If you have a child, are responsible for a child, or have children around you in any way and at any time, you must erase these words from your vocabulary and refrain from saying them to a child. This is because a child’s mind and perception of the world is very fragile in their formative years, so you have to be careful not to impact them negatively with your words. Jumia Travel, the leading online travel agency, shares 5 things you should never say to a child.

“Practice Makes Perfect”

This popular phrase is what most children have grown up hearing and most parents erroneously believe that this phrase encourages a child to work harder and attain great things. However, most of the time, this is not so. This adage sends a message that if a child doesn’t win or excel, it means the child didn’t work hard enough. This weakens the child’s confidence as he/she grows up believing every failure is caused by his/her incompetence or inability to put in enough effort. It’s better to say instead that ‘practice makes better’ rather than ‘practice makes perfect’.

“You’re Okay”

This is another popular phrase with Nigerian parents. It might seem like the best thing to reassure a child that he/she is okay when he/she has been hurt physically or emotionally, but it isn’t right to force this reality on a child who just isn’t okay. For a child to be sad about something or to come crying to you, it means the child is not okay. You should learn to help the child acknowledge his/her emotions to help him/her understand and deal with them, rather than dismiss them. It’s not like you should never say this to a child, but there are some scenarios you shouldn’t say this.

“I’m on a Diet”

If you struggle with your weight, shape or size, try to keep this struggle as far away from a child as possible. If a child sees you stepping on a scale every day and hears you complaining all the time about being fat and ugly, he/she (especially girls) can develop body image issues. Rather than telling a child you’re on diet, it’s better to say ‘I’m eating healthy and I exercise because it’s great for the body and my heart’. This can inspire the child to join you and live a healthy life.

“We Can’t Afford That”

Most people will think that being bold enough to tell a child this, is teaching the child to be responsible, but this is more counter-productive than productive. Keep money issues as far away as you can from children; they are too young to bear that burden. Choose alternative light-hearted ways to tell your child you can’t afford something. You can try saying you’re saving for something special for the family or that you’ll get it for them later. If the child insists, then it’s a perfect opportunity to teach the child in simple terms about budgeting, saving and managing money.

“Let Me Help”

Again, it’s not like you should never say this to a child, but you should refrain from doing so often. It’s better to let the child ask or give some kind of signal asking for help or even come to you for help, than you jumping in to offer unsolicited help to a child. This can undermine the child’s independence and cause him/her to start looking to others all the time for answers and assistance. When your child asks for help, try asking guiding questions or guiding the child first, to see if the child gets it on his/her own. If he/she doesn’t, then you can help.

Source: http://www.opinions.ng/5-things-never-say-child/

cc; Mynd44, Lalasticlala

This your write-up na for ajebo kids, I was expecting to see things like
-Oloriburuku
-Arindin
-Ewu
-Onye iberibe
-I didn't kill my mother_you won't kill me
-Before you kill me, I will make sure I kill you first.
-I will disown you if you continue like this
-Did the person that carry first have two heads?"
-Good for nothing child.

PaperLace:
This your write-up na for ajebo kids, I was expecting to see things like
-Oloriburiku
-Arindin
-Ewu
-Onye iberibe
-I didn't kill my mother_you won't kill me
-Before you kill me, I will make sure I kill you first.
-I will disown you if you continue like this
-Did the person that carry first have two heads?"
-Good for nothing child.

LOL

maclatunji:


LOL

You need to hear what comes out of some parents mouth, OP's list na child's play. On Sunday I saw a woman tell her child _ "my life would have been better if I didn't have you".

PaperLace:

You need to hear what comes out of some parents mouth, OP's list na child's play. On Sunday I saw a woman tell her child _ "my life would have been better if I didn't have you".

That kid is going to have self esteem issues. Some women are really annoying as if she was forced to give birth.

PaperLace:
This your write-up na for ajebo kids, I was expecting to see things like
-Oloriburuku
-Arindin
-Ewu
-Onye iberibe
-I didn't kill my mother_you won't kill me
-Before you kill me, I will make sure I kill you first.
-I will disown you if you continue like this
-Did the person that carry first have two heads?"
-Good for nothing child.

All these can be subsumed under verbal abuse. The sad thing is that parents, (and, believe me you, mothers are most culpable) who repeatedly engage in this terrorizing act do not in many cases even realize the insidious effects their continued verbal assault have on their children's psyche and overall well-being.

Children are suggestible creatures ---- tabula rasa as John Locke posited; and if you call a child an idiot for an extended period of time, the false notion that he is an idiōt is impressed upon the child and he starts to believe that he is truly an idiöt, and even starts to behave like an idiot. All the body needs is for the mind to be fully convinced that it is something which it truly is not.

The truth is that many Nigerian parents are mentally and emotionally unfit to raise children.
I recoil in disgust at the marginalization of, and treatment of children as if they were nothing more than emotionless, bipedaled pouches of meat incapable of having thoughts and feelings. Why is it that spousal abuse - be it physical, verbal, and/or psychological - is frowned upon with all vigorousness, and yet the physical and/or verbal abuse of children is seen as a non-issue which invariably is followed by moral backings that draws from a silly quotation in a silly book that says, "Spare the rod and spoil the child"?

Did you know that in the US, a parent is killed everyday by their own child? And that one of the causes usually is when a severely abused child gets pushed beyond his/her limits? Tell me, how much longer do you think it'd take before African children begin to toy with the idea of parricide?

We need to get proactive and curb this silent virus!

Nothing wrong with telling a child that you can't afford to purchase an item. Tell them that you always say the truth and never lie.

DarkRebel69:


All these can be subsumed under verbal abuse. The sad thing is that parents, (and, believe me you, mothers are most culpable) who repeatedly engage in this terrorizing act do not in many cases even realize the insidious effects their continued verbal assault have on their children's psyche and overall well-being.

Children are suggestible creatures ---- tabula rasa as John Locke once posited; and if you call a child an idiot for an extended period of time, the false notion that he/she is an idiōt is impressed upon the child and he/she starts to believe that he/she is truly an idiöt, and even starts to behave like an idiot. All the body needs is for the mind to be fully convinced that it is something which it truly is not.

The truth is that many Nigerian parents are mentally and emotionally unfit to raise children.
I recoil in disgust at the marginalization of, and treatment of children as if they were nothing more than emotionless, bipedaled pouches of meat incapable of having thoughts and feelings. Why is it that spousal abuse - be it physical, verbal, and/or psychological - is frowned upon with all vigorousness, and yet the physical and/or verbal abuse of children is seen as a non-issue which invariably is followed by moral backings that draws from a silly quotation in a silly book that says, "Spare the rod and spoil the child"?

Did you know that in the US, a parent is killed everyday by their own child? And that one of the causes usually is when a severely abused child gets pushed beyond his/her limits? Tell me, how much longer do you think it'd take before African children begin to toy with the idea of parricide?

We need to get proactive and curb this silent virus!

You are right, it seems Nigeria's society is just filled with abusers looking for an opportunity to abuse somebody even if it is a loved one.

blank:
Nothing wrong with telling a child that you can't afford to purchase an item. Tell them that you always say the truth and never lie.

I think it is the intonation not the comment. It is the comment that has made some kids desperate to go get money whatever way they can because they feel deprived or lacking.

maclatunji:


I think it is the intonation not the comment. It is the comment that has made some kids desperate to go get money whatever way they can because they feel deprived or lacking.

I don't agree with you. There are people lacking in means but they bring up children who are not desperate to make money in whatever way. That is caused by people's value system. Teach your kids to value hardwork and enjoy the rewards of such.

My first son has a goal to be rich. That is a legitimate aspiration. My job is to teach him to aspire to make it legitimately and learn to not just want money for the sake of having it.

blank:


I don't agree with you. There are people lacking in means but they bring up children who are not desperate to make money in whatever way. That is caused by people's value system. Teach your kids to value hardwork and enjoy the rewards of such.

My first son has a goal to be rich. That is a legitimate aspiration. My job is to teach him to aspire to make it legitimately and learn to not just want money for the sake of having it.

It is a total package. A struggling parent, may snap at a child consistently: 'I DON'T HAVE MONEY FOR THAT', 'I CANNOT AFFORD IT'.

Some children would let it go while others would grow up with the resentment of the poverty that makes/made them want for things. They may develop an unhealthy motivation to get rich at whatever cost.

It is already part of our society when you have people singing and having fans screaming- 'let me just have money'.

These youth think having money is the beginning and end of life.

Forget those abusive words used by some ajekpaco parents make their children hard nut to crack in d real world.

Life is nt a bed of roses, one shld be able to keep his head up irrespective of d storm u face

What of
1. you are stupid
2. you are behaving like APCs
3. is Lai Mohammed ur fada?

Curse or regret having them

PaperLace:
This your write-up na for ajebo kids, I was expecting to see things like
-Oloriburuku
-Arindin
-Ewu
-Onye iberibe
-I didn't kill my mother_you won't kill me
-Before you kill me, I will make sure I kill you first.
-I will disown you if you continue like this
-Did the person that carry first have two heads?"
-Good for nothing child.

Haba! That mother is a greedocracy

PaperLace:

You need to hear what comes out of some parents mouth, OP's list na child's play. On Sunday I saw a woman tell her child _ "my life would have been better if I didn't have you".

"I hate you" - never say this to a child

But practice does make perfect . Practicing in the sense that you make more improvements as you go

Me no understand oo

true talk

PaperLace:
This your write-up na for ajebo kids, I was expecting to see things like
-Oloriburuku
-Arindin
-Ewu
-Onye iberibe
-I didn't kill my mother_you won't kill me
-Before you kill me, I will make sure I kill you first.
-I will disown you if you continue like this
-Did the person that carry first have two heads?"
-Good for nothing child.

I was really here to see things like: I WILL KILL YOU TODAY BASTARD FOOL OLODO RABATA etc...

I disagree with you. All the five points are applicable at different times in a child's life. They are not absolute but they are applicable. you can tell your child practice makes perfect, if at first you don't succeed try, try again then quit there is no point making a fool of yourself, but again you can also tell your child keep trying like Abraham Lincoln or Buhari until you succeed, when the child grows up, they will apply the different scenarios where ever it applies. Also, if you cannot afford it, you should let your child know that. And so goes for all the rest of your points. The excellent value you should be focusing on are the religious ones, like dont lie dont cheat, dont be selfish etc.

Never knock ur child ad call him mumu..Im get effect

PaperLace:
This your write-up na for ajebo kids, I was expecting to see things like
-Oloriburuku
-Arindin
-Ewu
-Onye iberibe
-I didn't kill my mother_you won't kill me
-Before you kill me, I will make sure I kill you first.
-I will disown you if you continue like this
-Did the person that carry first have two heads?"
-Good for nothing child.

my mom tells me things a lot worse than this,.... those things that will make you fall into depression ...... I still love her tho

maclatunji:


LOL

So on point, me too

Give a child a free hand and he will put them into other's eyes, not excluding his seniors and elders, and you too.

I think that children of nowadays don't get enough constructive criticism and scolding;

It's all empty, whimsical and spontaneous abuses of psychologically absconding sugar fathers and mothers.

Organs:
I disagree with you. All the five points are applicable at different times in a child's life. They are not absolute but they are applicable. you can tell your child practice makes perfect, if at first you don't succeed try, try again then quit there is no point making a fool of yourself, but again you can also tell your child keep trying like Abraham Lincoln or Buhari until you succeed, when the child grows up, they will apply the different scenarios where ever it applies. Also, if you cannot afford it, you should let your child know that. And so goes for all the rest of your points. The excellent value you should be focusing on are the religious ones, like dont lie dont cheat, dont be selfish etc.

Religious ones abi. Wat bout those verse that tell u to hate infidels ehnn?? Abi all d niraland fvvckboys thier parents didnt teach dem religion??

Make dem no burst small pikin head?

maclatunji:


I think it is the intonation not the comment. It is the comment that has made some kids desperate to go get money whatever way they can because they feel deprived or lacking.

Human wants are insatiable

DarkRebel69:


All these can be subsumed under verbal abuse. The sad thing is that parents, (and, believe me you, mothers are most culpable) who repeatedly engage in this terrorizing act do not in many cases even realize the insidious effects their continued verbal assault have on their children's psyche and overall well-being.

Children are suggestible creatures ---- tabula rasa as John Locke once posited; and if you call a child an idiot for an extended period of time, the false notion that he/she is an idiōt is impressed upon the child and he/she starts to believe that he/she is truly an idiöt, and even starts to behave like an idiot. All the body needs is for the mind to be fully convinced that it is something which it truly is not.

The truth is that many Nigerian parents are mentally and emotionally unfit to raise children.
I recoil in disgust at the marginalization of, and treatment of children as if they were nothing more than emotionless, bipedaled pouches of meat incapable of having thoughts and feelings. Why is it that spousal abuse - be it physical, verbal, and/or psychological - is frowned upon with all vigorousness, and yet the physical and/or verbal abuse of children is seen as a non-issue which invariably is followed by moral backings that draws from a silly quotation in a silly book that says, "Spare the rod and spoil the child"?

Did you know that in the US, a parent is killed everyday by their own child? And that one of the causes usually is when a severely abused child gets pushed beyond his/her limits? Tell me, how much longer do you think it'd take before African children begin to toy with the idea of parricide?

We need to get proactive and curb this silent virus!

We discussed all you posted in my last Psychology of parenting class.

flamingREED:
Give a child a free hand and he will put them into other's eyes, not excluding his seniors and elders, and you too.

I think that children of nowadays don't get enough constructive criticism and scolding;

It's all empty, whimsical and spontaneous abuses of psychologically absconding sugar fathers and mothers.

The full abuses that you received from your parents, what have you done with it. The most sensitive beings on earth are children, new to this world, they need things explained to them. You will be amazed at their thought process which is mostly inquisitive are at this stage. It takes a lot of patient, love, maturity and some firmness to bring up a child in the way they shouldne brought... Sadly the Nigerian folks dont seem to have these traits.

PaperLace:

You need to hear what comes out of some parents mouth, OP's list na child's play. On Sunday I saw a woman tell her child _ "my life would have been better if I didn't have you".

a lady friend of mine in church said she doesn't know how her daughter entered her stomach and she gave birth too her..

The girl stubborness no be here ooo.. 4 years girl ooo..