Dear Asake,

Beware of brothers. There are irritable numbers of vibrant but unconquered single brothers in our gatherings now. They have turned our sisters to games for sexual pleasures. There are some, sincere but careless, who want to be there for every 'troubled' sister. You speak with them and their heart is somewhere else. They just 'feel' something is wrong with that sister. Funnily enough, no sister is worth attending to that sister than them. The carrier of a burden understands how best to see it through, the brothers say. Deceptive lines upon lines and you appear as the babe without definite divine calling or purpose. You wonder if their gleeful defence of their concerns being attributive to their 'female ministry' is divine and scriptural.

And the devil is smiling.

He will not tell that drunk to visit because you will not open your door. He will not tell that smoker to visit because there is a greater tendency to safeguard yourself with impenetrable religious walls of emotional safety. But when bro James visits, you are relaxed. When bro Mathew visits, you do not see any reason to be 'tight fisted'. After all, he is a brother. Then there are also the Lord Bishops who intimidate you with visions 'straight from the innermost part of the highest heavens.' Smooth talking dudes with avalanche of mind blowing pentecostal dictions....Garrulous advocates of self-serving visions that leave harmless, naïve and tender-hearted sisters, like you, confused and 'zombiesised'.

But don't be fooled. The Jesus life is strange to noise making. Tell bro Mathew that his careless touches are gradually disarming you. Tell bro James that though his broad shoulders are tempting for respite, you'd rather cry on your knees to God. Tell that arrogant fellowship president of yours that although his current spiritual CV is intimidating, you'd love to learn to hear God for yourself. You don't need sympathisers and Pharisees but helpers as friends. And Yes, part of helping you is learning to give space when your emotions seek ventilation, and your convictions seek depth!