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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? (33726 Views)
Crazy Things Women Do To Save Their Marriages / Difference Between Olden Days Marriage And Modern Days Marriage / Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by honeric01(m): 1:53pm On May 15, 2015 |
beryl04: Oh..meaning there is no 100% gender equality in the west? Are the men in the west also oppressing and suppressing women in their marriages and not just Africans? |
Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by Youngpo413: 1:59pm On May 15, 2015 |
In the olden days,they were fuckinnng in a missionary position only,unlike today of dogggggy style,wheel barrow,angel on horse back etc. |
Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by Nobody: 2:44pm On May 15, 2015 |
money was not the driving force in the older marriage, twas all about love and commitment. the newer ones are premised on falsehood and deception, emphasis is on the wedding ceremony and not the marriage, so they crash easily cos the parties involved only want the benefits of wedding, and not the responsibilities of a married life. |
Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by tucky200(m): 2:49pm On May 15, 2015 |
bankai2015:Nyc...m almost tru wif naruto ....is bleach as interesting as naruto ? |
Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by jnrbayano(m): 2:51pm On May 15, 2015 |
babyosisi: The above careless assertion makes it difficult to engage you. |
Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by olumidazz: 3:28pm On May 15, 2015 |
my submission basically is that majority of people who advocate for easy marriage disolusion nowadays grew up in very abusive and disfuctional homes and backgrounds and thus thier way of reasoning . I have found out that people make judgements based on personal experiences rather than relative and applicable facts and hardly will you see a man or woman who grew up in a healthy home advocate for this. Just as bad as our society is generally these days, there are still a lot of blissful marriages irespective of the times we live in. A man or woman who grew up in an abusive home will hardly ever make a good husband or a good wife except by the special grace of the man above. so blame it on your parents for those of you who do not know that marriage is a sacrifice and a covenant rather that a contract. really a lot of folks were not even thought core values and essentials of life, tell me how will they make a responsible husband or wife? 4 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by Moana(f): 3:38pm On May 15, 2015 |
brownlord:everything has become a woman's fault. Whatever happened to men taking responsibility too? |
Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by simdam500(m): 4:06pm On May 15, 2015 |
Because the parents choose who is suitable enough |
Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by Adaeze003(f): 4:32pm On May 15, 2015 |
Bollinger: Are you a guy?? Lol @ intellectually docile. |
Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by Toks2008(m): 4:46pm On May 15, 2015 |
Ngokafor: Lol! no be quarrel o, take am easy. All you wrote are seconded by me and i can't remember stating otherwise so i was so put aback with the way you attacked me with your comments. |
Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by egobetatoday: 6:21pm On May 15, 2015 |
Toks2008: i agree with almost everythjng u wrote. my questions are what are the non reconcilable issues? will u term battering, infidelity etc reconcilable or non reconcilable issues? |
Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by olumidazz: 6:40pm On May 15, 2015 |
I also found out recently that majority of those mothers of old who were kind of docile and submissive to their husbands thought there daughters of nowadays to be recalcitrant and termagant even when thier mothers docility and submissiveness contributed to the longitivity and success of their marriage. |
Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by Toks2008(m): 7:09pm On May 15, 2015 |
egobetatoday: In actual fact there is nothing like irreconcilable differences perse but a term from the pits of hell.WHY? THERE WILL ALWAYS BE IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES EVEN BETWEEN TWINS FROM SAME WOMB. wife batteribg is the only reason strong enough for divorce as this involves the risk of life but also,these act can be tamed if the lady gets the appopriate authorities involved. Most of us are the architect of our marital problems ncos most issues pple tag irreconcilable have always been there long bfore marriage but the adrenal feeling of love blindfolds us and the silliest idiosycrasy of our partners is just ok by us then after the initial giss giss fades off,we tend to now see these same stuffs as irrconsilable. |
Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by chibic(m): 8:35pm On May 15, 2015 |
The reason is not far fetched. Women of today marries for money and for the sake of the title "mrs", nothing else. They go into marriage and mess it up. How do you expect a woman to marry a man she barely know and never loved to make marriage bearable for the man? She will turn his world upside down. Some of them will still be hooking up with their ex bfs who they truly loved and dumped for a rich man. Women of today are just too selfish. They about themselves and hapiness alone. You'll be killing yourself to make money and give her all she wants only for her to say thank you with lines like " you are never there for me, you are more interested in your job". Before you know it, they are messing around with another guy with your hard earned money sef. Then next is equality this, equality that.. They go into marriage to have power tussle with their husbands. They moment she makes more money than you or you becomes jobless, count your yourself a dead man walking. Ever worked under a female boss? You'll get what I'm saying. They abuse every opportunity they get. |
Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by tmosco(m): 10:26pm On May 15, 2015 |
The simple fact is morality. Both male and females like morals we like copying the West why not carry their high divorce rate. Where a spouse can divorce each other because of boredom. Smh. Just laughing at the people that says virginity isn't important. The person that says u should get married first must be stupid. If virginity isn't a big deal and easy why are people not virgins. You cherish wat u work more than Wat is given.Fact of life. |
Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by Nobody: 11:46pm On May 15, 2015 |
SirLewis:. . In other words.... The whitemen are the ones killing our generation for us!.... Our useless generation base their interest on what the whitemen have got to offer on daily basis... Expecting one to fill among...and if u're not n that category...then u're a nobody... . . For instance... If a whiteman postulate that... "The amount of rose flower a man gives to a woman, reduces depression and makes any relationship looks healthy, psychologically proven"... This will be put into movies...making the movie an award winning movie... Now our girls will expect us to do likewise...from what they ignorant observe in a movie... And if we do not buy such ideas... They'll come to Nairaland and open threads giving us one million reasons why our girls should marry a white man to an african man!... How pathetic! . . This generation is suffering!... The things we see on movies aint real... Even their dramas aint real... A typical American isn't allow to expose his or her body to avoid public sexual inconvenience... And they will never play music loud to discomfort their neighbours! . . But on movies... We've seen how this white Americans walk unclad and how they play rock musics loud enough... Movies are what we see and seek that kindaf living....when America have series of laws that is very inconvenient for a typical black man to cope!... . . It bleeds my heart to see that...this generation will suffer more on marriage than we've noticed... Just last month... One of the P'squares took into Instagram to banter into photo battle with his wife! How stupid? At this generation? What are we becoming? |
Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by bayo6(m): 10:59pm On May 16, 2015 |
The reason why many marriages covenanted before 1980 lasted was partly because of awareness of cultural values,sexists and influence of strong religious approach to marriage. Many such marriages knowingly or not have gone through proper counselling i.e where experience or stories that shook many homes to his foundations were recounted e.g of a father sleeping with her daughter, a woman or wife been caught cheating.This usually led to accepted stigma to a family and societal consequences attached.We men do many things and get away with it but once this is done by the women another story is told.Marriages covenanted at the said period went through accepted cultural and societal counselling values. Today, marriage counselors and process of counselling lack proper tools or understanding to bring the reality of marriage to the aspirants involved.If during a counselling the man was told that his wife would sleep with his driver or house boy and or brother and the wife was told that her husband would impregnate her sister and even try to sleep with her mother.What would have been the decision of the aspiring husband and wife?.Such counselling brings reality of life on the table for those wishing to go through the treacherous but divinely establish bond.Marriage can be equated to the story of the Israelites in the book of Joshua.From the beginning of that book assurance of victory, wealth and power was given to Joshua.This is so in marriage.Many marriages celebrated on TV today starts with such promises but the rigor and dangers remain unknown.The first phase of that journey (Israelites) was with power and resounding victory.The second phase came with true but pathetic incident,that of Achan, who despite knowing the consequences of disobedience, deceit and covetousness brought death and defeat to the people during their maiden journey.As many would agree with me men and women in marriages have brought disaster as done by Achan upon the family and their innocent offsprings. Such errors in most cases leads to collapse of marriages. From this book (Anyone interested should sturdy the book),Joshua, who was the leader and spiritual head or husband had to consult God or sought higher power for the cause and source of the disaster.Many men have abandon this position hence many problems in the family.One notable aspect of this scenario is that there were priests, pastors, imams in that society but Joshua,recognizing his duty as the head he carried out the consultation with almighty himself.As husband men have to be conversant with true spiritual guidance to lead and not give this responsibility to another.It was after this that the cause and the source of the problem or bottleneck was revealed to him and the problem was removed. Marriages covenanted today can still be strong and last even longer that those of our parents if we men recognize and accept our role as the spiritual head of our families.In conclusion advice given to Joshua in Chapter 1 verse 8 "This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success." will as it says make marriages and our offsprings. |
Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by Mowire: 1:14am On May 17, 2015 |
Tallesty1: The olden days marriages were never based on love (at least in southern Nigeria that I know of). They were based on admiration, recommendation and respect; and they survived mostly on respect for family honours, respect of obligations/roles and love. The wives of old know and play their roles as wives and not as equal partners to their husbands and the husbands know that their honors depended on how well they treated their wives. This is what created and nourished the love they eventually find in their marriages. The same respect for roles was the reason they were able to raise better and more responsible children than we do. The child would not ordinarily stand up to the father because he/she did not see mummy doing same. Ps: I did not read the entire thread. So I don't know if anyone has posted same opinion. |
Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by mylove4him(f): 7:26pm On Jul 31, 2016 |
Marriages of those days was based on endurance and women tolerating men. The women were totally dependent on the men for food, shelter and also training their children. As they couldn't fend for themselves so they had to stay and endure. The marriages weren't based on love but endurance and tolerance. This modern women can stand on their own so they tend to stand on their own without tolerating sh*t from a man. They work and they are independent. So even if they divorce they can stand on their own. Cos they are financially independent. |
Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by temibobo(f): 9:17pm On Jul 31, 2016 |
Has it occurred to anybody that those long lasting marriages of olden days resulted in todays generation? Yes back in the day people stayed married..for better for worse, a daily beating, shouting match, adultery, happened back then aswell....while their kids watched it like a soap opera. Today we have a generation of people who are clueless, men want the perks of being "head" of the home, but dont want the responsability that comes with that. Women want a fairytaile wedding and expect their marriage to be like that aswell. Due to women being more empowered and society less condemning of divorce, and with social media to document it all, its only logic there is more divorce. When 2 people join together and show their true faces to eachother, without hidden agenda's, and they still love/like eachother...then a marriage is likely to work out. However...how many show their true faces before marriage these days? |
Re: Why Do Olden Days Marriages Last Longer Than Modern Ones? by Syphonn(m): 7:22am On Sep 23, 2017 |
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