We have two kids - a girl (7) and a boy (5). Healthy and hyperactive kids!

My wife on the other hand happens to be temperamental and impatient with children. She's critical about everything the kids do. "What is wrong with you children?" she would usually scream. "You don't hear word"... The list of her rants is endless.

I don't like children living in an overtly restrictive and abusive environment, so I would often rise to correct my wife. Now, that becomes the beginning of another round of quarrel.

I know if she continues this way, the children may grow up to resent her. I don't want a dysfunctional family.

My question is this. How do I talk to my wife for her to have a change of heart?

Mature advice please.

Slap some senses into that end time wife

Na end time wife....

.

You don't correct or caution your wife in the presence of your children. Take her to a conducive place or better still wake her up at night and talk things straight am sure she will listen.

This is a Simple Matter......... Tell Her that if she keeps Behaving in such manner towards the kids,those kids will return the favour back to her in Posterity. What we fail to comprehend in this life is that its Tit for Tat.. How would you have kids and treat them like thrash, even if she doesn't value children, she schould value Human Life. Treat them with respect and Tolerance. I Grew up in a similar kind of home, that's why till today me and my Dad ave gat a very bad relationship and it doesn't make sense. You have to keep scolding her as well let her know that she has to treat them nice @ all times, cos even if one has gat a bad experience growing up, that doesn't mean one shud transfer the aggression to ones offspring

kovak:
We have two kids - a girl (7) and a boy (5). Healthy and hyperactive kids!

My wife on the other hand happens to be temperamental and impatient with children. She's critical about everything the kids do. "What is wrong with you children?" she would usually scream. "You don't hear word"... The list of her rants is endless.

I don't like children living in an overtly restrictive and abusive environment, so I would often rise to correct my wife. Now, that becomes the beginning of another round of quarrel.

I know if she continues this way, the children may grow up to resent her. I don't want a dysfunctional family.

My question is this. How do I talk to my wife for her to have a change of heart?

Mature advice please.

Ogam.


I no know much about wife matter because I ain't married but an old man once told me that it is very wrong to rebuke or correct your wife in the presence of your kids.

It seems you leave all the disciplining of the kids to her then undermine her when she is doing it.

Kids need some kind of structure and discipline, I understand you have different mentality towards child rearing, you guys should have sorted this out before getting married.

You are both two extremes, she likes structure you like a carefree unrestricted environment. Parents should join forces and raise kids not divide and rule.

You want to be the kids favorite and you leave her to deal with tantrums and public melt downs. I am sure she spends more time with the kids and their noise and hyper activeness can get upsetting.

My advice work more with your wife and reason together, give them some structure and also some freedom. Let there be rules, there should be places where they can play and places where they cant.
They should be rules on what they can touch and what they cant.

They should also learn not to touch everything and stick to their toys.

Stop making your wife the bad guy. When they go and start misbehaving in public it's the mother who gets the bad stares

Eseh she ya wife hommz! U talk to her! That's why I love ma self ain't never been a puss ass licker mohafucking nigga, eat no bullshit from no woman.

Today is my birthday nl, show some love to soft DemiG, just view ma profile, hit the like button

Eish! The irony is such women never change! That's just her.. I'm sure she would have been showing such signs even before she became a wife or a mother but OP never deemed it fit too look deep into that then.. You just have too live with it, its too late. To change her.

Op can you answer the following.
1) what is longest time u have spent alone with the kids.

2) do u agree that kids need structure and discipline or they should be allowed to be free after all they are kids

3) is she always like that?

Op permit me to say this, you are the problem not your wife. It seems you don't set boundaries for your kids. Now when your kids do something wrong they should be corrected but if daddy always keeps quiet and mom does all the screaming scolding and ranting its not good. Love your kids and join forces with your wife to train them up in the right way.

Don't leave parenting to your wife alone! You both made the children. You mentioned your kids are hyperactive so assist her, scold them when they err. Daddy and mummy should have a common ground on raising kids. Make rules and both enforce it.

na wa o

OP, as much as I'll say it's not easy dealing with children, it's also not good to go overboard in correcting them. Your wife and yourself sound like two extreme personalities so I am sure she is also frustrated that you are not helping out in correcting and disciplining the kids. Both of you have to make adjustment and find a common ground.

Pls call her and tell her you are willing to be more hands on with the kids while also reminding her of the need for her to chill with them. The discussion won't yield any fruit if you make her believe she is the only one at fault.

Eketem:
It seems you leave all the disciplining of the kids to her then undermine her when she is doing it.

Kids need some kind of structure and discipline, I understand you have different mentality towards child rearing, you guys should have sorted this out before getting married.

You are both two extremes, she likes structure you like a carefree unrestricted environment. Parents should join forces and raise kids not divide and rule.

You want to be the kids favorite and you leave her to deal with tantrums and public melt downs. I am sure she spends more time with the kids and their noise and hyper activeness can get upsetting.

My advice work more with your wife and reason together, give them some structure and also some freedom. Let there be rules, there should be places where they can play and places where they cant.
They should be rules on what they can touch and what they cant.

They should also learn not to touch everything and stick to their toys.

Stop making your wife the bad guy. When they go and start misbehaving in public it's the mother who gets the bad stares

best reply for op..I have aunts that almost ran mad when their kids were growing up.The husband is never involved o,rather he will go upstairs in their duplex,shut the door of his room and leave her to deal with all their tantrums.Oga you should appreciate your wife,cos taking care of kids can drive you insane.I give my aunts props because kids can make u lose your mind.E no easy at all o.The kids will turn the house upside down,spoil things,cut their leather chair with blade,draw pictures on walls and all sorts of annoying stuff. Its your wife that gets to see all that crap mostly,so allow her discipline them. I am sure you don't know what she is passing through to make sure your kids don't end up being spoilt brats.Its better you mould your kids now to be well behaved, than later o.Not when they are already wild you start asking God 'why me?'

Life is all about checks and balances. Your wife cautions the kids more than you do. It is good. It is her kids too and she definitely want to instill discipline in them. My advice is that you should never rebuke your wife in the presence of your kids.

You have nothing to worry about. Kids need someone strict sometimes, else they become spoilt.

ask if the children go to boarding schools or holidays outside the home will help.

hope you don't recent your children been corrected or scolding ur wife in your children's presence.

take her out alone for drink or movie, talk to her on how you can manage ur home without any form of hatred or immoral upbringing of your children.

learn to pray as a family.

Eketem:
It seems you leave all the disciplining of the kids to her then undermine her when she is doing it.

Kids need some kind of structure and discipline, I understand you have different mentality towards child rearing, you guys should have sorted this out before getting married.

You are both two extremes, she likes structure you like a carefree unrestricted environment. Parents should join forces and raise kids not divide and rule.

You want to be the kids favorite and you leave her to deal with tantrums and public melt downs. I am sure she spends more time with the kids and their noise and hyper activeness can get upsetting.

My advice work more with your wife and reason together, give them some structure and also some freedom. Let there be rules, there should be places where they can play and places where they cant.
They should be rules on what they can touch and what they cant.

They should also learn not to touch everything and stick to their toys.

Stop making your wife the bad guy. When they go and start misbehaving in public it's the mother who gets the bad stares

You took the words right outta my mind!

It's ok for him to want them to be unrestricted etc etc he probably spends just a few hours with them daily! besides when they spoil finish " it's kuku their mother that will be blamed plus have to work at setting them back on track". He will just enter his car and go to work, party or to his other chick's place
Mcheeeewwwww

queenfav:
best reply for op..I have aunts that almost ran mad when their kids were growing up.The husband is never involved o,rather he will go upstairs in their duplex,shut the door of his room and leave her to deal with all their tantrums.Oga you should appreciate your wife,cos taking care of kids can drive you insane.I give my aunts props because kids can make u lose your mind.E no easy at all o.The kids will turn the house upside down,spoil things,cut their leather chair with blade,draw pictures on walls and all sorts of annoying stuff. Its your wife that gets to see all that crap mostly,so allow her discipline them. I am sure you don't know what she is passing through to make sure your kids don't end up being spoilt brats.Its better you mould your kids now to be well behaved, than later o.Not when they are already wild you start asking God 'why me?'

Stop talking trash. You don't shout at kids for any reason and call it discipline. It affects their psyche negatively. If a mother is frustrated, she should go and play Ludo or something ...

OP, talk to your wife and make her realize the consequences of shouting at kids. Maybe she would have a rethink once she realizes her actions are turning her kids into vegetables

YourCoffin:


Stop talking trash. You don't shout at kids for any reason and call it discipline. It affects their psyche negatively. If a mother is frustrated, she should go and play Ludo or something ...

OP, talk to your wife and make her realize the consequences of shouting at kids. Maybe she would have a rethink once she realizes her actions are turning her kids into vegetables

You are the one talking trash here..I have taken care of kids countless times so I know what it entails.so a mother should watch her kids do whatever they want even when they are wrong abi?Tomorrow the world will say they were not properly trained?Even the bible says spare the rod and spoil the child.That should tell you that parents have to discipline their kids reasonably so they don't become brats.Get your facts right ok.

Bro, there are some kids that when you talk to them in a gentle manner, They don't listen except when you scream or shout. and that is when they listen.

Please don't act like you love the kid more than your wife infront of the kids. it is gonna be way to bad and that will be when you have succeeded in creating what you do not like at home. try and tell them to do what their mother ask. and in the bedroom, you can always tell her to be patient with them. Stop correcting in front of them. it is not good.

Besides your family is a perfect one. a disciplinarian and the gentle one. at least when they misbehave and mommy threatened, they have someone to run to. So I thing it is balanced bro.

queenfav:
You are the one talking trash here..I have taken care of kids countless times so I know what it entails.so a mother should watch her kids do whatever they want even when they are wrong abi?Tomorrow the world will say they were not properly trained?Even the bible says spare the rod and spoil the child.That should tell you that parents have to discipline their kids reasonably so they don't become brats.Get your facts right ok.

1. Please don't quote that useless book to me. Many atrocities are being committed with that book.

2. It's a good thing you mentioned 'reasonably'. Shouting is not a reasonable way to discipline kids. Have you seen how kids and maids who their mothers or madam constantly shouts at behave and move?

She might not stop anytime soon till the root causes of her action are treated. You need to travel back in time with her and capture the spirit of her time growing up and you maybe lucky to pick up some leads if you pay attention to details.

She will have to trust you enough to open up. She could be projecting her fears into those precious kids and you wouldn't want your kids to grow up with such. Your wife needs help fast.

YourCoffin:


Stop talking trash. You don't shout at kids for any reason and call it discipline. It affects their psyche negatively. If a mother is frustrated, she should go and play Ludo or something ...

OP, talk to your wife and make her realize the consequences of shouting at kids. Maybe she would have a rethink once she realizes her actions are turning her kids into vegetables

Does Ludo help ease frustration?

Keep letting her know you dont like it

Tallesty1:
Ogam.


I no know much about wife matter because I ain't married but an old man once told me that it is very wrong to rebuke or correct your wife in the presence of your kids.

Vital lesson learnt. Thanks.

Danfuster:
Slap some senses into that end time wife

Lol...
I've never laid my hands on her and I never will. She's my wife not a punching bag!

Lucialovely:
You don't correct or caution your wife in the presence of your children. Take her to a conducive place or better still wake her up at night and talk things straight am sure she will listen.

Thanks. I'll try the night discussion.

Eketem:
It seems you leave all the disciplining of the kids to her then undermine her when she is doing it.

Kids need some kind of structure and discipline, I understand you have different mentality towards child rearing...

I actively train my kids o. And I give them discipline. But at their age, kids are hyperactive and are prone to be careless. I understand this and as such, I don't think one should be critical about everything they do or don't do.

kovak:


I actively train my kids o. And I give them discipline. But at their age, kids are hyperactive and are prone to be careless. I understand this and as such, I don't think one should be critical about everything they do or don't do.

I respectfully disagree Sir, Kids that age are not prone to be careless. Infact at that age they are mature enough to start helping care for the house.

I have two boys about that age so I know. They have never broken any of my ornaments or misplaced it because right from when they were crawling I made it clear that those places were off limits.

Kids are smarter than we give them credit for, they size you, they study you and they know which of the parents is easier to manipulate and work you.

At that age they should be helping to keep the house clean and not scatter it.

They should have their space to play and jump but they should respect boundaries and not be so careless around the house. They should even have their own roles and task to keep them occupied.

Sorry Sir, just my opinion.

andromida:


Does Ludo help ease frustration?

Ehen! Just keep banging the cup on the glass and you'll be surprised... The one with glass not the other one

kovak:


Lol...
I've never laid my hands on her and I never will. She's my wife not a punching bag!

You na real man. But honestly you have to sit her down and talk to her. Take her somewhere she likes, be certain her heart is open and talk to her maturly, If she persist after communicating with her softly then you have to man up and let her know this is serious

kovak:
We have two kids - a girl (7) and a boy (5). Healthy and hyperactive kids!

My wife on the other hand happens to be temperamental and impatient with children. She's critical about everything the kids do. "What is wrong with you children?" she would usually scream. "You don't hear word"... The list of her rants is endless.

I don't like children living in an overtly restrictive and abusive environment, so I would often rise to correct my wife. Now, that becomes the beginning of another round of quarrel.

I know if she continues this way, the children may grow up to resent her. I don't want a dysfunctional family.

My question is this. How do I talk to my wife for her to have a change of heart?

Mature advice please.

It's good you are concerned but such things happen only when the woman is not so sure of the paternity of the children. I'm not saying that your case is like that but women are dangerous things. She has a frustration she is unleashing on the children.