If one MUST choose one, I'll choose character any day and time because I don't want love from a prostitute or someone who farts in public with impunity or quarrels with everyone I know or beat the crap out of me (even though I don't hit a woman) or cheats on me or create problems everywhere or in fact, a terrible woman. When a bad person loves you, it doesn't worth the love, trust me.

When you get a person with a great character then you work on love, which most people already do without even knowing.

ops does the lady loves you? Are both of you in love?

DedeNkem:
If one MUST choose one, I'll choose character any day because I don't want love from a prostitute or someone farts in public or quarrels with everyone you know or beat the crap out of you or cheats on you or create problems everywhere or in fact, a terrible woman. When a bad person loves you, it doesn't worth the love.

When you get a person with a great character then you work on love, which most people already do without knowing.

olowoba:
I need advise from the married folks here.
There is this lady that i have been dating for over 3 years. She's pretty, her character is almost flawless, neat, domesticated, hardworking, respects and loves me a lot. In short, she will most likely be a good wife. However, I like her but do not love her from the depth of my heart. I have tried hard to love her because shes is a good gal but it just isn't there. However, I am still considering her because she has the best character i have seen amongst all the women I have met. My greatest fear is if i will be able to endure a loveless but relatively peaceful marriage.

On the other hand, I am beginning to fall in love woth someone else that i hardly know. She appears friendly, maybe not as pretty as current girlfriend but her smile can melt my heart. I am very fond of her and I just tend to like eveything about her. I have only known her for a short time and I am almost ready to go ahead with marriage. She's nice but not as loving as my gf. My fear is - what if she turns out to be a lazy, nagging and hateful wife. Will i be able to endure a bad wife that I love so much?

So which is more important to a successful marriage? Love or character?
Which should be the foremost in choosing a wife? To marry a good and loving gal, or to marry a girl I love that may turn out to exhibit some very bad characters?

Only for the married folks please....they have the experience.

If you marry your current girlfriend whom you do not love, it's obvious you'll cheat on her at some point

bros sorry for my advice cos it may sound as an abuse or insult but take it as advice... from all d story so far i can see dat u are fed up of d first lady u claimed to be in a relationship for three gud years,am so sure u love d girl throughout d first year,second year,third year. but av u forgotten ur words of approaching d girl from day one u met??. because u av seen one girl with a gud smile u now tink of u dont love d first girl...i dont buy such idea.. i dated my wife for gud 5years and she is d one am happily married to.from d heart of d first girl she will tink she must av seen a faithful guy to marry not knowing he is opposite,do u know d number of men d girl must av rejected dere offer because of u... guy if i know u in person i will need to give u a dirty slap..

Bro what I see u have for the second girl is lust since u have already called the other one ur girlfriend. So my man I advice u to cool down the tempo for her and settle down for ur girlfriend.

Tamakay:
Let me also add this, u can never get the true character of a woman until three things happens to u. They are; 1. When a man is broke 2. When there are issues(children). 3. When u cheat on her. When all these happens and she is still with u then know that her character is stable and the marriage will last. Don't forget also character is made up of so many components. She might have a good xter in respecting u but she might have a bad character in preparing ur meal not on time.

Really though??

Not minding the story, I'm going to go straight and answer your question.

Love is overrated. What exactly is love actually? A woman who has a good character, the character of a good wife to her husband and a good mother to her kids is already showing the greatest love. Forget those "baby I love you" crew. Show it.

To me, character takes it. Through your character, you show whether or not you love me.

olowoba:
I need advise from the married folks here.
There is this lady that i have been dating for over 3 years. She's pretty, her character is almost flawless, neat, domesticated, hardworking, respects and loves me a lot. In short, she will most likely be a good wife. However, I like her but do not love her from the depth of my heart. I have tried hard to love her because shes is a good gal but it just isn't there. However, I am still considering her because she has the best character i have seen amongst all the women I have met. My greatest fear is if i will be able to endure a loveless but relatively peaceful marriage.

On the other hand, I am beginning to fall in love woth someone else that i hardly know. She appears friendly, maybe not as pretty as current girlfriend but her smile can melt my heart. I am very fond of her and I just tend to like eveything about her. I have only known her for a short time and I am almost ready to go ahead with marriage. She's nice but not as loving as my gf. My fear is - what if she turns out to be a lazy, nagging and hateful wife. Will i be able to endure a bad wife that I love so much?

So which is more important to a successful marriage? Love or character?
Which should be the foremost in choosing a wife? To marry a good and loving gal, or to marry a girl I love that may turn out to exhibit some very bad characters?

Only for the married folks please....they have the experience.

. Though, I am not married yet. But common sense tells me that Character comes first in "everything u do". If u want to have a good home marry someone that u Like as time goes on d love develope naturally.

After 3 good years of dating....
My fellow broda,you are so inhuman.

https://www.nairaland.com/olowoba
"My greatest fear
is if i will be able to endure
a loveless but relatively
peaceful marriage."
Loveless you call it after 3 good years all because you are lustful after someone you don't really know!
No make me swear for you.

The other girl love you the most that's why she has a good character, while you love the other one. Single guys here would tell you to go for the one you love but married men will encourage you to go for the one with good character. Experience is the best teacher, make your choice.

Please Lord, deliver us (both men and women) from time wasters.

So, you have been dating a woman of marriageable age (I presume) for 3 solid years , and still uncertain whether you want to marry her? Ah!

Please let her go. Break up with her, so that she'll have the opportunity to find someone that will truly love her.

Olowoba, break up with the gf, and date the one you love. Part of the adventure of dating is discovering each other. Take that risk. Say NO to double dating

How do people even fall in love with someone with a bad character? Bad character is a no go area for me, no love at all!

IHate9ja1:
https://www.nairaland.com/olowoba
"My greatest fear
is if i will be able to endure
a loveless but relatively
peaceful marriage."
Loveless you call it after 3 good years all because you are lustful after someone you don't really know!
No make me swear for you.

So are you saying that he should marry someone just because he has dated her for 3 years?
A broken relationship is way better than a broken marriage.

Otsealu1:
Its character. There is a stage in marriage according to my mum where love is no where to be found. Its character that sustains it at this stage. One will have to calm down for peace to reign.

very true. there r times when my parents disagree to an extent that i ask myself 'do these two love each other?' but my mom's gud character has kept d home intact..she is very humble, doesnt raise her voice at my dad when trying to make her point during d course of any disagreement and makes my dad feel like a king even during heated arguements....I hav learnt frm my parents that there will definitely come a time in d marriage when one partner wont feel 'love' towards d other person..In all, I hav realized that love isnt everything, but understanding and a good character keeps a marriage working...

datguru:
Let me put you in the right frame of mind bro.

Love and character work together, the reason you love a person is because of certain characters the person portray that attracts you and makes to want to be with that person. If you claim to love someone, it means you like the person's character.

Now, talking about love, it's a mental thing. Love is like a sickness and we recover from it with time. Love is necessary but not too important in a relationship or marriage, because it's like malaria, it comes and goes. The only thing you need to sustain any marriage or relationship is TOLERANCE.
Sometimes we see people who were deeply in love before getting married but 6 months after the marriage, they are talking of divorce, it's because there's no tolerance

You can only tolerate someone whose character you like. So I in this context, I think character before love

Well 'said'!

Tolerance is the key word for sustaining a relationship or marriage.

datguru:
Let me put you in the right frame of mind bro.

Love and character work together, the reason you love a person is because of certain characters the person portray that attracts you and makes to want to be with that person. If you claim to love someone, it means you like the person's character.

Now, talking about love, it's a mental thing. Love is like a sickness and we recover from it with time. Love is necessary but not too important in a relationship or marriage, because it's like malaria, it comes and goes. The only thing you need to sustain any marriage or relationship is TOLERANCE.
Sometimes we see people who were deeply in love before getting married but 6 months after the marriage, they are talking of divorce, it's because there's no tolerance

You can only tolerate someone whose character you like. So I in this context, I think character before love

mehn I owe u 3 bottles of ORIGIN!!

Seriously, 3 years vs short period. Character + pretty + loving vs love.

Anyways, our elders say he who lets go of the tail of an animal he's caught in order to catch the head always ends up with nothing.

Be well advised bruh.

you can't talk about love without character and vis versa...both are extremely needed in a marriage

oba999:
bros sorry for my advice cos it may sound as an abuse or insult but take it as advice... from all d story so far i can see dat u are fed up of d first lady u claimed to be in a relationship for three gud years,am so sure u love d girl throughout d first year,second year,third year. but av u forgotten ur words of approaching d girl from day one u met??. because u av seen one girl with a gud smile u now tink of u dont love d first girl...i dont buy such idea.. i dated my wife for gud 5years and she is d one am happily married to.from d heart of d first girl she will tink she must av seen a faithful guy to marry not knowing he is opposite,do u know d number of men d girl must av rejected dere offer because of u... guy if i know u in person i will need to give u a dirty slap..

No I did not. I was initially attracted to her because of her beauty but couldn't let go of her because of her outstanding character. There were times in which we broke up but I always find a way of bringing her back because she meets my specs character-wise and socially. Aside that, I do not romantically have feelings for her. I like her but I'm not in love with her. I can spend days without thinking about her at all.
However, I'm falling in love with the other girl.

Character comes first because humans always get attracted by something to build love. Some get attracted to the physique, some the intellect, and some character before they start talking about "I Love You" So good character is very important in saving/keeping a marriage.

My dear both are very important. If u love someone with a bad character, that love will eventually turn to hate and when you marry some one that has a good character but you don't love, you will end up making both of ur lives miserable which may also lead to a strong hate between u 2.

Kingsasian:
I can't live with someone I don't love so I prefer no.1. I know how to tame a woman with a bad character

Just a few question. For how long into eternity would you continue to tame a woman with a bad character? 10 years in the marriage? 25? 30? 50?

For how long would u live with a beautiful loving and caring woman you don't love? How long? If it take you more than 21days living with such yet no sign of you loving her, then you may have to check yourself.

My dear, you can live to grow for a good wife, but may die taming a woman with a bad character.

For me, I will go for the first. Love is powerful.

olowoba:
I need advise from the married folks here.
There is this lady that i have been dating for over 3 years. She's pretty, her character is almost flawless, neat, domesticated, hardworking, respects and loves me a lot. In short, she will most likely be a good wife. However, I like her but do not love her from the depth of my heart. I have tried hard to love her because shes is a good gal but it just isn't there. However, I am still considering her because she has the best character i have seen amongst all the women I have met. My greatest fear is if i will be able to endure a loveless but relatively peaceful marriage.

On the other hand, I am beginning to fall in love woth someone else that i hardly know. She appears friendly, maybe not as pretty as current girlfriend but her smile can melt my heart. I am very fond of her and I just tend to like eveything about her. I have only known her for a short time and I am almost ready to go ahead with marriage. She's nice but not as loving as my gf. My fear is - what if she turns out to be a lazy, nagging and hateful wife. Will i be able to endure a bad wife that I love so much?

So which is more important to a successful marriage? Love or character?
Which should be the foremost in choosing a wife? To marry a good and loving gal, or to marry a girl I love that may turn out to exhibit some very bad characters?

Only for the married folks please....they have the experience.

My bros I'll u to go for love; when love is in place every other short coming is overlooked. Love in marriage is the in-thing, u'll keep smiling every other day n live longer. Don't be deceived please.

olowoba:
I need advise from the married folks here.
There is this lady that i have been dating for over 3 years. She's pretty, her character is almost flawless, neat, domesticated, hardworking, respects and loves me a lot. In short, she will most likely be a good wife. However, I like her but do not love her from the depth of my heart. I have tried hard to love her because shes is a good gal but it just isn't there. However, I am still considering her because she has the best character i have seen amongst all the women I have met. My greatest fear is if i will be able to endure a loveless but relatively peaceful marriage.

On the other hand, I am beginning to fall in love woth someone else that i hardly know. She appears friendly, maybe not as pretty as current girlfriend but her smile can melt my heart. I am very fond of her and I just tend to like eveything about her. I have only known her for a short time and I am almost ready to go ahead with marriage. She's nice but not as loving as my gf. My fear is - what if she turns out to be a lazy, nagging and hateful wife. Will i be able to endure a bad wife that I love so much?

So which is more important to a successful marriage? Love or character?
Which should be the foremost in choosing a wife? To marry a good and loving gal, or to marry a girl I love that may turn out to exhibit some very bad characters?

Only for the married folks please....they have the experience.

My bros I'll advice u to go for love; when love is in place every other short coming is overlooked. Love in marriage is the in-thing, u'll keep smiling every other day n live longer. Don't be deceived please.

zoelife:


But the tendency for him to cheat in such a marriage is higher.

Or don't u think so?

Hmmm, yes. You're right. But if he knows what is good for him, he won't do that to a her. It's not everyday a guy meets such a woman.

Kingsasian:
I can't live with someone I don't love so I prefer no.1. I know how to tame a woman with a bad character

Wrong answer!

Your case can be likened to. Somebody that dabbled into FOREX and was given a demo account to practice with,after three month he made some profit and he sttart jubilating. Don't go into marriage with that calculation you may gett your hand burnt. Marriage nowadays is a game,and in most time women are smater,the only time you have to make a change is before you say I do, anyone you make you make after that will leave an indelible mark(wounds).
My advice to anyone regarding this is to leave love out of this. It is emotion that is killing us.Love is not a fix asset in this generation, it is avariable asset.

Matty33:
My bros I'll u to go for love; when love is in place every other short coming is overlooked. Love in marriage is the in-thing, u'll keep smiling every other day n live longer. Don't be deceived please.

When your parent ask you 'what do you know about love?' You will never know that it is a million dollars question untill realitty down on you. Don't get me wrong I know what love is.