Hunwa:
@Sashafm
Just had to say something to you after reading your post. Please don't make the mistake of ever under-estimating anyone. I was in your shoes some years back and I also thought the guy in question wasn't focused enough and had no concrete ambition, I actually left him because of that, as I felt we were not moving at the same pace. But today, he is miles ahead of me in terms of academic qualifications and is now a professional in his chosen field and even got a job outside the country. My point is, a man not been vocal about his long and short term goals doesn't mean he doesn't want to amount to someone great in life, he might just still be processing the plans in his mind. Don't give up on him based on that alone as you might end up regretting it.

Please, can someone help me with the name of that woman here who transformed her man into extraordinary personality? Please do it for me. Please. I read about her sometime ago but I have forgotten the handle. I think it's Evina or something. Her kind is very rare, extremely rare. NO MAN, except curse, will toy with her kind. Please someone should give me her handle. I talking about the one whose boyfriend was timid but she pushed him to become a better person and I think they are getting married soon. I really need to know her name. Thank you.

Evina:
@geekybabe: I know most of the responses you got to your predicament are from mature and married posters.

I just want to give my suggestion based on my personal experience.

I will be getting married in May. It ought to have being on the 28th of March, but elections in Nigeria made us move the date.

My fiance and I started dating in 2006. I already had my first degree then and preparing for NYSC, while he was studying to be an engineer. By the time he had his B.Sc, I already had a few years work experience.

Like you, I am very driven. I started a business at 20. I am one of those people that can start 5 projects, run a business at the side while holding down a job and still think of fresh new opportunities to explore. He was laid back, I had to push him to always go for more.

In fact, I did not have a problem with being the bread winner until the Holy Spirit convicted me and told me I was subtly placing a curse on my intended. I mean it is NOT the place of a woman to be the SOLE provider. She is the helpmeet, the support system. The bible says a man who cannot provide for his family is worse than an infidel!

When I got that understanding, I revamped my mindset. I showed him the scripture, and told him. You know me. You know how driven I am and you know I will not let myself be limited by a man. I will not soft pedal on achieving my dreams because I don't want you to feel inadequate, so you need to sit up.

Then, I began to find ways to push him towards accomplishing his goals. While he was awaiting NYSC, I was the PR manager in a school. I organized the annual Christmas party, which was unlike any the school ever had. We had sponsors and media coverage. He is a great dancer and had a group in school, so I suggested he should consider training the students in dance;salsa, ballet etc. He was excited. I proposed the idea to the board and he was hired as the choreographer. He did an EXCELLENT job!

Next, I had an idea for weddings, talked to him about it and we made business cards. He was the MD and I Business development manager. Our biggest client was from him. (An aunt of his).

Shortly, he went for NYSC and I secured another job in another city. I developed his resume and would check for jobs online, write cover letter and apply on his behalf.

Now, several years after. I am AMAZED at the man he has become! I am soo proud of him. He is a sales Engineer, confident, driven and dedicated. He once told me he used to think he couldn't get a job without connections. But now, he doesn't think there's any interview he'll go for that he wouldn't scale through. I remember, I used to prep him for interviews back then.

I asked him recently, where that unmotivated, timid guy was, and he gave me one kind look. LOL. Now, I don't have to do any of those work I used to do because he is on top of his game.

I really thank God because even his mum, turned around and loved me when she saw the direction her son's life was headed and realized he was at his best with me in his life.

In summary, I just want to say, we should endeavor to make an impact in the lives of people we encounter. 9months is too short to give up on him. Give it your best, if it means finding time to search for jobs with him and even applying on his behalf, do it. His seeming controlling nature may just be because he feels insecure. Help him get past the insecurities. I believe the role of a woman is to build up her man, to help him reach his full potentials. That is why there is no end to how high a man can rise if he's got a good woman by his side.

That laid back dude today can become a driven, goal oriented man tomorrow. Mine is a living proof. he is not just an Engineer, he got certified in HSE and picked up great designing skills. I once got a contract to supply table top calendars. He designed it and managed the printing process. I would have spent 100k, paying a designer for the designs. He stays dedicated to tasks and wouldn't give up until he has seen it through. I didn't see these qualities in him before and wouldn't have known it was in there if I gave up on him.

All the best gurl.

May God bless you.... I was searching for this very post and now I found it. I saw your prewedding pictures and I pray that God bless you for the future and more grace. May your home never know sorrows. You and Your husband will live into old age together, you shall see you children's children in Jesus name.Whoever plan evil against your marriage shall carry their curse with their own head. Every time, energy and finances you spent on this man shall bring forth more blessings for your family In Jesus name. Any girl, either present or future that will plan to steal your sweat in your marriage shall never know peace in Jesus Name, You inherit the fruit of your labor.

I really wish I could give you hug... I will post this on the romance section so that other girls can learn from you, You are a role model and when I come across women of your kind, I give them the maximum respect they deserve. You are an epitome of womanhood! let me stop here so I can leave some spaces for other cos if I continue, the space will not be enough.

iwatch:
May God bless you.... I was searching for this very post and now I found it. I saw your prewedding pictures and I pray that God bless you for the future and more grace. May your home never know sorrows. You and Your husband will live into old age together, you shall see you children's children in Jesus name.Whoever plan evil against your marriage shall carry their curse with their own head. Every time, energy and finances you spent on this man shall bring forth more blessings for your family In Jesus name. Any girl, either present or future that will plan to steal your sweat in your marriage shall never know peace in Jesus Name, You inherit the fruit of your labor.

I really wish I could give you hug... I will post this on the romance section so that other girls can learn from you, You are a role model and when I come across women of your kind, I give them the maximum respect they deserve. You are an epitome of womanhood! let me stop here so I can leave some spaces for other cos if I continue, the space will not be enough.

Wow iwatch
Thank you so much. I really appreciate your prayers and receive your declarations for me.

I should print this out.
Thanks a lot and may you experience the same measure of goodness, you have dispensed.
Cheers.

Your story reminded me of mine. Will share my story tomorrow

Evina:


Wow iwatch
Thank you so much. I really appreciate your prayers and receive your declarations for me.

I should print this out.
Thanks a lot and may you experience the same measure of goodness, you have dispensed.
Cheers.

Hotstepper:

Your story reminded me of mine. Will share my story tomorrow

Waiting!

Evina:


Wow iwatch
Thank you so much. I really appreciate your prayers and receive your declarations for me.

I should print this out.
Thanks a lot and may you experience the same measure of goodness, you have dispensed.
Cheers.

No ma'am, since I was born, I have never seen or heard of your kind of woman, I mean woman who practically mould a man into a desired product. Many, many many many would have left that guy just because he is not what they want, because he is "not their type" because "he is not measuring up as man"; because "he is weak"; because "he is lazy" because " he does not plan ahead" ; because "he is not ambitious" (like one I saw in a few post in page 40ty something) , because "it will take time before he would get there". You saw a possibilit, you didn't give up on him, you had faith in him, you believed, you saw potentials...YOU are a GEM to behold, you are precious, you are unique.

Like I said, one once told me I don't plan ahead. But against all odd, I saw myself through school after my mum passed on. This was with God's help and His grace of cause. In last one year after NYSC, many of my friend's whom we finished service together have had to complain of finances but I don't, neither do blame the government for my financial needs. I pick myself up and use whatever is around me to get what I want.

I want ladies to understand that waiting on a guy's plan isn't the best you can get out of him or giving up on him when you hadn't tried anything at all.

Many would have left your husband-to-be in his old state. I doubt he possibility in a girls of 10. Not many a privileged to be born or raised with leadership qualities and you understood that fact, you took the lead half way, brought out the best in him, transformed him...

Nothing is as precious as a woman who contributes her quota into her man's life. I know a guy whom his girlfriend used to send him 2k, 3k, 5k in school. On his wedding day, someone said if he had know, my friend shouldn't have married the lady. I stood up in defense for her and told him that if he didn't marry her, I would be mad at him because she deserved every ounce of it.

ALL I CAN IS MAY GOD BLESS YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU DID FOR HIM...

@ iwatch,

Most of what you have said is true but I will complement your truth with some more truth(hope I am allowed?). Evina is a lovely girl who put a lot of into her man but her man equally deserve a lot of praise. He is a good man that deserved everything Evina put in. Do you think she would do the same if she had seen him with two other women? or if he beats her up or if he treats her shabbily?Do you think she would have succeded if he did not want to change. They both complemented each other. When you are looking for the right partner, make yourself the right partner also. There are as many horrible women as there are many horrible men. When a reasonable woman knows that she is the only one the man loves and wants she will do her best for the man. Treat a reasonable girl like a queen and you will see that she will treat you like a king.

iwatch:
Just had to quote this. Someone once told me I don't plan ahead but today she isn't any better than I and against all odds,


Please, can someone help me with the name of that woman here who transformed her man into extraordinary personality? Please do it for me. Please. I read about her sometime ago but I have forgotten the handle. I think it's Evina or something. Her kind is very rare, extremely rare. NO MAN, except curse, will toy with her kind. Please someone should give me her handle. I talking about the one whose boyfriend was timid but she pushed him to become a better person and I think they are getting married soon. I really need to know her name. Thank you.

I guess I was ryt abt dis moniker

@ur last paragraph, snatching is not allowed.



Abeg na joke o

babygirlfl:
@ iwatch,

Most of what you have said it true but I will complement your truth with some more truth(hope I am allowed?). Evina is a lovely girl who put a lot of into her man but her man equally deserve a lot of praise. He is a good man that deserved everything Evina put in. Do you think she would do the same if she had seen him with two other women? or if he beats her up or if he treats her shabbily?Do you think she would have succeded if he did not want to change. They both complemented each other. When you are looking for the right partner, make yourself the right partner also. There are as many horrible women as there are many horrible men. When a reasonable woman knows that she is the only one the man loves and wants she will do her best for the man. Treat a reasonable girl like a queen and you will see you will that she will treat you like a king.

Gbam. U couldn't hv said it better.

Chinum:


I guess I was ryt abt dis moniker

@ur last paragraph, snatching is not allowed.



Abeg na joke o

lol.. edit your post mbok

babygirlfl:
@ iwatch,

Most of what you have said is true but I will complement your truth with some more truth(hope I am allowed?). Evina is a lovely girl who put a lot of into her man but her man equally deserve a lot of praise. He is a good man that deserved everything Evina put in. Do you think she would do the same if she had seen him with two other women? or if he beats her up or if he treats her shabbily?Do you think she would have succeded if he did not want to change. They both complemented each other. When you are looking for the right partner, make yourself the right partner also. There are as many horrible women as there are many horrible men. When a reasonable woman knows that she is the only one the man loves and wants she will do her best for the man. Treat a reasonable girl like a queen and you will see that she will treat you like a king.

Well said.

iwatch:
lol.. edit your post mbok

Whts mbok n wetin make I add or subtract for the post.

Chinum:


Whts mbok n wetin make I add or subtract for the post.

the first bolded lines and ur first "guess I"

iwatch:
the first bolded lines and ur first "guess I"

Migbo

Chinum:


Migbo

iwatch:

Chinum:

abeg leave me alone oooo mbok!

iwatch:
abeg leave me alone oooo mbok!

Hia! Whts holding U?


Oya e don do. Bye bye.

Chinum:


Hia! Whts holding U?


Oya e don do. Bye bye.

Hacking her GTB ATM card with sql vulnerability code

iwatch:
Hacking her GTB ATM card with sql vulnerability code

If only you know the amount of e-virus on dat card n what they r capable of.

Please my people have been on background all these while, I have to register new account for this. Please I am a guy and am in love with a lady that is older than me. I really love her but the age factor is really giving me course for concern pls my able mamas & papas your advice is highly needed.
Thanks in advance.

Chinum & iwatch. I'm seeing both of you in 3D...

sync428:
Please my people have been on background all these while, I have to register new account for this. Please I am a guy and am in love with a lady that is older than me. I really love her but the age factor is really giving me course for concern pls my able mamas & papas your advice is highly needed.
Thanks in advance.

sync428:
Please my people have been on background all these while, I have to register new account for this. Please I am a guy and am in love with a lady that is older than me. I really love her but the age factor is really giving me course for concern pls my able mamas & papas your advice is highly needed.
Thanks in advance.

How old are the both of you and how long have you been together?

sync428:
Please my people have been on background all these while, I have to register new account for this. Please I am a guy and am in love with a lady that is older than me. I really love her but the age factor is really giving me course for concern pls my able mamas & papas your advice is highly needed.
Thanks in advance.

What is the age gap dear
Who has a problem with the age
You?
Your family?
What are your ages?
These answers will help people to advise you better

Floodgater:
How old are the both of you and how long have you been together?

,

Am 29 & she is 32 ..............We have been together for 2 yes but got to know of her age recently.
Reason was that I was not really interested in her age cos she actually looks younger than that

babyosisi:


What is the age gap dear
Who has a problem with the age
You?
Your family?
What are your ages?
These answers will help people to advise you better

Age gap is 3
Both of us has problem cos she thinks I will leave her & I just have the fear of settling with someone older.
Both seriously I love her

Goodevening everyone...........I once posted and wished I could share my problems, the ones I ve not been able to handle yet from d various solutions discussed here......One of them jst happened recently...

First, am engaged to this very strict person. Therez no harm in being strict but not when itz extreme.....Tho I was raised by a very strict mum (single parent) it never got to dz extreme....I was allowed to air my views

I jst graduated waiting for service....I decided to do smfing in the interim sinz d usual allowance isnt forthcoming anymore

Nw this happen to be my crime......He wants me to stay home all day...or work where he wants me to

I applied smwhere and I was lucky enough to be taken...D pay aint rily d issue but atleast I have where to out to evryday and b useful to myself and d society bt dat is a big issue to my darling fiance coz I jst became a disrespectful wife-to-be

Meanwhile I have on countless times called or threatened to call off d whole engagement drama because of his attitude towards things bt evrybody is always blaming me coz d all feel am too impatient....They all say I shldnt try to measure up with him bt I am nt. am just trying to have a voice....I want to b heard to bcoz I feel I have dat right......

Now he is threatening to call it off jst because I refused to heed to his instructions and went ahead to take up d job..
As for me I dnt care if he does dat or not bt I will really love to knw if I did the right thing or am jst being disrespectful as he claims

if he is right I would go ahead and apologize to him and drop evrything that has to do with the job


I would really love to hear from d men's point of view as well as evrybodyz opinion as well


please forgive my typing
Anything you dnt understand ask questions I will answer
Am not in a very kul mood but I bliv in all ve typed, ve been able to make sense....
Thank you so much and am very sorry for the long epistle

sync428:


Age gap is 3
Both of us has problem cos she thinks I will leave her & I just have the fear of settling with someone older.
Both seriously I love her

So the problem is actually you
She is thinking you will leave her because you have expressed doubts in the relationship because of her age no be so?
I don't think there is anything wrong with a 3 year gap
You are within the same age bracket and no one will know unless you told them
It's nobody's business but yours and if you are comfortable with it,it shouldn't matter
But I have a feeling you are not a ok with it
True love is hard to find,don't allow something as flimsy as this make you lose out on a good woman
I will say the same if you were my brother

How you gleatz?!

PearlO:
Goodevening everyone...........I once posted and wished I could share my problems, the ones I ve not been able to handle yet from d various solutions discussed here......One of them jst happened recently...

First, am engaged to this very strict person. Therez no harm in being strict but not when itz extreme.....Tho I was raised by a very strict mum (single parent) it never got to dz extreme....I was allowed to air my views

I jst graduated waiting for service....I decided to do smfing in the interim sinz d usual allowance isnt forthcoming anymore

Nw this happen to be my crime......He wants me to stay home all day...or work where he wants me to

I applied smwhere and I was lucky enough to be taken...D pay aint rily d issue but atleast I have where to out to evryday and b useful to myself and d society bt dat is a big issue to my darling fiance coz I jst became a disrespectful wife-to-be

Meanwhile I have on countless times called or threatened to call off d whole engagement drama because of his attitude towards things bt evrybody is always blaming me coz d all feel am too impatient....They all say I shldnt try to measure up with him bt I am nt. am just trying to have a voice....I want to b heard to bcoz I feel I have dat right......

Now he is threatening to call it off jst because I refused to heed to his instructions and went ahead to take up d job..
As for me I dnt care if he does dat or not bt I will really love to knw if I did the right thing or am jst being disrespectful as he claims

if he is right I would go ahead and apologize to him and drop evrything that has to do with the job


I would really love to hear from d men's point of view as well as evrybodyz opinion as well


please forgive my typing
Anything you dnt understand ask questions I will answer
Am not in a very kul mood but I bliv in all ve typed, ve been able to make sense....
Thank you so much and am very sorry for the long epistle

A man that you are not yet married to is dictating whether you should stay home or get a job?
And wants to call off the engagement because you went ahead to get a job
My dear go ahead and take that job and sign on the dotted lines
Let him call off the engagement and get the type of woman he desires
Obviously he is not your type of man so allow him to leave
There are tons of men out there who are not intimidated by a woman that works
You don't try to mend an engagement,you disengage when it's not working out
That is the purpose of courtship
You only mend marriages not engagements
He has already shown you a shadow of what is to come in the marriage,use your head nne

PearlO:
Goodevening everyone...........I once posted and wished I could share my problems, the ones I ve not been able to handle yet from d various solutions discussed here......One of them jst happened recently...

First, am engaged to this very strict person. Therez no harm in being strict but not when itz extreme.....Tho I was raised by a very strict mum (single parent) it never got to dz extreme....I was allowed to air my views

I jst graduated waiting for service....I decided to do smfing in the interim sinz d usual allowance isnt forthcoming anymore

Nw this happen to be my crime......He wants me to stay home all day...or work where he wants me to

I applied smwhere and I was lucky enough to be taken...D pay aint rily d issue but atleast I have where to out to evryday and b useful to myself and d society bt dat is a big issue to my darling fiance coz I jst became a disrespectful wife-to-be

Meanwhile I have on countless times called or threatened to call off d whole engagement drama because of his attitude towards things bt evrybody is always blaming me coz d all feel am too impatient....They all say I shldnt try to measure up with him bt I am nt. am just trying to have a voice....I want to b heard to bcoz I feel I have dat right......

Now he is threatening to call it off jst because I refused to heed to his instructions and went ahead to take up d job..
As for me I dnt care if he does dat or not bt I will really love to knw if I did the right thing or am jst being disrespectful as he claims

if he is right I would go ahead and apologize to him and drop evrything that has to do with the job


I would really love to hear from d men's point of view as well as evrybodyz opinion as well


please forgive my typing
Anything you dnt understand ask questions I will answer
Am not in a very kul mood but I bliv in all ve typed, ve been able to make sense....
Thank you so much and am very sorry for the long epistle

Girl you are seeing the signs and you still coat it strict. You are not yet married and he is ruling you like a dictator out of his insecurities, when you marry him, he will ask you not to work, dictate everything to you and should you refuse, he will threaten divorce, carry you back to your mum's or even beat you to comply. You mean at your age you'v refuse to tell yourself the fact that people will talk till you go and marry an abuser, then talk you to stay to death because by then the talkings will be wearing some rights and continue talking about the next person. Will these persons live with you and the man, btw how did your life become so public that "people" aside your mum now decide how you live? If you desire what's good for you, use this opportunity he has offered to close that door permanently. The closing and opening itself is bad enough sign. If you fool yourself and end up with that man, you will in addition to other things pay for the times you "disrespected" him.

@floodgater;
Am pretty good Sis. How re you and all yours?
Keeping on as earlier discussed.