daretodiffer:


If your grandma disrespects your wife, she must leave

It doesn't matter what she has gone through because if she cared for you, she will respect your wife and ensure that you have peace of mind.

My gracious! Who are these people

Did u just say 'no matter what she has Been throigh'

May I not make a mistake in Meeting ladies like this, this is so scary.

Did u just say ' no MATTER what she has been throigh', somebody pls help me.

keenn:



My gracious! Who are these people

Did u just say 'no matter what she has Been throigh'

May I not make a mistake in Meeting ladies like this, this is so scary.

Did u just say ' no MATTER what she has been throigh', somebody pls help me.

yes, no matter what she has been through. She has no right to make other people's lives miserable because she has gone through a lot

keenn:



My gracious! Who are these people

Did u just say 'no matter what she has Been throigh'

May I not make a mistake in Meeting ladies like this, this is so scary.

Did u just say ' no MATTER what she has been throigh', somebody pls help me.

I can't even meet or marry a man like you. If I do, don't expect me to stay with a selfish and uncaring man

Your mum has absolutely no reason to put your wife in misery NO MATTER WHAT. IF she has a grudge with her, you are the one that brought her home therefore she must go through you. If you think it is perfectly fine for your wife to be sad and helpless just because your mother went through a lot for you, then you need to marry your mother and divorce your wife.

if mama is not bringing troubles let her stay .we will get old one day, all of us. that being said but if mama despite old age is still raining abuses on the wife, trying to control her son's home then pls let her go.
mama has enjoyed her marriage its time to let her son handle his own marriage.

Op since you say ur wife took gud care of your mum when she was sick dat means she is a good woman but I will like you to find out what went wrong btw them maybe der are no longer the way the use to be so I will advice u speak to dem both and settle dem for peace to regin cos it seems mama is giving wifey a tough time reason y she is insisting dat mama goes

Miami11:


Did you bother to read the part that says mother in law has gotten well, she is healthy and just needs to take her blood pressure medicine home, if she stays in the city who will take care of her home,
Op never said she was disabled.

what is pinching the wife?
and I believe the mother will be more relaxed with her son, at least let her be strong enough to cause wahala before she leaves.

I will keep my mom with me if I were the one and if it were to be my wife's mom it would have been same, unless if I am a wizard that just doesn't want my wife's mom around.

daretodiffer:


I can't even meet or marry a man like you. If I do, don't expect me to stay with a selfish and uncaring man

Your mum has absolutely no reason to put your wife in misery NO MATTER WHAT. IF she has a grudge with her, you are the one that brought her home therefore she must go through you. If you think it is perfectly fine for your wife to be sad and helpless just because your mother went through a lot for you, then you need to marry your mother and divorce your wife.

As regards ur resolution in not considering me as a marriage suitor,well, that is ur opinion.

I can infer u do not understand that clause 'no matter what' , especially if we are to consider her being a single parent.

Some parent(mother) have the tendency to become paranoid, insecure, troublesome, obssessed- obsessive compulsory disorder(expecially mothers that are way too perfect/Clean) or say mentally unstable....this is where we the children need to come in.

I mean why will u allow ur mother get isolated in a house/village because she has personality problems or complexes...my gracious, this is not only preposterous but also disgusting.

keenn:



As regards ur resolution in not considering me as a marriage suitor,well, that is ur opinion.

I can infer u do not understand that clause 'no matter what' , especially if we are to consider her being a single parent.

Some parent(mother) have the tendency to become paranoid, insecure, troublesome, obssessed- obsessive compulsory disorder(expecially mothers that are way too perfect/Clean) or say mentally unstable....this is where we the children need to come in.

I mean why will u allow ur mother get isolated in a house/village because she has personality problems or complexes...my gracious, this is not only preposterous but also disgusting.

I am not saying your parent cannot live with your family but if they are going to be disrespectful or mischievous towards your wife there is no justifiable reason for letting them stay unless they are actually mentally unstable.


I don't care about her paranoia or her OCD, it is not her HOME, It is yours and your wife's!

jamex93:
waiting b some women problem self

bros an sorry to say but its as if u married the wrong wife

just imagine fa


that lady needs to go back to her parent for proper training

wot do u knw abt marriage

D truth is... Ur wife n mom cnt b in d same house. Trust me, even ur mum would neva stay in same house with her mother in law! For ur wife to complain, dey *ur wife n mom* r hvin lil issues dat hv nt come to ur notice. Deal wit it as a man should n folo d bible's standard!

canDy4eva:
wot do u knw abt marriage

alot

My own Mum cannot live with me unless she is so sick that she cannot take care of herself. My former neighbor lives alone now, he had a wife and 4 lovely children and when we first moved to that area they were the kind of family I looked up to. Always together, always happy, strolling in the evenings and jisting. Everything changed when his mother moved in with them. Even to me she was a terror and I was just a neighbor. I remember a day when she openly chastised her daughter in law for calling her husband by name and told her to refer to him as Papa Somebody. Even the children became like ghosts of their selves, they couldn't play, shout or just have fun because It would disturb Mama. My husband tried talking to the guy on several occasions but he kept saying he is Mamas only son. After putting up with it for over 3 years the lady had had enough, she quietly got a transfer outside Lagos and moved first alone then slowly moved the kids. Mama has now left her son and returned to the village so he is all alone and business went down after the wife moved out. He is now a visitor to his wife and kids. He comes to our new place from time to time always lamenting. Meanwhile the wife and children are doing great

It is a matter of understanding.Familiarity brings contempt and in the long run,the will be misunderstanding and fight which is avoidable will set in.Plead with her and do all in your power to arrange for a care for your mum outside your home.Seek God's wisdom to keep your home as your wife will be there for you even if your mum is no more.

[quote author=balash post=36479264]

I have a Mother and she is hale and hearty and a loving Mother so I dont need to start Any form of arguements with you, I sincerely dont need it But Like i rightly ask, How would u feel if your wife Mother Stays with you? You people always shout a husband Mother Like Your wife was not trained by a mother also, The next thing you would say is if the mother did not take care of the husband how would she see him and marry him, But have u forgoteen if her own Mom dint care for her too how would you marry her, You People just love to beleive a wife is a slave in Nigeria, She cooks,care for the homes,care for kids,stays home and you would come every night and rough her with or without her consent surely she has to do it because she is a wife abi... I blame the kind of Lady who marries people Like You. I really am sorry.

why would a husband mother stay with me, Kilode.. Who did she marry? husband or the Mother InLaw..??[/quote
U are full of wisdom n maturity

cococandy:
Where are you from?
In my place the woman's mom is the first choice to come for a new born baby. Just correcting that notion.

Anyway are you saying the woman's mom should be less important to her because the man is the head? Where una dey get all these mumbo jumbo from sef?
So if the wife's mom is sick it won't be ok for her to come and stay indefitnely but it would be ok if the man's mom did because he's the head? Smh.

U even get time reply dis kind post. lol

Nawa o,weda my mum or husband mum 4 me I wil let her stay if she isnt trobulesome , bt if shes trobulesome she wil go make she no destroy my marriage.

[quote author=thelish post=40249513][/quote] thanks dear

So what happens when both father and mother are sick, shd both move into their son's house to spend d rest of their lives there? Are their no other alternative for caring for them other than staying with their children? Me personally will not mind if that is d last option provided d house maintain its peace.

keenn:



U are a shame, embarrassment and dissapointment to man-nation.

U do not represent me/us

One of the reason, if not the only reason for children is to have a part of u taking care of u when u can no longer.

U want ur mom going back to the village and doing all domestics by herself ... Leaving a solitiary life because u are married to another mans daugther....I feel like slapping this guy

Myella:
So what happens when both father and mother are sick, shd both move into their son's house to spend d rest of their lives there? Are their no other alternative for caring for them other than staying with their children? Me personally will not mind if that is d last option provided d house maintain its peace.

Oh yes, when ur parent are both sick (which I don't hope for u) u can take them to old people's home.

Or u can make available a maid that 'll do the caring for them.

Better still u can ignore their plight, after all 'a man shall leave his parent and bond with his wife and they shall b one'

ConfessionsNgr:
My wife has been complaining about my mum's continued stay with us. She even told me in plain language that Mama should return to the village knowing fully well she has no one to stay with. I'm the second born and the first son, my elder sister is not in Nigeria, my two younger siblings are in the university and our dad is late. Mama has been staying alone in the village though she visit us once in a while. When she got sick, I had to bring her to Lagos for proper treatment. To be sincere, my wife did her best in taking good care of Mama during the period of her sickness but since she got better my wife want her to go back to the village. My mum is hypertensive and I still want to watch her to ensure that she is totally healthy before she leaves but my wife isn't patient with me. She insisted that I should get a maid to stay with her in the village and I don't have the financial strength for that now. I'm the one footing my siblings' education bill. And had it been they were around they would have stayed with her but they are in school. Will I stop their education because of that? My wife is not giving any breathing space on this issue at all.


Posted anonymously on www.confessionsnigeria.com
http://confessionsnigeria.com/post/162/my-wife-doesnt-want-my-mum-around

Your wife has a point but you also need to take good care of your mom. Discuss with you sister abroad if you both can cater the responsibility of paying for a maid. Don't rush into any decision. Both are very important in your life. You mom doesn't have so much years left on earth so here care is as important as one with your wife. Beg your wife to be patient.

loshybab:
And to d guy askin hw d guy wud feel if she ws to bring in her mother (wife's mother) as well....u knw dt dsnt mk sense as d man is traditionally d head f a family.dts y her elder sista wudnt b able to accommodate d mama evn if she ws in d country.
That's d more reason y a hubby's mother is d 1st choice to cme bath a newborn baby and nt dt f d wife,it's to show sme respect.d wife's mother only come if d hubby's is late or hs a genuine reason for nt coming nd evn if she cms in d presence f d hubby's mama,she relieves d bathin work nd other works to her (hubby's mama).

sorry please, but in which culture?
what I know is women are more comfortable around their mothers than mother in laws, it is therefore the wife's mama that stay longer. na she go baff her pikin, etc, etc.

anumide:


sorry please, but in which culture?
what I know is women are more comfortable around their mothers than mother in laws, it is therefore the wife's mama that stay longer. na she go baff her pikin, etc, etc.

Dt comfort bcmes second fiddle to d'hubby's'mama's'wen she gt married!
...U garrriiitt?

daretodiffer:


This is common sense not culture. Both parents should be welcomed to stay in their children's home provided they have no one to talk to. Providing them with help is not enough, they need their family.

What would you do if you had just one daughter and your wife is dead? Would you throw away common sense because of a stupid culture and inflated ego?

Then ur common sense shud tel u dts 'conditional' nd nt wen situatns ar normal nd balanced!

loshybab:

Then ur common sense shud tel u dts 'conditional' nd nt wen situatns ar normal nd balanced!

Yea![b] D'wife's mama is only allowed to cme stay in her daughter's'matrimonial home if d'woman hs no living son,[/b]bt if not......no way! I guess u'll continue to shake ur head indefinitely!

This was the post you initially made

where do all these wives come from sef?

daretodiffer:


It is not an excuse

According to your moniker everyone is different, and like I mentioned couples can reach a compromise,some ppl are more social than others,that does not make them bad or wicked,it only points to our differences and uniqueness as individuals as long as we don't disturb each other,the difference adds colour to life.

I'm really astonished at some people's comment on this thread...
Humans forget so quickly whao! Even sons and daughters quickly forget that they were raised by their parents...
The Bible says we should honour our parents whether mother-in-law or father-in-law they are our parents.. If the op feels his mum should stay longer why shouldn't he honour her that way... Na wah o . the way you tolerate your spouse excesses and even that of your parents should be the way you tolerate your mother in laws..
But if it's the woman's mother she can stay as long as she wants even if she troubles her daughter but the man's mother cannot stay...
Please of talk to your wife to be more understanding and find out if they are having issues, then try and settle it... Your own mother can't stay in your house again when there is no one to care for her at the Village.. Na wah o e get as e be..... As long as they are not threatening to kill each other please let us learn to be tolerative of our parent in laws..