LIFE AT THE GEORGE’S

PROLOGUE

The George’s are like any other typical Nigerian family, though with little ups and downs, drama that will make your ribs crack and a strong family love that supersedes all sort of external aggression. Well, it’s always sensible to introduce from the top but since this isn’t your everyday family, we would do it vice versa.

The last born is ADEJOKE ADRIANNA GEORGE, baby of the house, fairest of them all and very smart for her age. She’s frequently called “joke”as in what you say that makes people laugh. Generally, her jokes are dry but if u don’t laugh, you will receive hell from her. Well, apart from her evidently dry jokes she’s a whole lot fun to be with

Above her is the second born, ADEREMI ISABELLA GEORGE, the “Margaret Thatcher” of the house. She is such a disciplinarian and can be a hard-ass at times. An introvert of the highest order. Well, despite her “wickedness”she still has her moments of unlimited fun. 16 years of age and a 100 level student of accounting in Lagos State University. Thank God for not making her the first born or Adedapo will be receiving assorted slaps everydaye.g igbati, iforun, back-hand, abara e.t.c

This brings me to the first born, ADEDAPO JORGE GEORGE who according to Aderemi is her annoying music-loving, law arguing, fun-loving brother who gets on her last nerve at the slightest chance he gets. But I’m sure you will think differently when you read about him. Well, 20 years of age, 400 level student of law in university of Benin,which off the record the parents do not support till date. They say his vocabulary will be pidginzed and he will eat too much akpu which will take the place of book in his brain.Lead guitarist in a band and very handsome. Gives him problems with the ladies. very funny, I must add. Comedian of the family. P.S,Jorgeis pronounced (or: eh)
Well, that’s that about the children but before I go on, you must be wondering who is talking. It is I Adedapo. Writing is my hobby also. But my mum mustn’t see that i am opening all ouryanshoutside or else…… I will tell you the punishment for the gravity of this offence later. Also, I know u must be wondering why we all have latino middle names. It all boils down to my mum. She is part Nigerian, part Puerto-Rican. Her dad is a Nigerian and her mother is Puerto-Rican. When we were given birth to, our grandmother made sure we all had Puerto-Rican names so we won’t lose touch with our latino origin. So, yes, I have latino blood in me though my Nigerian English and Yoruba iskonck.

Moving on, my mum, MRS PENELOPE ROSALITA GEORGE, NEE AYOTUNDE, referred to as PENNY by her husband, my dad. she’s in her late 40’s and she’s a senior researcher at the FEDERAL INSTITUTE OF RESEARCH, AGEGE(FIRA).Walahi, that agege just spoilt the whole swags of the name. Abeg, they should change that “A” to agency make hin fine small jare. Its lack of vision that will make you write oshodi. It means there is no plan to go international. Well, not to digress from what I was saying, she is very beautiful, like a mixture of Jackie Appiah and Salma Hayek. She has this beautiful long hair which my sisters got from her. She also has this killer latino accent where she rolls her “R”, like them salsa-dancing folks. Very jovial but constantly riding us about our grades because of the first class she graduated with in Bio-Chemistry from University of Lagos. Beauty and brains, hmmm.. the whole package.
The grande-finale like they say in those reality programmes/talent shows, I give you theolorioko, olori ebi, DR. OLUMIDE OYEDEJI GEORGE. The DR. stands for medical doctor and not PhD holder, that’s if u were wondering sha. We just celebrated his 50thbirthday early this year. Brilliant man, very jovial, good looks for his age but not someone salma hayek or nadia buari will ordinary fall for which always bring me to this question, ”How did he toast my mother?”and the only answer I come up with is that he saw her, spoke geek and swept her off her feet with his medical terminologies. Things like cyanocobalamin, methatene.. only God knows what they mean but well, im not surprised, if iyanaya can make money just by pulling of his shirt and saying “my waist… my waist”, anything can happen.
Thank you all for taking time to meet my wonderful family. I just need you to sit back and relax as I give you a sneak peek into the LIFE OF THE GEORGE’S.

Sorry before person thing become another person own, this is not my story, but enjoyed the story so i decided to drop it here on Nairaland! Enjoy!

CHAPTER ONE

It was a sunny day in lekki peninsular and everybody went about their businesses, so did George’s the also. ‘ Amigo, get your scrawny ass over here, remember we have to get to the airport early’,my mum shouted at Aderemi as she was rushing to her car limping on one leg and forcing her stilettos into the other leg.’Mama I’m on my way just tell Dapo to wait for me oh because anytime you give him the chance to drive, we won’t hear word in the houseagain’, Aderemi replied while finalising her makeup. Dunno if she has plans for any custom officer cos eleyi poju .
Anyways, ive been ready an hour ago because my mum finally let me drive the Toyota sequia. After I bashed the Honda while reversing three years ago, I was relegated to driving thekabukabuof the house which was the Toyota corolla 1990 model that my dad bought with his first salary(God knows why he kept it sef, well, there’s a thing about your first, if you know what I mean. Winks*). Okay, I want you to judge. The car doesn’t have a horn, trafficator, head lamp so I can’t drive in the night, leaking radiator which makes me park every ten minutes to refill the water to prevent over-heating, and a car sound that sounds like an elephant’s fart. If V.I.O catch meperen,na die oh. I mean, If the car was meant to be a punishment, I consider my lesson learnt. So, u see why I was ready an hour before take-off time. The adrenaline of driving a road worthy car was coursing through every vein in my body.
Honk! Honk! Honk!I blasted the horn to hurry them up. ‘ ehhh.. I go leave una oh’ I shouted because they were delaying my chances of cruising the car. ‘oga wait jare, abi because you are driving us now we should fry paw paw’ remi replied the only way she knows how to.

Finally we were on the road and I was feeling fly, driving with one hand on the steering wheel and the other on d frame of my door, enjoying the feeling of cruising atear-rubber ride. Driving on a 100 with the breeze slapping my left cheek…oh it was like heaven and I was enjoying it until it was interrupted by remi.
‘guy reduce your speed oh,im still in 100 level. I’m too young and pretty to die’ remi said while tapping continously on my shoulder. ‘isabella, stop giving your brother a hard time and let him concentrate on the road’ mum replied with that her sweet latino accent. ‘yes oh, tell her mumsy, I dunno wats your own with me remi’ I also said halfly smiling cos Im used to herwahala. ‘ehn ehn, this is not fast five oh or don’t think you are that transporter guy. Na film trick all those ones dey do oh. Theres no film trick in real life. If you want to die, no carry me go. Infact, mama, why didn’t dad carry us’ remi said with the volume of her voice slightly increased. ‘he has a surgery to perform today. A spinal cord thingy and those things take a lot of time so, thus your brother driving’ mum replied.

The rest of the journey went quietly till we arrived at Murtala Mohammed International Airport, Ikeja. Okay guys, let me put you out of the dark. I know you are wondering why we are at the airport. Well, we aren’t travelling anywhere, we just came to pick our cousin, Micheal. He is the son of my mum’s elder sister and he is based in the united states. Just want to stay a couple of days with us before leaving.

‘yo hommies nd honnies, its your boy mike’ he shouted from afar and remi ran over to hug him. Mum was smiling, I was smiling until he came to spoil the smile fest. ‘wadup penny and oh..if it aint my lil bro.. gimee a hug dude’ he said while putting his arms around me. I know from this statement you know why my mum and I quenched our smile fest. He called my mum by her name and he called me lil bro. I mean he’s just a year older than me oh. Foolish boy, adiye funfun ko mora eh lagbai thought to myself while hugging him

To add insult to the injury, as we were about going he said ‘ya’ll shouldn’t tell me im going in this box’(dats our car oh.. car that is shacking me)’ I was expecting a limo mehn and not a raggedy ass SUV’
Mum and I looked at each other…….. and three options were going through my mind

1. Leave him there at the airport and make him find his way home

2. Drive him to one bush path along mowe –ibafo road and dump him there

3.Organise boys to treat his Bleep up right there.

guy y u stop d story na abeg come update o

just leave him at the airport and come and give us update