Walking down the road one afternoon on a scorching sun, I was coming back from an interview where I was aspiring for the post of a distributor manager in one popular company.
The sun was radiantly smiling at me, heating me up with it flambouyant illuminations.

I decided to find a cool spot to ease up my body and find something to gulp or better still a nice treat to cool off my hunger and thirst.

After searching around maybe I can find resturants or a fast food spot, I didn't see any. But eventually after a thorough search i saw a Bar, but not just a bar, but a mordernised one, full of anything drinkable.

I went inside and after some seconds the Bartender came up to me and asked for my order. I decided to keep it simple and fast cos of the hunger devouring me.

Bartender: "good afternoon sir".
Me: "good afternoon".
Bartender: "what would you like to have sir? We have so many drinks sir, ranging from tea, cappuccino, coffee, wine, vodka, beer, champagne and the likes sir".
Me: "well, just give me a chilled coffee".
Bartender: interesting sir! What varieties do you want sir? Black coffee or white coffee"?

For my mind I was like, is there anything such as white coffee? All the coffees i've been seeing are made of black. So, I decided to stick to the one i'm use to.

Me: "black coffee would be great".
Bartender: "nice choice sir. How do you want it sir, ordinary or milk"?
Me: "milk would be better".
Bartender: "cool sir, is it cow milk or goat milk"?

I was like, see question ooo...'every milk no be milk'? But i complied.

Me: "cow milk is better".
Bartender: "fantastic sir, is it Africana cow or Freseener cow"?

Now, I was begining to lose patience because of the hunger that's killing me, then I complained.

Me: "pls bartender, i'm geting tired of all this question you are asking me. Every milk is milk, just put milk and that's all".
Bartender: "i'm very sorry sir, but we have to make sure you are satisfied".
Me: "I hear oo".
Bartender: "how do you want it sir? Is it with sugar, sweetner or honey"?
Me: "just put sugar".
Bartender: "white sugar or brown sugar"?
Me: "nawa ooo, put white sugar".
Bartender: alrite sir. Cube sugar or countless sugar"?

Suddenly, I stood up and I busted.

Me: "guy wetin happen? Gimme coffee u no gimme, na question u dey ask. Which kind milk make i put, which kind sugar make I put. Shey every sugar no b sugar? Cube sugar o, cone sugar o, countless sugar, uncountless sugar, Dangote sugar o, Adenuga sugar o, every sugar na sugar. U know wetin self, i no want coffee again just gimme a glass of water".

Then He started begging me.

Bartender: "please, i'm very sorry sir, please just have your seat sir, please".

Then, I calmed down a bit and I settled down.

Me: "ok now, just give me a glass of water".
Bartender: "alrite sir, but sir, what kind of water do you want? Distilled water, mineral water, table water or satchet water"?
Me: "kai, omo wahala dey ooo...ok, give me Mineral water and I want it now"!
Bartender: "interesting sir, but before that sir, what type sir? Flavoured or non flavoured"?
Me: (and i busted again). "so glass of water don turn flavoured abi? Flavour ko phyno ni...see I no even want again, just gimme an empty glass".
Bartender: "Empty glass is also nice sir, but you have to choose one. Wine glass, tumbler, champagne flute or beer mug"?
Me: (i no answer am) *looking at him lyk i should just give him a hot slap*
Bartender: "sir, I said do you want a beer mug, champagne flute, tumbl....."
Me: (i cut him short) "guy, u don dey craze, don't worry, dey go, i go swallow my spit. Thank you, I go swallow my spit...idiott".

Then I walk out of the bar and head home, hungry as ever.

What a day!