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An Hilarious Testimony In The Church - Religion - Nairaland

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An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by MizJanet(f): 11:20am On Sep 28, 2015
I really have no idea why this churches decide to make noise at night just to disturb the sleep of their neighbours , anyway their noise reveal their hypocrisy . Ask me how ?

A lady came out to give her testimony , she narrated how she would have died from an accident , a petrol tanker falls and That would have led to mass death if a tiny blaze of fire was near . She said they all ran away from their cars but thankfully the situation was controlled . She said they were all afraid . But she is happy they did not die


NOW , I wont have any problem with this experience if this lady doesnt bliv she will go to heaven , that means she is only protecting the only one live she had .

But from the tone of her voice and songs she used while delivering her experience , you will know she is an HEAVEN beliver . Funny , Then the question is: why is she happy that she didnt die and go to heaven ? why thank God for taking away your golden opportunity to be in heaven ?

6 Likes

Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by donTbone(m): 11:22am On Sep 28, 2015
shocked shocked shocked still don't get the question

1 Like

Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by sltn(m): 11:29am On Sep 28, 2015
that last part was funny! lol
Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by Image123(m): 11:38am On Sep 28, 2015
MizJanet:
I really have no idea why this churches decide to make noise at night just to disturb the sleep of their neighbours , anyway their noise reveal their hypocrisy . Ask me how ?

A lady came out to give her testimony , she narrated how she would have died from an accident , a petrol tanker falls and That would have led to mass death if a tiny blaze of fire was near . She said they all ran away from their cars but thankfully the situation was controlled . She said they were all afraid . But she is happy they did not die


NOW , I wont have any problem with this experience if this lady doesnt bliv she will go to heaven , that means she is only protecting the only one live she had .

But from the tone of her voice and songs she used while delivering her experience , you will know she is an HEAVEN beliver . Funny , Then the question is: why is she happy that she didnt die and go to heaven ? why thank God for taking away your golden opportunity to be in heaven ?

You impart and impact here on earth, not in heaven. The opportunity is just a lifetime. Some people are happy to die too, like suicide bombers and some at Hajj. I'm sure that doesn't convince you either. Give your life to Jesus and enjoy eternal life.
Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by basille(m): 12:09pm On Sep 28, 2015
Op i find your question more hilarious than the woman's testimony. grin grin grin
Would you agree to die now and go to heaven?

1 Like

Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by MizJanet(f): 2:21pm On Sep 28, 2015
basille:
Op i find your question more hilarious than the woman's testimony. grin grin grin
Would you agree to die now and go to heaven?



You should ask yourself that question , but unfortunately you will say NO , its clear you people dont belive what you preach grin mouth service

3 Likes

Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by MizJanet(f): 2:23pm On Sep 28, 2015
donTbone:
shocked shocked shocked still don't get the question

Why should she thank God for taking away her opportunity to die and go to her desired heaven ,?

3 Likes

Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by donTbone(m): 2:25pm On Sep 28, 2015
MizJanet:


Why should she thank God for taking away her opportunity to die and go to her desired heaven ,?

Why did we have to give thanks for waking up to see a new day
Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by MizJanet(f): 2:30pm On Sep 28, 2015
Image123:

You impart and impact here on earth, not in heaven. The opportunity is just a lifetime. Some people are happy to die too, like suicide bombers and some at Hajj. I'm sure that doesn't convince you either. Give your life to Jesus and enjoy eternal life.


lol @ red , a man desire to be in New York City , do you think he would waste time to get his visa at any slight opportunity ? , you guys desire to be with Jesus in heaven but you always run away from opportunities like sickness , accidents e.t.c thats funny , since those oppotunities that will enable you to get you visa to heaven . Death !

3 Likes

Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by Image123(m): 2:34pm On Sep 28, 2015
MizJanet:


lol @ red , a man desire to be in New York City , do you think he would waste time to get his visa at any slight opportunity ? , you guys desire to be with Jesus in heaven but you always run away from opportunities like sickness , accidents e.t.c thats funny , since those oppotunities that will enable you to get you visa to heaven . Death !

You impart and impact here on earth, not in heaven. The opportunity is just a lifetime. Some people are happy to die too, like suicide bombers and some at Hajj. I'm sure that doesn't convince you either. Give your life to Jesus and enjoy eternal life.
Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by MizJanet(f): 2:35pm On Sep 28, 2015
donTbone:


Why did we have to give thanks for waking up to see a new day


Simply because you dont belive in what you preach ; they are fictions ; if you surely belive , you would have prayed to die that night and be in heaven INSTEAD of waking up to earth.

You are scared , death might be as the reality calls it . END of life , the opposite of living is NON - LIVING . Thats why your lady that gives testimony was happy she didnt die yet she want to be in heaven .

2 Likes

Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by MizJanet(f): 2:37pm On Sep 28, 2015
Image123:


You impart and impact here on earth, not in heaven. The opportunity is just a lifetime. Some people are happy to die too, like suicide bombers and some at Hajj. I'm sure that doesn't convince you either. Give your life to Jesus and enjoy eternal life.


Gosh ! Am speaking with a programm'ed ro.bot
Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by basille(m): 2:41pm On Sep 28, 2015
MizJanet:



You should ask yourself that question , but unfortunately you will say NO , its clear you people dont belive what you preach grin mouth service

Lol. Don't be quick to jump into conclusions.
I don't want to go heaven unless they have Playstation 4, an 8k UHD 60" television, and most importantly free wifi there. cheesy
Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by donTbone(m): 2:42pm On Sep 28, 2015
MizJanet:



Simply because you dont belive in what you preach ; they are fictions ; if you surely belive , you would have prayed to die that night and be in heaven INSTEAD of waking up to earth.

You are scared , death might be as the reality calls it . END of life , the opposite of living is NON - LIVING . Thats why your lady that gives testimony was happy she didnt die yet she want to be in heaven .

There is a reson for me to still be alive! my sole priority will be to die empty than die early!
Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by MizJanet(f): 2:45pm On Sep 28, 2015
basille:
Lol. Don't be quick to jump into conclusions.
I don't want to go heaven unless they have Playstation 4, an 8k UHD 60" television, and most importantly free wifi there. cheesy



Chai ! Game freak cheesy
Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by Image123(m): 2:48pm On Sep 28, 2015
MizJanet:


Gosh ! Am speaking with a programm'ed ro.bot

i don't want to believe I'm speaking to one incapable of reading, comprehension and intelligent discussion.
You impart and impact here on earth, not in heaven. The opportunity is just a lifetime. Some people are happy to die too, like suicide bombers and some at Hajj. I'm sure that doesn't convince you either. Give your life to Jesus and enjoy eternal life.

1 Like

Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by Image123(m): 2:50pm On Sep 28, 2015
basille:
Lol. Don't be quick to jump into conclusions.
I don't want to go heaven unless they have Playstation 4, an 8k UHD 60" television, and most importantly free wifi there. cheesy

Happiness doesn't consist or limit to these.

1 Like

Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by MizJanet(f): 10:20am On Sep 29, 2015
Image123:


i don't want to believe I'm speaking to one incapable of reading, comprehension and intelligent discussion.
You impart and impact here on earth, not in heaven. The opportunity is just a lifetime.

haha ! So making impact and impact on earth is much more worthy than you been in heaven ? Uh ! Thats a sign you dont belive what you preach ,have you seen someone who truly desires to be in New York and had the opportunity to achieve his aim but prefers to stay in Nigeria ? !!!!!


Some people are happy to die too, like suicide bombers

are you nut ?

Is suicide bombing not a business ? Thats a money contract , you die becos of the money



and some at Hajj.

too bad ! Are you telling me that those who died at Hajj travelled to Mecca for the aim of dying ?

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by djdoxxx(m): 12:25pm On Sep 29, 2015
MizJanet:


haha ! So making impact and impact on earth is much more worthy than you been in heaven ? Uh ! Thats a sign you dont belive what you preach ,have you seen someone who truly desires to be in New York and had the opportunity to achieve his aim but prefers to stay in Nigeria ? !!!!!



are you nut ?

Is suicide bombing not a business ? Thats a money contract , you die becos of the money




too bad ! Are you telling me that those who died at Hajj travelled to Mecca for the aim of dying ?
free The Mofo...The Mofo Is A Foolishly Foolish Fool.

2 Likes

Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by K9blunt(f): 1:49pm On Sep 29, 2015
I bow o Miz Janet. and that image guy or whatever his monica is......... is just plain misguided and I suggest you free him in his ignorant bliss or else you will just get intellectually exhausted

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Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by Image123(m): 2:15pm On Sep 29, 2015
MizJanet:


haha ! So making impact and impact on earth is much more worthy than you been in heaven ? Uh ! Thats a sign you dont belive what you preach ,have you seen someone who truly desires to be in New York and had the opportunity to achieve his aim but prefers to stay in Nigeria ? !!!!!



are you nut ?

Is suicide bombing not a business ? Thats a money contract , you die becos of the money




too bad ! Are you telling me that those who died at Hajj travelled to Mecca for the aim of dying ?

Heaven is for eternity, countless millions of years. Staying on earth a couple extra years is no biggie for those who understand. Why rush to NY today and be unable to make any extra cash when you get to New York, when you can work and make extra today and still leave tomorrow. It's supposed to be commonsense!!
My reference to Hajj and suicide bombers is with the angle on some of them's readiness, happiness and preparedness to die. Does their happiness, resignation and readiness make you feel better? Why then and how do some Christians unreadiness disturb you?

1 Like

Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by Image123(m): 2:48pm On Sep 29, 2015
K9blunt:
I bow o Miz Janet. and that image guy or whatever his monica is......... is just plain misguided and I suggest you free him in his ignorant bliss or else you will just get intellectually exhausted

Of what benefits are your being rightly guided, at least you agree that i have bliss?
Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by K9blunt(f): 2:53pm On Sep 29, 2015
Image123:


Of what benefits are your being rightly guided, at least you agree that i have bliss?

death can come anytime, so I have to live my life as my conscience deems fit, am happy and I feel free.

only hypocrites feel they really want to go to heaven but to die is not on their happy list.
Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by Image123(m): 4:56pm On Sep 29, 2015
K9blunt:


death can come anytime, so I have to live my life as my conscience deems fit, am happy and I feel free.

only hypocrites feel they really want to go to heaven but to die is not on their happy list.

I'm also happy and free, despite being allegedly misguided. My conscience deems it fit for me to serve God and believe Him. Only hypocrites feel there's no heaven and yet are not at ease with people like me.
Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by MizJanet(f): 6:25pm On Sep 29, 2015
Image123:


Heaven is for eternity, countless millions of years. Staying on earth a couple extra years is no biggie for those who understand.


Imagiiine that ! Staying on earth a couple of EXTRA YEARS grin , so thats much more important than to be with Jesus ?



Why rush to NY today and be unable to make any extra cash when you get to New York, when you can work and make extra today and still leave tomorrow. It's supposed to be commonsense!!




Bull.shit ! Will you go to New York now if you had the opportunity provided You got a relative thats gonna care for you in New York ?

- If yes , why didnt she embrace her oportunity to die instantly since jesus will care for you ?


- If no, that means you didnt trust your relative in new york , she didnt trust jesus ? I see OR you are not interested in going to NY , which means you aint interested in going to heaven ? That then means you dont belive what you preach .




My reference to Hajj and suicide bombers is with the angle on some of them's readiness, happiness and preparedness to die. Does their happiness, resignation and readiness make you feel better? Why then and how do some Christians unreadiness disturb you?


This man, none of those who died at Hajj prepare for such , they didnt go to Mecca for the aim of dying .

A suicide bomber is not motivated by the desire to die , what motivates him or her is the Money ! The money is the TOP priority . Not a matter of been happy to die .

Infact , lets assume that a suicide embrace that opportuniy to die , WHY DO U GUYS SHOUT " BLOOD OF JESUS!!" when you meet the opportunities to die in a road accident . Lol , they will even start praying Not to die . " ooooooo jesus pls save us , we dont want to die , your sons must not die , " . grin Hypocrites .
Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by PastorOluT(m): 9:04pm On Sep 29, 2015
MizJanet:
I really have no idea why this churches decide to make noise at night just to disturb the sleep of their neighbours , anyway their noise reveal their hypocrisy . Ask me how ?

A lady came out to give her testimony , she narrated how she would have died from an accident , a petrol tanker falls and That would have led to mass death if a tiny blaze of fire was near . She said they all ran away from their cars but thankfully the situation was controlled . She said they were all afraid . But she is happy they did not die


NOW , I wont have any problem with this experience if this lady doesnt bliv she will go to heaven , that means she is only protecting the only one live she had .

But from the tone of her voice and songs she used while delivering her experience , you will know she is an HEAVEN beliver . Funny , Then the question is: why is she happy that she didnt die and go to heaven ? why thank God for taking away your golden opportunity to be in heaven ?

Smile, u dont even understand what u say. Ok going by ur rationale, then they shouldnt have been born on earth at all but in Heaven?

NB The fact that we are born/placed on earth means that there is a purpose for that, Heaven also have its purpose. So all things will continue till its fulfilment, its not just about going to heaven or remaining here on earth. And pat attention to what Image123 said @op!
Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by Image123(m): 9:38pm On Sep 29, 2015
MizJanet:



Imagiiine that ! Staying on earth a couple of EXTRA YEARS grin , so thats much more important than to be with Jesus ?


No, not more important. Every child of God is already with Jesus in a sense BTW. Patience is a virtue given us by God, waiting some tiny 100years to go home and stay for over 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000years is a luxury we can afford. Stare at the big picture until it sinks.


Bull.shit ! Will you go to New York now if you had the opportunity provided You got a relative thats gonna care for you in New York ?

- If yes , why didnt she embrace her oportunity to die instantly since jesus will care for you ?


- If no, that means you didnt trust your relative in new york , she didnt trust jesus ? I see OR you are not interested in going to NY , which means you aint interested in going to heaven ? That then means you dont belive what you preach .


Jesus already cares for you and for us, you are not waiting for Him to care for you in Heaven. You are ignorant of so much.
1Pe 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
That extra opportunity to impart and impact here on earth is not there in Heaven. The opportunity and privilege to earn more reward and points as it were is here on earth. It is here that sowing takes place.



This man, none of those who died at Hajj prepare for such , they didnt go to Mecca for the aim of dying .

A suicide bomber is not motivated by the desire to die , what motivates him or her is the Money ! The money is the TOP priority . Not a matter of been happy to die .

Infact , lets assume that a suicide embrace that opportuniy to die , WHY DO U GUYS SHOUT " BLOOD OF JESUS!!" when you meet the opportunities to die in a road accident . Lol , they will even start praying Not to die . " ooooooo jesus pls save us , we dont want to die , your sons must not die , " . grin Hypocrites .

My point exactly. Being prepared to die, ready to die or wanting to die is not a proof of anything in the context of our discussions. SOME people are prepared, willing and resigned to die. i gave example of SOME Hajj stampede victims and suicide bombers. Some of them are willing and resigned and ready, with the hope that they are going to some place(false or real). These people do not make you change your mind, opinion or attitude, do they? So, it does not matter much to you the attitude of other theists who do otherwise when faced with death. That is the reality on ground. Your gloating around is just you hiding again behind that finger of yours.
Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by MizJanet(f): 10:11pm On Sep 29, 2015
PastorOluT:


Smile, u dont even understand what u say. Ok going by ur rationale, then they shouldnt have been born on earth at all but in Heaven?


of cos , use your brain ; why would a god waste time to create the earth if his sole aim is to take them to heaven ?


NB The fact that we are born/placed on earth means that there is a purpose for that, Heaven also have its purpose. So all things will continue till its fulfilment, its not just about going to heaven or remaining here on earth. And pat attention to what Image123 said @op!

which purpose exactly ? Lots of babies and teens die everyday , is that his purpose for them ? Oh ! Gosh .


So you are actually telling me that ur god has programmed your life and purpose like a robot , to the extent that he is waiting for them to be fulfilled ?
Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by MizJanet(f): 10:47pm On Sep 29, 2015
Image123:


No, not more important. Every child of God is already with Jesus in a sense BTW. Patience is a virtue given us by God, waiting some tiny 100years to go home and stay for over 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000years is a luxury we can afford. Stare at the big picture until it sinks.

Lollls, why wont you wait aftrall you know they are fantasies . You know the opposite of living is NON-LIVING .



My point exactly. Being prepared to die, ready to die or wanting to die is not a proof of anything in the context of our discussions. SOME people are prepared, willing and resigned to die. i gave example of SOME Hajj stampede victims and suicide bombers. Some of them are willing and resigned and ready. With the hope that they are going to some place ( false or real )
Dont bring business here , suicide bombers are paid and they must render the service . No biggie .
Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by K9blunt(f): 8:09am On Sep 30, 2015
Image123:


I'm also happy and free, despite being allegedly misguided. My conscience deems it fit for me to serve God and believe Him. Only hypocrites feel there's no heaven and yet are not at ease with people like me.
@first .......good for you
@last ...............not at ease with your kind! oh please get a grip!
people like me just simply get tired of your type of people, jeez!
Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by PastorOluT(m): 10:53am On Sep 30, 2015
MizJanet:


of cos , use your brain ; why would a god waste time to create the earth if his sole aim is to take them to heaven ?



which purpose exactly ? Lots of babies and teens die everyday , is that his purpose for them ? Oh ! Gosh .


So you are actually telling me that ur god has programmed your life and purpose like a robot , to the extent that he is waiting for them to be fulfilled ?

Obviously the msg of the cross is indeed foolishness to them that are perishing!
Re: An Hilarious Testimony In The Church by Image123(m): 8:35pm On Oct 01, 2015
MizJanet:


Lollls, why wont you wait aftrall you know they are fantasies . You know the opposite of living is NON-LIVING .



Dont bring business here , suicide bombers are paid and they must render the service . No biggie .

You have no idea, heaven is real and i want to go there.
What business are you on about? The fact is clear for you to reason instead of hiding behind that finger of yours.

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