DEAR SISTER, The truth is bitter but its better you realize it earlier.

How long will it take you to realize that you can't change a man? Why would you force yourself on a man, when his parents were bold enough to let you know that they don't like you, probably your kind of person/your family background/your state or your tribe. The truth is, he love his parents and he believe in the love they have for him. They both brought him up to their taste, don't expect him to disregard his parents opinion cos you said you love him most.
Fine, you have been dating for some months, you know where he worship and you don't like the church or him being a muslim. Whenever you try to make him realize you weren't pleased with his church or mosque style he logically ignore the topic.
Good, he introduced you to his friends, you don't like the set of friends he keeps, each time you talk about them he avoid the topic. At times he boldly tells you he can't do without them cos they've been together from childhood.

Sure! he never pretend to you, he is so transparent that you know the quantity of alcohol he can take in a day, this habit doesn't go down well with you, whenever you complain about it he tells you he has been taking it ever since he was in secondary school.
But because of your ignorance about realities of life, you felt you could change him to be the man of your dream one day. Because of your selfish interest you called love, you believe he will drop those habits after marriage as you'll keep complaining? You are decieving yourself.
Listen! Such complain will turn to nagging cos it will sound like a noise to him. Why would you foresee a problem in your future and you couldn't allow your common sense to see your future? How long will it take you to realize you can't change a man. Change is from the inside, you can't control him unless he chose to.

If you CAN NOT love him for whom he is, why would you marry him? If you can not tolerate his habit, why would you say 'you do' when you can't not tolerate his differences? You don't need a prophet or Alfa to tell you that you are the cause of your matrimonial problem.

If you feel you truly love him, tolerate him. Don't ever impose your opinion on him, it will never work. Men are made to dominate, its their nature.

My dear love is not blind, its not all the men you have feelings for that are marriable to you. Yes, love is a thing of the heart, but Compatibility matters in relationship. A yoruba adage says "Oju ti o ba maa bani kale kii ti aaro se ipin" literary means, you can percieve the future from the present. (I stand a chance to be corrected if you have a better illustration of the adage pls)

We lost a sister that falls victim of similar circumstance yesterday. So painful.
Don't go for present enjoyment in marriage, no matter how the material entized you, go for future happiness. No one can make you happy but yourself. Open your mind, open your heart, open your eyes and look before you leap. Let's avoid falling victim of circumstance by learning from happenings. God will not come down from heaven to help you. Heaven can only help those who help themselves. Ignorance kills.

May God lead you to choose right, and if you are in already may God give you wisdom to hold your home. If you have your home shaking, I attach my faith with yours and every other people of God interceding for marriages that the strom shall stop in Jesus name and you shall have a testimony.
Amen.
#‎Nikkygold‬

I like people that are realistic. Ɣ☺u are being realistic op

Thanks. I wish ladies develop the habit of learning. Its not all that gliters that are gold. Am not happy with rate of broken marriages recorded these days. So sad dear

Well, if I've learnt anythng abt girls, its dat they love BAD guys, dey really do, dey love men dat have Bad habits, and dey love dis fantasy of "I can change him; cos he loves me, he wil change"... I dnt think there's anythng you can say dat wil change that really. But wat u said is realistic, its difficult to see women who are this intelligent.

Hmmmn, I wish they change

Truth is like surgery it cuts deep but heals n saves.

Right