He said his wife has shown greed and selfishness right from their courtship days but he didn't border then since he thought marital responsibilities will take care of it but he made a great mistake from my point of view. They got married five years ago and are now having two boys aged four and two plus, he has been the one taking care of the family, his own parent and his wife's family in terms of money, food and other things until he secured a contract job for his wife in an NGO two years ago, it was a good job money wise, about 170k per month, he was full of joy at the job offer, thinking the time for his wife to begin to assist him financially has come, he was mistaken as his wife told him after collecting her first salary that it's the responsibility of the man to provide for his family, however she promised to take care of her own family needs, he took it like that and endured the whole thing. The family of the wife according to the hubby cooperated with their daughter not to put her entire life into the hand of a man, to spend her money independently of the hubby, the hubby pay for rent, food, school fees of their kids and other sundry things while the wife spend her money on her family and expensive dresses and shoes and other things. The crux of the matter now is that the two year contract job ended in June 2015 and the hubby lobbied his aunty who helped him get the job for his wife not to help in getting the contract renewed for another two years, the wife has been jobless since then. The wife's family members have resurfaced all of a sudden to ask for financial assistance from their "in law" who was despised during the years of their "surplus", he had told them to their face never to come to him again warning that he would be forced to initiate divorce against their daughter if they don't desist. The family is in serious silent crises at the moment.
My take in the whole issue is that the wife didn't apply wisdom in doing things when she secured the contract job, also the husband ought to have expressed his resistance to the attitude of the wife and her family at that time, he ought not to have frustrated the renewal of the wife's contract job, the wife should go and look for another job with the experience she gathered in her 2 year stint with the NGO, the couple should sit up and ammend things in their union for the sake of their 2 kids.
What is your own advise to them?

Whaoh! the guy laid ambush for the wife to teach her a lesson, not good enough, they ought to have sorted their differences before it gets to this dead end, family! family!! family!!!, o ga o!

I don't blame the man one bit, the woman brought it upon herself. Next time she will learn not to bite thr fingers that feeds her. Her family members that should have been talking sense to her turns out to be shameless bunch of ingrates. They should look for financial favours elsewhere.

Whaoh! I love the man's bold reaction to his inlaws's demand, they aren't a good family at all, they ought to drum sense to their daughter but instead the compounded the issue Inspite the fact that the man have taking good care of them when their daughter wasn't employed, what the hell of a family is that? Let them now look elsewhere for their upkeep, is the woman their only child? However, the man took things too far when he blocked his wife's contract job renewal, he should have talked things over with his wife before the expiration of the first contract and insist that her understanding of the issues at stake will be a condition for helping her to secure the renewal of her job, they must sort things put asap as the OP suggested so that their union don't end up in ruins so soon, happy Sunday

The wife is still in power tussle with the hubby. Until she understands the essence of living together as hubby & wife (I doubt if she ever will looking at the role her family played) things may never be the same.
This is what happens when parents refuse to train their daughters. The man should stand firm on his decision, they will learn the hard way.

He really does not owe the wife's relatives anything. Well, too bad the woman was selfish even to her own children and husband. It's pretty much difficult for a single income to cater for a family's needs these days, and its the family income that matters I.e income from both husband and wife.
Their family unit seems to be flawed, and I dislike it when women push all the financial responsibility of running the house on the men.
Hope they are able to resolve their differences amicably.

great thought!

eyinjuege:
He really does not owe the wife's relatives anything. Well, too bad the woman was selfish even to her own children and husband. It's pretty much difficult for a single income to cater for a family's needs these days, and its the family income that matters I.e income from both husband and wife.
Their family unit seems to be flawed, and I dislike it when women push all the financial responsibility of running the house on the men.
Hope they are able to resolve their differences amicably.

madamshepopo:
great thought!

Thank you

madamshepopo:
Whaoh! I love the man's bold reaction to his inlaws's demand, they aren't a good family at all, they ought to drum sense to their daughter but instead the compounded the issue Inspite the fact that the man have taking good care of them when their daughter wasn't employed, what the hell of a family is that? Let them now look elsewhere for their upkeep, is the woman their only child? However, the man took things too far when he blocked his wife's contract job renewal, he should have talked things over with his wife before the expiration of the first contract and insist that her understanding of the issues at stake will be a condition for helping her to secure the renewal of her job, they must sort things put asap as the OP suggested so that their union don't end up in ruins so soon, happy Sunday

@bolded, he probably wouldn't have taken that step if the woman was contributing to the homefront. No one is saying she should not assist her family members but expecting her husband to shoulder all the financial responsibilities after having her own source of income is very just wrong. One piece of advise my mum gave me when I got my first job after marriage was to contribute to the home the little way i can even though I was earning peanuts compared to my husband. Men cherish stuff like that. Some women are just too shallow and myopic, they deserve to learn their lesson the hard way.

dominique:


@bolded, he probably wouldn't have taken that step if the woman was contributing to the homefront. No one is saying she should not assist her family members but expecting her husband to shoulder all the financial responsibilities after having her own source of income is very just wrong. One piece of advise my mum gave me when I got my first job after marriage was to contribute to the home the little way i can even though I was earning peanuts compared to my husband. Men cherish stuff like that. Some women are just too shallow and myopic, they deserve to learn their lesson the hard way.

I'm in agreement with you dear but they can still talk things over, I wish them well

He saw it all while courting and still decided to ignore.... It is easier to repair a girlfriend than to bend a wife...

The Woman Was Put To Test. She Failed Woefully. There's No Guarantee She Won't Repeat The Same Nonsense Selfish Act If Given A Second Chance. My Advice To The Hubby Is To Let Her Be On Sabbatical For Some Time,Whike In The Interim, Cutting Down Drastically In His Financial Commitments To Her And The Family. This Is Not A Punishment, But A Deterrent ToGer Greedy And Selfish Mien. He Can Let Her Off The Hook Later When She Really Sobers Up And Realise The Errors Of Her Ways.If Change us Evident, Then He Let's Her Know The Reason For His Stand. He Should Allow Her Back On The Job With An A Gentleman's Agreement To Turn A New Leaf.

I will never understand why it's a man's responsibility to feed his inlaws. Which culture is that

And why the man noticed she was selfish and greedy but still went ahead to 'wife' her is beyond me. Not like he didn't see it.

Anyways, as far as I am concerned, the man doesn't owe his in-laws nada except it's their culture sha

His primary duties lies with the wife and children. He should take extremely good care of his children and provide the basics for his wife.

If she needs any thing more than food and shelter, she should go out there and work her arse out to fund such lifestyle.