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Should A Man Take A Second Wife If The First Is Infertile??? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Should A Man Take A Second Wife If The First Is Infertile??? by mistabiola: 5:32am On May 03, 2015
tpiadotcom:
Its afternoon now.

You did not answer the question of what should the wife do when the husband is infertile.

If you did, kindly repost.

I have seen a situation whereby the wife was the one telling his husband to marry another wife but the man refused. The wife is trying to be rational and not emotional. In my own case, I will be rational as well if I am the one with same issue.
Re: Should A Man Take A Second Wife If The First Is Infertile??? by Nobody: 6:42am On May 03, 2015
I'm surprised that people get married without running health tests before marriage... Some people even run spiritual test on their "to-be spouse".

Love is not the all that matters before you walk down the aisle with your spouse, you guys have to be compartiible financially, emotionally, mentally, physically (health), and spiritually
Re: Should A Man Take A Second Wife If The First Is Infertile??? by jnrbayano(m): 6:48am On May 03, 2015
mistabiola:
Should a man take a second wife if the first is infertile


I need your candid opinion!!!

Constructive argument is allowed!!!

Once you tell me the meaning of these lines of vow on the wedding day then I can answer you:

1. "For better for worse"

2. "In sickness and in health"

*Edited*

Oh!...someone on the first page has already addressed my concern using my very own style. Didn't even read that page before commenting.

Cool... smiley
Re: Should A Man Take A Second Wife If The First Is Infertile??? by ApexTitan(m): 7:00am On May 03, 2015
If the primary aim for entering into the marriage was to raise children and it has been proven that the wife is unable to have any then the man may well marry another wife. This position presupposes that both parties are comfortable with polygamy.
Re: Should A Man Take A Second Wife If The First Is Infertile??? by interleukin(f): 9:38am On May 03, 2015
juman:
The first step is to find out the reason behind their childlessness and find solution.

But the husband has right to marry second wife when he wishes and can take care of them.

Pathetic sad especially the part where you said its His RIGHT. Smh

1 Like

Re: Should A Man Take A Second Wife If The First Is Infertile??? by juman(m): 9:49am On May 03, 2015
interleukin:


Pathetic sad especially the part where you said its His RIGHT. Smh

If the hsband is a muslim, islam allows up to four wives if he can take care of them.

Generally it is the right of african man to marry more than one wife.
Re: Should A Man Take A Second Wife If The First Is Infertile??? by mistabiola: 10:11am On May 03, 2015
jnrbayano:


Once you tell me the meaning of these lines of vow on the wedding day then I can answer you:

1. "For better for worse"

2. "In sickness and in health"

*Edited*

Oh!...someone on the first page has already addressed my concern using my very own style. Didn't even read that page before commenting.

Cool... smiley

If you know your wife is infertile and your health is very much okay, what will you do? Maybe after 9years of waiting
Re: Should A Man Take A Second Wife If The First Is Infertile??? by EfemenaXY: 11:19am On May 03, 2015
mistabiola:


This is a family matter and I think you should understand that the parents of the husband will keep pressurizing the man after like 5years of infertility.

And the parents of the woman won't pressurize her after wasting five years of her limited child-bearing years with an infertile husband? Or is that not a family matter too? Having an infertile man??

3 Likes

Re: Should A Man Take A Second Wife If The First Is Infertile??? by jnrbayano(m): 11:31am On May 03, 2015
mistabiola:


If you know your wife is infertile and your health is very much okay, what will you do? Maybe after 9years of waiting

When did you know she is infertile?

Before or after the two vows I pointed you to?
Re: Should A Man Take A Second Wife If The First Is Infertile??? by mistabiola: 11:48am On May 03, 2015
jnrbayano:


When did you know she is infertile?

Before or after the two vows I pointed you to?

After getting married to her!!!
Re: Should A Man Take A Second Wife If The First Is Infertile??? by mistabiola: 11:50am On May 03, 2015
EfemenaXY:


And the parents of the woman won't pressurize her after wasting five years of her limited child-bearing years with an infertile husband? Or is that not a family matter too? Having an infertile man??

Don't get it wrong here, I'm referring to the lady being infertile here.
Re: Should A Man Take A Second Wife If The First Is Infertile??? by jnrbayano(m): 12:00pm On May 03, 2015
mistabiola:


After getting married to her!!!

Weren't there some health test carried out on you guys before you went into IT?
Re: Should A Man Take A Second Wife If The First Is Infertile??? by mistabiola: 12:18pm On May 03, 2015
jnrbayano:


Weren't there some health test carried out on you guys before you went into IT?

Omg!!! Why you come dey act like say you no be naija man, you think say na all naijaman dey go for all test before getting married, the most common test wey naijaman dey do na just blood group and genotype. The rest is history.
Re: Should A Man Take A Second Wife If The First Is Infertile??? by tpiadotcom: 2:14pm On May 03, 2015
mistabiola:
. .. .


So in essence, you're saying you support a wife taking a second husband in such a scenario.

2 Likes

Re: Should A Man Take A Second Wife If The First Is Infertile??? by mistabiola: 2:22pm On May 03, 2015
tpiadotcom:


So in essence, you're saying you support a wife taking a second husband in such a scenario.

No, I will tell her to go with her heart, if she chooses to stay fine and if it is the other way round, fine too.
Re: Should A Man Take A Second Wife If The First Is Infertile??? by jnrbayano(m): 2:24pm On May 03, 2015
mistabiola:


Omg!!! Why you come dey act like say you no be naija man, you think say na all naijaman dey go for all test before getting married, the most common test wey naijaman dey do na just blood group and genotype. The rest is history.

There lies your undoing.

2 Likes

Re: Should A Man Take A Second Wife If The First Is Infertile??? by mistabiola: 4:00pm On May 03, 2015
jnrbayano:


There lies your undoing.

I'm referring to the populace and not me.
Re: Should A Man Take A Second Wife If The First Is Infertile??? by jnrbayano(m): 5:03pm On May 03, 2015
mistabiola:


I'm referring to the populace and not me.

I wont tell you to do something outside the tenets of your marital vows.

I'm that respectful.

The populace here is hugely insignificant.

2 Likes

Re: Should A Man Take A Second Wife If The First Is Infertile??? by mistabiola: 5:45pm On May 03, 2015
jnrbayano:


I wont tell you to do something outside the tenets of your marital vows.

I'm that respectful.

The populace here is hugely insignificant.

Noted
Re: Should A Man Take A Second Wife If The First Is Infertile??? by EfemenaXY: 7:10pm On May 03, 2015
mistabiola:


Don't get it wrong here, I'm referring to the lady being infertile here.

And I'm saying it works both ways.

If you're of the school of thought that it's okay for a man to on another wife because the first is infertile, then that logic of yours should also be applicable if the situation is reversed. i.e: infertile man married to a fertile woman. It should also be okay for her to marry a second husband too.

What's good for the goose should be equally good for the gander. Abi?

4 Likes

Re: Should A Man Take A Second Wife If The First Is Infertile??? by tpiadotcom: 2:06am On May 04, 2015
mistabiola:


No, I will tell her to go with her heart, if she chooses to stay fine and if it is the other way round, fine too.



Do you have something against adoption?

2 Likes

Re: Should A Man Take A Second Wife If The First Is Infertile??? by Nobody: 7:07am On May 04, 2015
mistabiola:


Let's assume the man is your son and after 6 years of marriage they are yet to have a baby and all the test and effort shows that the wife of your son is infertile, will you still advise your son not to take another wife Because of for better for worse
Don't mind them. They would sit on the internet and be yearning rubbish.

A man or woman has a right to seek divorce or whatsoever pleases them in situations as such. Children are the fruits of a marriage. yeah adoption sounds lovely on paper but we are still in a traditional African setting where everyone wants their own flesh of flesh and even the process of adoption is more lengthy and very expensive in this part of the world.

For better for worse, is a vow that has limitations. You can't condemn a man or woman to a life of pain if children is a big thing for them. Who knows maybe the lady or guy got infertile due to their recklessness while young. So you expect the other partner to bear the brunt of such.?


mtsheww.....I don't like why people like forming civilised and all sorts without facing the reality and facts of what marriage is in an African setting. Children are an integral part of the marriage and if you have exhausted all logical and health means and the results are zero. Please man or woman find someone else to ply your trade with except if children is not a priority to you.

1 Like

Re: Should A Man Take A Second Wife If The First Is Infertile??? by tpiadotcom: 7:49am On May 04, 2015
There is nothing unafrican about adopting.

People adopt all the time, in different ways.

And yes, sometimes biological children do come after a couple might have adopted.

Why someone is infertile is not always the issue.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should A Man Take A Second Wife If The First Is Infertile??? by allycat: 12:09pm On May 04, 2015
I am talking from expirience here, I had my kids after 11 years of marriage and God blessed us with twin boys. Thank God for the husband I married and the family he was from that encouraged us for those years of waiting. His friend meanwhile divorced his first wife after 5 years and remarried a younger girl that has 2 children now. I cant say if he is happy or not but I noticed he disn't go for functions with the new wife unlike the first wife, the lunches and dinners he always used to invite us for in his house have ceased and he is so interested in boys nights out nowadays always asking my husband to go for drinks and this is someone I never knew to touch alcohol. But I guess the important thing for some is that he has kids.

6 Likes

Re: Should A Man Take A Second Wife If The First Is Infertile??? by KanwuliaJara: 1:03pm On May 04, 2015
Yes!
His choice and his PREROGATIVE! kiss
Re: Should A Man Take A Second Wife If The First Is Infertile??? by AniiaCares: 3:32pm On Jul 02, 2015
Irrespective of whether it is culturally acceptable for him to do so or not (and really, the problem of infertility may lie with the man or the woman), but it is needless for them to have to suffer in silence or face the dissolution of their marriage or for a man to take another wife when there is medical help available through the miracle of modern science that can benefit the situation. As someone with experience in the field, I am available to discuss alternatives with any interested parties discreetly.
Re: Should A Man Take A Second Wife If The First Is Infertile??? by teambuck2u: 3:55pm On Jul 02, 2015
I would advise him to remarry or take on a second wife if he can afford it. If a woman wants to leave a home because her husband is infertile, she's at liberty to do so.
Re: Should A Man Take A Second Wife If The First Is Infertile??? by shevon: 7:19am On Jul 03, 2015
Answer this: Should a woman take a second husband if her husband is impotent?
The thing is that we misplace our priorities; wen the man was marrying the woman, did he tell her he was marrying her because of children? If they have that understanding, no wahala. If otherwise, haba, you promised to stay with her for better for worse. Not being able to bear children is one of the worse, deal with it.

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