Its actually a Godly and a Christian relationship with my fiancee, we have dated for three years now, though a distance relationship, we have never had sex.
she came around in this festive period and then she opened up a secret, it hurts me so bad to hear this from her, she told me that while I was away, she attended a compound party and then she had a taste of an alcohol which a guy served her, she became influenced and then it happened between them. she realized she was pregnant after 3month. she was mad at herself and she could only settle for an abortion.
Now she's begging me to have a space in my heart to forgive her. I need matured advice please, I am so bittered in heart, what should the innocent me do.

DAMN

forgive her ... Its only right to do so.. She opened up to you for christ sake.. without pressure .. So give her the benefit of doubt

Forgive her but as for continuing the relationship, its really upto you. Because this is too bad.

She's staying off sex but she can't stay off drinking?
Somehow I don't believe her story,at least not the way it happened.Was it a closed party where others are not present?I believe she simply had an affair.
Well you can determine if to forgive or not.

Petroking:
forgive her ... Its only right to do so.. She opened up to you for christ sake.. without pressure .. So give her the benefit of doubt

thanks, i wish i could forgive her, but she betrayed my love and trust for her.

jen2me:
Its actually a Godly and a Christian relationship with my fiancee, we have dated for three years now, though a distance relationship, we have never had sex.
she came around in this festive period and then she opened up a secret, it hurts me so bad to hear this from her, she told me that while I was away, she attended a compound party and then she had a taste of an alcohol which a guy served her, she became influenced and then it happened between them. she realized she was pregnant after 3month. she was mad at herself and she could only settle for an abortion.
Now she's begging me to have a space in my heart to forgive her. I need matured advice please, I am so bittered in heart, what should the innocent me do.

Forgive and forget

...its so complicated, she made this confession just this Sunday after her parent invited me to come and legally declare my interest for their daughter.
She didn't just open up without pressure, i had several dreams pertaining to us in which I decided to relate one of it to my pastor, then he told me the dream indicates that she has a hidden secret that she needs to make a confession of, i tried asking her for a complete 5months (though on phone call) she told me she is afraid she might not be able to open up till our wedding is close, prolly the fear of me leaving her.
But with much plead after i met her parent, she eventually opened up. Now I feel she has done something worse than breaking my heart.

jen2me:

thanks, i wish i could forgive her, but she betrayed my love and trust for her.

You can.. You just think other wise.. Lets look at it like this... She never told you what happened .. would you ever find out ??... The ability to open up makes her one to forgive

[quote author=jen2me post=41679877] Its actually a Godly and a Christian relationship with my fiancee, we have dated for three years now, though a distance relationship, we have never had sex.
she came around in this festive period and then she opened up a secret, it hurts me so bad to hear this from her, she told me that while I was away, she attended a compound party and then she had a taste of an alcohol which a guy served her, she became influenced and then it happened between them. she realized she was pregnant after 3month. she was mad at herself and she could only settle for an abortion.
Now she's begging me to have a space in my heart to forgive her. I need matured advice please, I am so bittered in heart, what should the innocent me do.[/quote


I am not saying that what she did was right. Please try to put yourself in her shoes.. Everyone has faults because we are humans.. I believe that she loves you and its not like she would not have loved to confess to you but because she would have been scared of loosing you. Although you need to give her a stern warning .. I detest the sight of shit even when i try to understand the situation of things.. Forgive her if you love her truly.. Make her happy by marrying her.. Invite me for the white wedding.. if its outside lagos i might not be able to attend.. Wish you all the Best.

She loves u to tell u ds but den again d story odikwa serious

Really appreciate the comments they are of value to me. but then, I have this fear in me, the fear of its reoccurrence now that she knows what sex is, cos obviously we will be going back to our different stations in pursue of our carrier, will she not go hunting for sex at my absence? the fear of fertility after this abortion also bothers me. what do you guys think.