing like dehumanising our other half.
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by kulyie: 11:27pm On Dec 23, 2012|
@ op you are the only one that knows where the shoe pinches.am even suprised you're saying you're in england and still you dont know what to do.is there not cops that you can report to for psychological assault?do you have kids?if you do is that the type of environment you want your kids to grow in where they see daddy spits on mummy at will.you can cover up for your husband for as long as you care,when they grow to a state of knowing their left from their right,i bet you will have a lot of questions to answer.secondly am not sure you want your kids growing up in a house where they think its normal for men to spit on women.remember you are their model and they will do exactly what they see their father and mother do,you dont want your son to repeat what his uncivilized and animalistic father is doing.sit down in that pseudo marriage till he pours acid on you.shebi its still saliva on your face,he will soon upgrade.you've talked to him severally,your mom to has begged him and he hasn't changed and your number 6 is not telling you that he doesnt have any plan of changing.dont you realise that theres nothing permanent in life.its either the person gets better or worse..however if you choose to die being a mrs,there are finishing school for crude and unrefined men like your husband.you can take him there and or take him to a hospital for mental check up or report to the police if he spits on you again or stay in the marriage,endure whatever nonesense you see,raise children who will become animalistic and die there.shikena
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by tarababy: 11:32pm On Dec 23, 2012|
debrief08: I have been spit on before so I understand. Even our then Pastor refused to believe me.
I have spoken to the pastor,friends and family.He promised all of them he would stop but obviously he can't control his temper.
i have suggested anger management course but he has refused to ever attend such course.
He would destroy door,throw pot of stew in the sink and any disgusting thing when he is angry.
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by shaybe baby(f): 11:34pm On Dec 23, 2012|
Call the police on him.
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by tarababy: 11:39pm On Dec 23, 2012|
he is a yoruba man.full blown nigerian with niger mentality.
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by ileobatojo: 11:41pm On Dec 23, 2012|
Am I surprised at the bolded? I was waiting for you to come and start telling us the rest of the story. Your original post made it seem like that's the only thing he does wrong but I just knew that he could not be a model husband in many other ways. Woman, you better stop pu*ssyfooting and take decisive action! Nonsense!
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by debrief08: 11:42pm On Dec 23, 2012|
So now that you have reported him to everyone and he has refused to get help or listen, what do you intend to do?
Stay and keep lamenting or take charge? He is breaking doors, spitting and pouring things away, as I said, I have nothing to say, You know the options.
I am sure you will get a pity party and the "fast and pray, dress s3xy" crew.
Like I said, best wishes.
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by coogar: 11:42pm On Dec 23, 2012|
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by Princess1982(f): 11:45pm On Dec 23, 2012|
Here in the US its called assult to spit on somebody. Have you tried spitting on him? Well if he is real violent that might not be a good idea. Honestly I would leave a man that spits on me after the first time because, I know my worth but thats something you have to figure out.
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by slimyem: 11:54pm On Dec 23, 2012|
I can't think of anything that can be more contemptuous than being spat on and i cannot understand why anyone will endure/live with such for as much as 2 years.
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by nitrogen(m): 12:00am On Dec 24, 2012|
tarababy:Pathetic situation! He needs deliverance. Sefini!
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by fellis(f): 12:03am On Dec 24, 2012|
I won't be surprised if some men come to this thread to ask OP what she did to provoke the man into spitting on her or to 'advice' her to be a good wife by being more submissive and prayerful and non complaining.
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by kulyie: 12:07am On Dec 24, 2012|
If you know your worth,if you know how inestimably valuable you are you will not reduce yourself to a level where anybody will spit on you.its obvious you lack self esteem and you need to get your dignity back,abi did they Be Intimate with you in the bush and your parents forced you on him without proper marriage rites when they realised you were pregnant? Because thats the only people i know men treat with contempt.you deserve better than this,because i cant imagine anyone spitting on me,men,whoever he is he will pay for damages and his entire family will go through hell before i back off.he will have to apologize prostrating wherever he did that act including his parents otherwise i will use everything am worth to reduce him to a nonentity
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by coogar: 12:12am On Dec 24, 2012|
kulyie: If you know your worth,if you know how inestimably valuable you are you will not reduce yourself to a level where anybody will spit on you.its obvious you lack self esteem and you need to get your dignity back,abi did they Be Intimate with you in the bush and your parents forced you on him without proper marriage rites when they realised you were pregnant? Because thats the only people i know men treat with contempt.you deserve better than this,because i cant imagine anyone spitting on me,men,whoever he is he will pay for damages and his entire family will go through hell before i back off.he will have to apologize prostrating wherever he did that act including his parents otherwise i will use everything am worth to reduce him to a nonentity
quit judging her, sheeeeesh!
what do you expect her to do? carry a chainsaw and hack off her hubby's neck. the decision to take is not that easy - she's been married for 5 yrs. emphasis on marriage. obviously, she had indulged the hubby far too much for allowing him to abuse her at will but is that enough grounds for you to say she lacks self esteem? how much do you know the poster to conclude she suffers from low self esteem?
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by Dolly-Parton(f): 12:15am On Dec 24, 2012|
You might wanna take a break from him, while he go sought for help. Cos for sure, this guy needs help (serious professional help).And from ur story,its so obvious u are not happy in that marriage, well except if u enjoy been spat on, which no one in their right senses will.
Tell him,you are not coming back to him until he got the needed help.
Trust me,you don't want your kids growing up in such environment. He is not a good model for the kids. You better run save urself from being poured acid on or ur kids turn to animals like their dad.
And u are wrong about that being a naija mentality. It is absolutely frowned uponin yoruba land to spit in front of people talk less of spitting on them.
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by IfeLuvely: 12:16am On Dec 24, 2012|
Sorry you are going true this oo, but what first came to mind when i read this is: He spits on you and you take it, Abeg if he ever does such again, you too spit on him, infact after spitting on him, carry water and pour ontop his head too. What rubbish!
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by Princess1982(f): 12:34am On Dec 24, 2012|
So to the poster, why do you stay with him? I understand you been with him for 5 years but even if you were with him for 20 years don't you feel you deserve better? If you told the man how you feel about him spitting on you and he continued to do it and you chose to stay then I'm afraid to say it but you my dear are the one who needs the counseling. You are the CEO of your life.
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by maclatunji: 12:55am On Dec 24, 2012|
debrief08: I have been spit on before so I understand. Even our then Pastor refused to believe me.
This reflects most of my thoughts on the matter- get help, you are being abused.
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by Ivynwa(f): 12:56am On Dec 24, 2012|
While you are figuring out what to do in such a place------Just to say for you to be locking up yourself in a room or something next time he goes that crazily ballistic so he doesn't harm or even kill you. Be very careful with such a man before he graduates to threatening you with knife. If he does things that may endanger your life when he is angry then it's high time you started thinking about staying alive unless to you getting maimed or killed by him is better than staying alive.
If he can't help himself and can't let you or others help him manage his anger, what else does he want you to do? Sit and be getting spit on and be praying that he doesn't harm you one day? Nobody spits on me and I ain't tolerating violence either, Life is too sweet for that.
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by y me(f): 2:02am On Dec 24, 2012|
That is disgusting
please remind me why you are sitting put going through all this? love or?
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by greatgod2012(f): 2:32am On Dec 24, 2012|
Heeeeeeeeee, nothing wey i no go read for NL...........
Are you sure this is happening under this heaven me and you are both are..........all in the name of marriage.
Hhhhhhmmmm, as cool and tolerant i claim to be, i dont think i could take this for once, not to talk of two years, NOOOOOOO! This is disgursting, you better stop all this pity party around yourself and think of what else to do to liberate yourself from this beast, called husband.
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by Rotmyt: 5:53am On Dec 24, 2012|
Your husband spits on you,says you look like poo, pours your stew into the drain and damages d door when angry? This is babaric and disgusting. You know the options you have,weigh them and make moves asap! You shouldn't let any one abuse you emotionally, psycholigically or physically. You are human, demand to be treated like one!
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by jidegirl12: 6:09am On Dec 24, 2012|
Wow!! That's all I've been saying to myself going back and forth on this thread .
I happened to have an old acquaintance when both our marriages was still very new then ( both pregnant with our first child) and we meet at the library where we had parenting lectures and discuss parenting for new mums and all that.
This lady is from the east and so was her husband, one day we were talking and she just bursted into a very loud cry I've ever heard from a preggy without going into labour!
; ah ah what happened sister, why now? her hubby spits on her every time they have arguments she replied,
I've never heard of that one before in my life! Even coming from a dysfunctional home my Father never ever spat on my mom ever until they parted ways !
Lo and behold, this guy continued nonstop for over 6 years till the son yelled at him one day, Daddy I'm gonna have to fight you if you don't stop doing that disgusting act to my mummy! or don't you know you're giving her your germs and she can get sick , ( yup I can see my 6 year old saying that for sure so the mom didn't make that up)
I bawled my eyes out that day cos both of them passed the night in my home, it's a long story.
The man hit the little boy for talking back to him defending his mom, Abeg is that kind man sane ?
They've parted ways now still separated , I just can't comprehend the verdict for such behaviour !
Possibly sharia law? I mean who does that?
So OP , don't get me wrong abeg , the ball is in your court , how on earth did you end up with a monster like that? are you willing to stir your pot and make a change by calling in third party like his family again? will this ever end?
As a realist and a person that believed in some superstition and beliefs , being spat on is bad luck and a curse.
like somebody already stated best wishes.
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by Kobojunkie: 6:14am On Dec 24, 2012|
WOW . . . . . WOW . . . .. unbeweavable!!!
@Poster, I don't know what to say . . . . I mean for a man to go as far as to spit on you, not once but every time you both have a disagreement . . . All I want to know is what you plan to do? What happens when your kids start doing the same thing, maybe to you or to other kids outside? I mean what is this doing or has it already done to your self-esteem? How far are you willing to go? I mean what do you plan to do? You are the one experiencing all this and I must say you must be one woman made of steel to endure that level of degradation month after month. I don't know what is lower than being called poo. But @Poster, do tell us, what do you plan to do?
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by jidegirl12: 7:10am On Dec 24, 2012|
If a mentally challenged person starts to spit on people everytime he/she is agitated (like your hubby throwing pots and pans);
1. He/she gets a Narcotic medication ( possibly gonna knock him out / dondie him for a period of time)
2. Physical restraint will be used on that person ( like yaba left )
3. A behavioural specialist will be consulted ASAP ( kinda therapy)
Therefore OP no insult intended , is your man sane ?
|Re: My Husband Spits On My Face During Quarrels by Abali1(m): 7:29am On Dec 24, 2012|
I am sorry if it seems as if I am stalking you. But why do you have to bring in his entire family & parents.... ahn ahn Kulyie. Are you in anyway suggesting that his parents or family members are the ones who asked him to spit on his wife.
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health