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A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him - Family - Nairaland

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A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by Nobody: 3:22pm On Jan 10, 2015
This broke my heart, guys. It's a true life story so pleaseee don't talk carelessly. Our blog reader direly needs our advice. He is gay and recently got exposed in the most heartbreaking way. He feels so ashamed and is contemplating suicide. Please search your heart and do drop your most sincere advice below. Please.
Dear Laila.. good day..I have a big problem..it's like the world is falling on my head...my life is shattered, I don't know what to do and who to run to..... 
A guy in our opposite street gave my number to some hooligans and they added me on whatsapp and started chatting with me....We chatted for like 2 weeks and we planned to meet to have sex coz I started feeling attracted to him...He told me to come to a guest house but I refused because it would raise suspicion for two guys to enter a room... 
I told him we can't meet there then he told me to come to his house that his house was free...it was then I knew something was wrong because if he knew his house was free, why did he then suggest we meet at a guest house? So I started ignoring him.... 
The next day I was in my house wen my phone rang (6th January) and he said he wanted
to see me... I told him we couldn't see and he hung up...the next thing they came to my house..he and four other boys...they came to my house and I was so scared because my mum was at home. 
When she confronted them they said they must see me...I came out and they started raising their voice that they want to take me to the community town hall and beat me to death and strip me naked and hand me to the police....my brother, I started shivering... 
I was so scared coz I was born in a Christian home...my parents are both workers in Deeper Life Bible church...so my mum started crying and calming them down...they started reading out my chat with the boy and they framed it as if I was the one trying to seduce him....I couldn't talk because they were 5 in number and all of them are bad boys.... 
My brothers came and my immediate elder brother stood for me on the grounds that they didn't catch me in the act...they were like he will explain that to the police because it was obvious that gayness was written all over me because of my effeminate lifestyle...I tried to hold my other brother but he pushed me away and walked out of the house..At this point I thought I was going to die.... 
I wept, they started asking me to list all my partners. My mum said I should answer them lest they get provoked...I told them I didn't have any partners around that all my partners were in my secondary boarding school and that they were far away..they threatened me all to no avail....after everything, mum said they should take me to church instead of the police..she was crying and begging them... they took my phone and my mum gave them N1000.... 
They came back in the evening fully dressed and I had to follow them to church along with my brother...when the pastor said repentant sinners should come out they told me to go out.....after everything my mum took me to two different pastors..they prayed heaven and earth for me casting out the gay spirit (according to them) in me... 
My mum has read the Bible a thousand times to me since the day before yesterday till now...my dad came back from his journey last night and my mum told him everything....He woke me around 5 this morning and talked to me till 7:30..... I'm so scared now... 
I promised them that I'm a changed person that I'm now a new creature and they have forgiven me...I don't feel safe here anymore..I have not eaten for almost 2 days and I don't even have appetite...I feel like a stranger in my home... 
My childhood friends both boys and girls who love me the way I am have visited me and consoled me coz I have been shedding uncontrollable tears...they even wanted to arrange boys to go to the next street and obtain my phone back but I told them no....coz I don't wanna aggravate the issue.... 
what has been ringing in my mind since last night is suicide...I don't have any reason to live again..my life is over.... Dear Laila....pls I need advice...I'm so scared.
http://www.lailasblog.com/2015/01/omg-blog-reader-is-gay-and-wants-to.html?m=1
Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by Nobody: 3:22pm On Jan 10, 2015
..
Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by mikkyjagga1(m): 3:36pm On Jan 10, 2015
Hmm, this one tough sha, and I can't say much cos I don't understand how a male can b attracted to another, bt God is the comforter of all, it's time to get closer to him and ask him for help and a new life, everything will work out!
Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by jingh(f): 3:46pm On Jan 10, 2015
don't commit suicide.
move closer to God.
and go for some counseling

1 Like

Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by Truth24(m): 3:52pm On Jan 10, 2015
Suicide is never an option....
Since u've repented and seen d light and good enough ur family has forgiven u , pls cheer up...D fear u're passing through now is just a state of mind, with time it will die off...
Last Bullet;
Life is Precious... Suicide is a sin, u won't be saved in d afterlife either

1 Like 1 Share

Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by EfemenaXY: 4:10pm On Jan 10, 2015
This is so sad.

There's not much point giving any advice since the writer isn't even going to read it here.

Anyway, all I can say at the moment is that he needs his family more than ever to pull through this stage. You do not cast out / cure gayness. That is just plain silly talk.

The best they can do is to try and understand him and his difference / preference by supporting and not judging him. He is who he is and they should all learn to accept him. It's the rejection, humiliation, and ostracizing that's making the poor guy entertain thoughts of ending it all. i.e: suicide.

5 Likes

Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by dannydaniels(m): 4:11pm On Jan 10, 2015
eiyhaaa..... cry cry cry cry.....but gay no be beta tin naa change abeg
Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by Nobody: 4:31pm On Jan 10, 2015
IF HE REALLY DESIRES TO COMMIT SUICIDE, HE'D HAVE DONE IT ALREADY...

Anyway instead of dying, you can contact that your Gae Brother on FP yesterday, am sure he'd be glad to "HELP"

1 Like

Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by alentyno: 4:39pm On Jan 10, 2015
lipsrsealed
Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by baybiemee: 4:49pm On Jan 10, 2015
Give your life to Christ.
Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by ejlee(m): 5:14pm On Jan 10, 2015
Suicide is not the Answer instead go into 16 days fasting n prayer n breaking every 6pm daily use Psalm for ur Reading.... Coming Soon I share a Gay story about my friend
Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by ejlee(m): 5:17pm On Jan 10, 2015
Suicide is not the Answer instead go into 16 days fasting n prayer n breaking every 6pm daily use Psalm for ur Reading.... Coming Soon I will share a Gay story about my friend
Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by Nobody: 5:27pm On Jan 10, 2015
Bleep Those ass-holes who came to his house in order to lynch him.
TIRED of hearing shit like this.
YOUR mates have better things to do with their lives than go around trying to crucifying people!!!
HE did not steal your money, HE did not take anything of yours, HE did not rape you
WHY on earth will you claim to come over and beat him up
HIS parents are foolish.. giving those boys 1000 naira!
Bleep them they dont deserve any fucking cash they deserve cash to be taken INSTEAD from them
Times like this I wish i had a gun and i will shoot every fucking one of them

6 Likes

Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by undercat: 5:42pm On Jan 10, 2015
I think he needs a change of environment. That should help with the feelings of shame. Given time, this incident will appear less painful and he'll laugh at the thought that he ever considered suicide over it. Tell him to just hang in there. If this seems like the pits, then there's nowhere to go but up.
Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by hahn(m): 5:50pm On Jan 10, 2015
Scaredsilent:
Bleep Those ass-holes who came to his house in order to lynch him.
TIRED of hearing shit like this.
YOUR mates have better things to do with their lives than go around trying to crucifying people!!!
HE did not steal your money, HE did not take anything of yours, HE did not rape you
WHY on earth will you claim to come over and beat him up
HIS parents are foolish.. giving those boys 1000 naira!
Bleep them they dont deserve any fucking cash they deserve cash to be taken INSTEAD from them
Times like this I wish i had a gun and i will shoot every fucking one of them


Those same guys will claim that the police is not good when they are harrassed for no reason. If a guy wants to get ripped apart by another guy, that's his own business. I guess they are also victims of an unproductive societyas well

3 Likes

Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by Nobody: 5:50pm On Jan 10, 2015
OsHYBRID:
IF HE REALLY DESIRES TO COMMIT SUICIDE, HE'D HAVE DONE IT ALREADY...

Anyway instead of dying, you can contact that your Gae Brother on FP yesterday, am sure he'd be glad to "HELP"
loolz grin grin
Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by drisatasarr: 6:55pm On Jan 10, 2015
The best advise you can give is SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP. Suicide is not something you joke about or take on unless you are trained.
Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by GSKing: 9:35pm On Jan 10, 2015
When you're gay in Nigeria, you'd realise that this life isn't really worth living. It's worse for effeminate guys and butch girls.


Things will get better, people will change, and you have to stay alive to see it.


Better days ahead.

6 Likes

Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by Nobody: 9:50pm On Jan 10, 2015
Jonathan will forever have blood on his hands.

Don't know what write but I'll recommend the movie Prayers for Bobby to both the boy and the family.It's a true life story.If his family knows better they won't subject him to such humiliation but he on the other hand will survive no matter,as long as you draw breath.

It may be hard to cope with people,your family or even the everyday sunlight but you can survive,just be wise,you may not like it presently but family means a lot.

2 Likes

Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by beryl04(m): 10:03pm On Jan 10, 2015
hang in there ,u are not alone .in time u'll laugh over all this.there's a lot to live for really.keep calm and safe.i am short of words!

1 Like

Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by cococandy(f): 12:07am On Jan 11, 2015
Move away from that area as soon as you can when you can.
But for now,hang in there and try to love yourself because I understand how that kind of humiliation from holier-than-thou folks can make you feel worthless.
Self pity won't help you.

All in all I thank God for your life. You would most certainly be dead now if you had gone to meet that guy with hopes that he's into you.
Painfully many who heard of your death would have said you deserved it.
That's how hateful the holy people trying to 'deliver' you are.

Be extra vigilant henceforth and try find things to keep you occupied to steer your thoughts from suicide.

7 Likes

Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by soulglo: 4:49am On Jan 11, 2015
cococandy:
Move away from that area as soon as you can when you can.
But for now,hang in there and try to love yourself because I understand how that kind of humiliation from holier-than-thou folks can make you feel worthless.
Self pity won't help you.

All in all I thank God for your life. You would most certainly be dead now if you had gone to meet that guy with hopes that he's into you.
Painfully many who heard of your death would have said you deserved it.
That's how hateful the holy people trying to 'deliver' you are.

Be extra vigilant henceforth and try find things to keep you occupied to steer your thoughts from suicide.

True. He is not safe there. You need to move and say bye to that neighborhood. The people who came to your home actually committed a crime. It's time you stand on your own two feet. Your brother who stood up for you is probably the only one you should give your contact info to. If you can I suggest you have your brother who is sympathetic to file a case with the police. You might be able to use this as grounds to secure a way out of the country. If you are effeminate then you will never be totally safe in Nigeria. Good luck. I'll keep you in my prayers

2 Likes

Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by Nobody: 7:15am On Jan 11, 2015
The one and only good advice for this brother is: leave Nigeria, if you can. Try get yourself to any western country. The US, France (not the arab or black banlieus), Germany is particularly good, the UK. Find a good western country and get yourself there through education, scholarships, asylum, marriage, etc. As long as your remain in the homophobic country called Nigeria or in any parts of Africa, your life and your self-esteem will constantly be in danger. They'd kill you at the drop of an hat and they'd shout Hallelujah while doing it.

I know couple of gay friends outside the country and can provide you needed assistance if you want.

2 Likes

Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by Nobody: 9:55am On Jan 11, 2015
Some gay rights activists have taken up the issue and are currently looking for the guy to the best of my knowledge. I don't think he provided the blogger with details to reach him. I just hope they (the activists) can work out an asylum case for him, or probably relocate him to some other area, cos I don't see him feeling safe in that place again

People say they don't like gay people, yet they're the ones hunting for gay people. Everyone is preaching hate so I'm not surprised that our generation is laced with youths that would see it as fun to dupe people, cause them pain just cos they can, and cos the government is indirectly supporting it.

We'll survive.

5 Likes

Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by Nobody: 9:58am On Jan 11, 2015
This is even the more reason why I hate religion.

What, exactly, has all the preaching and bible reading done to help this guy after the scenario. Way too many emotional damages.

Mheeeen

4 Likes

Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by Nobody: 10:03am On Jan 11, 2015
This one is strong o..
In life we all face one problem or another.. You just got to be strong..
Suicide is never an option.
Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by Nobody: 10:35am On Jan 11, 2015
masonkz:
Some gay activists have taken up the issue and are currently working on it, to the best of my knowledge. I just hope they can work out an asylum case for him, or probably relocate him to some other area, cos I don't see him feeling safe in that place again

People say they don't like gay people, yet they're the ones hunting for gay people. Everyone is preaching hate so I'm not surprised that our generation is laced with youths that would see it as fun to dupe people, cause them pain just cos they can, and cos the government is indirectly supporting it.

We'll survive.

That's good news. When he's out in some sane western country, he could decide what his future will be like. Nigeria is clearly no place for gays. Clearly.
Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by Nobody: 10:38am On Jan 11, 2015
cococandy:
Move away from that area as soon as you can when you can.
But for now,hang in there and try to love yourself because I understand how that kind of humiliation from holier-than-thou folks can make you feel worthless.
Self pity won't help you.

All in all I thank God for your life. You would most certainly be dead now if you had gone to meet that guy with hopes that he's into you.
Painfully many who heard of your death would have said you deserved it.
That's how hateful the holy people trying to 'deliver' you are.

Be extra vigilant henceforth and try find things to keep you occupied to steer your thoughts from suicide.
Liking this post is not enough, perfectly put
Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by Nobody: 10:45am On Jan 11, 2015
One out of many. So sad!

He's gay. He's effeminate. And you think reading the bible and preaching will change his orientation? What do people even see 'gayism' as? A diabolical situation? Those street urchins that took the guy to the church, are they really closer to God than he is? I'm sure they've been telling him how bad gayism is and how God destroyed Sodom thus making him to reject himself more and more, killing him psychologically! Poor thing.

He told them he's changed just to be accepted knowing quite well one doesn't change a congenital sexual orientation! They'd rather accept a fake him! Of course, he'd still suffer rejection!

You are woman, your child has been effeminate from the onset, you later found out he's gay and you still think it was his choice and that you could talk him out of it! Tell me, did the guy turn manly after the prayers?

Accept your child or stand the risk of losing him. Self deceit will not take us anywhere.

For goodness sake, if you aren't gay, you may never understand what it means to be one!!!! Let us be, we didn't create ourselves!!! Please!



Please.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by Chuksemi(m): 12:09pm On Jan 11, 2015
The quest for knowledge is indeed very important. So many people are ignorant, here in Nigeria!

4 Likes

Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by lilmax(m): 12:24pm On Jan 11, 2015
Be fast with it please smiley
Re: A Gay Wants To Commit Suicide. Advice Him by bennyrazz: 12:37pm On Jan 11, 2015
what does he need to commit the suicide? rope? Rat killer? otapiapia? indosid? tyre? he should just name it and it will be provided within a twinkle of an eye grin

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