We got married about 4 years and we only have a child who is 2 years and 8 months. Before we got married, she would come to my home and clean everywhere...toilet, kitchen and all. She would even go as far as sweeping my balcony and washing my wears. This made me to choose her over my first love. She knows about this because many people around me; my friends and family members like and praise her for her cleanliness. But for some months now since she became pregnant, she just leaves everywhere untidy. When I complain or do the cleaning myself at times, she says I nag at her and that I am not considerate of her predicament. I tell her she was never this lazy when we had our first child. But she sees things differently now. Our rooms and everywhere at home is now an eyesore. I hate coming home. I am afraid I don't want this to affect my love for her because I am beginning to tag her as a dirty woman. I feel like quitting this whole shit and get back my wife again. Recently my friend advised me to get a cleaner to do the house cleaning for me and I pay her because if the reason for marrying my wife is to keep my house tidy, I should have married a cleaner.

Now Nairaland, please don't get me wrong. I am a supportive husband. I am in my early 30s and she is just 27 years. I just started my career with not to encouraging income. I work from 7am to 8p.m everyday and I live on mainland, work in Lekki...close to Ajah. So I get tired most time I get home. How do I pay a cleaner with my little earning? I can't even afford to bring a family member to help with house work because I don't think I can afford to feed him or her now that I am even expecting a new baby. I need your mature advise familylander. Please, don't insult me or my wife. If you don't have anything to say, you can just keep silent.

My brother, it is a normal thing for women. The process of child bearing comes with many funny behaviour from them. You can't predict them but you can manage them to make you live long. Try check up www.afterlifecleaning.com or call 08180458852 for a good cleaning plan. A cleaner does not need to show up at your home everyday so you can pay less and achieve more. They have different plans available for you. Try them and don't forget to thank me later.

Your wife is currently pregnant yet you want her to carry that pregnancy along with the stress of taking care of your first child to clean the house perfectly?


Better go and find a cleaner and stop stressing the poor woman.

Brother neither of you is wrong. Most people like a clean environment so I won't blame you.

However the condition called pregnancy is quite peculiar as it can cause alot of changes in the woman's body e.g (pulse,blood pressure,hormonal imbalances, metabolic rate. ) you should be happy she is not vomiting all over the house .
Remember that you put her in that situation so you need to be more UNDERSTANDING.

In addition, the population of your household has increased from 2 when you were dating to 3 and half now. That means more work for everyone.

This is the reason I advise men to learn basic home chores and cooking skills 101. You don't get married to a woman because she can cook and clean, the day she incapacitated like this, you house will be in disarray.

Try and strike a deal with a someone that can come to clean the house once or twice a week.

Shalom

Sorry about what you are going through now. Since your wife wasn't like that before, i sincerely feel it's the pregnancy. I'm currently pregnant, and my first trimester was hell. It was so bad that I couldn't lift a finger. Hubby was so mad at me that we fought at the slightest things.

He later realised it wasn't my fault at all. My previous pregnancies weren't like that. Hubby had to assume cooking duties, and taking care of our first baby. I currently don't work because I resigned from my former place of work to be united with my hubby in another state. When he goes to work, he drops our son off in sch, I try as much as I can to put a few things in place, eat and go back to bed.

I'm over that stage now, perfectly fine and I have resumed my wifey duties back. I'll advice you to be patient, help in any way you can and make sure that you minimize the level at which your baby scatters or disorganizes the house.

If its still not so clean, you can get a cleaner from your office to help maybe once a week,preferably on Saturdays. Just give her food and transport fare
That was what I did during my lazy days during my previous pregnancies.
May God grant us all safe delivery.

You are very selfish and inconsiderate. How do you expect a pregnant woman to keep doing those hard chores with pregnancy. It is obvious you were looking for a slave and not a wife you will love,marry and live together as one, instead you married her to be your slave and clean all the rubbish in your life.

My friend, this your topic is very annoying and if you were close to me,honestly I would give you a dirty slap to reset your brain.
Your friend already told you "you should have married a cleaner and not a wife"

Work hard and make extra money, hire a house help to support you wife.

UnlimitedNG:
We got married about 4 years and we only have a child who is 2 years and 8 months. Before we got married, she would come to my home and clean everywhere...toilet, kitchen and all. She would even go as far as sweeping my balcony and washing my wears. This made me to choose her over my first love. She knows about this because many people around me; my friends and family members like and praise her for her cleanliness. But for some months now since she became pregnant, she just leaves everywhere untidy. When I complain or do the cleaning myself at times, she says I nag at her and that I am not considerate of her predicament. I tell her she was never this lazy when we had our first child. But she sees things differently now. Our rooms and everywhere at home is now an eyesore. I hate coming home. I am afraid I don't want this to affect my love for her because I am beginning to tag her as a dirty woman. I feel like quitting this whole shit and get back my wife again. Recently my friend advised me to get a cleaner to do the house cleaning for me and I pay her because if the reason for marrying my wife is to keep my house tidy, I should have married a cleaner.

Now Nairaland, please don't get me wrong. I am a supportive husband. I am in my early 30s and she is just 27 years. I just started my career with not to encouraging income. I work from 7am to 8p.m everyday and I live on mainland, work in Lekki...close to Ajah. So I get tired most time I get home. How do I pay a cleaner with my little earning? I can't even afford to bring a family member to help with house work because I don't think I can afford to feed him or her now that I am even expecting a new baby. I need your mature advise familylander. Please, don't insult me or my wife. If you don't have anything to say, you can just keep silent.

You just said she's pregnant. How can you expect her to still function the way she used to

It's your fault for marrying someone based on something flimsy like her washing your boxers. What if the children start coming, do you think she will still have the time to wash your 'wears' Your shallow decision is the cause of your problem, not your wife.

Please allow the woman jor . . .

Let me tell you when I was single my home was always spotless. But now after almost a decade of marriage and 4 kids, I can't even wash the dishes. Yes, I have a full-time maid and a part-time nanny and they do ALL the chores. When I'm not working I'm lounging in my room and binge on whatever movie I choose.

People burn out . . don't expect the energy levels to remain the same forever.

Either you clean the house yourself or you get a housekeeper, simple!

Help her in cleaning the house na. Be sensitive, she's pregnant.

When we tell some women not to do what they naturally wouldn't do in other to win over a man only for them to change once they achieved their aim, they would say we are not wife materials.

Op, you don't have extra money to pay cleaners but you are not paying her for doing the extra she is doing, later you will use your mouth to say "my wife is not working and not contributing anything to the house".

Oya na, do your chores yourself and allow the poor woman be, your baby is growing in her and another one she is tending to, you don't expect her to die from chores.

Next time, don't bring that your prick close her if you are not ready to carry out the duty associated with it

Don't you know the strength she had then is different from how strong she is now. You can't compare it.

Abeg clean up your house to prevent your unborn baby from contracting disease

UnlimitedNG:
We got married about 4 years and we only have a child who is 2 years and 8 months. Before we got married, she would come to my home and clean everywhere...toilet, kitchen and all. She would even go as far as sweeping my balcony and washing my wears. This made me to choose her over my first love. She knows about this because many people around me; my friends and family members like and praise her for her cleanliness. But for some months now since she became pregnant, she just leaves everywhere untidy. When I complain or do the cleaning myself at times, she says I nag at her and that I am not considerate of her predicament. I tell her she was never this lazy when we had our first child. But she sees things differently now. Our rooms and everywhere at home is now an eyesore. I hate coming home. I am afraid I don't want this to affect my love for her because I am beginning to tag her as a dirty woman. I feel like quitting this whole shit and get back my wife again. Recently my friend advised me to get a cleaner to do the house cleaning for me and I pay her because if the reason for marrying my wife is to keep my house tidy, I should have married a cleaner.

Now Nairaland, please don't get me wrong. I am a supportive husband. I am in my early 30s and she is just 27 years. I just started my career with not to encouraging income. I work from 7am to 8p.m everyday and I live on mainland, work in Lekki...close to Ajah. So I get tired most time I get home. How do I pay a cleaner with my little earning? I can't even afford to bring a family member to help with house work because I don't think I can afford to feed him or her now that I am even expecting a new baby. I need your mature advise familylander. Please, don't insult me or my wife. If you don't have anything to say, you can just keep silent.

The bolded is the reason why things have changed, each pregnancy is different, that she had it easy with the first doesn't mean it will be the same with the 2nd.

Sorry theres isn't much you can do about this, she will only do what she's strong enough to do and please understand that. It would have been easier if you could afford someone coming to clean even if its twice weekly.

This is where the for better for worse comes in, she is still the neat woman you married but she just cant cope anymore due to circumstances that both of you created.

Why would your love now want diminish because she doesn't have strenght for house chores again. For over 4years she's been the clean wife you would have to do the cleaning you have the time to do.

There are days she might not even want to stand up from the bed at all, some pregnant women had to resign from work due to fatique, some had it good all through their pregnancies and they were strong all through. Women are different and each pregnancy is different please and please understand that. Then add fatique to taking care of your first child you would know shes not having it easy.

If you can get someone that can help, if you can manage to squeeze out some token to appreciate them it would be good but if not you would have to carry out those chores.


Arrrh money does solve some issues sha.

Vyolet:
When we tell some women not to do what they naturally wouldn't do in other to win over a man only for them to change once they achieved their aim, they would say we are not wife materials.

Op, you don't have extra money to pay cleaners but you are not paying her for doing the extra she is doing, later you will use your mouth to say "my wife is not working and not contributing anything to the house".

Oya na, do your chores yourself and allow the poor woman be, your baby is growing in her and you don't expect her to die from chores.


Taink you.

Haba! So na you be the first love that the @OP mentioned that he dropped to go marry him wife? Pele.

OP your wife is currently pregnant and also taking care of a TODDLER! WTH! If you can't afford a part time cleaner to assist your wife how can you afford two kids under 3?

Tagging her dirty shows how inconsiderate and selfish you're.

I used to have this thing about Housewives, I felt all they did was watch TV and gossip all day till I had my first child and I had to stay home for a year, worst time of my life. Before then I worked non stop for five years and I preferred working than staying home. It's SUPER HARD, you cook, clean,wash and when you want to rest baby wakes up.

Help your wife!

your finances are not in order you have 2 kids already . yet you are having more. why do people inflict themselves with problems in life like this na. Clean the house before you go to work na. pregnant with 2 kids chai. how do you expect her to clean well

Jesus is truly Lord!

She's pregnant, caring for your 2yrs old, cooking your meals and you still want her to do all the chores. Haaaa! If I type what's on my mind, the mod will ban me till 2050! Whew!

Sometimes I feel that way. I clean one room per day sometimes. Today na visitors toilet and veranda. Tomorrow fit be living room and one bedroom. Such is life! Na because We get house na why we fit Dey quarrel over cleanliness.
Be grateful for what u have brother!
A good wife
A son
A child on the way
No ttc journey to look for children
A job
Good health
Should I continue?
Oya bye bye

You married her because she could clean. Now that she can't clean you want to run. This is a lesson to singles. Marry for deep reasons and not for superficial reasons
Enough said.

You better double your Hustle and get a cleaner for your wife..

Don't say because she could cope with the first pregnancy, so she should work tirelessly in this one too.. I noticed that one pregnancy can be more bearable than the other...

Your wife need rest and should not be stressed during pregnancy...

If a hardworking person tell you that he/she needs helping hand, never doubt it...

sisisioge:
Jesus is truly Lord!

She's pregnant, caring for your 2yrs old, cooking your meals and you still want her to do all the chores. Haaaa! If I type what's on my mind, the mod will ban me till 2050! Whew!

type am

This is not enough to grumble, man. What do you do with your weekends (Saturday and Sunday)?

Find a way to help and try to reduce the quantity of household stuff you keep in the house. If you have items you haven't used in 2-3 years, please dispose.

When you embrace a minimalist setting/design, you're saving yourself at least 50% of workload, time, expenses, and stress.

You don't need 20 plates in your house, you're not a restaurant. You don't need 10 pots. Keep them minimal and save yourself unecessary maintenance and workload.

When the few get old or outdated, dispose all and get new sets. There are clothes you no longer need. Don't keep 10 bedsheets. This is how to run a home. The more empty spaces you have, the lower your stress level.

Because her uncleanliness started since she got pregnant, then it's likely the pregnancy hormones, although pregnancy does not render one incapable of doing household chores or keeping the house clean. When my SIL was pregnant I would visit to see her doing chores around the house and they've two small kids now. But every woman is different during pregnancy; just be patient w| yours until normalcy is restored.

theButterfly:
Because her uncleanliness started since she got pregnant, then it's likely the pregnancy hormones , although pregnancy does not render one incapable of doing household chores or keeping the house clean in general. When my SIL was pregnant I would visit to see her doing chores

Do you speak English at all?

Acidosis:
This is not enough to grumble, man. What do you do with your weekends (Saturday and Sunday)?

Find a way to help and try to reduce the quantity of household stuff you keep in the house. If you have items you haven't used in 2-3 years, please dispose.

When you embrace a minimalist setting/design, you're saving yourself at least 50% of workload, time, expenses, and stress.

You don't need 20 plates in your house, you're not a restaurant. You don't need 10 pots. Keep them minimal and save yourself unecessary maintenance and workload.

When the few get old or outdated, dispose all and get new sets. There are clothes you no longer need. Don't keep 10 bedsheets. This is how to run a home. The more empty spaces you have, the lower your stress level.

The best advice so far on this thread apart from mine. @OP Take note.

Op...no two pregnancies are the same.
I ve two kids...I was energetic when I was pregnant with my second..I clean, mopped,cooked and the rest.

I know your job z demanding,but please take it easy on her.

DanielJones:

Do you speak English at all?

Perhaps you can come and teach me in Canada because you apparently know more English than I do. Dummy.

Oga get a house help and stop blabbing like a broken speaker, what nonsense

zed7:
You married her because she could clean. Now that she can't clean you want to run. This is a lesson to singles. Marry for deep reasons and not for superficial reasons
Enough said.

Na only you Sabi Wetin dey happen.

The wife has lost her selling point.

Whether temporal or permanent is yet to be determined.

My love it's been ages.howdy?

bukatyne:




Na only you Sabi Wetin dey happen.

The wife has lost her selling point.

Whether temporal or permanent is yet to be determined.

ahnie:
My love it's been ages.howdy?

I am good Mama Zino

How are you and family?

bukatyne:


I am good Mama Zino

How are you and family?

We're excellent my Cherie!

Glad to read from you!

theButterfly:
Perhaps you can come and teach me in Canada because you apparently know more English than I do. Dummy.

I asked a question because I could not comprehend your expression. I expected you to respond by taking some efforts to go through what you wrote and make it clearer. Dummy? No, I'm DanielJones

Your wife will be back to her self immediately she gets some relief from the pregnancy. If only u understand what women face during pregnancy and taking care of a child at the same time.. In fact this is a time she needs u more.