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We Say No To Child-marriage! - Religion - Nairaland

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We Say No To Child-marriage! by Nobody: 11:17am On Feb 07, 2015
Saudi Arabia continues to allow old men to marry young girls aged eight years old and upwards. The mantra by Muslims and converts to Islam, is that Islam equals morality and that Mohammed is a great role model but this depends on your interpretation of a good role model?  Therefore, with Saudi Arabia supporting Islamic Sharia law and believing that society should be based on what Mohammed did and stated in the Hadiths, it is clear that child marriage is sanctioned because Mohammed also married a child.

This reality is creating a problem for the Guardians of Mecca and Medina in Saudi Arabia. If this nation modernizes, then it may be seen to be pandering to Western morals and increasing the age of marriage will be challenged by conservative Sunni Islamic leaders in Saudi Arabia.

Ironically, the people who use the “Islamophobia card” are basically trying to prevent individuals speaking out against Islamic Sharia law. This is despite the fact that Islamic Sharia law and the Hadiths support pedophilia, killing homosexuals, killing apostates, chopping hands and feet off for petty crimes, stoning people to death for adultery, and other draconian laws. All these draconian measures are based on the life and sayings of Mohammed.

Therefore, if people are deemed to be “Islamophobic” for fighting against the brutal reality of many Islamic states which are based on hatred and supporting the abuse of children, apostates, homosexuals, and others; then in a world based on justice and morality the overwhelming majority of people should be deemed to be “Islamophobic.”

However, democratic nations, the mass media on a whole, international child advocates, and major institutions like the United Nations are not doing enough to fight against a legal system which clearly discriminates against non-Muslims and allows children to be married to old men.

More surprisingly is that major religious leaders, irrespective if they are Christian, Buddhist, or whatever, appear to be fearful of speaking out against this injustice. The political correct brigade and “trendy left” and “trendy liberals” appear to have “sold their soul” because if anyone speaks out against the brutal reality of Sharia Islamic law then they are deemed to be “Islamophobic.”

However, it is the political correct brigade, “trendy left” and “trendy liberals” who have joined forces with a legal system and a religion which supports pedophilia; killing homosexuals; supporting the notion that a female testimony is unequal in law; killing or victimizing apostates; and supporting a dhimmitude system which states that non-Muslims are unequal.

Not only this, it is only Islamic sources which are being used by individuals who fear the growing threat of Islamic Sharia law.  Despite this, freedom to counter the reality of Islamic Sharia law in nations like Saudi Arabia or rebuking the most draconian aspects of this legal system is being crushed by political correctness and moral relativism.

Therefore, despite a raped teenager being stoned to death in Somalia by Sunni Islamists; converts to Christianity being beheaded in Somalia; homosexuals being hanged in Iran; women facing being whipped in Saudi Arabia for not covering up; non-Muslim men facing the death penalty if marrying a Muslim female in several Islamic Sharia law based nations; old men marrying young girls in nations like Saudi Arabia and Yemen; people facing the death penalty in Pakistan for blasphemy; and so much more, including the unequal testimony of women and chopping hands and feet off; this hatred is being allowed because of the weakness of nations and the failure of people to confront this reality.

Turning back to Saudi Arabia, in an earlier article by Modern Tokyo Times it was stated that “On the one hand the Saudi Arabian legal system of Islamic law supports killing people for adultery and homosexuality. However, on the other hand it is deemed to be Islamic to marry a young child of 8 years of age or 9 years of age, irrespective if the male is 30 years old or 40 years old, or even older. Surely these morals are twisted?”

“Before focusing even more on the strange morals of the Saudi Arabian legal system it is vital to state why child marriages are allowed. This of course applies to Mohammed. “After all, when Mohammed, the prophet of Islam, was 49 years of age he married a 6 year old child called Aisha. When Aisha was 9 years old and Mohammed was 52 years old, he consummated the marriage.”

“Therefore, this sets a major problem for the conservative Islamic religious leaders in Saudi Arabia because they want to govern society by the laws of Islamic Sharia Law and the Hadiths. If they support increasing the age of marriage like the majority of mainly Muslim nations have done, then how does this fit in with the legal system being based on the teachings of Mohammed?”

This is a real problem for Saudi Arabia because the majority of Muslim nations have introduced laws which protect children by increasing the marriage age.  Also, more secularized Muslim majority nations have introduced reforms whereby the most draconian aspects of Sharia Islamic law have been rejected.

However, many conservative and radical Islamic organizations in the so-called Muslim world and within Western nations desire to re-introduce the most draconian aspects of Islamic Sharia law.

Turning back to Saudi Arabia and allowing old men to marry young girls then clearly this is based on the Hadiths. The following quotes are from highly acclaimed Islamic scholars and these Hadiths have been known since the early days of Islam.

“Narrated Aisha: The prophet engaged me when I was a girl of six. We went to Medina and stayed at the home of Harith Kharzraj” and it continues that “Unexpectedly Allah’s Messenger came to me in the forenoon and my mother handed me over to him, and at that time I was a girl of nine years of age.” Sahih Al-Bukhari states in volume 5, 234

“Aisha reported: Allah’s Messenger married me when I was six years old, and I was admitted to his house at the age of nine…..” Muslim, volume 2, 3309

“Narrated Aisha: that the prophet married her when she was six years old and he consummated his marriage when she was nine years old.” Al-Bukhari

Therefore, the Hadiths vindicate religious leaders and the kingdom’s Grand Mufti, Sheikh Abdul Aziz al-Sheikh, commented that “A girl aged 10 or 12 can be married. Those who think she’s too young are wrong and they are being unfair to her.” From an Islamic point of view and based on what Mohammed did, then the Grand Mufti is technically correct – however, how is this moral and why no reformation like in other faiths?

In an earlier article it was stated that “…a judge in Saudi Arabia justified the right of an 8 year-old child to marry a man of 47 years of age. Even after the mother signed a petition to demand the annulment of the marriage, the judge still refused because of the teachings of Islam. Therefore the judge, Sheikh Habib Abdallah al-Habib, refused openly to annul the marriage and in his eyes it is morally right to marry a child to an old man.”

In the modern world you still have seven Islamic Sharia law based nations where apostasy is punishable by death.  Also, in nations like Saudi Arabia men who are very old are allowed to marry young girls.  Therefore, it is time for nations like Saudi Arabia to be challenged and the same applies to societies which sanction child marriage to old men.

Also, in modern day Saudi Arabia many Muslim citizens are fed-up and ashamed by religious clerics and some brave human rights organizations in this nation desire change.  It is vital that their voice is heard and supported.



Rilwayne001 Abuamam Empiree Zeezahbee Tartar
Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Nobody: 11:21am On Feb 07, 2015
But why do you care what Saudi Arabia does? Its their country and their culture. Its not for you to criticise as you please.

1 Like

Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Nobody: 11:26am On Feb 07, 2015
YourMain:
But why do you care what Saudi Arabia does? Its their country and their culture. Its not for you to criticise as you please.
ma dear, wad happens in saudi affects nigeria. Many children in d north re at d mercu of all dis rapist. U hear of grls bin raped by all dis pigs, d kano case is still fresh. So stop acting like someone dat don't know wad up

3 Likes

Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Nobody: 11:43am On Feb 07, 2015
OREMUSSANCTUS:
ma dear, wad happens in saudi affects nigeria. Many children in d north re at d mercu of all dis rapist. U hear of grls bin raped by all dis pigs, d kano case is still fresh. So stop acting like someone dat don't know wad up

Hahaha that makes no sense whatsoever. So Nigerians Dont have common sense. Because the people in Saudi rape that means they should do it too? Why should it affect Nigeria. How are those two countries related in any way?
Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Nobody: 11:54am On Feb 07, 2015
YourMain:


Hahaha that makes no sense whatsoever. So Nigerians Dont have common sense. Because the people in Saudi rape that means they should do it too? Why should it affect Nigeria. How are those two countries related in any way?
ma dear, muslims follow d hadith and koran to d letters. Muhammed thighed a 6 years old grl, and raped her at d age of 9 years old. Its in d korna, and dat is y dhe allow children to marry old men cos d prophet did it. U ve google and read abt it on islamic site, search for it. And stop being a kid.

1 Like

Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Nobody: 12:04pm On Feb 07, 2015
OREMUSSANCTUS:
ma dear, muslims follow d hadith and koran to d letters. Muhammed thighed a 6 years old grl, and raped her at d age of 9 years old. Its in d korna, and dat is y dhe allow children to marry old men cos d prophet did it. U ve google and read abt it on islamic site, search for it. And stop being a kid.

I am a Muslim actually. And Muhammad didn't rape her. At the age of Nine. She was a woman. Honestly I haven't seen a religion that respects women the way Islam does.

Did he make it compulsory no. He's not forcing anyone to marry a nine year old. You have no right to give out. And since when is Nigeria an Islamic state. Maybe if y'all had proper laws and rules that wouldn't happen to yous.

1 Like

Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Nobody: 12:16pm On Feb 07, 2015
YourMain:


I am a Muslim actually. And Muhammad didn't rape her. At the age of Nine. She was a woman. Honestly I haven't seen a religion that respects women the way Islam does.

Did he make it compulsory no. He's not forcing anyone to marry a nine year old. You have no right to give out. And since when is Nigeria an Islamic state. Maybe if y'all had proper laws and rules that wouldn't happen to yous.
so re ya saying ya will allow a man as old as 54 years old to sex ya nine years old daughter? Y saying islam respects women, how? By allowing a man commit adultery, by allowing a man to beat his wife? Come on tell me! I pity u, so ya will be happy if ya husband marryz ya as a fourth wife? Ya koran u know sucks, filled wif d sex escapade of a rapist. Imagine, a prophet saying ya can beat ya wife and ya call dat respect. Now ve seen how foolish and blind ya people re. U may end up marrying a polygamist wif dis ya mentality. And ya dere deceiving yaself dat u want a man dat will marry only ya and no one else while ya koran ask ya husbands to marry 4 wives and wen he does dat ya start crying, ya shld be smiling and happy dat moon god has made it so. And a prophet dat allows a man to divorce a woman in order to marry anoda wife is nonsense. A prophet dat married his daughter in law is mad and insane, a prophet dat raped slaves is a bastard. If truly dey practise shariah, ma dear ya won't survive cos u will be wearing hijab all tru and ya will be smiling under like mad. Stop being an hypocrite and be realistic. Again, will ya allya sister or daughter to marry and ve sex to a man as old as 54 years while ya sis or daughter is 9 years old?

2 Likes

Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by mmsen: 1:00pm On Feb 07, 2015
If these so called 'democratic' nations are so concerned then they should cease trading with Saudi et al.

Of course we know that they will not because no one does hypocrisy quite like the Europeans.

1 Like

Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Nobody: 1:41pm On Feb 07, 2015
YourMain:


I am a Muslim actually. And Muhammad didn't rape her. At the age of Nine. She was a woman. Honestly I haven't seen a religion that respects women the way Islam does.

Did he make it compulsory no. He's not forcing anyone to marry a nine year old. You have no right to give out. And since when is Nigeria an Islamic state. Maybe if y'all had proper laws and rules that wouldn't happen to yous.
go and enter ya mosque and stay were men stay to pray, dem go chop ya head off. Imagine, ya see ya periods and dey tell ya don't go to mosque ya unclean. I pity ya, imagine ya dad marries 4 wives and imagine wad and how ya mum wld feel. Ask ya mum if she will allow a second wife not to talk of 4th, and if ya dad marries 4 wives its not is fault buh islam says so, and he's entitled to it. So open ya mind and don't be lind to wadz happening, dey marry ya and rape ya while dem kid go to skool abroad and marry at a ripe age wif better work. U and ya kinds ends up teenage modas and illetrate, u now ask yaself whoz d fool?
I guess ya know d answer
Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Nobody: 2:16pm On Feb 07, 2015
OREMUSSANCTUS:
so re ya saying ya will allow a man as old as 54 years old to sex ya nine years old daughter? Y saying islam respects women, how? By allowing a man commit adultery, by allowing a man to beat his wife? Come on tell me! I pity u, so ya will be happy if ya husband marryz ya as a fourth wife? Ya koran u know sucks, filled wif d sex escapade of a rapist. Imagine, a prophet saying ya can beat ya wife and ya call dat respect. Now ve seen how foolish and blind ya people re. U may end up marrying a polygamist wif dis ya mentality. And ya dere deceiving yaself dat u want a man dat will marry only ya and no one else while ya koran ask ya husbands to marry 4 wives and wen he does dat ya start crying, ya shld be smiling and happy dat moon god has made it so. And a prophet dat allows a man to divorce a woman in order to marry anoda wife is nonsense. A prophet dat married his daughter in law is mad and insane, a prophet dat raped slaves is a bastard. If truly dey practise shariah, ma dear ya won't survive cos u will be wearing hijab all tru and ya will be smiling under like mad. Stop being an hypocrite and be realistic. Again, will ya allya sister or daughter to marry and ve sex to a man as old as 54 years while ya sis or daughter is 9 years old?

I'm guessing you've never actually read the scriptures. You seem to be just narrating what you've heard from others.

I'm speaking from personal experience. I'm Muslim. My parents are Muslim. My father has one wife and has never lay hands on her. I know a lot of Muslims considering I am one. None of whom have been raped or live in polygamous homes. Id like to see the verse in the Quran where Muhammad raped anyone or beat any of his wives. Like you're one to talk. You're Nigerian I'm pretty sure your parents beat you all your life till you're mature. Muhammad never forced anyone to marry him. If it is what she wants and I know it is okay then who am I to complain.

Hahaa please has a woman ever told you she's being oppressed wearing the hijab. Who's asking for your opinion. It has no effect on your life. I'd ask you to mind your own business and follow your own faith.

1 Like

Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Nobody: 2:24pm On Feb 07, 2015
OREMUSSANCTUS:
go and enter ya mosque and stay were men stay to pray, dem go chop ya head off. Imagine, ya see ya periods and dey tell ya don't go to mosque ya unclean. I pity ya, imagine ya dad marries 4 wives and imagine wad and how ya mum wld feel. Ask ya mum if she will allow a second wife not to talk of 4th, and if ya dad marries 4 wives its not is fault buh islam says so, and he's entitled to it. So open ya mind and don't be lind to wadz happening, dey marry ya and rape ya while dem kid go to skool abroad and marry at a ripe age wif better work. U and ya kinds ends up teenage modas and illetrate, u now ask yaself whoz d fool?
I guess ya know d answer

Again, my father is a Muslim. And I live abroad. If you had read the scriptures you'd know it's not a situation of ' I want another wife so I'll get one'. There are conditions that come with acquiring another wife. Still better than y'all that cheat on your wife.

Haha again I have never heard of any girl that is opressed by not praying during her period lol. And also, you're allowed go to the mosque. Just not pray. Haha women and men are divided. That's the rule and it has brought more good than bad.

Hahahahah illetrate. Look at the way you're speaking. So much grammatical bluders and I'm the illetrate one. Please.
Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Nobody: 2:25pm On Feb 07, 2015
YourMain:


I'm guessing you've never actually read the scriptures. You seem to be just narrating what you've heard from others.

I'm speaking from personal experience. I'm Muslim. My parents are Muslim. My father has one wife and has never lay hands on her. I know a lot of Muslims considering I am one. None of whom have been raped or live in polygamous homes. Id like to see the verse in the Quran where Muhammad raped anyone or beat any of his wives. Like you're one to talk. You're Nigerian I'm pretty sure your parents beat you all your life till you're mature. Muhammad never forced anyone to marry him. If it is what she wants and I know it is okay then who am I to complain.

Hahaa please has a woman ever told you she's being oppressed wearing the hijab. Who's asking for your opinion. It has no effect on your life. I'd ask you to mind your own business and follow your own faith.
If ever there has been a controversial verse in the Holy Qur'an, it certainly is verse 4:34. Used by opponents of Islam to label this religion woman-unfriendly (to put it mildly), Muslims themselves are struggling with interpreting it. For yes, let us agree about this: there is no such thing as “the” one and only correct interpretation of the Word of Allah – only Allah knows what He meant. We can only try to understand. And in this particular case, an alternative for the troublesome interpretations of this verse may bring us a bit closer to that objective.

Let us have a look at a (partial) translation of this verse 1:

"Men are the {qawwam} of women, because Allah has given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are {qanitat}, and guard in the husband's absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear {nushuz}, admonish them first, then refuse to share their beds, and finally {adriboo} them; but when they {ataa:} to you, then seek not against them means of annoyance: For Allah is Most High, great above you all. "


Disobedient women?

The key word to answer this question is {qanitat}, which is a feminine plural of {qanit}, based on the root {q-n-t}. This word appears on many other occasions in the Holy Qur'an 2, where it is used exclusively in the sense of 'submissive, obedient to Allah'. Verse 4:34 contains no reason at all to depart from this meaning and to change it into 'obedience to a husband'. This verse is about pious women who, just like pious men, are obedient to Allah. And a wife (husband) who is obedient to God, must live up to her (his) marital duties.

Superior husband and inferior wife?

Throughout the Holy Qur'an, Allah emphasizes that men and women are equal for Him – Allah will judge them in exactly the same way 3. So it would be strange indeed if a verse would contradict this equality. But is that really the case here? The Arabic word used is {qawwam}, an intensive form of {qaim}, meaning: 'to take care of, to look after'. Therefore, does this verse say that men are superior to women? Not at all. It says: men must look after women. In Islam, men are obliged to financially provide for their wife and children. They have to pay for their housing, clothing, food, medicines, etc. That is what {qawwamoona} means: men must take care of women.

Misbehaviour?

Is this verse about what a man should do when his wife 'misbehaves'? The exact word used here, {nushuz}, means 'discord, hostiliy, dissonance'. In this context it could be interpreted as 'marital problems'.

Beating his wife?

The verse instructs a husband whose wife causes problems in their marriage to first talk to her about it, then leave the marital bed, then {adriboo} his wife, and all of this in view of pursueing a reconciliation as is evident from the subsequent verse 4:35.

The Arabic word used here, {adriboo}, from the root {d-r-b}, has several dozens of meanings, such as: 'to beat', but also: 'to forsake, to avoid, to leave'.

How do we know which interpretation to choose? One way to find out, is to relate this verse to other verses in the Holy Qur'an and to check if the meanings make sense. In this case, let us look at verse 24:2, which describes what should be done in case of adultery :

"The woman and the man guilty of adultery or fornication,- flog each of them with a hundred stripes..." (Holy Qur'an 24:2)4

This verse establishes the principle that for men and women, equal actions lead to equal punishment. When for adultery men and women must receive equal punishment, surely there is no reason why they should be treated differently for any lesser marital problem.

Now let us take a look at the consequences of interpreting {adriboo} one way or another.

Suppose {adriboo} means: 'to beat'.

In this case, verse 4:34 says that when a wife causes a problem in the marriage, her husband should first talk to her about it, then leave their bed, then beat her and all of this in view of increasing his chances of a reconciliation. On the emotional level, this certainly does not sound like a very promising course of action. So let us check this meaning against the bigger framework and in particular against the principle of 'equal behaviour leads to equal punishment'. This would imply that when a husband causes a problem in the marriage, his wife can beat him. At which he could invoke verse 4:34 to beat her again, so that the result would be a perpetual physical fight between spouses! Surely, this makes no sense at all. And indeed, it is not what Allah prescribes for the situation where a husband causes a rift, as will be explained in a moment.

Suppose {adriboo} means: 'to forsake, to avoid', possibly, as Mohammed Abdul Malek5 suggests: 'to separate, to part' .

Now what do we get? Verse 4:34 now says that when a wife causes a problem in the marriage, her husband should first talk to her about it, then leave their bed (forsaking his sexual satisfaction), then avoid her even more (not talking to her anymore, leaving the room when she enters it, and possibly even leaving the house for a while), in order to prevent things from getting worse, and on the contrary to let things cool down and create enough space in view of increasing chances of a reconciliation.

This sounds like a very logical chain of events.

Also, application of the general rule of verse 24:2 ('equal actions, equal punishment') now means that when a husband causes a marital problem, his wife should forsake a few of her rights, avoid her husband in increasing ways, and try to work towards a reconciliation. And yes, that is precisely what verse 4:128 says:

"If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part, there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves" (Holy Qur'an 4:128)4

Understanding {adriboo} as 'to forsake, to (gradually) avoid (more and more), possibly eventually leave altogether', clearly makes sense when relating several verses to one another.

And there is more. Beating a wife, would contradict hadiths of the Holy Prophet who repeatedly said: “do not beat believing women!”. It would also contradict the Holy Prophet's instructions about anger – which (unless it is caused by injustice) he explained to originate from Satan and which he described as "a living coal on one's heart". One should not act upon ones anger, lest one would do things one would regret later. When you are angry when you are standing, sit down, the Holy Prophet said. And when you are still angry when you are sitting, then lie down. Interpreting this verse as allowing a husband to beat his wife, surely contradicts these rulings on anger.

Furthermore, Allah says in the Holy Qur'an that one must meet bad behaviour with something that is better, not with something that is worse, in order to turn a hostile situation into a friendly one:

"Nor can goodness and Evil be equal. Repel (Evil) with what is better: Then will he between whom and thee was hatred become as it were thy friend and intimate!" (Holy Qur'an 41:13)4

Therefore the word {adriboo} cannot really have meant “to beat”, can it. It must mean something that is better than causing problems, and avoiding the problem certainly is exactly that.

Based on the evidence presented here, it would seem that interpreting {adriboo} as 'to beat', causes several internal conflicts with the meaning of other Qur'anic verses and hadiths, while interpreting it as 'gradually forsaking, more and more and possibly leaving altogether', is a much more logical interpretation that is entirely consistent with the interpretation of other rules in the Holy Qur'an and the Sunnah of the Holy Prophet Muhammad.

What makes much more sense, is that this verse does not allow a 'superior' husband to 'beat' his 'inferior, disobedient' wife. On the contrary, this verse appears to tell us that a husband must look after his wife (an equal partner who, like he, is obedient to God), and that when his wife is causing problems in their marriage, he should first talk to her about it, if that doesn't help, he should begin avoiding her by leaving the marital bed. If that still doesn't resolve the situation, he should forsake her presence even more, avoid conversations, leave a room when she enters it, avoid her company altogether, and possibly leave the house for a while, so that no problems are added to the conflict, and so that things can cool down a bit to maximise chances for a later reconciliation.

Return to obedience?

When the problem is solved, when the wife is committed to the marriage again, then the husband is advised not to keep using the incident against her and to consider the incident closed.

The exact Arabic wording is: "when then they (fem.pl.) {aTa:} (with) you (masc.pl.), then seek not against them (fem.pl) means of annoyance". The verb {aTa:} (alif taa alif ayn) has several meanings, such as: 'obey', but also: 'comply, comply with, accommodate, give in to', or in French 'filer doux'. Consequently, the verse can be understood to mean: "when then they are committed to the marriage again", or: "when then they give in to/comply with the efforts of the husband to save the marriage", or "when they no longer cause marriage problems", ... Linguistically there is no compelling necessity to translate {aTa:} as "obedient to the husband" . Other interpretations are possible and indeed preferable. Earlier in the verse, there was no reason at all to translate {qanitat} as women who are "obedient to their husband" so that here there isn't any reason to imply that this verse is about a temporary disobedience and a subsequent return to obedience to their husbands. It is not a matter of obedience to him, it is a matter of {nushuz} (marriage problems). And the Holy Quran advises that when one of the partners causes a marriage problem, the other should gradually avoid the person who causes the problem, in order to save the marriage - irrespective of who started the strife (4:34, 4:128)

Tell me does verses re wrong? I pity ya, just be happy and thank God for ya dad he didn't marry anoda wife as young as 9, buh if he had done so, ya won't blame him cos moon-god says he can do so and since muhammed did it, den dere is nufin wrong if ya dad had don't it too
Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Nobody: 2:29pm On Feb 07, 2015
OREMUSSANCTUS:
If ever there has been a controversial verse in the Holy Qur'an, it certainly is verse 4:34. Used by opponents of Islam to label this religion woman-unfriendly (to put it mildly), Muslims themselves are struggling with interpreting it. For yes, let us agree about this: there is no such thing as “the” one and only correct interpretation of the Word of Allah – only Allah knows what He meant. We can only try to understand. And in this particular case, an alternative for the troublesome interpretations of this verse may bring us a bit closer to that objective.

Let us have a look at a (partial) translation of this verse 1:

"Men are the {qawwam} of women, because Allah has given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are {qanitat}, and guard in the husband's absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear {nushuz}, admonish them first, then refuse to share their beds, and finally {adriboo} them; but when they {ataa:} to you, then seek not against them means of annoyance: For Allah is Most High, great above you all. "


Disobedient women?

The key word to answer this question is {qanitat}, which is a feminine plural of {qanit}, based on the root {q-n-t}. This word appears on many other occasions in the Holy Qur'an 2, where it is used exclusively in the sense of 'submissive, obedient to Allah'. Verse 4:34 contains no reason at all to depart from this meaning and to change it into 'obedience to a husband'. This verse is about pious women who, just like pious men, are obedient to Allah. And a wife (husband) who is obedient to God, must live up to her (his) marital duties.

Superior husband and inferior wife?

Throughout the Holy Qur'an, Allah emphasizes that men and women are equal for Him – Allah will judge them in exactly the same way 3. So it would be strange indeed if a verse would contradict this equality. But is that really the case here? The Arabic word used is {qawwam}, an intensive form of {qaim}, meaning: 'to take care of, to look after'. Therefore, does this verse say that men are superior to women? Not at all. It says: men must look after women. In Islam, men are obliged to financially provide for their wife and children. They have to pay for their housing, clothing, food, medicines, etc. That is what {qawwamoona} means: men must take care of women.

Misbehaviour?

Is this verse about what a man should do when his wife 'misbehaves'? The exact word used here, {nushuz}, means 'discord, hostiliy, dissonance'. In this context it could be interpreted as 'marital problems'.

Beating his wife?

The verse instructs a husband whose wife causes problems in their marriage to first talk to her about it, then leave the marital bed, then {adriboo} his wife, and all of this in view of pursueing a reconciliation as is evident from the subsequent verse 4:35.

The Arabic word used here, {adriboo}, from the root {d-r-b}, has several dozens of meanings, such as: 'to beat', but also: 'to forsake, to avoid, to leave'.

How do we know which interpretation to choose? One way to find out, is to relate this verse to other verses in the Holy Qur'an and to check if the meanings make sense. In this case, let us look at verse 24:2, which describes what should be done in case of adultery :

"The woman and the man guilty of adultery or fornication,- flog each of them with a hundred stripes..." (Holy Qur'an 24:2)4

This verse establishes the principle that for men and women, equal actions lead to equal punishment. When for adultery men and women must receive equal punishment, surely there is no reason why they should be treated differently for any lesser marital problem.

Now let us take a look at the consequences of interpreting {adriboo} one way or another.

Suppose {adriboo} means: 'to beat'.

In this case, verse 4:34 says that when a wife causes a problem in the marriage, her husband should first talk to her about it, then leave their bed, then beat her and all of this in view of increasing his chances of a reconciliation. On the emotional level, this certainly does not sound like a very promising course of action. So let us check this meaning against the bigger framework and in particular against the principle of 'equal behaviour leads to equal punishment'. This would imply that when a husband causes a problem in the marriage, his wife can beat him. At which he could invoke verse 4:34 to beat her again, so that the result would be a perpetual physical fight between spouses! Surely, this makes no sense at all. And indeed, it is not what Allah prescribes for the situation where a husband causes a rift, as will be explained in a moment.

Suppose {adriboo} means: 'to forsake, to avoid', possibly, as Mohammed Abdul Malek5 suggests: 'to separate, to part' .

Now what do we get? Verse 4:34 now says that when a wife causes a problem in the marriage, her husband should first talk to her about it, then leave their bed (forsaking his sexual satisfaction), then avoid her even more (not talking to her anymore, leaving the room when she enters it, and possibly even leaving the house for a while), in order to prevent things from getting worse, and on the contrary to let things cool down and create enough space in view of increasing chances of a reconciliation.

This sounds like a very logical chain of events.

Also, application of the general rule of verse 24:2 ('equal actions, equal punishment') now means that when a husband causes a marital problem, his wife should forsake a few of her rights, avoid her husband in increasing ways, and try to work towards a reconciliation. And yes, that is precisely what verse 4:128 says:

"If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part, there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves" (Holy Qur'an 4:128)4

Understanding {adriboo} as 'to forsake, to (gradually) avoid (more and more), possibly eventually leave altogether', clearly makes sense when relating several verses to one another.

And there is more. Beating a wife, would contradict hadiths of the Holy Prophet who repeatedly said: “do not beat believing women!”. It would also contradict the Holy Prophet's instructions about anger – which (unless it is caused by injustice) he explained to originate from Satan and which he described as "a living coal on one's heart". One should not act upon ones anger, lest one would do things one would regret later. When you are angry when you are standing, sit down, the Holy Prophet said. And when you are still angry when you are sitting, then lie down. Interpreting this verse as allowing a husband to beat his wife, surely contradicts these rulings on anger.

Furthermore, Allah says in the Holy Qur'an that one must meet bad behaviour with something that is better, not with something that is worse, in order to turn a hostile situation into a friendly one:

"Nor can goodness and Evil be equal. Repel (Evil) with what is better: Then will he between whom and thee was hatred become as it were thy friend and intimate!" (Holy Qur'an 41:13)4

Therefore the word {adriboo} cannot really have meant “to beat”, can it. It must mean something that is better than causing problems, and avoiding the problem certainly is exactly that.

Based on the evidence presented here, it would seem that interpreting {adriboo} as 'to beat', causes several internal conflicts with the meaning of other Qur'anic verses and hadiths, while interpreting it as 'gradually forsaking, more and more and possibly leaving altogether', is a much more logical interpretation that is entirely consistent with the interpretation of other rules in the Holy Qur'an and the Sunnah of the Holy Prophet Muhammad.

What makes much more sense, is that this verse does not allow a 'superior' husband to 'beat' his 'inferior, disobedient' wife. On the contrary, this verse appears to tell us that a husband must look after his wife (an equal partner who, like he, is obedient to God), and that when his wife is causing problems in their marriage, he should first talk to her about it, if that doesn't help, he should begin avoiding her by leaving the marital bed. If that still doesn't resolve the situation, he should forsake her presence even more, avoid conversations, leave a room when she enters it, avoid her company altogether, and possibly leave the house for a while, so that no problems are added to the conflict, and so that things can cool down a bit to maximise chances for a later reconciliation.

Return to obedience?

When the problem is solved, when the wife is committed to the marriage again, then the husband is advised not to keep using the incident against her and to consider the incident closed.

The exact Arabic wording is: "when then they (fem.pl.) {aTa:} (with) you (masc.pl.), then seek not against them (fem.pl) means of annoyance". The verb {aTa:} (alif taa alif ayn) has several meanings, such as: 'obey', but also: 'comply, comply with, accommodate, give in to', or in French 'filer doux'. Consequently, the verse can be understood to mean: "when then they are committed to the marriage again", or: "when then they give in to/comply with the efforts of the husband to save the marriage", or "when they no longer cause marriage problems", ... Linguistically there is no compelling necessity to translate {aTa:} as "obedient to the husband" . Other interpretations are possible and indeed preferable. Earlier in the verse, there was no reason at all to translate {qanitat} as women who are "obedient to their husband" so that here there isn't any reason to imply that this verse is about a temporary disobedience and a subsequent return to obedience to their husbands. It is not a matter of obedience to him, it is a matter of {nushuz} (marriage problems). And the Holy Quran advises that when one of the partners causes a marriage problem, the other should gradually avoid the person who causes the problem, in order to save the marriage - irrespective of who started the strife (4:34, 4:128)

Tell me does verses re wrong? I pity ya, just be happy and thank God for ya dad he didn't marry anoda wife as young as 9, buh if he had done so, ya won't blame him cos moon-god says he can do so and since muhammed did it, den dere is nufin wrong if ya dad had don't it too

Lol am I arguing with you or Google. Please don't copy and paste. I have internet at home too.

Sigh. You're such a bigot. You claimed theres not just one interpretation of the word of Allah. So why do you choose the bad interpretation only. Sigh I pity you. I really do.

1 Like

Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Nobody: 2:36pm On Feb 07, 2015
[quote author=YourMain post=30511976]

Lol am I arguing with you or Google. Please don't copy and paste. I have internet at home too.

Sigh. You're such a bigot. You claimed theres not just one interpretation of the word of Allah. So why do you choose the bad interpretation only. Sigh I pity you. I really do. [/quote

U don't ve to pity me, pity ya descendant, pity ya future and d future of ya family. Ma religion does not tell me to rape nine years old grls, ma religion does not tell me to beat ma wife, ma religion does not tell me to commit adultery, urs said so. U shld be d one to be pitied cos ya family and ddescendants are in trouble and in danger. U better wake up, all wad is said dere is in d koran and clearly stated
Mind ya I ve gone tru d koran before, ma ex studied religious study in kwara state. So u knoiw am not new in all dis ya shit islam says.

1 Like

Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Nobody: 2:46pm On Feb 07, 2015
[quote author=OREMUSSANCTUS post=30512136][/quote]

Lol neither does mine. I've never heard it was okay to molest anyone anywhere or to beat wives or to commit adultery. Haha my family and my descendants are doing very well mind you. I'd be more worried about yours. And about the closed minded and bias life they may have to endure.

Thats great for you. And your ex.
Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Nobody: 2:56pm On Feb 07, 2015
YourMain:


Lol neither does mine. I've never heard it was okay to molest anyone anywhere or to beat wives or to commit adultery. Haha my family and my descendants are doing very well mind you. I'd be more worried about yours. And about the closed minded and bias life they may have to endure.

Thats great for you. And your ex.
lol, sowie I had to involve ya family. Just dat I hate it wen women re being oppressed using religion. U and I know too well dat ya religion allows a man as old as ya father to sex a 9 years old. And mind ya at d age of 6 or 7 muhammed was thighing her and if ya read ya koran well she was washing sperm off d "prophets" cloths. Wad a prophet, take a look at ya sister dat is 9 years old, if ya don't ve go to a nearby primary skool and see how innocent dey re. And imagine a man taking advantage of their innocence. Babe, ya ve to to be guided by ya senses and don't be fooled. Ya religion allows men to marry more than one wife, imagine dat, if it is not happening to ya parent does not mean it won't happen to ya, and if it does accept it as d wish of ya allah. Lol, poor grl and her fate. Don't blame ya though, ya were born into islam, its not ya fault, I will do same. Am not saying dat christianity is free from bad eggs, buh we condemn bad tins wen we see one, buh ya muslim don't condemn child marriage cos ya prophet did dat. And so morrow wen an old fool come for d hand in marriage of ya 9 years old daughter, don't object its d wish of allah and muhammed.
Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Nobody: 3:11pm On Feb 07, 2015
OREMUSSANCTUS:
lol, sowie I had to involve ya family. Just dat I hate it wen women re being oppressed using religion. U and I know too well dat ya religion allows a man as old as ya father to sex a 9 years old. And mind ya at d age of 6 or 7 muhammed was thighing her and if ya read ya koran well she was washing sperm off d "prophets" cloths. Wad a prophet, take a look at ya sister dat is 9 years old, if ya don't ve go to a nearby primary skool and see how innocent dey re. And imagine a man taking advantage of their innocence. Babe, ya ve to to be guided by ya senses and don't be fooled. Ya religion allows men to marry more than one wife, imagine dat, if it is not happening to ya parent does not mean it won't happen to ya, and if it does accept it as d wish of ya allah. Lol, poor grl and her fate. Don't blame ya though, ya were born into islam, its not ya fault, I will do same. Am not saying dat christianity is free from bad eggs, buh we condemn bad tins wen we see one, buh ya muslim don't condemn child marriage cos ya prophet did dat. And so morrow wen an old fool come for d hand in marriage of ya 9 years old daughter, don't object its d wish of allah and muhammed.

Actually I wasnt born into Islam. Pause. How can you comdem a bad thing. Its word from your God. How dare you say he's right or wrong.

Haha its fine I'm not mad at all. Well it was never in the scriptures that one should marry a nine year old. I think the way religion is taught is so archaic in nigeria. Leading y'all to be such extremists. I live in Europe and I know for a fact the man I'd marry would never have two wives. And if he does I am okay with it.

Sigh. Again. There are laws implemented that says you can't marry a twelve year old. Its more improved and advanced. Unlike in Nigeria. Muhammad lived many years ago. Things he did and didn't do you have to consider the age in lived in. If Nigeria could improve their human rights and children rights I'm sure you wouldn't have that problem.
Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Nobody: 3:24pm On Feb 07, 2015
YourMain:


Actually I wasnt born into Islam. Pause. How can you comdem a bad thing. Its word from your God. How dare you say he's right or wrong.

Haha its fine I'm not mad at all. Well it was never in the scriptures that one should marry a nine year old. I think the way religion is taught is so archaic in nigeria. Leading y'all to be such extremists. I live in Europe and I know for a fact the man I'd marry would never have two wives. And if he does I am okay with it.

Sigh. Again. There are laws implemented that says you can't marry a twelve year old. Its more improved and advanced. Unlike in Nigeria. Muhammad lived many years ago. Things he did and didn't do you have to consider the age in lived in. If Nigeria could improve their human rights and children rights I'm sure you wouldn't have that problem.
ma dear, I tort its islamic for ya to be a fourth wife, and dere is nufin wrong wif dat. Are ya now contrdicting ya prophet who married a 9 years old child? Re ya condeming ya prophet? Haba, ya don't ve to oppose him, he made d laws and ya ve to follow it to d letter. Y not go and service d jihadist in syria and iraq so dat ya moon-god wil grant ya eternal c*um as he promised eternal e*rection to dose dat commit suicide for his course. And I know ya will be entitled to 72 male virgins wif big roasters. Lol, u lucky if truly u in europe, and its better for ya cos christians and jews re making dat place cool for ya. Bet ya kind of islam won't survive in saudi or iran. Am a christian and not a terrorist
Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Nobody: 3:51pm On Feb 07, 2015
OREMUSSANCTUS:
ma dear, I tort its islamic for ya to be a fourth wife, and dere is nufin wrong wif dat. Are ya now contrdicting ya prophet who married a 9 years old child? Re ya condeming ya prophet? Haba, ya don't ve to oppose him, he made d laws and ya ve to follow it to d letter. Y not go and service d jihadist in syria and iraq so dat ya moon-god wil grant ya eternal c*um as he promised eternal e*rection to dose dat commit suicide for his course. And I know ya will be entitled to 72 male virgins wif big roasters. Lol, u lucky if truly u in europe, and its better for ya cos christians and jews re making dat place cool for ya. Bet ya kind of islam won't survive in saudi or iran. Am a christian and not a terrorist

Lol I am not contradicting anyone. Its not exactly aldultery if you're married to her. Again. There are conditions .

Haha I'm guessing you brought up terrorism cause I'm Muslim. I've never blown anyone up. I Dont know anyone that blows people up. And I've never read that you should blow anyone up. I'm also guessing you haven't either.

I think you should stop listening to the rubbish you hear on the media. Also jihad never states you should kill anyone or anything. It simply means to struggle.
Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Nobody: 4:00pm On Feb 07, 2015
YourMain:


Lol I am not contradicting anyone. Its not exactly aldultery if you're married to her. Again. There are conditions .

Haha I'm guessing you brought up terrorism cause I'm Muslim. I've never blown anyone up. I Dont know anyone that blows people up. And I've never read that you should blow anyone up. I'm also guessing you haven't either.

I think you should stop listening to the rubbish you hear on the media. Also jihad never states you should kill anyone or anything. It simply means to struggle.
i doubt if ya a muslim as ya claim to be one, its a well known fact dat muslim are asked to kill "infidels". u better go study ya koran and stop being a baby *winking*.
Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Nobody: 4:08pm On Feb 07, 2015
OREMUSSANCTUS:
i doubt if ya a muslim as ya claim to be one, its a well known fact dat muslim are asked to kill "infidels". u better go study ya koran and stop being a baby *winking*.

I am a muslim. Maybe you should surround yourself with a better group of Muslims.

And if I remember correctly. They were also asked to protect those who seek protection. And also 'kill' those who have killed.
Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Nobody: 4:13pm On Feb 07, 2015
YourMain:


I am a muslim. Maybe you should surround yourself with a better group of Muslims.

And if I remember correctly. They were also asked to protect those who seek protection. And also 'kill' those who have killed.
lol, u know d koran is full of fallacies, d koran and d hadith all filled wif d sex escapades of muhammed. Wad a funny prophet. U know ya can't defend d koran, if we start to raise issues, mind ya, ya ve nt answered ma question, will ya allow an old fool as old as 54 years old to rape or marry ya 9 years old daughter?
Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Nobody: 4:17pm On Feb 07, 2015
OREMUSSANCTUS:
lol, u know d koran is full of fallacies, d koran and d hadith all filled wif d sex escapades of muhammed. Wad a funny prophet. U know ya can't defend d koran, if we start to raise issues, mind ya, ya ve nt answered ma question, will ya allow an old fool as old as 54 years old to rape or marry ya 9 years old daughter?

Like I've said previously. Muhammad didn't live in the same time we do. Maybe back then it was okay. Obviously it's not now in my opinion. But if others wish to practice it then I'm not one to condemn.

I haven't seen a single sex escapades in the Quran oo. Plus. Hadith isn't always fact. It is second word.

What other issues would you like to.raise?

1 Like

Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Nobody: 4:29pm On Feb 07, 2015
YourMain:


Like I've said previously. Muhammad didn't live in the same time we do. Maybe back then it was okay. Obviously it's not now in my opinion. But if others wish to practice it then I'm not one to condemn.

I haven't seen a single sex escapades in the Quran oo. Plus. Hadith isn't always fact. It is second word.

What other issues would you like to.raise?
doubt if ya a muslim, d hadith talks abt d life of muhammed, mind ya many fatwa re bin released today calling for muslims to marry children http://www.frontpagemag.com/2011/raymond-ibrahim/new-saudi-fatwa-defends-pedophilia-as-‘marriage’/
http://islamandtheabuseofwomen..com/2011/12/thighing-of-female-children-in-islam.html?m=1
Google it and see d atrocities committed by islam all in d name of muhammed
Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Empiree: 4:46pm On Feb 07, 2015
YourMain:


Like I've said previously. Muhammad didn't live in the same time we do. Maybe back then it was okay. Obviously it's not now in my opinion. But if others wish to practice it then I'm not one to condemn.

I haven't seen a single sex escapades in the Quran oo. Plus. Hadith isn't always fact. It is second word.

What other issues would you like to.raise?
You need to ignore him. He has been creating nuisance for weeks now on NL along with his vagabonds. Someone dropped this comment on them before.
"He is doing that because he has a very boring life. He was a product of rape from a bandit."
Their lives are frustrated over emergence of islam. look at them here too
https://www.nairaland.com/2107957/fun-facts-islam/6
Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Nobody: 4:47pm On Feb 07, 2015
OREMUSSANCTUS:
doubt if ya a muslim, d hadith talks abt d life of muhammed, mind ya many fatwa re bin released today calling for muslims to marry children http://www.frontpagemag.com/2011/raymond-ibrahim/new-saudi-fatwa-defends-pedophilia-as-‘marriage’/
http://islamandtheabuseofwomen..com/2011/12/thighing-of-female-children-in-islam.html?m=1
Google it and see d atrocities committed by islam all in d name of muhammed

I am a Muslim. Not that I care if you believe me. Loooooool okay what of the guys that aren't muslim. That are pedophiles. Lol did Muhammad ever say that. Is this guy Muhammad?
Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Nobody: 4:49pm On Feb 07, 2015
Empiree:
You need to ignore him. He has been creating nuisance for weeks now on NL along with his vagabonds. Someone dropped this comment on them before.

Their lives are frustrated over emergence of islam. look at them here too
https://www.nairaland.com/2107957/fun-facts-islam/6

Oh lol I thought it was just me.

Ehm I think you should enlighten rather than ignore. Ignorance can lead people to believe what he's coming out with.
Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Nobody: 4:58pm On Feb 07, 2015
YourMain:


I am a Muslim. Not that I care if you believe me. Loooooool okay what of the guys that aren't muslim. That are pedophiles. Lol did Muhammad ever say that. Is this guy Muhammad?
lol, we condemn those guys. Datz it. If a priest or pope does dat we will condemn him, buh yaa prophet did it, y not condemn him. He raped a child ya all shld condemn it. He's d reason y child marriage is so rampant in d middles east and places where u see muslims. In naija, a 14 years old child killed her husband abt 40 somtin years old cos she was forced to marry him. Wad a religion.
Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Nobody: 5:04pm On Feb 07, 2015
Lol at Empiree, u better go join ISIL.........
Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Empiree: 5:05pm On Feb 07, 2015
YourMain:


Oh lol I thought it was just me.

Ehm I think you should enlighten rather than ignore. Ignorance can lead people to believe what he's coming out with.
I swear, you need to go through thread I linked you with and this one below how we tried to enlighten them. He's not alone. They feel they understand Islam a lot better than muslims. We refute them but they wont agree. Go through the guy posts. You will see that he keeps repeating himself. He keeps mentioning us despite refuting him. Explore his profiles post see what i am talking about. I dont like talking to him. We just ignored him
https://www.nairaland.com/2116034/al-taqiyya-before-trust-muslim..know
Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Nobody: 5:06pm On Feb 07, 2015
OREMUSSANCTUS:
lol, we condemn those guys. Datz it. If a priest or pope does dat we will condemn him, buh yaa prophet did it, y not condemn him. He raped a child ya all shld condemn it. He's d reason y child marriage is so rampant in d middles east and places where u see muslims. In naija, a 14 years old child killed her husband abt 40 somtin years old cos she was forced to marry him. Wad a religion.

Have you been to Saudi Arabia? Obviously not. Its only in nigeria one hears of police officers raping young people with no punishment.

Again he didn't rape. And it was a long time ago. Plus forced marriages are not even mentioned.

If you have any other valid points... Rather than repeating. That would be nice.
Re: We Say No To Child-marriage! by Nobody: 5:12pm On Feb 07, 2015
Empiree:
I swear, you need to go through thread I linked you with and this one below how we tried to enlighten them. He's not alone. They feel they understand Islam a lot better than muslims. We refute them but they wont agree. Go through the guy posts. You will see that he keeps repeating himself. He keeps mentioning us despite refuting him. Explore his profiles post see what i am talking about. I dont like talking to him. We just ignored him
https://www.nairaland.com/2116034/al-taqiyya-before-trust-muslim..know

I see. Lol he seems to be a bigot. Haha poor chap. Blaming religion for everything. Well you're in the right. Leave him. He's not worth it.

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