Your words have immense power.

Your words, and more importantly the body language
and tone of voice that accompanies them, can
completely destroy your marriage. Or you can use the
power of your words to breathe new life into you
relationship.

Here are some of the most powerful words you can use
in your marriage today:

Positive Words

“I love you.” Simple, but powerful, and it needs to
be said daily.
“I’m sorry.” Don’t be afraid to own up to your
mistakes, and don’t refuse to say these words just
because you think you’re right and your spouse is
wrong.
“I really appreciate…” Gratitude does a lot to put
both you and yourself in a great mood. And ladies,
it’s does a much better job of motivating your
husband than nagging.
“Thank you.” Almost as good as the previous one.
“What can I do to help you?” Building a successful
marriage is about serving your partner. What better
way to do that than find out exactly what s/he need
right now?
“How are we?” Use these words to do a quick
marriage check up. Or maybe not so quick if your
spouse feels like venting.
“Let’s pray [about that].” You know the saying:
Couples that pray together stay together. (Note
from Peacefulwife – if your husband is far from
God, it may be wise to follow I Peter 3:1-6 and not
mention spiritual things to him, but definitely pray
humbly for him on your own!)
“Do you want a back rub/foot massage/etc.?”
Men, pay attention. I almost believe this last one is
more powerful than all the others put together….
These words can can work wonders for even the most
strained marriage. Encouraging, love filled words
offered genuinely build your spouse up and build trust,
love and respect in your relationship.

But as powerful as these words are for building your
marriage, you can really wreak some havoc if you are
not careful. In fact, harmful words have much greater
impact than positive words.

According to studies, it takes at least two positive
statements to offset one negative one. John Gottman of
the University of Washington goes even further to
suggest 5 positive things for every negative for married
couples.

Here some are some of the most powerful negative
words you should avoid like the plague:

Negative Words

“You always…” or “you never…” These absolutes
are rarely accurate and can put your spouse’s
defenses up.
“ Why did you do that?!” The tone of voice is
important here. It can quickly turn from a simple
question to an accusation of gross stupidity with the
wrong tone.
Sarcasm. (the cutting/insulting kind) You might
think it’s all fun and games but your spouse might
have a very different opinion about that.
Patronization. You know, those words that by
themselves are positive but spoken with a certain
tone make it into an insult. “Wow. You took out the
trash. I’m so proud of you.” It’s hard to get this
across in writing. Something you would say to your
kids when they accomplish something simple for the
first time.
Insults. There are more of them than I care to
name. They can really demoralize your spouse and
destroy trust in your relationship faster than a stick
of dynamite.
Nagging . This is something you really need to
work on if you want a healthy marriage. See my
note above about how gratitude is a much better
motivator.

As you can see, I didn’t give too many specific examples
because almost anything can become negative given the
wrong tone of voice.
What words have you found to be powerful in your
marriage?

True talk

samblessed:

“How are we?” Use these words to do a quick
marriage check up. Or maybe not so quick if your
spouse feels like venting.

Hmmm.. as simple as this is, I've never taught of asking this question regularly..

Learnt something new today.. nice one!

Nice one

The periodical review is also very important

Nice topic.