A man has explained his decision behind quitting his high-powered, high-paying, technology gig to be a stay-at-home dad.

Anand Iyer, now three months in, tells Yahoo Parenting it’s the best investment he’s ever made..The 34-year-old's wife Shreya, 36, became the primary breadwinner with her job managing recruiting for Splunk, a technology company that does data analytics. 

“Like all working parents who often struggle to balance career and family, the San Francisco tech guru had just endured one too many nights of rushing home only to find his 2-year-old daughter, Ava, already asleep. He was missing too much and “felt terrible,”

“I wasn’t spending any time with her in the evening,” says Iyer, noting that one conversation with a fellow father really got him thinking. “We started talking about how hard this was, being a working parent. My friend said, ‘My son is 2 months old and I haven’t bonded with him yet.’ And I felt the same way. I started to ask myself, ‘What am I working so hard for? Why are we trying to make our lives so great but aren’t investing in time with our child?’”

So on January 23, the former Microsoft product manager, then chief product officer at Threadflip, walked into his boss’ office and quit. To his surprise, Iyer tells Yahoo Parenting, his boss applauded him for it.

He told me, 

‘I totally get it,My boss said, ‘You have to realize who you’re working for.’ His words, not mine. He was very understanding. It actually wasn’t a tough talk at all.” Colleagues followed suit.“I’ve had occasional sleepless nights over our finances, “But the reality is that I’m fortunate that I’ve been working nonstop for a long time so it wasn’t as difficult a transition for us financially as it could have been. 

Instead of hurrying off to get to work each morning, “I look forward to getting up every morning and feeding Ava,” he says. “And when I first read that study about fathers being more happy the more time they spend with their kids, I was like, ‘That’s totally right.’ I feel magnificent. This experience has been so rewarding and I can see that Ava is benefitting from it.”

In Nigeria, how many fathers can do this?
http://www.maryannlive.com/2015/04/man-quits-his-job-in-microsoft-as.html

Lol if this happens in naija, even d wife sef go slap am.

;zh

Dis is funny

Naija wife fit turn am into houseboy. Him go cook, baff pikin, clean the house, even wash her clothers. Chai...

Touching,buh dis sh**t can't happen in Naija abi na stone the pikin go dey eat?try it here and watch your wife leave the marriage.

In Nigeria, how many fathers can do this?

*chokes on my coffee*

probably working from home.

vislabraye:
Naija wife fit turn am into houseboy. Him go cook, baff pikin, clean the house, even wash her clothers. Chai...

Ehmmm

If the wife is working and the husband is at home more, who should handle most of the chores?

tpiadotcom:
probably working from home.

I agree

:

bukatyne:


Ehmmm

If the wife is working and the husband is at home more, who should handle most of the chores?

You see. I don talk am....

vislabraye:



You see. I don talk am....

simple question

If the wife is working and the husband
is at home more, who should handle
most of the chores?

If it was in nigeria, smh , the woman will show that man peper. She will keep anouncing to the whole world that all the familly's financial budden is on her bla bla bla.

nice moves from the man.

Good for him.

Sacrificial father

Darling if you read this and get an epiphany i will sue your black ass for financial negligence!!! Just come back home by 5pm shikena.....

Story book-marked for future reference. This fool will be dusting his CV in no time. The wife will soon grow tired of his beta ass and will move to get someone more worthy. This family has five years max to survive.

Only someone who's financially buoyant, have some backups in form of investments et al can do this...

And yeah, he did say finance isn't a problem. .
If he were living from hand to mouth, he go no try am..

But then, still a good and selfless decision. ..

bukatyne:


Ehmmm

If the wife is working and the husband is at home more, who should handle most of the chores?

You see, therein lies the problem....
The dude resigned to take care of his kid and not become a houseboy now he would have to wash cloths, plates and even pants.. Am sure dat dude didn't look at the big picture else he would have told his wife to resign instead, why the wife no resign, shey na mama love strong pass....
I'd bet my balls that the dude would soon go back to writing applications when the enormity of his decision dawns on him....

As for your myopic question, bear in mind that they were both working at one point and there was some sort of arrangement as to how chores were shared.... The fact that the man resigned to take care of the kid should not change that, if the woman decides to be so big headed and tell him to wash her pants because he took a decision in the interest of the kid, he might just as well pick his CV and go back to work... Dat is if he has any sense at all..

Timbuktou:
Story book-marked for future reference. This fool will be dusting his CV in no time. The wife will soon grow tired of his beta ass and will move to get someone more worthy. This family has five years max to survive.

If that is indeed the situation, he can probably alleviate that by only doing it for a few years and then getting back to work when she starts school - she's already 2 years old. It's not as instinctive in men - he'll do well not to get bored before 2 years sef .


In the "Liberal West", men are becoming ever more feminised, with women making the reverse journey - so this kind of thing is to be increasingly expected, and to be honest more workable. Even if it's not what I would advise "generally", there is no reason why an individual couple could not make this work - and work well.

I note some peculiarities about their situation though, particulalrly the fact that they appear to have no financial strain as a result of this decision. If that "stash" his "his-theirs", or "theirs-theirs", as opposed to "hers-theirs", their should be no extra burden on her or feeling of resentment that she is funding this.

Interesting that he's younger? Maybe nothing in that - although Western men are increasingly shamed into marrying women their own age - but it's also possible the relationship is wife-led or more egalitarian anyway.

Also, he appears more advanced in his career and more likely to have a stake in any former employers - speaks to the finance thing. It may also be that she's on the cusp of bigger things in here career, so it makes sense for her to attain, instead of possibly regressing, which can happen when women take time out.

I wonder if they are planning more children? And if so when? Again, the trend is for smaller families now. I do think many families would be making plans with a second child as the focus; that would suggest the smart move would be for her to take in again - she is 36 after all - and him to keep working.

Wish them all the best, but generally women prefer their men to be active and situation usually demand it's the woman that does the stay-at-home-thingy. Only try it after due consideration.


TV

njokusboy:


You see, therein lies the problem....
The dude resigned to take care of his kid and not become a houseboy now he would have to wash cloths, plates and even pants.. Am sure dat dude didn't look at the big picture else he would have told his wife to resign instead, why the wife no resign, shey na mama love strong pass....
I'd bet my balls that the dude would soon go back to writing applications when the enormity of his decision dawns on him....

As for your myopic question, bear in mind that they were both working at one point and there was some sort of arrangement as to how chores were shared.... The fact that the man resigned to take care of the kid should not change that, if the woman decides to be so big headed and tell him to wash her pants because he took a decision in the interest of the kid, he might just as well pick his CV and go back to work... Dat is if he has any sense at all..

First, my question was not directed at you so I do not understand the 'myopic'?

I know this is a public forum and I expect to be quoted however, I will not tolerant nonsense posts

And that is my opinion.

If cleaning your own home makes you a houseboy, lucky you.

bukatyne:


First, my question was not directed at you so I do not understand the 'myopic'?

I know this is a public forum and I expect to be quoted however, I will tolerant nonsense posts

And that is my opinion.

If cleaning your own home makes you a houseboy, lucky you.

"Myopic" is what your opinion is, your post does not need to be directed to me, but I'd correct nonsense when I see it...
The man resigned because he needed to take care of the baby, nd not because he wanted to do domestic chores like cooking and washing, "something his wife could not even do" and the best you can suggest is that he should become a janitor as well because of something he did out of the goodness of his heart... This is a foolish suggestion...
He could do some extra work if he likes buts it's not in your place to suggest it, if he knew his wife would tell him to wash plates and cloths, he prolly wouldn't have resigned...
I hope the wife does not read this nonsense and make mockery of the man's noble gesture...
The wife should have been the one to resign, I think it's a bad move, the least the wife can do however, is to appreciate it.

TV01:

If that is indeed the situation, he can probably alleviate that by only doing it for a few years and then getting back to work when she starts school - she's already 2 years old. It's not as instinctive in men - he'll do well not to get bored before 2 years sef .


In the "Liberal West", men are becoming ever more feminised, with women making the reverse journey - so this kind of thing is to be increasingly expected, and to be honest more workable. Even if it's not what I would advise "generally", there is no reason why an individual couple could not make this work - and work well.

I note some peculiarities about their situation though, particulalrly the fact that they appear to have no financial strain as a result of this decision. If that "stash" his "his-theirs", or "theirs-theirs", as opposed to "hers-theirs", their should be no extra burden on her or feeling of resentment that she is funding this.

Interesting that he's younger? Maybe nothing in that - although Western men are increasingly shamed into marrying women their own age - but it's also possible the relationship is wife-led or more egalitarian anyway.

Also, he appears more advanced in his career and more likely to have a stake in any former employers - speaks to the finance thing. It may also be that she's on the cusp of bigger things in here career, so it makes sense for her to attain, instead of possibly regressing, which can happen when women take time out.

I wonder if they are planning more children? And if so when? Again, the trend is for smaller families now. I do think many families would be making plans with a second child as the focus; that would suggest the smart move would be for her to take in again - she is 36 after all - and him to keep working.

Wish them all the best, but generally women prefer their men to be active and situation usually demand it's the woman that does the stay-at-home-thingy. Only try it after due consideration.


TV

Tbh, I think you raise pretty valid points, I'm just curious as to what degree of value this man would hold for his wife as time wears on. This might seem cute and all now, but is a very risky path to tow especially considering the current marriage culture.

bukatyne:



I know this is a public forum and I expect to be quoted however, I will tolerant nonsense posts

Funny, you don't seem tolerant enough here.

njokusboy:


"Myopic" is what your opinion is, your post does not need to be directed to me, but I'd correct nonsense when I see it...
The man resigned because he needed to take care of the baby, nd not because he wanted to do domestic chores like cooking and washing, "something his wife could not even do" and the best you can suggest is that he should become a janitor as well because of something he did out of the goodness of his heart... This is a foolish suggestion...
He could do some extra work if he likes buts it's not in your place to suggest it, if he knew his wife would tell him to wash plates and cloths, he prolly wouldn't have resigned...
I hope the wife does not read this nonsense and make mockery of the man's noble gesture...
The wife should have been the one to resign, I think it's a bad move, the least the wife can do however, is to appreciate it.

In all sincerity, you are the one typing from a most shallow, ignorant and myopic perspective.

In your narrow mindedness, you assumed that the non Nigerian man reasons like you. Please do some research, Western men who make a decision to be stay at home dads cook and clean. They take the role a stay at home mum does.

Timbuktou:


Funny, you don't seem tolerant enough here.

Saint Bukky?

Evina:


In all sincerity, you are the one typing from a most shallow, ignorant and myopic perspective.

In your narrow mindedness, you assumed that the non Nigerian man reasons like you. Please do some research, Western men who make a decision to be stay at home dads cook and clean. They take the role a stay at home mum does.

Sharap, you blockhead, were you a man in ur former life? You have never being a man so don't open your mouth and talk about how a man reasons...
The man is not a stay at home dad, he resigned because he wanted to bond with his child, his wife wasn't a stay at home wife either, prior to his resignation, there must have been some arrangements as to how domestic chores were shared, if he decides that he wants to take up more responsibilities, he is free to do so... You pple don't get to suggest it....He didn't resign because there was too much work to do at home... simple..

njokusboy:


Sharap, you blockhead, were you a man in ur former life? You have never being a man so don't open your mouth and talk about how a man reasons...
The man is not a stay at home dad, he resigned because he wanted to bond with his child, his wife wasn't a stay at home wife either, prior to his resignation, there must have been some arrangements as to how domestic chores were shared, if he decides that he wants to take up more responsibilities, he is free to do so... You pple don't get to suggest it....He didn't resign because there was too much work to do at home... simple..

Very well spoken

njokusboy:


Sharap, you blockhead, were you a man in ur former life? You have never being a man so don't open your mouth and talk about how a man reasons...
The man is not a stay at home dad, he resigned because he wanted to bond with his child, his wife wasn't a stay at home wife either, prior to his resignation, there must have been some arrangements as to how domestic chores were shared, if he decides that he wants to take up more responsibilities, he is free to do so... You pple don't get to suggest it....He didn't resign because there was too much work to do at home... simple..

You are so dense, it is hilarious as well as pathetic. Well, knock yourself out. LOL

Most Nigerian women can never be comfortable with an arrangement like this for extended periods no matter how much they try to paint it in good light.

Any man married to a Nigerian woman who decides to quit his job to be a house-husband has himself to blame when the disrespect and mild insults start pouring in.

Evina:


You are so dense, it is hilarious as well as pathetic. Well, knock yourself out. LOL

You are a pestilential ignoramus, I am trying to tell ur dumb a'r"se that the man is not required to do domestic chores if he doesn't want to, since dat was not why he resigned and you are talking about how pathetic your father is.... God punish you there... if you know you're not ready to kip up, don't quote me...