It's simple. Sometimes your partner gives you an insight into what she really feels about you or your finances. She tells you how you have not done enough for her despite the fact that you slave to ensure she gets the best or at least as good as her friends (who she is always comparing herself with consciously or unconsciously with... Women do this a lot whether they want to admit it or not) do. Sometimes you see her being selfish with her finances, buying things with your money and surreptitiously making others feel she was the one that bought them, giving her relatives transport fare when they are leaving and not telling them it was you who gave her the t. Fare to give them. All in a bid to let them feel she is independent of you. She tells you to give her n50,000 to go to market to buy foodstuff, even shows you a list, meanwhile you know for sure that meat doesn't cost that amount per kilo, you know cos you priced it the other day at Shoprite out of curiosity. You know that list wint cost more than n30k but you keep quiet anyway.

You watch as she proudly displays her culinary skills in front of her friends,telling them how she saved you from hunger and starvation in your bachelor days, they grin and shake thier heads at you and you smile helplessly to their pleasure, using eye contact to keep the secret that it was you who taught her to cook like this during your nysc together.

She keeps 'borrowing' money from you, money you know she's never going to pay back but she insists that she will 'one day' and then when you borrow a little from her in your time of need she haggle and frowns her pretty face until you give it back to her.
The list goes on and on.

But you know she's playing at being blind too so you don't grumble so much. You know she has caught you on more than one occasion staring at her best friend's oversized melons with secret hunger. Watched you devour thier massive behinds with lustful eyes that portray forbidden passion. She smells the breath of alcohol on your lips as you kiss her good evening, knowing you are trying hard to pretend as if you just came from work and not from Giddy's Bar where you had a drink with the boys every Friday night where they show live mapouka dance entertainment ;guys N1500, ladies free. She doesn't utter a word in protest but kisses you back with a smile and a hug and the promising smell of dinner cooking in the kitchen. She pretends not to hear the numerous single girls that start a phone conversation or text with you with the greeting "hello honey" and pretends not to notice when you suddenly have the urge to answer your phone call in the corridor or toilet away from her audio prowess. As long as you don't come home late and you are not having an affair she pretends to be blind and deaf.

You ignore her excesses because you love her. She ignores your furtive glances because she loves you.
And in those rare instances where you both are screaming at each other and letting your feelings and hurt out as ALL couples eventually do, those instances when you let each other know you know what they thought you didn't know even though you knew deep down that they did... In those instances you are quick to forgive each other because you both appreciate the other being blind and deaf.

In marriage being in love is all about being a mumu.

-5minsmadness

Naah... I guess its all abt team work.. U dnt hav to be blind.

Cutehector:
Naah... I guess its all abt team work.. U dnt hav to be blind.

"Its all about teamwork" is a stereotype response. Its like saying all couples that get married lived happilyever after. a lot of couples live ever after but not 'happily'...many couples simply live 'contentedly' ever after or 'manageably' ever after.

Even in those couples that preach teamwork there is some level of blindness and mumuism.

Sorry, I can't turn a blind eye to stuffs you mentioned on your fourth paragraph because they're serious issues to me..

I also know my husband won't be mute knowing I intentionally dupe him (he may let you keep the money but he must tell you), keeping change from purchases is different from this.. Also my husband can't keep quiet after you mock him infront of my/his friends(who even mocks her spouse in public? )

There are things I turn blind eyes to but none is part of your list, all these you mentioned are big deals biko except when they've become continuous occurrence, then one can ignore....

MarvellousGod:
Sorry, I can't turn a blind eye to stuffs you mentioned on your fourth paragraph because they're serious issues to me..

I also know my husband won't be mute knowing I intentionally dupe him (he may let you keep the money but he must tell you), keeping change from purchases is different from this.. Also my husband can't keep quiet after you mock him infront of my/his friends(who even mocks her spouse in public? )

There are things I turn blind eyes to but none is part of your list, all these you mentioned are big deals biko except when they've become continuous occurrence, then one can ignore....

So what are the things you turn a blind eye to?

chop knuckle

really
thats the best way to live happily
but not every woman can do that
not even 10%

i still remain his best partner ever
you cant get a woman to overlook all your shortcomings and still accept you with no faults

kudos to the STRONG women out there
not easy
i know
cos i was once there
and def i am gonna do same over and over

5minsmadness:


So what are the things you turn a blind eye to?

I knew you were going to ask

These are the things I can turn a blind eye to, I will provide just three Egs:

-Not washing foam off the bathroom walls after bath.
-Leaving the kitchen untidy whenever he uses it.
-Leaving his clothes scattered in the wardrobe etttttccc...


I can never be mute if my husband has romantic chats with girls or goes about staring at my friends boobs or behind, it's disgraceful. . I will only keep quiet if my love for him is dead or so tired of his disgraceful acts.. or maybe I gat my own 'parol' too....

Even the three Egs I gave above, before I become quite about them I must shown my displeasure at one or the other.. If my complaints ain't yielding anything, then I ignore. . I can't be completely quite when my partner does things I don't like, what's the essence of communication? You have to express your dissatisfaction cos he may be ignorant of what he's causing you ...it's totally different from nagging. .. I expect my partner to do same to me. My happiness is his happiness and vice versa. ...

5minsmadness:
It's simple. Sometimes your partner gives you an insight into what she really feels about you or your finances. She tells you how you have not done enough for her despite the fact that you slave to ensure she gets the best or at least as good as her friends (who she is always comparing herself with consciously or unconsciously with... Women do this a lot whether they want to admit it or not) do. Sometimes you see her being selfish with her finances, buying things with your money and surreptitiously making others feel she was the one that bought them, giving her relatives transport fare when they are leaving and not telling them it was you who gave her the t. Fare to give them. All in a bid to let them feel she is independent of you. She tells you to give her n50,000 to go to market to buy foodstuff, even shows you a list, meanwhile you know for sure that meat doesn't cost that amount per kilo, you know cos you priced it the other day at Shoprite out of curiosity. You know that list wint cost more than n30k but you keep quiet anyway.

You watch as she proudly displays her culinary skills in front of her friends,telling them how she saved you from hunger and starvation in your bachelor days, they grin and shake thier heads at you and you smile helplessly to their pleasure, using eye contact to keep the secret that it was you who taught her to cook like this during your nysc together.

She keeps 'borrowing' money from you, money you know she's never going to pay back but she insists that she will 'one day' and then when you borrow a little from her in your time of need she haggle and frowns her pretty face until you give it back to her.
The list goes on and on.

But you know she's playing at being blind too so you don't grumble so much. You know she has caught you on more than one occasion staring at her best friend's oversized melons with secret hunger. Watched you devour thier massive behinds with lustful eyes that portray forbidden passion. She smells the breath of alcohol on your lips as you kiss her good evening, knowing you are trying hard to pretend as if you just came from work and not from Giddy's Bar where you had a drink with the boys every Friday night where they show live mapouka dance entertainment ;guys N1500, ladies free. She doesn't utter a word in protest but kisses you back with a smile and a hug and the promising smell of dinner cooking in the kitchen. She pretends not to hear the numerous single girls that start a phone conversation or text with you with the greeting "hello honey" and pretends not to notice when you suddenly have the urge to answer your phone call in the corridor or toilet away from her audio prowess. As long as you don't come home late and you are not having an affair she pretends to be blind and deaf.

You ignore her excesses because you love her. She ignores your furtive glances because she loves you.
And in those rare instances where you both are screaming at each other and letting your feelings and hurt out as ALL couples eventually do, those instances when you let each other know you know what they thought you didn't know even though you knew deep down that they did... In those instances you are quick to forgive each other because you both appreciate the other being blind and deaf.

In marriage being in love is all about being a mumu.

-5minsmadness

Where do you guys find such women? You really need to upgrade

This post is childish though

This is what happens when single folks try to give an opinion on marriage

5minutez mad man!, sorry ,5minutes mad boy, are you married or ever been in one before??biko tell me, before I respond to ya post o, else NA slap I go send over to you

MarvellousGod:
I knew you were going to ask

These are the things I can turn a blind eye to, I will provide just three Egs:

-Not washing foam off the bathroom walls after bath.
-Leaving the kitchen untidy whenever he uses it.
-Leaving his clothes scattered in the wardrobe etttttccc...


I can never be mute if my husband has romantic chats with girls or goes about staring at my friends boobs or behind, it's disgraceful. . I will only keep quiet if my love for him is dead or so tired of his disgraceful acts.. or maybe I gat my own 'parol' too....

Even the three Egs I gave above, before I become quite about them I must shown my displeasure at one or the other.. If my complaints ain't yielding anything, then I ignore. . I can't be completely quitequiet when my partner does things I don't like, what's the essence of communication? You have to express your dissatisfaction cos he may be ignorant of what he's causing you ...it's totally different from nagging. .. I expect my partner to do same to me. My happiness is his happiness and vice versa. ...

Are you married?
If yes, with all due respect YOU ARE LYING.

Lets be honest for once abeg, there's no perfect man or woman out there. I'm not perfect, you definitely are not perfect and most likely your husband isnt perfect. And I'm not talking about washing foams off bathroom walls.

Your husband will glance at a woman's arse at least once in your marriage. Thats a fact. Are you saying you are going to divorce him the moment you catch him once?



p.s, I'm niot talking about condoning romantic chats. But you cant stand around your husband with your eyes wide in alarm everytime someone calls him honey. You will just get bp for nothing.

hahn:


Where do you guys find such women? You really need to upgrade

This post is childish though

This is what happens when single folks try to give an opinion on marriage

Another liar.

How many women have you checked out this week alone? Just lookery, nothing else?

Go on. Lie and tell me none.

gidjah:
5minutez mad man!, sorry ,5minutes mad boy, are you married or ever been in one before??biko tell me, before I respond to ya post o, else NA slap I go send over to you

Are you yourself married?

Why cant we all be honest for once. Same "No reason to hit a woman" crew. If a woman stabs you in the chest with a butcher's knife dont hit her,dont defend yourself, just walk away.
smh.

5minsmadness:


Are you married?
If yes, with all due respect YOU ARE LYING.

Lets be honest for once abeg, there's no perfect man or woman out there. I'm not perfect, you definitely are not perfect and most likely your husband isnt perfect. And I'm not talking about washing foams off bathroom walls.

Your husband will glance at a woman's arse at least once in your marriage. Thats a fact. Are you saying you are going to divorce him the moment you catch him once?

Really?

Did i say anyone is perfect?? Abeg your argument is taking another direction so I will just stop...

5minsmadness:

Another liar.

How many women have you checked out this week alone? Just lookery, nothing else?

Go on. Lie and tell me none.

Guy, I'm married

5minsmadness:


Are you yourself married?

Why cant we all be honest for once. Same "No reason to hit a woman" crew. If a woman stabs you in the chest with a butcher's knife dont hit her,dont defend yourself, just walk away.
smh.

You just got dumped, right? Take heart, smoke some weed and chill. It's not the end the world

MarvellousGod:
Really?

Did i say anyone is perfect?? Abeg your argument is taking another direction so I will just stop...

I have edited my post. Re-read pls.
Which direction is my post taking?

hahn:


Guy, I'm married

And yet you didnt answer my question
Dont worry. I understand.

hahn:


You just got dumped, right? Take heart, smoke some weed and chill. It's not the end the world

No, I didnt just get dumped.
It amazes me how allergic we are to reality in this forum. This is family section for goodness sake, where we are supposed to discuss and air common views. You want to sit in front of your computer and tell me since the day you got married you havent even glanced at another woman's behind? and you are not gay?

Ok.

Quite true. For a relationship/marriage to thrive and subsist one must conduct themselves in an imprudent and fatuous manner most of the time. The moment one becomes conscious and brainy the affair might just hit it dead end. Wiseness and love can never co-exist. For love to thrive, wiseness has to be abjured.

It's near impossible for a marital union to preserve without turning a blind eye to a lot of things. For two people to come together and cohabitates with their true state of mind without overlooking certain misdemeanour of their partner, their union is heading for the rocks.

Humans wants are insatiable and we're becoming ravenous in whatever we embark on lately. Attempting to satisfying one's self is unattainable needless to say another person. This quenchless habit of us is responsible for the high rate of divorce proliferating the world today. Everyone aims to be the other person on the other end whom they think is happier than they are. The world is make believe, no one/couple is without an enigma irrespective of what they want the public to believe.

There's no marriage without issues. Most couple are just living together for the kids sake and prolly to forestall side-talks from friends and relatives. Others just to preserve the union. Happiness is usually far from the reason why marriages last.

5minsmadness:


No, I didnt just get dumped.
It amazes me how allergic we are to reality in this forum. This is family section for goodness sake, where we are supposed to discuss and air common views. You want to sit in front of your computer and tell me since the day you got married you havent even glanced at another woman's behind? and you are not gay?

Ok.

Of course I look at other women's behind. What has that got to do with your initial post?

hahn:


Of course I look at other women's behind. What has that got to do with your initial post?

And you really think your wife hasnt caught you once or twice doing so but didnt say anything about it?

Cutehector:
Naah... I guess its all abt team work.. U dnt hav to be blind.

In marriage u must wink at certain things, which translate to blindness...

5minsmadness:


And you really think your wife hasnt caught you once or twice doing so but didnt say anything about it?

This is how its done, open your ears. Whenever I'm with my wife and I see a big butt shaking in front of us, I say "honey, check out that big ass" and she goes "oboy! Chai, there is god ooo"

ronald4lif:
Quite true. For a relationship/marriage to thrive and subsist one must conduct themselves in an imprudent and fatuous manner most of the time. The moment one becomes conscious and brainy the affair might just hit it dead end. Wiseness and love can never co-exist. For love to thrive, wiseness has to be abjured.

It's near impossible for a marital union to preserve without turning a blind eye to a lot of things. For two people to come together and cohabitates with their true state of mind without overlooking certain misdemeanour of their partner, their union is heading for the rocks.

Humans wants are insatiable and we're becoming ravenous in whatever we embark on lately. Attempting to satisfying one's self is unattainable needless to say another person. This quenchless habit of us is responsible for the high rate of divorce proliferating the world today. Everyone aims to be the other person on the other end whom they think is happier than they are. The world is make believe, no one/couple is without an enigma irrespective of what they want the public to believe.

There's no marriage without issues. Most couple are just living together for the kids sake and prolly to forestall side-talks from friends and relatives. Others just to preserve the union. Happiness is usually far from the reason why marriages last.

U're a very sensible fellow.
@ the emboldened, so true...
If not for pro creation, honestly I see no reason for marriage, this emotion called love is deceitful....

hahn:


This is how its done, open your ears. Whenever I'm with my wife and I see a big butt shaking in front of us, I say "honey, check out that big ass" and she goes "oboy! Chai, there is god ooo"

Yeah right.
Everytime you oogle a woman's bums you tell your wife about it.

Lets say for a moment I beleive you...
You think deep down your wife will be happy hearing you make comments like that, even if you are sharing it with her?
Of course not! But your sharing is like telling her "See, am still doing this thing, but i'm telling you about it so you know its harmless."
She gets that and so wont raise hell about it. she'll turn a blind eye to it.

Thats what I'm talking about.

snakebeat:

U're a very sensible fellow.
@ the emboldened, so true...
If not for pro creation, honestly I see no reason for marriage, this emotion called love is deceitful....

No man is an Island.
you cant remain alone all your life.
The lonliness will be unbearable.

5minsmadness:

Yeah right.
Everytime you oogle a woman's bums you tell your wife about it.

Lets say for a moment I beleive you...
You think deep down your wife will be happy hearing you make comments like that, even if you are sharing it with her?
Of course not! But your sharing is like telling her "See, am still doing this thing, but i'm telling you about it so you know its harmless."
She gets that and so wont raise hell about it. she'll turn a blind eye to it.

Thats what I'm talking about.

That applies to ALL relationships bro not just marriage. Whenever you're dealing with someone else, you have to make sacrifices. You don't expect to be pleased every time. You have to give back too.

hahn:


That applies to ALL relationships bro not just marriage. Whenever you're dealing with someone else, you have to make sacrifices. You don't expect to be pleased every time. You have to give back too.

And in this is the summary of my initial post, only in my case I focused on marriage. Now kindly go back and read the inital post again.
Thank you.

snakebeat:

U're a very sensible fellow.
@ the emboldened, so true...
If not for pro creation, honestly I see no reason for marriage, this emotion called love is deceitful....

There's no such thing as love if one must be honest to themselves. Our abilities to meet our partner's essentials and needs is determinable to the love we get in return. If love really existed one mustn't live up to expectation or meet a certain criteria for it to be requitable. Love is a sham and only the gullible ones fall for it manipulations.

5minsmadness:


And in this is the summary of my initial post, only in my case I focused on marriage. Now kindly go back and read the inital post again.
Thank you.

Do you mean that post where you were lamenting? No, thank you

hahn:


Do you mean that post where you were lamenting? No, thank you

Where was I lamenting?

op good write up.We turn blind eye to some flaws because we want to make it work.There is no perfect man or woman.Thank you op.