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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage (31587 Views)
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Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by Nobody: 11:30am On Feb 12, 2015 |
Marriage scares d hell out of me? I often ask maself dis questions: 'What if I marry d wrong person?' 'What if she gets worse or becomes a monster afta marriage?' 'Wot if I get bored before one year?' 'Wot if I stop loving her or find out wot I had was not love but infatuation?' I wish I had some answers:/ 2 Likes |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by tutulicious(f): 11:59am On Feb 12, 2015 |
obongproff: That makes two of us dear. One person forever, no going back, its enough to be scare and to be really careful and pray too. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by Vyolet(f): 12:07pm On Feb 12, 2015 |
So far,i have not seen anything i didn't expect. No one is perfect though but we learn to blend,coming from different background. When there is something good in your marriage,say it out and encourage those interested in it. We are tired of reading the bad stories in marriages. 4 Likes |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by Onegai(f): 12:34pm On Feb 12, 2015 |
You will get bored in marriage if you don't make a concious decision to NOT GET BORED. You must never compare your wife to anyone in real life or the bible. (That Proverbs 31 woman had a wonderful husband whom you are not like). you must not keep wanting to fix your husband. I swear, he doesn't want you to fix him, he wants you to make him a better him (a better Tunde, a better Uche, a better Adamu, not a Tunde who was turned into Kola). Both of you are always wrong in a fight. So it is not "he said, she said", you are both wrong. All the time. No-one will know if you knelt down to apologise to your wife/husband in private, in order to settle a fight, unless you tell them. So put your ego aside. Find something nice to say to your spouse every day, find a joke to share with your spouse daily, find time to touch your spouse (caress their head, kiss their hand/cheek, tickle them) daily. 45 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by bukatyne(f): 12:38pm On Feb 12, 2015 |
Onegai: Hahahahahaa I heard to laugh! Every nice post 5 Likes |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by 5minsmadness: 1:18pm On Feb 12, 2015 |
IDEApro: Eh? But...but why go thru all that stress to begin with? 4 Likes |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by 5minsmadness: 1:20pm On Feb 12, 2015 |
ifyalways:Even to his detriment? |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by jnrbayano(m): 4:51am On Feb 13, 2015 |
IDEApro: Nna mehn! I'm getting married tomorrow. 10 Likes |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by jnrbayano(m): 4:54am On Feb 13, 2015 |
cococandy: Ekwero m, you must share something. |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by jnrbayano(m): 4:59am On Feb 13, 2015 |
bukatyne: anthoniaz: Usa! Akpiri ogologo 1 Like |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by jnrbayano(m): 5:04am On Feb 13, 2015 |
ifyalways: Deep. Very deep!! Isn't this somewhat self-centredness? 2 Likes |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by jnrbayano(m): 5:06am On Feb 13, 2015 |
obongproff: I wish the comments of people here will help allay such fears. |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by jnrbayano(m): 5:09am On Feb 13, 2015 |
Vyolet: The bad stories are welcomed too 1 Like |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by jnrbayano(m): 5:11am On Feb 13, 2015 |
Onegai: Correct!! Nice tips!!! 2 Likes |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by Ewuro4: 5:15am On Feb 13, 2015 |
jnrbayano: Putting someone else's need ahead of mine. Not easy. Pleasant Surprise: I'm FREE and make my own RULES. |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by jnrbayano(m): 8:09am On Feb 13, 2015 |
Ewuro4: Your comment is filled with more questions than answers. 6 Likes |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by RAKITIC: 8:44am On Feb 13, 2015 |
Marriage is overrated 2 Likes |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by jnrbayano(m): 9:29am On Feb 13, 2015 |
RAKITIC: Please, how do you mean? |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by RAKITIC: 10:01am On Feb 13, 2015 |
jnrbayano:apart from having kids wat else do you gain frm marriage dat u cant have as a single guy |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by jnrbayano(m): 10:02am On Feb 13, 2015 |
RAKITIC: Companionship. 7 Likes |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by RAKITIC: 10:08am On Feb 13, 2015 |
jnrbayano:ur family members can be ur companion 4 Likes |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by jnrbayano(m): 10:11am On Feb 13, 2015 |
RAKITIC: God himself ordained the marriage-kind-of companionship. Was God crazy doing that? 4 Likes |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by Gloriagee(f): 10:16am On Feb 13, 2015 |
@ ideapro- I'm lost...why is it the woman's role to automatically fix dinner? Both of u got back from church by 8pm probably after work, y can't u lend a helping hand, say like microwave the soup. If u were anywhere near the kitchen, u would have been aware of the fantastic noodles dish she was making or the challenges she was facing with the soup. I know I prefer company in the kitchen while cooking so can't really muster much sympathy for u. 16 Likes |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by RAKITIC: 10:21am On Feb 13, 2015 |
jnrbayano:wat of apostle paul in the bible |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by jnrbayano(m): 10:25am On Feb 13, 2015 |
RAKITIC: The same Paul doesn't want you to emulate his single life if you wont be able to control your sexual urge. Now tell me, can you? 3 Likes |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by 5minsmadness: 10:39am On Feb 13, 2015 |
Gloriagee:Why is it the man's role to automatically marry you? 13 Likes |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by Gloriagee(f): 10:48am On Feb 13, 2015 |
5minsmadness: Def not his role to marry me, if he's expecting a house maid. I'd rather pass. Not everyone is desperate, u know. 13 Likes |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by Odillz: 11:05am On Feb 13, 2015 |
Gloriagee:Keep on passing till you clock 46. Or don't you know there are gracious maids 16 Likes |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by Gloriagee(f): 11:09am On Feb 13, 2015 |
Odillz: No risk of that happening, shugah. Thanx for ur concern all the same 10 Likes |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by 5minsmadness: 11:18am On Feb 13, 2015 |
Gloriagee:Nobody is talking about housemaid. Its his role to marry you and he will, no need to argue. Its your role to take care of him and that includes cooking for him. If you can't do it pls don't marry. Like you said, not everyone is desperate. 4 Likes |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by Gloriagee(f): 11:26am On Feb 13, 2015 |
5minsmadness: It is my role to be his help meet not to take care of him. Listening to some guys talk bout getting married sounds like their would be wife's job description involves being a cook, washer woman n still sexual partner...in other words, taking care of 'him'. I'm just imagining two tired people coming back from church, where kindness n empathy are being taught. One switches on super sports n is lounging waiting for his carer to serve him dinner, while the other starts cooking indomie n in between switches to eba. What stops him from helping out? Nothing major? I'm assuming the woman has to work, wake up early to beat Lagos traffic n still contribute to the household purse. 28 Likes 1 Share |
Re: The Pleasant And Awful Surprises Of Marriage by 5minsmadness: 12:40pm On Feb 13, 2015 |
Gloriagee:Ok I see. So you are saying the woman should be the one watching telemundo while the man does the cooking? Just kidding. In a marriage, everybody has their roles. Nobody expects you to fix the car if it has a problem, for instance. Manly duties are left for the males and wifely duties for the females. Your imagination is what I think a lot of girls on this forum fear. That they'll become slaves in their marriage, wearing rags and sweating in the kitchen trying to cook for the family while the fat, hairy and lazy husband sits in the parlour with his feet up drinking beer and watching sports. This is a wrong projection of marriage and I'm sure you wont deliberately marry a man who would do such to you. I want to believe when two people get married they do it because the love each other, not because they are looking for slaves or because they want to answer Mrs. due to societal pressures. Nothing stops the man cooking for you but it is not the norm. And if you care for him and not see him as a slavemaster but as someone you love then you wont mind cooking for him. 23 Likes 1 Share |
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