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5 Things You Should Never Say To Your Child - Family - Nairaland

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5 Things You Should Never Say To A Child / Photo: What Would You Do If You Came Home And Saw Your Child Like This!! / Photo: If Your Visitor Throws Your Child Up Like This, What Will You Do? (2) (3) (4)

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5 Things You Should Never Say To Your Child by GODWINGODSON(m): 3:40pm On Jan 04, 2015
You probably wouldn't use old-school phrases like "Wait until your father gets home" or "I wish you were more like your sister" with your kids. But there are lots of less obvious ones that you should avoid, for their sake and yours.
1. "Great Job."
Research has shown that tossing out a generic phrase like "Good girl" or "Way to go" every time your child masters a skill makes her dependent on your affirmation rather than her own motivation, saysParentsadvisor Jenn Berman, Psy.D., author ofThe A to Z Guide to Raising Happy, Confident Kids. Save the kudos for when they're truly warranted, and be as specific as you can. Instead of "Super game," say, "That was a nice assist. I like how you looked for your teammate."
2. "Practice makes perfect."
It's true that the more time your child devotes, the sharper his skills will become. However, this adage can ramp up the pressure he feels to win or excel. "It sends the message that if you make mistakes, you didn't train hard enough," says Joel Fish, Ph.D., author of101 Ways to Be a Terrific Sports Parent. "I've seen kids beat themselves up, wondering, 'What's wrong with me? I practice, practice, practice, and I'm still not the best.'" Instead, encourage your child to work hard because he'll improve and feel proud of his progress.
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3. "You're okay."
When your child scrapes his knee and bursts into tears, your instinct may be to reassure him that he's not badly hurt. But telling him he's fine may only make him feel worse. "Your kid is crying because he's not okay," says Dr. Berman. Your job is to help him understand and deal with his emotions, not discount them. Try giving him a hug and acknowledging what he's feeling by saying something like, "That was a scary fall." Then ask whether he'd like a bandage or a kiss (or both).
4. "Hurry up!"
Your child dawdles over her breakfast, insists on tying her own sneakers (even though she hasn't quite mastered the technique yet), and is on pace to be late for school -- again. But pushing her to get a move on creates additional stress, says Linda Acredolo, Ph.D., coauthor ofBaby Minds. Soften your tone slightly by saying, "Let's hurry," which sends the message that the two of you are on the same team. You can also turn the act of getting ready into a game: "Why don't we race to see who can get her pants on first?"
Need help remembering what not to say? Use our handy graphic.
5. "I'm on a diet."
Watching your weight? Keep it to yourself. If your child sees you stepping on the scale every day and hears you talk about being "fat," she may develop an unhealthy body image, says Marc S. Jacobson, M.D., professor of pediatrics and epidemiology at Nassau University Medical Center, in East Meadow, New York. It's better to say, "I'm eating healthy because I like the way it makes me feel." Take the same tack with working out. "I need to exercise" can sound like a complaint, but "It's beautiful outside -- I'm going to take a walk" may inspire her to join you.
Re: 5 Things You Should Never Say To Your Child by GODWINGODSON(m): 3:42pm On Jan 04, 2015
Re: 5 Things You Should Never Say To Your Child by Nobody: 3:56pm On Jan 04, 2015
*hiss* noize
Re: 5 Things You Should Never Say To Your Child by BeeBeeOoh(m): 4:16pm On Jan 04, 2015
Ok. Abeg help me wit wetin agodey telam..

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Re: 5 Things You Should Never Say To Your Child by DONOCSO(m): 4:47pm On Jan 04, 2015
Children can be annoying, sometimes you use such words to reset or boost them.
Re: 5 Things You Should Never Say To Your Child by GODWINGODSON(m): 5:58pm On Jan 04, 2015
@beebeeoh Lol
Re: 5 Things You Should Never Say To Your Child by Nobody: 6:20pm On Jan 04, 2015
Dr. Berman should shut up. If he was in Nigeria, he'd be selling fake drugs in a molue. When my son falls, I tell him he's ok, he no longer cries after a fall, he knows to stand up dust himself up and go to his mum if he needs a dressing and iodine.

Dr. Berman is an olodo. We ain't raising pansies over here.

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Re: 5 Things You Should Never Say To Your Child by GODWINGODSON(m): 6:28pm On Jan 04, 2015
Haba @timbuktou relax na you dey vex o
Re: 5 Things You Should Never Say To Your Child by Nobody: 6:39pm On Jan 04, 2015
GODWINGODSON:
Haba @timbuktou relax na you dey vex o
The truth is no parent will says all these all the time. There are times when saying this stuff will be expedient, and I'm talking about all the points in the OP. They should just shut it already

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Re: 5 Things You Should Never Say To Your Child by GODWINGODSON(m): 6:43pm On Jan 04, 2015
@timbouktou give me some of your time please I'll like speak to you about Jesus
Re: 5 Things You Should Never Say To Your Child by Nobody: 8:52pm On Jan 04, 2015
GODWINGODSON:
@timbouktou give me some of your time please I'll like speak to you about Jesus
I'm all ears. Hope you won't be asking for an offering or my tithe, though.
Re: 5 Things You Should Never Say To Your Child by SirVictory: 11:53pm On Jan 04, 2015
No.3 Guy, when my child falls all I need To do is tell him to get up and be strong. Can't remember falling as a kid and my mum comes around and say stuffs like "Sorry"
Re: 5 Things You Should Never Say To Your Child by GODWINGODSON(m): 9:45am On Jan 05, 2015
Timbuktou:
I'm all ears. Hope you won't be asking for an offering or my tithe, though.
Sir Jesus loves you even now he's up there rooting for you let me have the honor of introducing him to you
Re: 5 Things You Should Never Say To Your Child by dhabeautyjas(f): 12:48pm On Jan 05, 2015
all these things na theory.every child differs. some want praise to do better, while other needs criticism, if you a[pply same rule to all your kids, you may not get the best outta them.
Re: 5 Things You Should Never Say To Your Child by Tovot: 4:56pm On Jan 05, 2015
Different strokes for different children. Growing up I always heard practise made perfect and it spurred me into becoming a better person , not necessary a perfectionist. It never for one day sent the mesaage that if I wasnt perfect, twas because I didnt practise enough. smiley

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