Kenny Brandmuse wrote:

We are Patience. Je suis Patience.

I was going to join in reviling our dearest Madam Patience when my bbf called my attention to an amazing fact about this sweeping meme in recent political history of Nigeria. Like the theatre, watching Patience in all her crude manifestations is watching ourselves on stage, as the most populous Black nation. Here are three things we share in common with this Umbrella character.

1. Like Patience, we are literate but remain largely uneducated. Records show she was a teacher before going into politics. However, when one begins to hear this Madam speak, one begins to wonder if she ever stepped into a classroom – even as a student. Nigerians are one of the most literate human beings I know. Our educational system is so rigorous that a typical American High Schooler may not pass our common entrance examination. Unfortunately, these syllabi are largely teaching us A, for Apple and B, for Ball. They do not educate us about ourselves, our world, and our place. Real education helps students learn about the self through critical thinking, and not subject the self to memorizations and certifications. Why do you think it is very important that our political trends are punctuated with such requests as to ‘show your school certificates.’ In other countries, it is more likely that they demand birth certificates. Our histories are lost in classrooms. Instead, we learn about our colonialists. Our languages are replaced. Our enduring cultures are relegated to the backseat of admirable things.

2. Like Patience, we chase after ‘Men of God’ but never chasing after our own selves. Take a swipe at the Social Media habits of Nigerians, you can easily do a word map of Jesus, church, heaven, Daddy GO and Mummy CO. As highly superstitious as we are, we never stop for once and thoroughly look within us to find answers to many our problems. No, we sing 'Jesus is the answer for Nigeria today.' There's absolutely nothing wrong with asking Jesus to fix things if you so believe, but Nigerians, in the image of Patience, take no responsibilities for things they could fix. Imagine the amazing power we have if only we stopped drooling over most of these con artists draped in robes, releasing doves and getting rich in droves. Hence, whenever a brutal politician wants to hoodwink us a nation, they go to our religious altars. Why then revile Patience and her husband for their political ferocities? Extremity is what we all do in our little spaces. If we don't, we won’t have ten church buildings on a tiny little street which has no road. I see Jeeps pulled up beside gaping drainages, and falling curbs and no one ever looks at these wasting infrastructures. Rather, we look unto Jesus, the author, and the finisher of our faith and then travel overseas for the summer. If you think Patience embarrasses you, think again. You may be watching a version of yourself on stage. Enjoy the show. There is God o.

3. Like Patience, we love status but hate the responsibilities that come with it. If you want to get away with anything in Nigeria, flash your titles. Hon Dr. Mrs. Rhoda. Evangelist Dr. Professor Pari Pari. His Excellency Engineer Barrister Lobatan. MMF, CCCD, LMFAO, LOL, LLLLM, HON. I get it. Most of us had been robbed of our self-esteem growing up in our small villages. I get it. We worked really hard to earn these titles. Hence, the need to show it as medals of honors. However, what I fail to get is how we have so many titled Engineers and Doctors and Honorable, and we are yet to solve a common national problem as constant electricity. Isn’t it bizarre? We'd rather lambaste our dearest Patience for loving her title of the First Lady Oga Madam of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. Even when we cannot rescue poor little girls from insurgents or at least empathize with them. Tell an average Nigerian parent you are marrying a doctor, they never think twice. Even if the so-called doctor cannot consult on headaches. Why then do we blame Madam Pat for flaunting her First Ladyness? According to Plato and Aristotle, in the classics, a piece of art is only significant if it grounded in some our own realities. Madam Patience has become a piece of art with some verisimilitude that should make us ask the critical question: Am I Patience enough? #JeSuisPatience

Dedicated to my BBF: Rolake Odetoyinbo

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