It's been long since i heard from you so i decided to check up on you to know about the progress you've been making on your book.I believe u've written several other books so how can i get those ones.Expecting a reply. Take care.

oh no!!! u can't stop here, i'm getting addicted,

This is very good story. I can bet writing is in your blood. Just please keep it up. You see, as good as this is, I will make some suggestions:

In any modern story, there is need for the readers to see the features of each character in their picture's mind. In that story of yours, we do not know how Kiandra and Leon look like.

Modern Novel and need the feeling of immediacy. I think I do not feel that in your story. We have to know how the whether is, the type of the road, how the houses and in fact how Kiandra and Leon's rooms look like. We need to feel, taste, see, smell and hear at the same time in any given good story. Well, I hope you will like my comment.

@Ubiero, Boss bitch, cisse7575, thanks for all ur comments. I would gladly send u guys the whole unfinished manuscript - but I'm worried that once you read it, you'll harrass me into finishing it!!lol. And I'm not ready to finish it (Yes, I can be such a lazybones!)

@ cisse7575, I just posted excerpts, so there'll lots of parts missing where I made descriptions, details etc that would give the feeling of immediacy. But your pointers have been noted, any writer would be happy to hear constructive critique.

Very nice story, I like that it is fantasy. Not a lot of naija write that. The romance angle is very captivating. Hope you got enough ideas to continue. You can check out my contemporary romance and give me some feedback too.

@ Sugabelle,
are u half human?

@ brein,
Half human? I wish I was!!!!

I've always dreamed of writing a successful fantasy novel: realistic characters in an unrealistic setting. I'm trying to get away with this "Dreamkind" novel. I have a vision, but it's tougher than I thought to actualise it!!

@ Myne White,
U're right, I've run completely out of ideas. But what thrills me is that this entirely, completely my original idea, no one else's . So it'll come when it'll come. I'll check out your own excerpts, never fear. NL readers are a bit slow in encouraging writers, the whole lit thread is on its last legs , but with people like you, maybe we can bring it back to life!!

I would be glad to read the whole manuscript and give some good suggestions. Anyway, we are learning everyday, and no one is master writer, but there is always the Master Story tellers, lol

Good prolific writer you are just take ur time thats all the 'go' you need.
However the sometime prolixity writings/stories are just the best to read cos one derives some moody pleasures too.
keep up thou gud work and hope u get thru with it soonest.

@ brein,
thanks for that! I always try to write what I like to read. I know it needs a lot of polishing, but I'm happy with the basic idea. One day, I hope - and soon too - there'll be good news!! Just remember you guys saw it here first!

Again, You're Most Welcomed. All the best.

Ubiero:

It's been long since i heard from you so i decided to check up on you to know about the progress you've been making on your book.I believe u've written several other books so how can i get those ones.Expecting a reply. Take care.

hello dear, I didn't get that part of your post the first time I saw it. Well, I've opened a blog for you and everyone who might be interested in seeing some of my new stuff. Please subscribe so I'll know who's following. It'll inspire me to give my best and I promise you, I don't disappoint.

It's just for my NL peeps, so give that unfailing support, ok? Thanks guys.

So brein, cisse7575, Boss Bitch etc, see you there soon!

http://babyrocka./2009/08/21/dont-call-me/

There was a lot of hand shaking all around, and Sasha was smiling with utter smugness as she met the eye of Nnena, her colleague and arch-rival. Nnena had never believed Sasha could pull it off, that she could really hook them the MetroGold contract. But now all the papers were signed; they’d won the deal, and now the contingent from MetroGold were being led out for some celebratory drinks in the main conference hall.

   Sasha was busy packing up the precious documents, unaware that she was left alone in the room with the last person she wanted to speak to right then: Kade Ojo. They’d both been assigned to lead the team, and over the past several months it had taken to fix the deal, they had worked – and played – marvellously together. But considering that she’d broken things off with him just days ago with a callousness that she knew had left him reeling, she was hardly looking forward to a confrontation now.
   
She looked up from her briefcase with an easy smile. “Well Kade, this is it. Now we’re going to be making some real money.”
He smiled back, and it was not nice. She had to admit he looked extra handsome that morning, though his face had a drawn leanness that made him seem almost vulnerable. But she dared not pity him.
   
“And that’s all that really matters, hmm’n?” he asked, very coolly. He came up next to her, and she flinched a little when he reached out – but it was only to pick up his pen which was on the desk next to her case. “To you, everything’s about cold-hearted business, isn’t it?”
   
  She actually laughed. ” Why Kade, you of all people know that I also take pleasure quite seriously,” she purred, picking up the briefcase and turning smartly to leave, only to be stopped by the hard grip on her arm.

  Looking down at the long, lean fingers wrapped round her suited arm, she felt a twinge of annoyance. “Let me go, Kade. Now.”
 
  Instead of complying, he slipped an iron-band arm around her slim waist in one smooth move that had her chest-to-chest with him, his face mere inches from hers. Despite herself, Sasha panicked, looking round at the entrance to the office.

  “This is not good, Kade. Someone could walk in right now – “
 
  “I really don’t care,” he half-snarled, lowering his head till he could press his lips to her arched neck which she exposed to him as she strained her face away. He inhaled her heady, ice-and-fire scent that he knew would stay branded in his senses for a long time, and hated himself for his weakness. But he’d known that if he didn’t touch her one more time, he wouldn’t be able to walk away for good.

   He slipped both arms around her now and she was imprisoned firmly in his embrace, her soft, warm body crushed against him in a way that sent red heat through his veins. Why did she have such power, damn her. His hands slid down and underneath her short black skirt till they were running over her silky thighs. Remembering the way those thighs had clung round his waist time and time again made a low groan escape his lips.
 
  “You better let me go right now, Kade,” she said in the coldest voice she could muster. She didn’t really want him touching her this way. He was one of those men whose hands were blessed with the power to thrill and excite in barely moments – but this was hardly the time nor place. Sasha was almost tempted to suggest they had a parting shag, her place, that night. Maybe it would help them work better together; he’d soon enough get over her breaking it up with him, and they could co-exist peaceably as the weeks went by. Hmmn, one last toss in the hay with him would do her no harm, she figured, and when his lips suddenly clamped over hers, she melted into his kiss and finally let the briefcase slip from her fingers.

   He knew he could never memorize the taste of her, but he could try. He dived deep within her sweetness till their tongues clashed and meshed. Up, up went his hands beneath her skirt, till the generous curves of her smooth, firm bottom spilled into his palms. She moaned against his lips, and it was like music to his ears.

   Breathless, panting softly, she broke off the kiss, looking up at him with her temptress, thickly lashed eyes.

   “Really, Kade, we have to stop now. I, I’ll be home this evening. We could have dinner, talk. We have months to handle the MetroGold contract, I really don’t think we need the bad blood. There’s no need for us to be enemies, is there?”

  Kade was sorely tempted; in fact the thought of bedding her again got him hard as a plank. It was with difficulty that he chuckled humourlessly, releasing her and stepping back with slow, sure movements.

  “Of course not. And what’s one more Bleep between friends, huh?” he asked, watching as she straightened her skirt. “Thanks but no thanks, Sash.” He saw her eyes flash in her usual annoyance at the sound of that nickname. He’d always wondered why she hated to be called that so much. Well, now he’d never know.

  “And no need to worry how we’re going to get along – because we wouldn’t need to. I quit.”

   She stared at him. “What do you mean?”

   “What I said,” he shrugged. “I quit that very day, after you broke up with me right here in this same office. I handed in my notice, but Gabe told me to wait till the deal had come through. And well, this is it.”

   Sasha could only gape at him in disbelief as he headed for the door. How could Gabriel Odu, their boss, let Kade go just like that? He was the best they had, almost indispensable. How were they going to manage the multi-billion naira deal they’d just won without him. She was protesting out loud before she could stop herself.

   “Kade, you can’t be serious!” He was almost at the door and she practically sprinted after him, almost crashing into him as he halted in his tracks to face her. “This is crazy! We’ve worked on the MetroGold case for ages, you’re the only one apart from me who can work this thing! You can’t do this to me, it’s unfair!”

   “Like you would know about fairness,” he said calmly, coldly.

  Arms akimbo, she glared up at him. “So this is about revenge. How petty. I’d have thought you’d be bigger than that.”

  He gave her a careless shrug. “Maybe I really don’t want to be around you – or maybe it’s just a career move. Several months ago I was offered a position with ZanZiCorp – top exec role, double what I earn here. But I chose to stay. Because you only just started speaking to me and I felt I could finally get you. They put us together on the MetroGold deal, and I guess I was in heaven. But it didn’t last very long did it?” He smiled, lop-sided and sad.

   Sasha ran fingers through her hair helplessly. ZanziCorp was the biggest player in the field, and it was believable that they would try to steal Kade, he was after all, good at what he did, the best. “Look, we had fun, Kade. It was good. But this…this is work, this is business. The company is relying on you…”

   “Sometimes, there’s more to life than business, Sasha,” he said, and the look he gave her was almost one of pity. She hated him so much at that moment for doing this to her! But she would rather die than beg.

   “If it’s any comfort, the fact is, I’m totally incapable of working with you. I’m actually doing you all a favour by leaving. The offer from ZanziCorp still stands, and they said I could start as soon as I could. I guess things have worked out okay for all concerned, don’t you think?”

  “Oh, we will manage very well without you, never fear,” she said through gritted teeth. “We don’t need you. I don’t need you.”

   He smiled – and it was like a stab to the heart for her because for a moment, in his eyes, she saw that he had really, truly cared. “I think I’ve figured out that out by now. Goodbye, Sasha. And good luck.” Before she could reply he was gone, the door clicking behind him in a way that was like deja vu. Only days ago she had walked out on him with such decisiveness that she was so sure she’d had the last word. But now, alone and suddenly confused, she realised that she had lost the game – in more ways than one.

The Sasha Pierce story has begun on my new blog, I just wanted to share it with you guys. She's a cold, ambitious woman, she's been hurt before and swears to love 'em and leave 'em, each and every time. It's practically still in foetus mode, very new and I just add stuff as the mood moves me, but it'll be nice to hear comments, see if I can get some pointers. I'll be posting links next time instead of the whole story, which continues on my babyrocka's blog. Cheers people!

http://babyrocka./2009/08/24/so-not-over/

@ MyneWhite, I read your comments, thanks for the feedback. You're correct, right now I'm on a roll , it's that stage where the stuff is flowing and one can hardly get any sleep till it's all written down. Speaking of, there's more. I'm glad you admire the Sasha character, I didn't want her to be so mean that she wouldn't be likeable. Once again, your feedback meant a lot, thanks !


http://babyrocka./2009/08/25/9/

like this

@pinky lady, thanks for liking!

@Myne White, saw ur pointers, I'm new to blogging, haven't got the hang of it yet. I guess that's why it all looks so disorganised. About the flashbacks, you're right, it's all a bit roly poly but I'll try to make sense when I finally edit the whole thing. I just keep writing in like it's a diary, not really planning anything yet.

Here's the story in sequence, though if anyone's visiting the blog, don't forget to start from the bottom and work your way up, lol!!!

Don't Call Me
http://babyrocka./2009/08/21/dont-call-me/

So Not Over
http://babyrocka./2009/08/24/so-not-over/

So Not Over II
http://babyrocka./2009/08/25/9/

Jacuzzi Night
http://babyrocka./2009/08/25/14/

Back In Time
http://babyrocka./2009/08/28/back-in-time/

That's all there is on my blog; though I've continued the story, it's not published on the blog. Would just paste everything on here to save you guys using the links, but some stuff is just too steamy for NL!! There's some serious adult content so I guess I'll keep this thread clean !

PS, like I said the story continues, but I won't feel the need to publish on the blog unless I think it's making some impact. Myne White seems to like it, but maybe she's just being nice! . Remember, NL pple, that feedback means a lot to a writer(like moi ) Au revoir!

Thanks to the guys that have been checking the babyrocka blog, the viewership is rising, and that's cool. The comments helped a lot too. Latest gist on the story. . . .

Lovers To Rivals

   It was the hard knocking on her door that finally drew her from her recollections, and shaking off her shadowy thoughts, she turned from the window with a,     “Come in.”

   Nnena entered, a bulk of papers in her hand. “You have to look at these,” she said, dumping them on Sasha’s desk. “These are projections, figures. MetroGold want the first production line to be running in four weeks. Just how are we going to fix this in time?”

   Sasha rifled through some pages, frowning when she saw what the trouble was. But she looked far from willing to help when she looked up at her colleague. “So why bring it to me?”

   Nnena fair-skinned face held some scorn. “Well, you worked on it for longer. If Kade was here I’d have probably asked him. But we both know why that is no more possible, don’t we?”

   Sasha folded her arms, scowling. “Now what’s that supposed to mean?”

   “Oh please,” Nnena snapped. “Everyone knows it was your fault Kade left. We’re not all as thick as you obviously believe we are. I for one know how you strung him along, played with him and then dumped him when you decided the game was getting boring.” She was shaking her head, her eyes filled with hatred as she held Sasha’s gaze. “We could never understand what he saw in you. We warned him, told him you were bad news…”

   “This ranting isn’t all because of your concern for the MetroGold contract, is it?” Sasha mocked. “It’s actually about you. Kade chose me. You could never forgive me for that.”

   “I could never forgive you for breaking his heart,” was Nnena’s reply. “Kade was a nice guy, he didn’t deserve that. And now we’re all stuck with a deal we just might end up losing if we don’t get it wrapped up by the contracted time. I’m sure you know the implications.”

   Both women glared at each other for several moments. At last Sasha threw up her hands. “What do you want me to do! I didn’t know he was going to resign. And for your information, Kade and I had been having problems for weeks. I decided, finally, that the relationship couldn’t continue. If that sounds callous to you, then you can keep your opinion. You and the rest of the gossip club.”

   “Don’t you worry. We have better things to talk about than Ms. Broom-stuck-up-her-ass,” Nnena sneered. She pointed to the papers scattered on the desk. “You’d better fix that. Rumours are already going round that Gabe is not happy with you at all. We lose this, and you might lose your job. I guess he’s beginning to figure out that you’re costing him far more than you’re worth.” She shrugged with a mocking smile. “I always knew you were overrated.” And with that parting shot, she left the office.

   The next day was a Tuesday. Sasha found herself driving to the state-of-the-art skyscraper that housed the ZanziCorp offices. The company was half-owned by South Africans, and was worth billions of naira. It was tough enough getting past security, but she was finally at the ground floor reception. She stated her business, and was given a visitor’s tag and directions to the twenty-first floor offices.

   His secretary was beautiful. Slim, graceful and with a pretty smile. Her suit was well-cut, perfectly fitting and riding high on her knees. Sasha was getting over the fact that he even had one – and then one that was so high maintenance. She was beginning to understand the level of his career progression.

“You’re here to see Mr. Ojo,” she said in a voice that was cultured, well modulated. “You didn’t have an appointment, but he will be able to see you in about twenty minutes. He’s in a meeting right now.”

   “I’ll wait,” Sasha said, lifting her lips in response to the other girl’s courteous, white-toothed smile. The secretary went to work on her computer, and Sasha looked around the room. Clean, classy decor, obviously expensive. The seats, the paintings on the wall, the plush rug underfoot. Sasha’s inner annoyance at Kade was growing by the second. With a secretary like that and an office like this, what in the world would he possibly miss about AdSolute – what could he miss about her?

   It was two months since that last time they’d seen and spoken, and not even a text message had passed between them. She was really surprised he had agreed to see her. She knew she’d have been turned back at the gate if he hadn’t. The very thought was galling.

   When he appeared a good half hour later, he was in the company of three other men – two were white, all dressed in dark, power suits, sharing handshakes and those solemn nods that only passed among men who respected each other for their power and money. Kade saw them to the exit of the reception area, and agreed to meet them for lunch later in the week. He looked so at ease and in charge of things as she regarded him with interest and a bit of awe. But she kept this out of her expression as she rose to her feet to face him as he finally made his way towards her.

   “Sasha. Good to see you.” They shook hands automatically. He even smiled. “It’s a pleasant surprise.”

   “Is it?” she asked, her eyes searching, sceptical. He invited her into his office, telling his secretary to hold all calls.

   Kade’s inner office was impressive, far better than anything she could hope to have at AdSolute. The furniture was minimalist, but every item of it spelled taste, style and high expense. A wall-to-wall picture on the window gave a gorgeous view of the Lagos skyline, and Sasha bit on her lip with envy. He indicated a seat, and she took it, crossing her legs elegantly. Being a fan or short skirts herself, she knew she was giving him a healthy eyeful. “You’ve really moved up, Kade. No need to ask how you’ve been getting on.” She looked meaningfully around.

   He shrugged. “Perks. That’s all they are. The pay doesn’t hurt either. But that’s not why I chose the job. Enough about me though, how about you?”

   “Why don’t we quit the small talk, Kade,” she said coolly. “You know why I’m here.”

   She watched him go to settle into his chair behind the desk, and it struck her how much this all suited him: the so-called “perks”, the surroundings. He even looked different. He had always been well turned out, always seemed self-assured. But there was an aura about him that she didn’t recognise, like a cold, invisible wall she could never penetrate. Why was she feeling a tinge of regret?

  “Well, making a wild guess I’m quite certain you’re not here to beg on your hands and knees for me to take you back,” was his sarcastic reply. “So I guess this is all about the MetroGold deal. Unfortunately, I can’t help you if that’s the case. You see, as we speak, ZanziCorp is showing a serious interest in making a bid for it. And I’m in charge.”

  Sasha’s mouth was gaping. “Kade, you can’t do that! I mean, that plain goes against the grain!”
   
  He merely shrugged. “What can I say, Sasha? My loyalties have changed.” He leaned forward, elbows on desk as he smiled expressionlessly. “Just what did you come here to do, Sasha? Convince me to come back to AdSolute?”

   “No… I…I wanted to ask for your help. We’d reached a dead end and I figured only you could – .“ She shook her head at him. “And now you’re saying we’re going to be fighting over this contract?”

   “From lovers to rivals, huh?” he murmured, before glancing carelessly at his watch. “Sorry, Sasha, but I have an important appointment in ten minutes.”
   
   She sighed raggedly, as with shaky feet she rose. “You really hate me, don’t you?”

   “Wrong, Sasha. I’m totally indifferent. Like you once said to me, it’s very hard to turn down a profitable proposition.” He was standing and striding to the door as he spoke. When he held it open to her silently, she had no choice but to walk with dignity, to where he stood.

   “You were always a cocky sonofabitch, Kade,” she said softly, “But I never would have imagined you’d turn into such an asshole.” And with that, she swept past him and out of the room.

http://babyrocka./2009/09/03/lovers-to-rivals/

NB catch up on the whole story by clicking on the August archives .

Guys, if you ever need to check out my latest posts/instalments, please see my profile. Looks like this thread is having some hiccups as it's excluding the recent posts. Much luv, peeps.

Damn girl! You're so good reading your work gave me goosebumps. I'm not into fantasy,but this was just. . Wow.

Atreus, thanks for that. Coming from you (yep, I've read your stuff - and for a guy, you sure write some cool romance), those comments are great compliments. Goosebumps hey? You can only imagine what reading your story did to me.

hi,sugabelle.How are you and how is the book going? Please can i get the topic on which atreus's book is posted. I really need to get your books but i'm yet to get any reply from you.And seeing as i only have limited time to be on the net, i think i would really love to get the hard copy to keep myself busy. thanks.

Ubiero:

hi,sugabelle.How are you and how is the book going? Please can i get the topic on which atreus's book is posted. I really need to get your books but i'm yet to get any reply from you.And seeing as i only have limited time to be on the net, i think i would really love to get the hard copy to keep myself busy. thanks.

I believe sugabelle was banned - but guess what, post your email when next u're online, I could mail you some of her stuff I have. I'm sure she wouldn't mind .

Are you serious? Why? What did she do?

Myne White:

Are you serious? Why? What did she do?

lol, help me ask them o(admin). And from the look of things, she ain't never coming back .

@sugababe, I can see a very storng influence of M&B ,harlequin romance and those other romantic books in your work.you are as good as any of the authors under the genre I know.You write brilliantly love! But I need to say that you must examine yourself and find out what your motives for writing this kind of work is.As writers, we are responsible for shaping the lives and minds of our readers.you want to ask yourself what influence your wrok will have on your readers, what message you want to pass across, at the end of the day,if it isn't something you want your kid sister or daugter to pick up then you should think twice about publishing it. In all honesty,that aside,youre a gifted writer!

im a fan

@ maedan. How is everything? Please dis is my email address @yahoo.com. Could u pls kindly send d stuff to my inbox. Hoping u get d notification so dt u can send it to me. Thank u. I guess sugabelle is pissed and so has decided to let NL go. Cos I've nt seen much of anytin since den from her. And dat makes me sad.