GHoJes:

This place is dangerous. Saints are the devil we are seeing.

byvan03:



Isn't the grammar here clearer?hope we are wrong.

GHoJes:

Unfornately, i think we are right. It is "clearest" in the history, even the fullstop. She was here all morning but ran immediately i called her out.

5minsmadness:


That depends on my closeness with the person.

If It's a friend's wife and I saw them cheating without a doubt I would confront her about it outright and warn her. Her knowing that I know would probably put an end to her philandering ways. I would still need to catch her a second time before I reported, or if she was unrepentant in our encounter I would report. At most I'd send an anonymous text.

If it was family e.g my brother then it's directly my business. Honestly though I still think I would approach the guilty party first. Or at most send an anonymous message to my bro to tip him off. I would only tell straight away if she has been known for such bad behavior in the past or if on confronting her she dares me.

byvan03:



You saw her ? Viewing?

GHoJes:
Can you snif what I'm percieving/Op/the history...jennyluv here..
Cc Byvan03

Maziomenuko

Godenruby

Queenfav

Gboliwe
Olu4life
Colussus

Idowuogbo

Gboliwe:


Sniff gini kwa? Are they"shearing" cocaine abi is heroine now sniffed too?
Even with this my extralarge nose, I can't sniff anything at all.

This OP writes better than the other bebe. (insults un-intended) the other bebe be the original cut and join, this one is just an apprentice. Na work she still dey learn.

byvan03:



You saw her ? Viewing?

GHoJes:

Did you notice the fullstop thingy, the tone in the history with this moniker. I think she put up how best with this one like the first time she introduced bimbotosi.. But its ok if you see otherwise.

5minsmadness:

GHoJes:
Can you snif what I'm percieving/Op/the history...jennyluv here..
Cc Byvan03

Maziomenuko

Godenruby

Queenfav

Gboliwe
Olu4life
Colussus

GHoJes:

Did you notice the fullstop thingy, the tone in the history with this moniker. I think she put up how best with this one like the first time she introduced bimbotosi.. But its ok if you see otherwise.

cococandy:

What r you people talking about?

I'm sorry my amebo could not resist.

cococandy:
For those that would consider telling, 90 percent of that decision should depend on the kind of person your friend is.
Would they appreciate such info or not?

If they won't, then telling them is in vain. It won't solve the problem-assuming that's what your aim was to start with. And you end up the bad guy who's out to ruin their marriage. Be careful.

But if you're sure they will appreciate it, not telling them would be a disservice to your friendship.

The kind of friend he/she is to you also matters. Not everyone you go shopping with or to salon is your friend. Only do that for friends close enough to trust that you have their best interest at heart and not the ones whom you haven't been through enough with that they doubt your motives.

Also how sure you are about what you saw is like 10% of the decision. You don't want to be caught exaggerating something that turns out to not be as bad as your amebo radar initially made it out to be.

cococandy:

What r you people talking about?

I'm sorry my amebo could not resist.

GHoJes:

Not viewing, i mean with this moniker, then in my last convo with her here i told her to erase her spots if she isnt jenny, she ran since then. She may still come to say she isnt but we cant be easily decieved by her anymore.
I also hope we are wrong but its too glaring.

cococandy:
For those that would consider telling, 90 percent of that decision should depend on the kind of person your friend is.
Would they appreciate such info or not?

If they won't, then telling them is in vain. It won't solve the problem-assuming that's what your aim was to start with. And you end up the bad guy who's out to ruin their marriage. Be careful.

But if you're sure they will appreciate it, not telling them would be a disservice to your friendship.

The kind of friend he/she is to you also matters. Not everyone you go shopping with or to salon is your friend. Only do that for friends close enough to trust that you have their best interest at heart and not the ones whom you haven't been through enough with that they doubt your motives.

MRBrownJ:


i am sorry but i have to disagree sista...
1) if that friend dont appreciate what i have to say then let her tell me that AFTER i have said my peace (and i subsequently remove that dumbass from my life).

2) i cant for any reason under the sun sit back and pretend that i didnt see anything that i saw, simply because my friends is weak or cant take the TRUTH! if they want to live in denial then so be it but they CANNOT/SHOULDNT expect me to lower myself to their cheap/weak levels, where we should bury our heads in the sand. where do we draw the line and why should we even lie//hide such petty things?!

3) how would you know what your friend can or cant take if you hide the truth from them?! it is NOT your call to make as a friend, and you should be brutally honest (or sugar coat the truth if you wish), regardless of the outcome.

4) why what i have to say should "resolve" anything?! so far as i know, the friend is telling her in good faith that it is just NOTHING... but it sure cant be dismissed without confirmation that it is "nothing"

i expect NO less from people i call my friends (or anyone for that matter) because i know i am clean. the people who are against such issues are the one that aint clean, because only ill deeds will break up a union. so let us all grow some backbone here and stop accepting/settling for a state of mind where everyone is pretending like zombies; where everyone is afraid to be themselves; where we protect any suspicious actions for fear of hurting some poor desperate sod who cant take the bloody truth!

MRBrownJ:

i am sorry but i have to disagree sista...
1) if that friend dont appreciate what i have to say then let her tell me that AFTER i have said my peace (and i subsequently remove that dumbass from my life).
2) i cant for any reason under the sun sit back and pretend that i didnt see anything that i saw, simply because my friends is weak or cant take the TRUTH! if they want to live in denial then so be it but they CANNOT/SHOULDNT expect me to lower myself to their cheap/weak levels, where we should bury our heads in the sand. where do we draw the line and why should we even lie//hide such petty things?!
3) how would you know what your friend can or cant take if you hide the truth from them?! it is NOT your call to make as a friend, and you should be brutally honest (or sugar coat the truth if you wish), regardless of the outcome.
4) why what i have to say should "resolve" anything?! so far as i know, the friend is telling her in good faith that it is just NOTHING... but it sure cant be dismissed without confirmation that it is "nothing"
i expect NO less from people i call my friends (or anyone for that matter) because i know i am clean. the people who are against such issues are the one that aint clean, because only ill deeds will break up a union. so let us all grow some backbone here and stop accepting/settling for a state of mind where everyone is pretending like zombies; where everyone is afraid to be themselves; where we protect any suspicious actions for fear of hurting some poor desperate sod who cant take the bloody truth!

cococandy:
I see your point MrBrown and on a good day, I agree with it.

Only that experience has taught me otherwise.
For men and women in our society, and that's the POV I'm speaking from, marriage means different things to them. For some women there's no them without a husband and you coming to say you saw their husband doing this or that makes you the enemy that wants to ruin their marriage.
I'd rather respect myself than have someone think I'm out to ruin their marriage. Woe betide you if you're single and doing that. You must be jealous

I can tell you that most men would want to be told if their wife was caught cheating while the ladies would rather not be told because then calling the man out on his behavior and putting down their feet to demand a change will be a hard task for them.
They'd rather be married and endure it -as you know, we've somehow convinced ourselves that all men cheat to avoid dealing with the truth that we ended up with the wrong person.

GHoJes:

There are friends and there is friend!
Friends are mere acquaintances here and there. Friends are the ones to whom you give the much you can afford not expecting anything in return.
The ones you should attach the sacred word friend to, are those whom you give much and expect much in return, like having your back because you got theirs?
Where to draw the line? From conversations and actions over time, you should know if you have a friend. It is either miss B was not sensitive enough to know the one she calls friend, only see her as former classmate as stated here in this thread or she is living in denial after knowing the mindset of her supposed friend because they seem not to have anything in common. However if after this episode, miss B does not redefined what she termed friendship with the Op, then she is on a "long thing". Now i hate to say this but it is the truth; this is also what is also brewing problems between feminists and non feminists here. Some non feminists would rather embrace the devil than a feminist, vice versa. Knowing this, they (especially feminist) should state their opinions because they want to and know when not to waste their time on certain people or situations to avoid unnecessary fights.

MRBrownJ:

yes some desperate people wouldnt care if their partner cheats or not (and would stay in that disrespectful marriage regardless) but whats important here is: is it right?! and do YOU care?! if what you saw is not RIGHT then you must voice your concern. if you care that something may be foul here then you also must voice your concern... and if people will paint you as a marriage broker then to hell with what ignorant people think, so long as you did what is RIGHT by you. if you indeed "respect" that FRIENDSHIP then you must advise your friend, and to hell with how she will react.
yep, thats the sad world we live in today where some women are so desperate to "stay married at all costs" and pretend that they are happy to the whole world, that they accept such miserable lives/treatments, and would turn on you because you cared.
also, as someone said earier, this "amebo" state of mind has got to GO!!! if anyone sees anything suspicious they must voice their concerns, whether its their friend's husband or anything else!
so where exactly do you draw the line? and most importantly, why should we ever? does righteousness only work with a few people/instances?!
- you see a common friend's husband kissing another man, would you voice your concern?
- you are in the bus and you see a guy having his hand in a lady's bag, would you voice your concern?
- your friend comes over and his/her mouth stinks, would you voice your concern?
- you see strange people lurking around your neighbour's car, would you voice your concern?
- you see a child alone in the street and later see a man talking to that child before leaving with the kid, would you voice your concern?

Chidoks:
byvan03,GHojes, i just got to understand what you guys were sniffing about.pls stop sniffinf before you inhale some dangerous substances.i wanted to ignore your insinuations afterall we don't know ourselves but i think i should set the records straight though i shall do it just this once.i am me not someone else.i don't have an alternate moniker.
i got busy when GHojes started sniffing, i just got to understand the sniffing was about me. i had always believed that '...' is a sign of continuity used to express thing you'd rather not say thus i use it except for today when i was multitasking and was rathwr fast.5minutes is right, my phone also contributes to some of my mistakes...
hahaha did i just do that? ...

GHoJes:

I'm glad you are not mad at it, i did the checking well again, there are similarities but its different. I apologise on behalf of myself and byvan.

Chidoks:
See me see trouble o.
I have these two secondary school mates; one is still single( let's call her Miss B) and the other is married( call her Mrs C)
We three live in the same town though Mrs C moved in like a year ago with her family.we make out to see ourslves.just yesterday evening Miss B called that she saw Mrs C's husband with a babe at a joint
" so ?" i replied
" he's cheating on her"
" how do you know, it could be a business meeting or something.the lady may even be a relative" i almost snapped, i hadn't served dinner.
"babes i know what i'm saying .this isn't the first time,i once saw them coming out of XYZ guest house and...
" hey hold on a second" i cut her short " how did you see them, have you been keeping tabs on another wonan's husband"
" see" her tone had changed." don't you understand, .."

ronald4lif:
MrBrownJ has been deliberating all day about what is right and what is not. I don't know what makes him or anyone think they have the mandate or audacity to dictate and tell what is right in another's person home. Indeed, we learn everyday and this has got to be one of my greatest albeit weird knowledge so far on this platform. Who would have thought another's privacy can be something anyone can intrude into and claim their are doing the right thing according to them.

Now that we have degenerated to the point of doing what is right and what is not without minding the consequences and aftermath of our actions, may I plead that we digress a little and see how lengthy you can go to substantiate your right claims, shall we?

[b]Let's assume we are buddies and I do smoke once in a while or a chain smoker but my wife doesn't know as I always ensure to clean my tracks away from her. Would you turn around to tell her in the name of doing what is "right"?

I have a child before I got married to madam but I never told her as I was afraid it could ruin my chances of getting her tied to me. You as my long time buddy is aware or might not be aware about it but I later told you. Would you in the spirit of rightness disclose this to her?

I and my wife have a mortgage home and she has been appealing to me to pay off the balance so it can be outrightly ours but I have been evasive and lying that I don't have the money even though I do. My reason being that, since she's European or we're resident in Europe where alimony settlements are strictly enforced any property bought here might turn out hers in the event of a divorce and for that reason I opted to purchase a property in Nigeria without her knowledge but you are aware. Would you open up to her and damn the consequences in this paradigm of rightness?[/b]

Your response to this posers would go a long way to clarify what you truly mean by doing the right thing and why you think it is your obligation to tell what is your "right" in others private affairs.