This is my other moniker on nairaland,

My mom died 12 years ago, she died after the birth of my junior sister, before she died,my family was living a normal life, my dad had a job in zenith bank, my brother and i attended good private schools, e.t.c.

Then she got pregnant, after giving birth to our junior sister (last born) she fell seriously ill, she died a few months later.

During the time of my moms illness, my dad kinda lost his job, not that he was sacked, he was retired involuntarily by the bank,

when my mom was battling with her illness, my grandmother (on the motherside) was the one taking care of my little sister. my dad spent all his gratiuty on trying to save my mothers life, she later gave up ghost, ..I was six years old when all this happened..

After mom died, my dad blamed her death on her mother (my grandma on the motherside) he said that she was a witch and that she killed my mom. Also, all my relatives on the mother side were not allowed to interact with my brother and i.

To say that he hated them is an understatement. Things went like this for about 11 years, being a young boy, i belived all my dads accusations against my motherside. But as i grew up ,i started asking questions, any time i asked my dad about it, his mood will change and he would get angry, very angry

Recently, i came in contact with my moms twin brother, he is in lagos while im in kwara state, he was so happy to hear my voice again after close to 10 years, he was crying on the phone while he was trying to explain all that happened,

he said that my grandma had nothing to do with my moms death, he said that she died naturally, he even backed up his claims with pictures, when i got the opportunity to ask my grandma about it, she said she was innocent, that she would never kill her own daughter, wheras, my dad said she was a witch and she ate my moms meat

My uncle (moms twin) has been really nice to me since we came into contact again, he sends me money , but my dad must not know, otherwise, he will murder both of us

Now, the problem is that my dad gets angry at any slight provocation and curses my siblings and i, he even sometimes call my younger sister badluck, that her birth brought death upon my mother,

The curses really disturb me, i fear they might have an imoact on our (my siblings) lives,

i need ur suggestions to go through this ,cos im very confused and sad,

cc lalasticala, pls move this to the right section


im still seeking for admission into a university

Your help is highly appreciated

Always respectfully reject the curses. PLEASE, Do NOT curse him back in retaliation. Bless him instead. However, take your Pastor to him.

Nothin much to do, jst keep praying, and talk to someone who is really close to ur dad, to speak to him on ur behalf.

Do not be afraid of his curses just keep on respecting him as your father, I don't have much to advice you but this :

Ephesians 6:1
Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
Ephesians 6:2
Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;
Ephesians 6:3
That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
Ephesians 6:4
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

.

He still miss his wife, don't stop praying for him perhaps he will change soonest.

@Even curse sabi body !!!!

He let the grief get to his head.

Gives you an idea what your precious mom suffered in her short years with him
A woman dies and a husband accuses her grieving mother ,alienates the children from their mom's relatives and now curses his own children blaming a child that didn't get the benefit of a mother's love for killing the mom.
He must be mentally disturbed
If your uncles can take care of you all,it will be better you moved away from that terrible environment

There's nothing much you can do but pray and hope things get better and try to counter every negative word your dad speaks to sister , Like if he says she's bad luck ,tell her she's the best thing that has happened to and the family , I've suffered from verbal abuse and I tell you its not funny at all especially from ones father . You are going to be like your sisters pillar, please encourage well and always praise so those words won't affect her self image .


Personally I think there's more to your moms death than what meets the eye.

Lacomus:
He still miss his wife, don't stop praying for him perhaps he will change soonest.

@Even curse sabi body !!!!

so he still misses my mom,? i dont get ur last sentence tho

cococandy:
He let the grief get to his head.

maybe, but this has gone too far nw

carlmerz:
Do not be afraid of his curses just keep on respecting him as your father, I don't have much to advice you but this :

Ephesians 6:1
Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
Ephesians 6:2
Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;
Ephesians 6:3
That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
Ephesians 6:4
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

ur words are so soothing

Klopp:


so he still misses my mom,? i dont get ur last sentence tho

his curse will do you no harm when you are innocent.

I'm sorry to hear your story. Your focus now is to seek and gain admission. Then work and become A MAN so as to take care of you and your siblings.

At the right time when you are strong and grounded every other issues can be straightened out including your dad and your mums family and anyone found guilty will face the consequences. This is called taking care of business- the part I love most. You can melt punishment to deserving ones coldly with on emotion or you can forgive.

There are some steps that when you elect to take them now or show signs of future visitation of acts vengeance and they get to know you will be checked and may not even find the admission you seek.

Bottle all the insults from dad and be strong for your siblings. Try to shield them and take the hits. You will get your chance someday and be strong enough that your dad will fear you and you get to ask questions. Don't disrespect your dad-his your biological father but he has forgone and bestowed the leadership upon your young shoulders.

You are been groomed to be an effective leader when you elect to start your own family. I've been there done that and I thank God everything happened for a reason. Men will fear and respect you if you handle this well. It won't be easy but the glory is worth all the stress.

Sorry, but I think your dad needs to remarry.. sounds like he's extremely lonely and bitter as a result of your mother's death and this is why he has turned against everyone around him.

Finding love in a new woman might just be the medicine to cure his venomous behaviour. Pray for him and keep a healthy distance so that his negativity wont affect you anymore..

I think he's frustrated. . Does he have financial problems?

MarvellousGod:
I think he's frustrated. . Does he have financial problems?

no, he has gotten anoda job since,

Klopp:


maybe, but this has gone too far nw

exactly

So sorry

Your dad is in a bad place
A friend was bereaved and one of the prayers her pastor prayed was that she would not greive to a point where it became a problem and she becomes mentally ill.

Unfortuantly your dads grief wasnt managed properly when your mum died and even now the pain may not be so raw for him, it was left to fester and the damage has now been done and relationships ruined.

Does your dad have family and friends he respects?
Please contact them and get them to to talk to your dad and counsel him and explain to him what the result of what he is doing will cause.
For him to be like he is, he is still very unhappy and there may also ego issues involved too which he needs to put to one side, especially for your sakes.

He needs to understand one way or the other that life moves on and what he is doing now will only make things worse.
His words will damage your siblings especially your sister who was born soon before your mum died and if he is not careful he will loose all round becasue he will not have any relationship with you his children and will end up a very lonely old man.

babyosisi:
Gives you an idea what your precious mom suffered in her short years with him

Haba....where has the OP stated his mum endured curses from his father? Why are you so quick to jump into conclusion and label men in a bad light?
Didnt you read where he typed that his father spent most of his gratuity battling to save his wife's life?
Have you stopped to think perhaps his father hasnt fully gotten over the loss of his wife?
Before you skydive again, i dont mean to insinuate i condone what the father has done after her death.

Exactly my thought . If your maternal grandma was a witch why didn't she kill her at child birth and transfer the witchcraft to your baby sister who stayed with her




My dear such curses have no effect because you didn't do anything to dishonour your father. He can curse you for all you care tell him to his face






Back to sender

babyosisi:
Gives you an idea what your precious mom suffered in her short years with him
A woman dies and a husband accuses her grieving mother ,alienates the children from their mom's relatives and now curses his own children blaming a child that didn't get the benefit of a mother's love for killing the mom.
He must be mentally disturbed
If your uncles can take care of you all,it will be better you moved away from that terrible environment

[quote author=tearoses post=33928561]So sorry

Your dad is in a bad place
A friend was bereaved and one of the prayers her pastor prayed was that she would not greive to a point where it became a problem and she becomes mentally ill.

Unfortuantly your dads grief wasnt managed properly when your mum died and even now the pain may not be so raw for him, it was left to fester and the damage has now been done and relationships ruined.

Does your dad have family and friends he respects?
Please contact them and get them to to talk to your dad and counsel him and explain to him what the result of what he is doing will cause.
For him to be like he is, he is still very unhappy and there may also ego issues involved too which he needs to put to one side, especially for your sakes.

He needs to understand one way or the other that life moves on and what he is doing now will only make things worse.
His words will damage your siblings especially your sister who was born soon before your mum died and if he is not careful he will loose all round becasue he will not have any rela

trur

blublahd:

Haba....where has the OP stated his mum endured curses from his father? Why are you so quick to jump into conclusion and label men in a bad light?
Didnt you read where he typed that his father spent most of his gratuity battling to save his wife's life?
Have you stopped to think perhaps his father hasnt fully gotten over the loss of his wife?
Before you skydive again, i dont mean to insinuate i condone what the father has done after her death.

A man that is nasty to a grieving MIL,nasty to his brothers in law and nasty to his own children,accusing one of killing her own mother and cursing them at every turn
Is it rocket science to deduce how nasty he was to the dead wife in her lifetime?
Nobody grieves a wife that way and nobody will grieve for a wife and curse the children including the one she suffered and died to bring to the world.
This is certainly not normal
Most normal people will actually have that last child as their favorite

Grief affects some pple in a negative way and I think ur Dad is one of them. Get someone or pple he respects to talk to him, he might not know his attitude is affecting u guys. Do everythn to protect ur siblings. Don't hate him pls no matter what. All the best.

Wendy80:
Grief affects some pple in a negative way and I think ur Dad is one of them. Get someone or pple he respects to talk to him, he might not know his attitude is affecting u guys. Do everythn to protect ur siblings. Don't hate him pls no matter what. All the best.

After 12 years?
I doubt if it's just grief


@ OP how many girlfriends or women friends have you seen your father go through
My hunch is that he can't keep down a girlfriend for any appreciable length of time.they all pick race after a short time