Laugh small
I was driving down a street along Alausa, having just
finished answering a call, when a policeman, suddenly,
opened the passenger door, entered and jam-locked it.
(The door lock is faulty)
As usual, he wanted ‘something’ from me for calling
while driving…
Suddenly, he saw the big Rothweiller dog, Jackie, at the
back seat of the car, with tongue stuck out, spittle
dripping and fangs barring, staring fiercely at him.
Policeman: (Shaking) Ah! You carry dog?
Me: (I bone face) Yes, I carry dog. Dat one na offense?
Policeman: (Feeling uncomfortable) Na where una dey
come from?
Me: From hospital.
Policeman: Ehen! you sick?
Me: No, na person wey the dog bite we go see. The
person
almost die sef.
Policeman: (Terribly shaken by now) Ehen! But why the
dog dey shake head like that?
Me: Na so im dey do if e wan bite person.
Policeman: The dog know you?
Me: Yes nah, no be my dog?
Policeman: (Sweating) This your door, how you dey open
am?
Me: How you take enter?
Policeman: Abeg! Na since I dey try open am, but e no
open. (The dog was now getting impatient and gave a
small growl, its tongue almost touching the policeman’s
left ear).
Policeman: (Now sliding forward) Oga, I take God beg
you, open the door for me make I comot. I no go collect
anythin from you.
Me: How much you go pay me?
Policeman: Ah! I neva hustle anythin since morning. Na
only N1,000 dey wit me.
Me: You neva ready. (I looked back at the dog).
Policeman: Ok ok ok ok ok, e reach N2,000. The oda
N1,000 na my wife own, but I go give you join.
(Now, close to tears as the dog was becoming really
impatient)
Oga, I be……g, Oga, sorry. Take the N2,000 make you
open the door plssssssse!
Me: Oya, bring am. (I collected the N2,000 & allowed
him out of the car)
Policeman: God punish you. Idiot, e no go ever better for
you and your yeye dog. Wicked man!!!