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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids (3271 Views)
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Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by GeneralShepherd(m): 3:57pm On Jul 18, 2015 |
Yesterday, I had a conversation with my friends about using physical force to correct kids. I was not really surprise that many of my friends were corrected with physical force when they were younger. However, I was shocked that many said they will use physical force (gentle spanking) to correct their kids. This is very troublesome because we have tried physical force and quite frankly it doesn't work. The level of crime and social injustice in Nigeria suggests that corporal punishment is ineffective. Yes you get immediate results as a parent,however you are teaching your child that it is okay to express their displeasure and frustrations with physical force. It has been proven by the research that it unbalances the child's emotions. This makes the child fear higher powers and have total disregard for those under him or her. This clearly shows itself in the way Nigerians relate with their superiors and subordinates at work. I personally have never hit my dogs and I have three. Why I should then hit my kid? Madness is doing the same thing and expecting different results. Let's stop correcting Nigerian children with physical force. Cc Lalastica Ishilove 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by fathomberry: 4:00pm On Jul 18, 2015 |
In other words, spare the child and spoil the rod 2 Likes |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by chudidonas(m): 4:13pm On Jul 18, 2015 |
Utter Rubbish 1 Like |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by Pineapp: 4:17pm On Jul 18, 2015 |
Discipline with the left hand,draw closer with the right hand. 8 Likes |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by BundlesOfJoy: 4:21pm On Jul 18, 2015 |
Having seen the way British kids are brought up, where there is no beating or even any form of discipline...I'd rather the Nigerian way any day. 10 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by Nobody: 4:26pm On Jul 18, 2015 |
Exactly my thoughts. You are so on point Op... If serious spanking couldn't stop 90% of adult now from crazy lifestyle when they were kids, i wonder what it will do now........ Not that punishment would stop in totality, as kids they need some little spank, here and there, but all those crazy slaps and kicks won't help matters. A good exercise la punishment will suffice! 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by cococandy(f): 4:30pm On Jul 18, 2015 |
100 GeneralShepherd: |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by GeneralShepherd(m): 4:37pm On Jul 18, 2015 |
BundlesOfJoy: How are Nigerian kids better behaved than British kids? 5 Likes |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by GeneralShepherd(m): 4:38pm On Jul 18, 2015 |
modelmike7: How about rewarding them when they act right and withdrawing some of their privileges when they err? |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by GeneralShepherd(m): 4:39pm On Jul 18, 2015 |
fathomberry: The same Bible condemns wearing clothing of different materials. Are all your shirts 100% pure cotton? Mind you I never said do not discipline your kids, i said do not.scream at.them or use physical force. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by Nobody: 4:53pm On Jul 18, 2015 |
GeneralShepherd:.............. That is a very very good way to go also! 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by Yustash001(m): 4:55pm On Jul 18, 2015 |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by Yustash001(m): 4:56pm On Jul 18, 2015 |
I'll bring up my child the way I was brought up..... |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by fathomberry: 5:28pm On Jul 18, 2015 |
GeneralShepherd: I'm not against you dear sir, neither am I for you!! I'd treat my kids in the ways I deem fit and right. I don't think anybody will come tell me how to treat 'MY' kids. 2 Likes |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by Jamean(f): 5:40pm On Jul 18, 2015 |
Hmmm. The children of these days are... |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by GeneralShepherd(m): 5:42pm On Jul 18, 2015 |
Jamean: Kids will always be kids. Patience and firm discipline is what is needed 1 Like |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by Onegai(f): 6:02pm On Jul 18, 2015 |
I kinda see the OP's point. All your so-called Nigerian values and physical beating and emotional abuse has NOT led to a better society. It had made people fear their superiors and be evil to others below them and we certainly lack empathy and patience. Perhaps it's time to try another method. Some of the best behaved people I've met didn't get beaten a lot or insulted for every mistake as a child. I got insulted a lot and it only made me never listen to anyone as an adult once they attempted to speak harshly to me (even if it was in my best interest). One of my brothers just pointed to my LO and said "there will never be a good reason to insult her, no matter what she does. " So I wrote it down and the date, I swear it to her now that her mistakes will always be just that, mistakes and not a judgement on the rest of her life and character. "You're useless" will NEVER be the right answer to your child accidentally bringing you the wrong item from your room or burning soup or breaking something. 8 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by Nobody: 6:33pm On Jul 18, 2015 |
Dont know about you, but I will spank my kids as occassion would demand. I already know I am going to be the 'Yes baby' kind of mum; same way I already know I'm going to be the 'Get me my cane' kind too. I will not spare the rod. Sue me for typing this, or forever hold your peace. Thank you. 12 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by jnrbayano(m): 6:46pm On Jul 18, 2015 |
I will train my kids with the combination of prayers, and the mixture of physical and psychological punishment. 2 Likes |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by Iaz93: 7:01pm On Jul 18, 2015 |
Some Nigerian parents brutal oo... Some unmarried ones are already planning on how they'll use rods on their kids. If the child God has kept for you reads your post, the pikin no go greeee come ooh 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by Iaz93: 7:03pm On Jul 18, 2015 |
jnrbayano:LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by JoeCutie(m): 7:17pm On Jul 18, 2015 |
Pineapp:Ignoring my mentions now? Perfect! |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by Pineapp: 7:20pm On Jul 18, 2015 |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by JoeCutie(m): 7:24pm On Jul 18, 2015 |
Just try and make your kids your friends, and get them to like and trust you. I bet you, you won't be needing force to correct them. They'll listen to you. The worst thing that can happen to you as a parent is when your kids fear you. They'd do the things you ask, not because they want to, but because they fear you. Be friends with your wife/husband and kids, and "happily ever after" awaits you. 13 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by JoeCutie(m): 7:27pm On Jul 18, 2015 |
Pineapp:No, you didn't! But it's okay. Hope you're good? |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by Nobody: 7:40pm On Jul 18, 2015 |
Iaz93: I know this is directed at me. Trust me I know my self so well, so I can already tell. lol. I also know that when children don't hear words, they hear action...that is where the rod comes in. #which child will say no to the as yet to be world's best mom by the way? |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by Nobody: 7:54pm On Jul 18, 2015 |
Gaborone:Just like me! 2 Likes |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by Nobody: 8:19pm On Jul 18, 2015 |
Adufetohposh:Way to go, sis. 1 Like |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by pacino26(m): 12:41am On Jul 19, 2015 |
JoeCutie: Just spoke my mind. True I was raised in the full wrath of the cane and other harsh words but it poised me to be better today. Am not against the use of subtle means to instruct or correct a child but a kid will always be a kid in certain areas. Like a clean slate certain codes needs to be imprinted the hard way. The candy mom and dad thing don't usually work, mind you this is Africa and Nigeria. Discipline is never imbibed in the kindness of hearts, it's borne out of love but portrayed in bitterness. My boy will always ask if I want him to cry and I'll ask him same question too, so in other words we just desist from making eachother cry. @Op pls leave the WEST, we're the last frontier of morals and discipline. The only place you can find that in the West is in the military and its not done with candy bars. Correct a child when and where necessary and cuddle him/her after that. True we have a loose society, apparently cuz the young people of today have abused the responsibility of taking care of themselves when granted the freedom to do so. I know how many youths that wished they were corrected while growing up or that they were made to follow some strict rules. As people age, they obey such rules out of love and the positive impacts of such in their lives. Next thing will be a campaign against use of cane in homes. I ordered my son's teacher to be the first corrective agent in my child's life upon any misbehaviour. Don't tell me you're among the ones that get teachers sacked for scolding your child, you won't find it funny. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by BundlesOfJoy: 2:16am On Jul 19, 2015 |
GeneralShepherd: Not what I mean as such. I am simply commenting on what I have seen countless times growing up. What I see is 8 year old shouting 'I hate you' when reprimanded and the parents saying it's ok because the child is learning to express herself. Or better still, another one replying 'well why did u have children if you don't know how to handle me?!' I see teenage kids beating an elderly man senseless for no other reason than it is something fun to do, pregnant teachers being physically attacked by students simply for asking them to behave,and then getting suspended because you are not supposed to raise your hand to students despite it being self defence. Or parents being such 'friends' to their children to the extent that they vacate their own home so that their teenage son/daughter can have uninterrupted sex with their gf/bf... and the list goes on. All I'm saying is this - I also don't agree with beating a child senseless to the point of abuse, but growing up without any form of discipline or at the very least, respect for even your parents, isn't much better either. 7 Likes |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by GeneralShepherd(m): 9:08am On Jul 19, 2015 |
Gaborone: It is your opinion why should I Sue you? I just ask you take a look at available evidence 1 Like |
Re: Opinion: Stop Using Physical Force On Nigerian Kids by GeneralShepherd(m): 9:12am On Jul 19, 2015 |
BundlesOfJoy: A child once beheaded a teacher in Enugu. A child telling the parent, I hate you is a child being a child. Nigerian kids still wanna scream I hate you but can't because of fear. Does it mean they didn't feel hatred for their parents? Verbal expression makes kids less aggressive 1 Like 1 Share |
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