Advice

ok

Love.. Love .. Love is a beautiful thing

DuchessLily:
Love.. Love .. Love is a beautiful thing

smile! Advice me now.

Bros, Love is good, but it's not all you need to make a complete marriage. The marriage my mother told me about is forever, and so, don't make it a life of misery for whatever reason. From your right up, she is below your expectation academically, and so, I don't advise you to settle for less. She hasn't even entered higher institution ( as against your initial plan), and to me her ego would not allow her to take a less demanding course academically. I won't advise you to do her exams for her and push her into a university either, except if you are ready to sort her way all through school. The future of the generation you intend to beget through her should be considered too. As per her village and yours, Hmmm! That's a story for another day! It's not as easy as you think. I'm an Ibo girl, an I know there is more to the "don't marry here, don't marry there" thing than meets the eye.
My advice: she is not your spec. Slowly break away. Both of you will definitely see your betterhalves elsewhere. And moreover, it's not all relationships that end in marriage. Look before you leap. I wish you well.

And you mentioned NOUN, were you thinking that NOUN is an easy place? Hmmmm! You are in for a looooong thing! You must be sound academically for you to make it through that place, cos most times you are the teacher and the student at the same time. I have been there.

Ursino:
Bros, Love is good, but it's not all you need to make a complete marriage. The marriage my mother told me about is forever, and so, don't make it a life of misery for whatever reason. From your right up, she is below your expectation academically, and so, I don't advise you to settle for less. She hasn't even entered higher institution ( as against your initial plan), and to me her ego would not allow her to take a less demanding course academically. I won't advise you to do her exams for her and push her into a university either, except if you are ready to sort her way all through school. The future of the generation you intend to beget through her should be considered too. As per her village and yours, Hmmm! That's a story for another day! It's not as easy as you think. I'm an Ibo girl, an I know there is more to the "don't marry here, don't marry there" thing than meets the eye.
My advice: she is not your spec. Slowly break away. Both of you will definitely see your betterhalves elsewhere. And moreover, it's not all relationships that end in marriage. Look before you leap. I wish you well.

Thanks

Ursino:
And you mentioned NOUN, were you thinking that NOUN is an easy place? Hmmmm! You are in for a looooong thing! You must be sound academically for you to make it through that place, cos most times you are the teacher and the student at the same time. I have been there.

Yes.

I know that sometimes we wanna try to bring up the best in our partners, of which is very commendable. however, when marriage is involve, we need to scale it.

if you know deep in your heart, she's not compatible with you by all means dont pull through. it would be more heartbreaking and cruel to marry her and keep nagging her about her flaws which you knew from the beginning. you dont manage in marriage rather you grow in it, since its obvious that she may not be accepted in your family due to her background then dont put her through the pain of an introduction.

lastly, for marriage to work, there has to be attributes from both side. there has to maturity, communication and love.
those things you listed are secondary, you can change her if you try. I bet besides this things that are weighting you down, she is a good girl.

so my advise is, try your best a little to make her motivated. make her to be the best she can be, however if all fails to yield good result it is advisable to let go. cos it takes so many things to make up a marriage but just a little thing to break up.

@OP, you said that she's well versed in other things, what are those things? Can those things become a source of livelihood for her? If yes, then encourage her to pursue them. Formal education is not truly a yardstick for ascertaining one's true intelligence though it matters.

I also believe she's trying too much or there's too much pressure on her to get admitted. Let her relax with those things that she likes doing; don't bring up her admission status and watch her flourish. When she feels ready, she will try again. Also, talk to her, find out if there are issues she's battling with unknown to you. I had a friend in the primary school who was like this. She had a growth in legs that made her bowlegged. She was always mocked because of it and she was 'quite dull' academically. She went for an operation to remove the growth unknown to us. She came back after missing a term and became the most intelligent in the school. She was the highest in the national common entrance in my school.


Again, I understand your fears concerning your unborn children but someone who can speak queen's English as you say has the ability to read, undertand, retain and apply knowledge and I would like to believe that these are ingredients for academic success. Also find out if someone else has the same issue in her family. But I don't think it's hereditary.

Regarding your other points, I believe you can change your parents' mindset if you truly love her. Don't forget to pray for her too.
Sorry for the long story.

Guy! From all you have written above you love her no doubt but in every relationship a time comes when love fades , at such times other things shared together helps keep the relationship going till love is revamped, so if its love alone dont marry. Love alone is not enough reason to marry

Thanks

Dear writer,
From your writer up, you place academic interest far above other indices of love. It is not a bad idea though, but you must also take cognisance of other factors militating against her success in Jamb. As per the issue of tribe and her father's profession that should be a decision you decide before continuing the relationship.

Nelgenius4me:
Dear writer,
From your writer up, you place academic interest far above other indices of love. It is not a bad idea though, but you must also take cognisance of other factors militating against her success in Jamb. As per the issue of tribe and her father's profession that should be a decision you decide before continuing the relationship.

thanks

Your question should not be what if my parent say no, you already know they will likely say no, your question should be can you fight for her before your parent? if you cant let her go now that it is not too late. If you can, start bringing her to your place occasionally let them see her for her good self not her people but dont flaunt her as the one yet instead let her be like your sis friend so they dont enquire her origin yet.

You dont make plans for academic and dish her. Involue of plans from scratch, give her reasons for your whys, hear her out then watch her get motivated to succeed. Does she even know you want to marry at 30 or you dont think an unpleasant surprise can greet your surprise proposal?

sugarboi52:
I

did you marry her eventually