Some people enjoy talking but are unaware of the rules that guide conversations. Here are some rules to observe when you engage in discussions with people

Listen more

It is often said that to be a good conversationalist, you have to be a good listener. That is to say that the key to a good conversation is not in the talking, but in the listening. Avoid being self-centred in conversations. You can ask intelligent questions and offer brilliant advice to people only when you listen more. Also, simple gestures like focusing on who is talking, nodding your head, and adding little exclamations at appropriate moments, show the other party that you are interested and involved in the discussion.

Be prepared

Before you start a conversation with someone, ensure you are prepared on what to say or at least how to kick-start it. Do not start up a conversation and fall short of what to say or get lost in the middle of it. Think about the things that will probably interest people you converse with and look for some background information on the topic of discourse or the people.

Tailor the conversation

It is better to discuss certain topics with people you are familiar with. The people you meet for the first time may have reservations about certain topics and may not feel comfortable discussing them with you. Avoid awkward topics or arguing with the other parties.

Don’t dominate

A conversation involves two or more people sharing opinions and ideas about a particular topic. It is a dialogue and not time for monologues. If you are in charge of the conversation and have talked for a few minutes without any questions, comments, or general signs of life from other people, cede the floor to someone else and give them room to share their own perspective on the topic of discourse. Do not monopolise the conversation.

Think first

Some mistakes are made in conversations because people fail to think before they speak. Sometimes, in the course of a discussion, they could utter annoying words to the other parties. To avoid offending people during conversations, don’t blurt out statements out of anger or without thinking. You could avoid further disagreements by sieving your thoughts before speaking them out.

Don’t interrupt

When you are involved in a conversation, give people the opportunity to air their opinions because they are entitled to it. Do not interrupt anyone; wait until they have stopped talking before you start. Interrupting a person’s thought or speech sounds rude and could send the discussion off into another tangent. This also applies to telephone conversations. When you are interrupted, the polite thing to do is shut up and not go back to the conversation except you are asked to.

Be liberal

When there are more than two people involved in a conversation, be sure to involve everyone in the discussion. Do not take sides or prefer a particular person for the conversation. Also, be sure to choose subjects which everyone has an interest in, so they can contribute to it. That makes people have a sense of belonging.

Don’t overshare

Having a conversation with someone, especially when you need an advice on a particular issue does not mean you should reveal your entire life as soon as you start the discussion. If you would reveal a certain amount of information about yourself, ensure you do that with someone you feel safe with and can trust. Revealing too much personal information could cut across as an act of desperation and repel people.

Respect privacy

It is good that people trust you enough to tell you their secrets but do not sound nosey or desperate by probing for too much information, especially when they do not feel like revealing more. Don’t dig too deeply into their personal life. If they are comfortable talking about the particular issue again, let them bring it up at their own pace. If they don’t seem willing to discuss it any further, change the subject.


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