My husband gets mad really easy for example we were in bed and i wanted him to cuddle and he didnt want to, so i got a little disapointed and kept nagging him why not. All the sudden he pushed me across and off the bed. He has also broken multiple things like plates, bowls, and even threw my computer. Yesterday he pushed me onto the ground again and today he said he doesnt need me which really just hurt me the worst. He never even says sorry. Im just tired of it being this way and we only been married for 3 months. Which is why i dont want to leave and still have hope we can work things out. But everytime this happens im just misserable. I dont know what is the best way to react to make him realize this is not ok. I talk to him about it but it still happens. I usually just cry and beg him to be back to nice again. I just feel so pathetic

3months??

Sister abeg this your story does not define abuse ,rather it defines you already thinking of seperation when the real trials of marriage never start

Pineapp:
3months??
Sister abeg this your story does not define abuse ,rather it defines you already thinking of seperation when the real trials of marriage never start

I dont know what you define as abuse, but abuse is not only punching and beating. Also i never said i wanted to seperate, I said the opposite, which is why i asked how to react and work through this together. everyone says to leave and its really not that simple when you love them and have hope for better future

He is going through financial mess?

Why did he suddenly become this bad?

How long did you guys court?

Did you do something to hurt him in the past that he refused to forgive?

When it comes to breaking things, my advice is to keep your valuables from his reach before he destroys everything worthwhile in your house.

I think he needs the service of a shrink to manage his anger. He is still not get grown and shouldn't have married if he breaks things when angry.

For temporary measure, try not to do anything to upset him lest he breaks your head. Your life is important sis.

Call family meetin. Or mayb u'r clingy,too demanding. Giv him a breathin space if it doesnt work i'l giv u a ticket to smell buhari an.us

@Photogirl123

The first thing you need to do is to understand that his irritability has got nothing to do with you. You are not the reason why he is easily irritated. The problem is within him and will follow him no matter where he goes and all kinds of people and circumstances will trigger off aggressive, hostile, hurtful and damaging behavior on his side. He will only hold it back, as much as possible, when he fears serious repercussions but even then he will let out his anger at the next best possibility and this is very often going to be his home.

The second thing you need to understand is that anger and aggression are a disguise for other underlying feelings - often the feelings of vulnerability and helplessness. This piece of information will help you understand him better.

So here is what you need to do.

Make sure you remember that you are not the reason for why he feels the way he does and you are not responsible for his feelings either. Consequently you have to LET HIM BE and you have to make sure that you attend to your own well-being. You will not help him by feeling bad and you will not help him by putting additional pressure on him. Your power lies in your ability to feel well no matter how people around you are feeling. And it is my promise to you that your well-being will spill over and create a nicer atmosphere at home, in which he will have the chance to learn how to calm down without making the situation worse. Create a relaxed atmosphere and it will serve both of you. How do you do it? By taking good care of yourself and by making your own well-being the utmost priority. In this way, you will become the kind of person people love to be around and are able to find their peace around too.

One more thing you can do is to focus on his positive behaviors and by doing so appreciate them instead of constantly judging him for his mood swings, which are very likely the symptom of feelings of vulnerability and helplessness, remember? If he feels appreciated for certain things he already does - and I am sure there are things he does well, else you would not have married him - he will feel motivated to behave in such ways more and more and there will be less space for his negative attitude.

Remember that what we fight, preserves and what we focus on remains so make sure your focus is on your well-being and on his positive character traits.

I wish you all the best and may God bless your home.

Photogirl123:
My husband gets mad really easy for example we were in bed and[b] i wanted him to cuddle and he didnt want to, so i got a little disapointed and kept nagging him why not[/b]. All the sudden he pushed me across and off the bed. He has also broken multiple things like plates, bowls, and even threw my computer. Yesterday he pushed me onto the ground again and today he said he doesnt need me which really just hurt me the worst. He never even says sorry. Im just tired of it being this way and we only been married for 3 months. Which is why i dont want to leave and still have hope we can work things out. But everytime this happens im just misserable. I dont know what is the best way to react to make him realize this is not ok. I talk to him about it but it still happens. I usually just cry and beg him to be back to nice again. I just feel so pathetic

Is it possible to nag someone to cuddle you if they don't want to?

Were you trying to cuddle him when he pushed you to the ground again?

Maybe you stop initiating cuddles for some week leave it to him to initiate.

Photogirl123:
My husband gets mad really easy for example we were in bed and i wanted him to cuddle and he didnt want to, so i got a little disapointed and [size=28pt]kept nagging him [/size] why not.

Maybe he doesnt know how to nag you back

Do you think nagging is also abuse?

Like someone asked,how long did you court?
It's obvious your hubby has some underlying issues that need to be sorted.Is he going through a bad patch with his job or his finances?

Photogirl123:
so i got a little disapointed and kept nagging him why not. All the sudden he pushed me across and off the bed.

So, he pushed you because you nagged him but he's the problem? It seems to me you've left out huge chunks of this story, for example, what triggered his comment about not needing you which sounds like something only a psycho would say just out of the blue without any back story.

Honestly, I think you're as much the problem as he is. A brute and a nag is a match made in violence heaven.

How long did you court?How long have you known him?Was he trapped into the marriage?are you pregnant? Wat is happening financially?....How old is he?What is your husband's temperament?is your husband happy?......... Hope I am not asking too many questions,because 3months is just too early for news like this....

Here to learn and read comments


My only advice is pray seriously about it

Did he treat you this way while you were courting? since you've been married for only three months, it seems this is only the beginning of his character he is unfolding. But you two should still be in your honeymoon stage now, I hope you didn't cajole him to marry you because he is treating you as if you did.

Both of u are simply troublesome. U nag ur husband cos he didnt touch u, and he resulted to breaking your properties why didnt u ask why? He might be going through somethings at work or he might not just be okay. Was he like this bfr marriage?
Both of you need to go bck to your dating days, where you get to do things that please each other. Your marriage is still young, no need for naggiing and breaking bottles

We only heard your side of the story, until I hear ur husband's side of the story, sorry is your name. U may not be telling us the whole truth. Ur hubby is not an animal to break properties he bought with his own sweat

raumdeuter:


Maybe he doesnt know how to nag you back

Do you think nagging is also abuse?

Of course constant Nagging is an abuse, but going by this lady's narration, the husband is overreacting, I mean three months of marriage, they should be all over themselves, cuddling and.... Breaking of things when angry, depicts a very aggressive individual. Some people have quit relationships because their partners are short fused, a very aggressive person is dangerous. OP did you not notice this when you guys were courting, abi una no court at all. Nevertheless you need to be more careful and reduce or stop the nagging, before he breaks your head.

MARKone:


Of course constant Nagging is an abuse, but going by this lady's narration, the husband is overreacting, I mean three months of marriage, they should be all over themselves, cuddling and.... Breaking of things when angry, depicts a very aggressive individual. Some people have quit relationships because their partners are short fused, a very aggressive person is dangerous. OP did you not notice this when you guys were courting, abi una no court at all. Nevertheless you need to be more careful and reduce or stop the nagging, before he breaks your head.

For a woman to admit she is a nag, Can you imagine what the man would be going through?

Most nags would say they were just talking, SO for one to admit she was nagging it could have been like Hell for them man

You know the bible even said its better to live in a Desert than live with a nagging woman

raumdeuter:


For a woman to admit she is a nag, Can you imagine what the man would be going through?

Most nags would say they were just talking, SO for one to admit she was nagging it could have been like Hell for them man

You know the bible even said its better to live in a Desert than live with a nagging woman

Women don't just nag oo
You men are the main culprit

Don't nag. Please just don't.