Hon. Patrick Obahiagbon Reacts To The
Dana Plane Crash:
1) We must halt this ludicrously lugubrious
kakistocracy. We must demur against
demuren (no onomatopoeic extrapolation
intended). The quotidian stentorian
atribilous ululation is abyssopelagic. The
country is on a precipice of pocalyptic
crepscule”.
Meaning: We must investigate and put
aviation sector right, else we all die flying!



On Germany v Brazil match (in the 2014 FIFA
World Cup in Brazil):
2) “I am maniacally bewildered, overgassted
and flabberwhelmed at the paraplegic
crinkum crankum that characterised the Glo
CAF awards culminating in an odoriferous
saga cum gargantuan gaga! The jiggery
pokery of CAF in crowning Yaya Toure
instead of our very own prodigy John Obi
Mikel is a veritable bugaboo that must be
pooh-poohed by all compos mentis homo
sapiens! The perfidy and Mendacity of all the
apparatchic of sports suzerainty is not only
repugnant but also insalubrious!
I said to my self: What an anathematous
disdain of the citizenry! What a deprecable
descent from the sublime to the ridiculous!
Who will curb the odoriferous excesses of
this machavellian and mephistophelean
cabal in the Confederation? With this state
of affairs, i dare say that African football is
swimming in a pestilential aqua with a
disastrious terminus ad quem inherently
laden with avoidable cataracts, ice bergs and
oxbow Lakes. It is sardonic and lugubrious!!!”




On Democracy Day Celebration:
3) “A celebration of democracy or a
deprecable apotheosis of an hemorrhaging
plutocracy, cascading into a mobocracy with
all the ossifying proclivities of a kakistocracy?
With our “democracy” enveloped in a
paraplegic crinkum-crankum, we must all
rise up to bring to focal hiceps and biceps,
Nigeria’s “Pluto-mobo-kakistocracy”….
Certainly not democracy!”




On Nelson Mandela:
4) “Alas the last of the great Titans… The
great one who pricked himself on a
senticous bush as he pushed for the
freedom of his people from oppression… An
epitome of sophronization…We shall not cry,
rather we will celebrate a life truly well
lived…
Rest in peace Madiba…”




5) ‘President Professor John Evans Atta Mills’
passing on is a mere ephemeral recumbent
hibernation; an empyrean paradisiac
rendezvous lies ahead. Heaven is the
terminus. The ecclesiastic, executive and
legislature and all Ghanaians at large have
lost a solitaire. Any veritable verification of
the verity of President Professor John Evans
Atta Mills’ demise? I am in a state of
metagrabolised melancholia’.



Quote From A Condolence Letter Of Chief
Enahoro:
6) “Certainly the fall of another titan. Chief
Anthony Enahoro’s modus vivendi, whilst he
peregrinated through this will-o-the-wisp of
a three-dimensional world, resonated with a
divine halo of an iconic personage who was
propelled by the PIRKEAVOTHIAN apothegm
which urges man to realise that ‘the day is
short and the work is great.’ No wonder that
from a very young age, he engaged in self
abnegation and mortification of the flesh in
a Spartan, clinical and cerebral bid to salvage
the Nigerian project even at the expense of
his health infrastructure. He ceaselessly
fulminated against vagabonds in power
whose primus mobile had philistinic
anchorage in a depreciably mindless crave
for vacuous hedonism and ingratiating
political megalomania.


On Fuel Subsidy:
7) “I have read with acatalectic disgust,
governments asinine and puerile
ratiocinations attempting to justiceate the
proposed removal of subsidies from
petroleum products. It has asseverated that
it’s intentions is guided by the need to
checkmate the odoriferous excesses of a
Machiavellian and Mephistophelean
cabal and I have said to myself, what a
shame? What a self-indicting admitttal of the
failure of governance? What an hocus-
pocus?


On Ojukwu’s Demise:
”The invitation to the Celestial Lodge of
the Soul Personality of the irrefrangible and
sui ge.neris Ikemba himself-Dim Odimegwu
Ojukwu-brings again to focal hiceps and
biceps the ephemerality of life. Beyond the
state of lachrymoseism his celestial
ascension has and would continue to
righteously bestir,i do hope however that we
take immutable cognition of the fact that the
fundamental issues which Ikemba
confronted has now even coagulated and
ossified into gorgon medusa.
For Nigeria to progress,we must apotheosize
our centripetal proclivities above our
centrifugal excrescence.



On Private Jet Acquisition:
9) I cast my vote for Bishop Matthew Hassan
Kukah and Pastor Tunde Bakare in their
demosthenic vitriol against spiritual
megalomaniacs whose modus vivendi has
become increasingly byzantine and
repulsively narcissistic. We must all begin to
deprecate this razzmatazz and Nestorian
braggadocio in the “HOUSE OF GOD”
because when there is no difference
between the values of a Pastor and a typical
Nigerian Politician, then it’s truly a bolekaja
ambience…..
Any interpreter around?



Patrick Obahiagbon’s Hilarious Easter
Message
10) “As we join Christians in the celebration
of Easter,may we truly reflect on the
quintessential modus vivendi of Master
Jesus The Christ who peregrinated this
incarnation as an exempli gratia of self
abnegation,puritanical excrescence,spartan
discipline,mental, magnitude,hierophantic
candour and altruistic effusions,qualities
which have become a desiderata for
national resurgimento.”



Patrick Obahiagbon Blows Grammar On
ASUU Strike: “Paraphlegic Crinkum Crankum”
11) “This ASUU strike is a miasma of a
deprecable apothesis of an hemorrhaging
plutocracy, cascadinly oozing into a
maladorous excresence of
mobocracy… With all tarmangant ossifying
proclivities of a kakistocracy, our knowledgia
centura is enveloped in a paraphlegic
crinkum crankum. Therefore, ASUU, cest in
dejavu, dejavu peret ologomabia.”





Congratulating Super Eagles:
12) “Its my emblem pleasure to congratulate
our Superior Melofarm exclamagated
Bermasaur on their recent victory against
Ivory Coast.
As the refermed, solid giants are to face
Winners of the later game in an uncavoured
camfamgnam match, my empyrean
paradisiac rendezvous advice to the Super
Eagles is for them to recumbently
metragaloblicly believe in God. If possible,
they should parademically paralyze their
pistulated orthodexial legs. I wish them
arxiatical luck.





On 2014 Rivers State House of Assembly
Crisis: “It’s Bringing Calamitous End To
Nigeria”
13) “Is the malodorous excrescence in Rivers
State,cascadingly oozing out from erebus
Dame,all about the satiation of a
megalomaniacal presidential termagant?Let
someone assist me in whispering to the
Dame that Alagamus Paret Ai Ai Num,Ai Ai
Num Cest Daret,Opotere Alagamus…”




On Prof Festus Iyayi, Former ASUU
President’s Death:
14) “The grand initiation of Professor Festus
Iyayi is a lancinating loss of another
stentorian voice, against retrograde and
prebendal forces of primitive mercantilism.
That he passed through transition on
matters pro bono publico, bears eloquent
testimony to our state of dystopia. Such is
the evanescence of life.Its all vanitas
vanitatum.”




On Nigeria At 52:
15) “As we celebrate our flag and shambolic
autarky at 52, we must realize that Nigeria is
still more of a geographic contrivance as has
been rightly posited by Chief Obafemi
Awolowo.
Not with our centrifugal excrescences
preponderating over our centripetal
proclivities. It’s a matter for mental pabulum
that we are daily drifting into our ethnic
cocoons.
We still remain one country with disparate
ethnic agendas and I can say it for the
umpteenth time again that we must sit down
in a sovereign national colloquy to discuss
the basis for our nationhood.
Anything short of this is just vacuous
scahiamachy.”
May God bless our country.



abeg bini people too like grammar..oh maybe its because they were the first to speak english.

LOL

What language is this? English?

LMAO now I have gotten a huge headache after reading the 3rd one. Blood of God.

DaVinChiSam:
LMAO now I have gotten a huge headache after reading the 3rd one. Blood of God.

Lol

You need to crack ur ribs witH no 13

This man just dey mix latin and other languages to give us as english.Chai there is God oooo

How does this man communicate with his family sef

These Are Jaw Breaking, Tongue Twisting And Headache Causing Words

tunmidon:
How does this man communicate with his family sef

Lol

For instance he wants to scold his son for stealing ..he goes thus ..

Hello embryological derived spermatozoa , it decrypts my neurological comprhension how your voodo vudaa has encompassed my kritum krantum. The trend of youthful exuberance is skyrocketing with an accelerated and meticulous pace ..all I am saying is don't steal next time

Abeg who get KUNU my throat don dry from calling all those tongue twisters

Number 13 funny die, this man nor well o

all these school I go, I still cannot make sense out of all he is saying.

Bennyzino:

Lol

For instance he wants to scold his son for stealing ..he goes thus ..

Hello embryological derived spermatozoa , it decrypts my neurological comprhension how your voodo vudaa has encompassed my kritum krantum. The trend of youthful exuberance is skyrocketing with an accelerated and meticulous pace ..all I am saying is don't steal next time

. Lol you got that right