Parenting starts from birth.
I m not sure that you can suddenly start training a teenager. . . Isnt that a bit too late?

I have a teenager and there is nothing really that I want to say now that will change anything either way.
We advise him, show him love and teach by example. Kids watch and learn from their parents
We taught him respect, the value of hardwork and we listened to him. Sometines we even negotiate with him. " You can go to this concert, but you have to be back by a certain time"
When he did wrong we disciplined accordingly and sensibly and not over do it or loose the plot.
We do not use damaging words on him
We rooted him in Church and he is an active Church worker.
We give him responsibility and is very involved in matters that concern the home.
I also let him make some of his own mistakes. I can see one in the pipeline now, but I will let him learn from it, as long as its not going to damage or kill him

Mostly kids need love
growig up I never wanted to offend my dad becasue I would feel guilty that I did that to a man who showed me so much love
Funny enough he very rarely discsiplined us, but we always wanted to behave to make him happy.

When they're younger - teach them reason and logic.
When they're teens - reason with them.

tearoses:
Parenting starts from birth.
I m not sure that you can suddenly start training a teenager. . . Isnt that a bit too late?

I have a teenager and there is nothing really that I want to say now that will change anything either way.
We advise him, show him love and teach by example. Kids watch and learn from their parents
We taught him respect, the value of hardwork and we listened to him. Sometines we even negotiate with him. " You can go to this concert, but you have to be back by a certain time"
When he did wrong we disciplined accordingly and sensibly and not over do it or loose the plot.
We do not use damaging words on him
We rooted him in Church and he is an active Church worker.
We give him responsibility and is very involved in matters that concern the home.
I also let him make some of his own mistakes. I can see one in the pipeline now, but I will let him learn from it, as long as its not going to damage or kill him

Mostly kids need love
growig up I never wanted to offend my dad becasue I would feel guilty that I did that to a man who showed me so much love
Funny enough he very rarely discsiplined us, but we always wanted to behave to make him happy.

Spot on as always!!!

RoyalRoy:


Spot on as always!!!

Thank you
& thanks for freeing me too

We have such in my house,now a full drug addict. Please number of any good affordable psycia private home I am serious please call me up
09099615240- Akas

Atk01:
Send such teen to a military academy.

...abi nah to send am to South Africa.

[size=30pt]If he/she decides not to go to school again?[/size]w

Atk01:

I'm assuming they are teenagers, totally dependent on their parents. If you decide to change their schools, they really don't have a choice, do they?

xynerise:
Going through the developmental stages in life, some teens tend to take a wrong detour in life. Many teens are becoming rebellious to their parents and causing disunity in the family. Setting their own rules in the house and disrespecting anybody who tries to stop them from doing what they wish to do.

"Spare the rod and spoil the child". Does this also applies to teenagers? I guess not. What other psychological ways can we correct this rebellion?

If its a boy,rebelling is normal,and also with some girls with masculine essence.
But some guys learn from it fast,some learn later in life,while some live with it forever.....a guy that learns from it,afterwards sees life in a different light and these kindda people are the ones that later grow up to be accomplished, and they deepen their masculine essence,they get all the girls also... the ones that live with it forever become bitter people forever,and will always blame!e their parents for everything that happens to them.
There is a solution: (an expert in psychology taught me to do this,I am currently rebelling against my mom,I am 17)
1.Guys who rebel,and don't learn fast are the ones that lack deep masculine essence, their father is absent(my case also,since childhood) or they have a pussy as a father(man with a feminine essence).as my case,I was advised to get close to my father or a man with a strong masculine essence,that will embrace me as his own(I also noticed that my friend who was also rebelling before became extremely better in everything, ever since he bonded so close with his father,who was also away due to work,like mine),and those who have a father,and still rebel,that means his father has a feminine essence,so maybe his father is not a good Example enough,and maybe his mother is then the one with the masculine essence)... this case,he should bond with someone else with a masculine essence.The reason why guys rebel according to experts is to feel masculine enough,which is what their peers push them to do,another solution for a guy with this problem is to have a lot of guys who have masculine essence as friends(but this is not as effective as a father figure)
2.Girls who rebel,should do the exact opposite, they need to feel their deep feminine essence,and may need a mother figure or may not,at this stage those mother figures will teach them things the don't know,that they ought to know...the strange thing is that if a girl has a father with a strong masculine essence,and she is close to him,she will develop a stronger feminine essence.
(shikena).I hope this helped.

Reverse psychology is the best answer...

Teempakguy:
I hate rebellious teenagers. They regret it later in life. But still, they never admit that they are the ones behind their predicament. They still continue to blame everyone else.
They are often bitter and volatile.

Honestly, the best way is to start from when they are kids. Rebellious teenagers are impossible to control.

I disagree with you.....
Changing of location of any rebellious kid always help issue.
If you don't have the mind to chastise them, relocate the kid to any trusted and discipline family member. Let the kid know why you are doing so..
Change the school and make sure the kid is always indoor in the new home. I bet you the kid will be sober....
It worked on mmy kid brother.... If my kid brother can be sober and change for good, then I believe anyother can change for good....
Meanwhile, my kid broda has used to be badoo..... I mean Badoo.
Think of any Juvenile deliquency, he is badoo..
But I thank God for his Life today!!!

The problem is that most parents of today want to copy the Western way of raising a child not minding that their ways are heavily flawed, in the days of our parents they showed us love and whenever we went out of line they spanked us in love but sadly this days some parents see a child doing wrong they give the child a pat on the back and if anyone tries to scold the child they attack the person sadly when this child grows up it becomes a monster not only to the parent but to the whole society, spare the rod spoil the child as they say, in American today there are many cases of teens as young as 13 getting pregnant and this is as a result of failure of the parents to take charge while the child was younger, is that what we want for ourselves? Cos its certainly happening over there.

Klexy007:


I disagree with you.....
Changing of location of any rebellious kid always help issue.
If you don't have the mind to chastise them, relocate the kid to any trusted and discipline family member. Let the kid know why you are doing so..
Change the school and make sure the kid is always indoor in the new home. I bet you the kid will be sober....
It worked on mmy kid brother.... If my kid brother can be sober and change for good, then I believe anyother can change for good....
Meanwhile, my kid broda has used to be badoo..... I mean Badoo.
Think of any Juvenile deliquency, he is badoo..
But I thank God for his Life today!!!

Lolz . . . . your kid brother was just stubborn. Not rebellious.
My aunt was a rebellious kid. So she was transferred, as you said, to another family. She was just 14 or so at the time. Do you know what she did?

She saved up money and took transport from Lagos to Abeokuta. of course, she got lost, when she was found, she categorically told them that she would continue to run away and if they don't want her to get kidnapped and killed, they should just leave her at home.

And that's a girl o . . . and even 14. Imagine what a seventeen year old hefty bad guy can do.
Are you going to beat that one or what

You see, thats the problem people have with teens(how i hate that word)

Since i was 15, i hated being placed in teens class. Why? I feel marginalized. Imagine putting me with 13 year olds. How will that help me??

Now to the issue, teens are rebellious,no doubt. But that moment e'ry 20 upward looks down on them, thats where wahala comes. Imagine a 20 year old telling an 18 year old that : 'YOU ARE STILL A TEENAGER & YOU ARE FOOLISH'. Teens between 16 - 19(in my observation) should NOT be addressed like a kid or be treated as inferior. They are minors (16,17) right, but that moment you insult them, and they react y'all term it REBELLION.

Lets draw a distinct line between REBELLION & STUBBORNESS. When you rebel, you were oppressed. Anytime you react without oppression, you are stubborn.
You tell a 17year old : 'GO AND CARRY YOUR BOOK AND READ' ONTOP THAT YOU BANNED HIM/HER FROM TV or PC, when you yourself is just 21. That means you are not leaving him to make his choice. You can tell him : 'Guy(babe), its okay. . After 3hours, the TV/PC is yours' BELIEVE ME, IT WORKS. IN MY HOUSE,THATS HOW WE TREAT MY 13YEAR OLD SISTER. WE ALL JOKE AND LAUGH YET MAKE OUR POINT. I tell you, I CAN'T TELL MY SISTER TO READ AND SHE WILL REBEL. NEVER.

Again, you keep on oppressing him outside. E.g YOU WENT TO A PARTY & YOU NOW SAW HIM APPROACHING A BABE. INSTEAD OF YOU TO TELL HIM TO SIGNAL TO HIM OR JUST LAUGH AT THEM, BUT GIVE HIM THE : YOU ARE DEAD SIGN, YOU STARTED SHOUTING : YOU SEE YOUR LIFE. NA BABE YOU DEY CHASE. HAVE U WASHED THE CLOTH I TOLD YOU TO TELL ME, WNT HE FEEL OPPRESSED?

Again, think of this scenario : You go out & say : WE ARE GOING OUT. He said - Take me along, you say : ITS NOT MEANT FOR KIDS. Definately, that was an insult.

BASELINE -- CHECK YOURSELF, MAJORITY OF THE BLAME FALLS ON YOU.


Teempakguy, i sight u.

BTW, am a super teen myself. I will soon become a full adult sha.

hvq229:


Her mother has been trying to teach her those things talking to her about the immorality of premarital sex and the practical risks of it- the disease the unwanted pregnancies-- trouble is the child doesn't think any of that is going to affect her. Further we don't trust this boy. He is from what I've been told irresponsible and the minute he gets her pregnant as he's done other girls I'm told abandon her

Her mother wants me to flog her. I may do it tomorrow. Her aunt will be over and she can help get the child ready without having to involve her mother- I like for her mother to talk with her afterwards. We're responsible for her safety, moral upbringing, and welfare. Maybe the caning won't work but I think we may have to try

Change her environment, let her go and leave with any relative or go to a boarding school by do doing, she won't be with the boy again.

I dont mind parents who discipline their kids but what i hate is when you are clearly an adult and your parents are still treating you like a child.

Like me for example am freaking 20+ and i cant talk to no guys especially or even talk to any one especially Nigerians/Jamaicans coz they are wild people said my dad.

I serioulsy think some parents are bloody over protective from the day i was born i cant make no fucking decisions for myself without getting my parents involve even now that am going to uni i try not to let them know what am doing coz they r so controlling.

I love my parents sha but its too much i cant breathe when am around them even to have a normal cconversation i dnt want.

Me when i have my own kids i wont make them be afraid of me like i am to my parents.

The worst thing is I am more afraid of my parents than God. Which in itself is scary to say out loud.

Nigerian parents need to cool down on the overprotectiveness especially to their daughters coz they r just driving their kids to rebel. They dont give us no privacy what so ever. I dont even want to talk to my parents one bit coz it just leads to arguement.

I have never reblled in my life but yet my parents think i have. They think once am out of the house am a differnt person when thats not true. For so many years have been trying to show them that thats not true but am just wasting my time.



Seriously cant wait till when i finsih uni then i am moving out kiakia so sick and tired of them already.

Filashade:
I dont mind parents who discipline their kids but what i hate is when you are clearly an adult and your parents are still treating you like a child.

Like me for example am freaking 20+ and i cant talk to no guys especially or even talk to any one especially Nigerians/Jamaicans coz they are wild people said my dad.

I serioulsy think some parents are bloody over protective from the day i was born i cant make no fucking decisions for myself without getting my parents involve even now that am going to uni i try not to let them know what am doing coz they r so controlling.

I love my parents sha but its too much i cant breathe when am around them even to have a normal cconversation i dnt want.

Me when i have my own kids i wont make them be afraid of me like i am to my parents.

The worst thing is I am more afraid of my parents than God. Which in itself is scary to say out loud.

Nigerian parents need to cool down on the overprotectiveness especially to their daughters coz they r just driving their kids to rebel. They dont give us no privacy what so ever. I dont even want to talk to my parents one bit coz it just leads to arguement.

I have never reblled in my life but yet my parents think i have. They think once am out of the house am a differnt person when thats not true. For so many years have been trying to show them that thats not true but am just wasting my time.



Seriously cant wait till when i finsih uni then i am moving out kiakia so sick and tired of them already.

You have set a goal for yourself. Complete your university training, and then to establish your own living situation away from your parents. that should be your parents goal for you as well and they're trying to help you get there. You should know what you need to do to achieve your goals as an adult. A child will want to move away from her parents just to get away from the parents and because she thinks she should be able to open her legs for any man she wants to. An adult will want to move out (from her parents house) because she is genuinely ready to.

It sounds to me as if you are not quite grown up-nothing wrong with it. Most university students are still children and should be considered as such--even though they're labelled as adults they're not.

themanderon:
The problem is that most parents of today want to copy the Western way of raising a child not minding that their ways are heavily flawed, in the days of our parents they showed us love and whenever we went out of line they spanked us in love but sadly this days some parents see a child doing wrong they give the child a pat on the back and if anyone tries to scold the child they attack the person sadly when this child grows up it becomes a monster not only to the parent but to the whole society, spare the rod spoil the child as they say, in American today there are many cases of teens as young as 13 getting pregnant and this is as a result of failure of the parents to take charge while the child was younger, is that what we want for ourselves? Cos its certainly happening over there.

if the 13 year old girl knew she would be soundly flogged if she let a boy/man abuse her vagina she'll think a little harder before she opens her legs

hvq229:


You have set a goal for yourself. Complete your university training, and then to establish your own living situation away from your parents. that should be your parents goal for you as well and they're trying to help you get there. You should know what you need to do to achieve your goals as an adult. A child will want to move away from her parents just to get away from the parents and because she thinks she should be able to open her legs for any man she wants to. An adult will want to move out (from her parents house) because she is genuinely ready to.

It sounds to me as if you are not quite grown up-nothing wrong with it. Most university students are still children and should be considered as such--even though they're labelled as adults they're not.

Ok....

Firstly, I am not that stupid or naive to open my legs for anybody as if am dumb or something. Hell nooo.

Just because someone wants to move out of their parents house dnt mean they want to do stuff that will get them in trouble. I just want to move out so I can stop hearing all the noise and shouting in my house every God damn second even if me and brothers didn't do it we still have to pay for the consequences.

I think if u met me personally u will know am not the sort of person to do such especially rebel against my parents.

Just because am still going to uni dnt mean am still a kid lool. I dnt know y people label 20 year olds as kids still but we r meant to go and find work abi? Lool

Thanks for the advice though.

cecegorz:

No boyfriend throughout University? Adonbilivit! Were you a fellowship Pastor?

Filashade:
I dont mind parents who discipline their kids but what i hate is when you are clearly an adult and your parents are still treating you like a child.

Like me for example am freaking 20+ and i cant talk to no guys especially or even talk to any one especially Nigerians/Jamaicans coz they are wild people said my dad.

I serioulsy think some parents are bloody over protective from the day i was born i cant make no fucking decisions for myself without getting my parents involve even now that am going to uni i try not to let them know what am doing coz they r so controlling.

I love my parents sha but its too much i cant breathe when am around them even to have a normal cconversation i dnt want.

Me when i have my own kids i wont make them be afraid of me like i am to my parents.

The worst thing is I am more afraid of my parents than God. Which in itself is scary to say out loud.

Nigerian parents need to cool down on the overprotectiveness especially to their daughters coz they r just driving their kids to rebel. They dont give us no privacy what so ever. I dont even want to talk to my parents one bit coz it just leads to arguement.

I have never reblled in my life but yet my parents think i have. They think once am out of the house am a differnt person when thats not true. For so many years have been trying to show them that thats not true but am just wasting my time.



Seriously cant wait till when i finsih uni then i am moving out kiakia so sick and tired of them already.

Are you in Nigeria or abroad?

LOL, I just read all ur comments and i can't help but laugh..am a rebellious and nobody can do anytin to control me, TRY and DIE

thorpido:
Are you in Nigeria or abroad?

Abroad

Y?

With TEENAGERS, you talk less AND DO MORE!!!!!
You pretend to ignore them while keeping them close to you at all times.
Always make them feel THEY ARE WINNING.
Avoid confrontation ALWAYS.

Filashade:


Abroad

Y?

I guessed you were abroad.I don't blame your parents.They have every reason to think you might lose it if they don't try to keep you in check even though they are doing it the wrong way.You also on your part may have given them a wrong impression even innocently.
What you should do is focus on your education.If you can stay on campus while in school,it gives you more freedom.You won't be with your parents forever so don't rebel.
Once you are through with your education,you can make your own decisions.

Teempakguy:
Lolz . . . . your kid brother was just stubborn. Not rebellious.
My aunt was a rebellious kid. So she was transferred, as you said, to another family. She was just 14 or so at the time. Do you know what she did?

She saved up money and took transport from Lagos to Abeokuta. of course, she got lost, when she was found, she categorically told them that she would continue to run away and if they don't want her to get kidnapped and killed, they should just leave her at home.

And that's a girl o . . . and even 14. Imagine what a seventeen year old hefty bad guy can do.
Are you going to beat that one or what

Dis one na real wah oooooo
It happens though, my elder cousin did dat @ tender age and remain rebellious till his late 30s before he got change from a girl which he later marry last year.
Maybe a kid's favrite could be used then.